placidsurfer15 said:Does anyone actually sell homemade cherry liqueur? Like, the real deal, small-batch stuff? Or does anyone know a plug who might have some lying around? I was originally planning on handing out little shot glasses filled with the good stuff as party favors, but man, I didn't realize finding high-quality, homemade cherry brandy would be such a mission. Most people I know only make enough for their own pantries, so they aren't looking to run a business—but I'm happy to buy it off you by the bottle. I'm probably looking at needing maybe 10-15 liters total to make this work. Please, help a girl out! If you've got a stash or a lead, hit me up via DM.🙏
Linda Wright5, my deepest condolences on the loss of your sister. I know how much this hurts, but she isn't suffering anymore. May God give you all the strength needed to find your way forward.
rapidbear8, I am truly sorry about your father. I know firsthand how much this stings. I hope God grants you the strength to get through each day. Lean on your family—draw strength from one another.
jadeeagle said:Hey Zachary Booth3 — would you mind sending over that lady's phone number and address? You know, the one who makes those incredible cookies—I'd love to reach out to her. Thanks!
Sure thing, I just need to check with my mom first to get the info since she handled all of that for me🙂, then I'll shoot you a DM tomorrow.
dustyranger11 said:I haven't posted in a while, but I wrote before about my dad. He has throat cancer. It was diagnosed 6 months ago, but he's definitely had it for about 2 years. (The doctors missed it even though he went in for checkups). He went through radiation and lost about 90 lbs. (In just 2 months!) He nearly starved to death. The doctors didn't even want to admit him because they didn't want someone like him taking up a bed, and honestly, they don't give a damn. They eventually mentioned a feeding tube—waiting until the last minute—saying they'd put it in his throat, or maybe an intestinal or gastric tube, but nothing has happened. He has a constant fever and we have no idea why. His throat is horribly swollen (probably from the intense radiation). They say there’s nothing visible in his throat except for the radiation edema that's almost closed it off, along with tons of phlegm. He's coughing up pus. He's heavily on morphine and already hallucinating. I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow, and I already know they'll be asking for money. They notified us today that they're discharging him and will likely send him to a Small town, USA (and they'll have to go through me dead first). It's so hard. He's deteriorated completely in just two weeks. The reason is he couldn't eat because his throat was burning, and then it swelled so much that even crushed pills or water wouldn't go down. I barely managed to find someone to give him an IV just to keep him going until the tube could be inserted. ("The doctor kept delaying it.") And today they tell me he's too weak to handle the gastric tube insertion. So they suggest leaving the nasal one and moving him to a Small town, USA, but tell me to "speak with the Doctor." I knew they wouldn't keep him in the hospital, but in a week they haven't performed any kind of tests; they just drew blood, gave him IVs and food, and promised to scan his lungs and heart, but nothing happened. No actual testing. I don't know if it spread or not. Why the fever? Does he have pneumonia? Has it reached his brain? I don't know, for the love of God, I just don't know... all I know is they want to ship him off to some Small town, USA. He's all I have, and I would sell both my kidneys just to get him one more year of life (They told him 2-5 years, but he won't even make it 6 months). He's 55. I need to vent, even if nobody reads this, and tomorrow I'm terrified I might actually gouge that doctor's eyes out if he mentions money. He's done nothing for him. He didn't even get chemo. 👎
God, if only you knew how many times I've recognized our situation. Unfortunately, you have to be rude, persistent, persistent, persistent, persistent, and then a little more persistent. You have to demand things from them and ask 100 times if necessary. I don't know if I've written about this before and I don't know if my experience will help, but we went through a literal Calvary in the hospitals, and unfortunately, I don't have a single positive experience to share. Don't let this discourage you, but you have to give it everything you've got—turn heaven and earth upside down—to make sure they help your dad. My dad also had high fevers several days in a row, and no one, for the love of God, knew why. Was it from lying down causing pneumonia? Was it this or that? We didn't get an answer for days while his temperature stayed constantly above 100.4, sometimes even over 102. "Well, you know, ma'am, that's just from his primary illness"—that was their constant excuse for everything, but it wasn't true. Finally, my mom caused a massive scene on the ward because nothing else was working. You have to stay polite with them, but if it isn't working, it isn't working...
I admit that during that period, we were all right on the edge of a nervous breakdown. We were probably a bit more sensitive than usual (actually, a lot more), so we had short fuses and snapped at every little thing, but I think that's normal. You're dealing with the person you love most in the world and you'd give anything for my only uncle, so of course the apathy, negligence, and lack of care drive me insane. At the end of the day, we are all fighting—or were fighting—for the lives of our loved ones.
Listen, honey, just go for it. You’re going to find a level of strength inside yourself you didn't even know existed. Do everything in your power—and I mean absolutely everything—for your dad. And remember one more time: never, ever give up. Just stay brave 🙂🙂
Regarding the wedding cake, we picked ours up from a bakery in Vegas, specifically in Indianapolis, and we couldn't have been happier. My mother has incredibly high standards when it comes to desserts—she absolutely detests store-bought pastries because they're usually just loaded with margarine and sugar and lack any real flavor. Honestly, I tend to agree with her most of the time; too often you buy a dessert only to realize it's nothing but artificial fats and gritty sugar. But at this place in Vegas, based on a recommendation, everything was a perfect 5 out of 5. They let you negotiate every single tiny detail, and we didn't even have to pay for the cake until after the wedding was over. As for the bite-sized treats, we ordered those from a woman who runs a private catering business out of her home. Same story: completely satisfied with both the quality and the price. If anyone needs specific details or contact info, just shoot me a DM.
Betty Sanchez82 said:I went to the doctor with my dad today to pick up his pathology report. He wouldn't even give it to us. Said he’d send it straight to the oncologist instead. Then he just drops this bombshell—that it isn't operable—and tells my dad to step outside while I stay in the office. As soon as my father walked out, this jerk just blurted out: "six months of therapy." ???????????????????? That's it? First off, I didn't even ask him that. Second, how can someone be that cold? My father is doing fine, aside from getting tired faster because of low iron levels. Six months???????????????????
The way doctors behave is appalling, though I'm not surprised at all. When my dad was sick, we never even asked questions like that because we believed until the very last second that he would recover. Up until the final few weeks, nobody gave us those kinds of prognoses. Then, when they suddenly started making those kinds of predictions on their own, I—forgive my language—lost it and gave that doctor a piece of my mind, acting like she knew exactly how much time was left and everything else... It was a disaster! This happened once more with a different doctor, and I reacted the exact same way. It never happened again. You bet! They think they know everything. I believe this has completely driven you crazy, but if you have time, read some of the posts on the previous pages. You'll see that many people beat the disease, and in so many cases, medical prognoses turned out to be wrong. It's true what Angela Wright wrote once about how they (doctors) try to play God by acting like they know exactly how long someone has left to live. How dare they! I know what the doctor told you felt like a bolt from the blue, but ignore it as much as you possibly can. Whatever you do, don't let this cause you, your dad, or your family to fight any less. Give it everything you've got and just stay brave!🙂
My deepest condolences to Alenka's family and friends.
slyseal28 said:We're bitter because not a single official agency has reached out. We're bitter because none of them even bothered to respond to our pleas. This is just one more tragic human story that truly could have ended differently if someone had simply done their job.
It’s hard for me because we live in a society that isn't stubborn or brave enough to fight for those who actually need help. This really could have been different.
Wake up, people. Get real! For everyone we've lost, and for everyone who is still here with us.
At this point, nothing in the healthcare system can surprise me anymore, and that fact alone is devastating. It means that I, and so many others, have become so accustomed to the absolute catastrophe of our medical system that we expect nothing but frustration, fighting, misunderstandings, and being brushed off.
I've written extensively about everything my own family went through and my views on the medical staff, so I won't repeat myself, but this is simply horrific and needs to be changed from the ground up. I only dropped the lawsuit against the department where my father was staying—and the hospital as a whole—because of my mother. I didn't want to exhaust her any further or force her to relive the trauma, so I wanted to protect her and make things easier for her. Given the state of the justice system, a lawsuit probably wouldn't have solved or changed anything anyway.
Reading stories like this leaves me feeling indescribably sad and angry...
Hannah Wells30 said:This is the diagnosis my friend’s husband received. His wife is in a coma, unresponsive—it all happened so fast... Surgery isn't an option, so they're looking at radiation and chemo..... Does anyone have experience with this disease? Any family stories? ANY INFO HELPS!
From what I understand, that's a very rare type of brain tumor. I can't offer specific advice or details since I don't know much about that particular kind, but try searching online; you should be able to find some helpful info.
darkmaker70;14354871..The absolute worst part is when doctors won't even look at patients or acknowledge them... it’s like they’re trying to tell you that you’re already written off and shouldn't even bother fighting. That is completely wrong said:
While my father was being treated, we ran into that exact kind of attitude from doctors and staff constantly. I once told someone they really shouldn't be dealing with our medical staff, and I still stand by that today. Sure, there are exceptions, but generally speaking, it's a disaster👎. When our whole family was at our lowest—miserable, desperate, terrified, and drowning in questions—the doctors and nurses just made things harder with their arrogance. They used rudeness and insolence to mask their own incompetence. They didn't track what was happening with my dad. The afternoon shift had no clue what happened in the morning, and vice versa. Everyone just acts surprised whenever you ask a question or, God forbid, actually demand something. During those last few months while Dad was in the hospital, I didn't meet a single person in the healthcare system who had any desire or enthusiasm to actually try anything. A total catastrophe!!! 😠😠 Let’s be clear: I wasn't looking for a shoulder to cry on or asking them to empathize with me. I just wanted answers to the medical questions I asked. Instead, it usually ended with aggressive retorts like "stay out of things that don't concern you," or "we know what we're doing," or "can't you see the situation he's in?" or "what more do you want?" One time, Mom finally had enough and snapped at them. After that, the nurses stopped rolling their eyes every time we asked a question.
People always drone on about how low healthcare salaries are, especially for nurses and all that... I couldn't care less!!!! I have a low salary too, but I have never—ever—been rude to the people I serve (and my job involves being around people non-stop). I always listen with a smile, no matter how fed up I am or how little I make.
For a long time, I seriously considered suing them for the mistakes they made.
Elizabeth Diaz60, please accept my deepest condolences for such a massive, irreplaceable loss. I truly get what you're going through because I went through the exact same thing just two weeks ago, and now I'm stuck learning how to navigate a world where he's just gone. Still, my dad, your mom, and everyone else who's moved on to a better place will continue to live through us every single day.
When I dwell on everything that happened, I feel the sadness, but the moment I start thinking about him—about my dad and the kind of man he was—I immediately feel lighter. A smile actually comes back to my face because his character and everything we shared bring it right back. I believe the same will happen for you.
I am incredibly grateful that I had the amazing gift of spending those last few months with my dad, just having that time for ourselves. You should be grateful for that, too. What I'll say is this: it would be a beautiful thing if everyone in this world had the chance and the grace to say goodbye to their loved ones the way I was able to, the way you were, and the way others here have been. We really should be thankful for that. Just stay strong and keep moving forward.
One more thing... I used to believe there was a reason for everything in life, but I honestly can't find any logic behind all of this. Maybe it doesn't even matter now. If you're asking if I'm bitter, sad, or angry—yes, I am. But if you ask if I'm at peace? Also yes. I was lucky enough to grow up in a family where love was always expressed, and I'm incredibly grateful to God for that. Knowing my parents loved me and that I loved them back is what matters most. When I think about it, maybe the true measure of a life isn't whether you live to be 50, 70, or 90 years old, but how much love you receive from those closest to you.
If anyone needs advice, help, or anything else, reach out. I still intend to fight against these monsters.
To everyone here, THANK YOU for all the condolences and support you've shown me.... I don't even know where to start. I still can't quite wrap my head around everything that happened. I'm trying to process it, but I'm just struggling to navigate this incredibly heavy, painful new reality.. I miss my dad... I miss him so much. My whole family feels his absence, and I just can't accept that this is our new normal.. His condition started taking a turn for the worse exactly a week ago. Last Wednesday things shifted, they got worse on Thursday, and then on Friday.... Please forgive me if some of this feels out of place for this thread, but I just need to share this with you all....
I was right there with Dad when he took his last breath. Even though that moment keeps playing on loop in my mind, I’m grateful he wasn't alone. He was waiting for me. Just two minutes before that happened, I was actually convinced this was just a bad patch—that he’d feel better after some rest and sleep. I truly believed that.... By pure chance, I spent so much time with him over these last few months. There isn't a single thing we haven't said to one another. I feel a sense of peace knowing he always knew how much we loved him, and that we would move mountains for him if we had to. My dad died young, at only 48, but I guess life doesn't follow any rules. You rarely see that kind of courage and optimism in people. I'll admit, I used to complain about the small stuff and make mountains out of molehills, but it takes a situation like this to realize what a real problem actually is. My dad? Whenever anyone asked how he was doing, he’d just say he was doing great and wasn't in pain. He knew how to appreciate the little things and truly live life. I learned so much from him; both he and Mom are my ultimate role models. Honestly, it's hard to even write this. My mind is spinning and my head feels heavy. It's just a total whirlwind of emotions inside me.... But if there's one thing I want to tell everyone, it's that you should never give up. Even now, I refuse to stop fighting. Both alternative and conventional medicine helped us, and you really have to arm yourself with knowledge to fight an enemy that *can* be defeated. My dad never let his spirit break, and maybe that's the most important part of all. And no one—absolutely no one—can be reduced to a statistic. No data point can capture how much love those people received. Maybe I'm being naive, but I deeply believe that love, attention, and care from your family are just as vital as surgery, radiation, or chemo. I also want to thank my husband. He has been my rock through all of this, pushing me forward when I can't move myself.
slyseal28 said:Yesterday we had a follow-up CT scan on the chest, abdomen, and pelvis. The results are a disaster. That damn cancer is back in full force... in three different spots...
I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. Just know that you have to keep fighting, and I pray God gives you all the strength you need to get through this fight... It breaks my heart every single time I read bad news like this. It just makes me so sad.
I don't even have the energy to write much because I'm emotionally drained and running on empty. My dad is doing poorly—really, really poorly—and I feel completely hollow and desperate. He won't wake up, his breathing is labored... it's bad. And I'm struggling, too.
Amanda Miller69, my deepest condolences. I truly believed your mother would be with you for a long time, so reading this was a massive shock... May God give you all strength and watch over you.
Amanda Miller69, , I’m right there with you. I agree with everything fighter girl said—it’s wrong to bury someone while they're still breathing. I know this isn't easy for you, and honestly, it's not easy for anyone here. In fact, I know it's damn hard for you, and even if you fled to Mars or tried to crawl out of your own skin, nobody can tell you how much longer your mom has left. Go to her. Be there (regardless of her saying she doesn't want you there), talk to her. It’ll help you, and it’ll help her too. My dad is going through a brutal time, though I struggle to admit how bad it is to myself, and I do it very slowly. He's wasting away right before our eyes; he looks terrible and just can't talk to us... he simply can't. But I refuse to obsess over what happens tomorrow, next week, or six months from now. I'm just driving myself crazy, and panicking like this doesn't do a single thing to help him. Hang in there, everyone.
It’s painful reading through all these terrible updates... I truly empathize with everything you're going through—all those heavy emotions and the heartache involved. My dad isn't doing great either, but I try to tell myself this is just a phase, like the ones he's had before, and that things will improve eventually.. Amanda Miller69, don't let the prognoses get to you. Try to ignore them as much as possible; they can be so counterproductive you might not even realize it. You can't give up because of your mom—she's still here and she needs you!
When we visit my dad, we talk about the usual everyday stuff (even if he doesn't say much back to us lately, which happens more often). We joke around, tickle him, and my brother will even lie down in the hospital bed next to him just to chat about anything and everything. Even though we're all adults now, we've always been close like that. We just act like we're hanging out in our own living room, talking and joking around... I constantly tell him he's the most loved man in the world, and we're affectionate with him. It makes us feel better, and we make sure to pass nothing but positive energy his way. Of course, we aren't delusional. We aren't ignoring the reality or the facts. But within that reality, we've decided that this is how we fight the illness—by supporting Dad this way to help him recover. Obviously, it’s incredibly hard sometimes. There are moments when I don't just want to scream from the frustration, but I want to tear everything apart. But I don't have a choice—for my dad's sake, I can't let go or give up. I have to fight right alongside him.
Goleo, Nipril66, Sandra Evans13, Felix and everyone else, thanks for the support 🙂🙂. It’s tough being in our situation, and I don't need the extra weight of broken family dynamics or relationships that haven't worked for years. I'm becoming immune to all of it. These days, I just say what I think. I used to sugarcoat things just to avoid hurting people, but honestly, who cares what they think of me? Who's actually looking out for my feelings or my family's? Anyway, I won't dwell on it; it's just a waste of breath and energy on things that don't matter..
Now that Dad has been in the hospital for 14 days and we've been spending a lot of time there, I'm seeing a lot of things. It makes me realize that psychological support for patients should be mandatory!!! When someone is stuck in bed for ten days with something "minor," like a bad flu, they get sensitive and irritable. Imagine how much harder it is with serious illnesses where you're constantly facing fear and uncertainty. People don't just need a kind word or a smile; they need professional help to cope. I often see people's mental state or their physical appearance—or both—change drastically, and it's shocking. It seems so hard for people to accept, and yet nobody tells them how to handle it...
As for our healthcare system, I don't have anything nice to say. Too many things are broken..👎I won't even list them because my blood pressure spikes just thinking about it, but things need to change immediately. They really do. Regarding medical leave, I wasn't able to secure any for Dad either.
Has anyone here dealt with facial twitching due to brain tumors? What should I expect? For the last two or three days, the left side of his face has been twitching several times a day...
Sending love to everyone, stay strong.🙂
Yes, we went through that, and it was actually the start of Dad's decline. It began with the face—just once every few days at first, then more frequently, sometimes multiple times a day. After that, the entire left side started seizing up... If you want, I can send you details via DM.
My dear friends, I’ve spiraled into a bit of a dark headspace lately. I almost didn't post because I didn't want to bring everyone else down with my heavy thoughts, but there are a few things I need to get off my chest... My dad is currently undergoing radiation, and honestly, he hasn't been doing great the last few days. Still, I'm holding onto hope that once the radiation is finished, we'll see that the therapy actually worked and helped him enough to turn things around. He also had chemo yesterday, and I think the combination is just absolutely draining his system. That's likely why he's struggling right now.
I was reading some of Ivanna's posts where she mentioned how her mother's illness acted like a filter for the people in her life, and I couldn't agree more. It makes me want to stop and thank God every single day for my family. We look out for one another, we care, and we love. I'm so grateful for my mom and my brother—they help me stay sane, and I do my best for them too. I'm thankful for my husband, who is incredibly understanding; I don't know if I could show him this much patience, love, or attention if the roles were reversed. He looks at me with the same devotion whether I'm happy or when I'm completely broken, desperate, and miserable. I'm grateful for my godmother, who takes me for walks, makes me laugh, encourages me, and gives me a hug exactly when I need it without me even asking. She's always right there. And then there are my small circle of true, loving friends who are available any day or night, and this thread, where I find endless empathy and support. Looking at it all written out like that—who else do you really need? It's true. I don't need anyone or anything else, aside from my dad getting healthy, obviously. But I'm only human, and certain things just hit hard. It's impossible to stay indifferent to it all. I'm mainly thinking about certain people in our extended family circles who haven't bothered to call and check on my mom in months. Or the people who finally call, but don't even bother to ask how my dad is doing. Or those who call after a massive gap just to lecture my mom on what she "should" be doing. Then there are the people you run into in town who act all curious and concerned, yet they never actually call or visit. Or the ones telling my mom she needs to reach out to certain relatives and fix long-broken family ties, etc., etc., etc. The more I dwell on it, the sadder I feel... Best to everyone.
My dear friends, I’ve fallen into this dark headspace lately. Part of me feels like I shouldn't even post these thoughts here because I don't want to bring anyone else down, but there are a few things I need to get off my chest... My dad is undergoing radiation right now, and honestly, he hasn't been doing great the last few days. Still, I have faith that once the radiation is finished, we'll see that the therapy actually worked and helped him enough to turn things around. He also had chemo yesterday, and I think all of this combined just absolutely drains the body, which explains why he’s struggling so much lately.
I was reading some of Ivanna's posts where she mentioned how her mother's illness acted as a filter for the people in her life, and I couldn't agree more. It makes me want to say how much I thank God every single day for my family. We look out for one another, we care, and we love. I'm grateful for my mom and my brother who help me, and for me being able to help them so we can all stay somewhat sane. I'm grateful for my husband, who is so understanding of everything I'm going through—I don't know if I would have half his patience, love, or attention if the roles were reversed. He looks at me with that same devotion whether I'm happy or when I'm feeling miserable, pathetic, and desperate. I'm thankful for my godmother, who takes me for walks, makes me laugh, encourages me, and gives me a hug without me even asking; she's always right there. And I'm thankful for my small circle of truly loving friends who are available any day or night, and for this thread where I find endless empathy and support. Looking at it all written out like that—who else do you really need? It's true. I don't need anyone or anything else, besides of course my dad getting better. But I'm human, and certain things just get to me. It's hard to stay indifferent. I'm mostly thinking about certain people within our extended family circles who haven't called to ask my mom how she is in months. People who call but don't even bother to ask about my dad. People who finally reach out after ages just to lecture my mom on what she should or shouldn't be doing. People we run into in town who act all curious and concerned, yet never actually call or visit. Or people who tell my mom she needs to reach out to certain relatives and try to mend long-broken family ties, etc., etc., etc. The more I dwell on it, the sadder I feel... Regards to everyone.