12 posts shown.
ruggedfalcon95 said:I’ve been scratching my head over one specific thing regarding student loans.
If someone takes out a loan to study abroad, finishes their degree, and then lands a great job overseas and decides they don't want to pay it back, how does the bank actually collect? Since they can't exactly go after someone's bank account in another country, I'm curious how that works in practice.
🤷
Well, there’s always a co-signer standing in the line of fire to pay it off, or maybe they’ll lean on some kind of credit insurance 🤷 ...don't worry, those institutions make sure they're covered no matter what. 😉
Just a quick heads-up regarding the loan process...
If you’re bringing on a co-signer—meaning you aren't working or don't meet the credit requirements yourself—the bank looks at their income through a specific lens. They basically factor in $3,000 plus some extra buffer because that co-signer has to cover their own living expenses while also being on the hook for yours. So, we're talking about $6,000 plus a cushion just to account for their cost of living. Then, they subtract any existing obligations on that account, like other loans or people guaranteeing their debt, and whatever is left over becomes their actual credit capacity.
Hopefully, that clears things up.
Carol Ramirez23 said:Well obviously, why would you care who was scheduled when? You aren't crazy enough to sit there in a waiting room surrounded by people with colds and various illnesses... personally, if I truly can't wait and I'm not certain if I have priority, I'll just go up and mention that I'm pregnant and ask if that gives me any preference. But honestly, the older gentlemen at Walmart are the best; okay, they don't necessarily have to let me cut the line, but they certainly won't push past me when a new register opens up! It's quite a sprint! They probably realize that you're young, while for them, every single day could be their last.😂
Probably 🤣
I don't get their shoving matches either 🤷
cosmicpanther71 said:Well, I suppose that makes sense; it seems like everyone is pregnant these days.🤣
I was there maybe two weeks ago. I expected a huge crowd, but it was just me and one other woman. I didn't even have time to find parking at Target before I was already done.
It’s summer, so maybe they aren't scheduling many surgeries right now... but when I went, about two months back, the place was packed. There was zero system in place, and there were at least ten of us just sitting in the waiting room.
Okay, it actually moved pretty fast... those people are clearly pros at what they do. There were maybe five pregnant women total; everyone else was older, in for different procedures...
Look, I don't think I was trying to cut the line or anything. I wasn't even that far along, but there were two others who were much further along than me and they didn't get any special treatment either. 🙄
Carol Ramirez23 said:Where were you going for blood work that they wouldn't prioritize you? Every time I walk into a hospital or a lab and mention that I'm pregnant, they call me back immediately!🤷
Back in Chicago, if you're at a blood bank waiting to test your type... you wait. No shortcuts, no VIP treatment, nothing. Just pure waiting in line.
But then there was this one day during a checkup... I'm sitting there for forty minutes, listening to other women being called in way before me, and they haven't even shown up yet. I have no clue what the protocol is here—do I speak up or just sit there like an idiot until they call my name? Finally, some lady tells me to go talk to the nurse. So I walk up to the door, say "Excuse me," and the nurse just glances down at my stomach. Pregnant. Suddenly, everything is magically sorted out.🤣
Lately, my relatives have been driving me absolutely crazy. It's those people who act like they’re morally obligated to buy a mountain of baby gear. Personally, I don't expect a single thing from anyone.
Now the interrogation has started: "What do you need?" And I tell them, "Nothing. We've had everything we need bought for ages." And then comes the guilt trip: "Oh my goodness, you're so prepared! You didn't leave us anything to buy! What are we supposed to do now?!"🙂
☕Yeah, maybe I should have waited two weeks before checking in so someone would actually ask what I needed. If I had, I probably wouldn't have had any of this stuff ready to go by now.
I don't go around expecting people to just step aside for me... I find myself stuck in line at the grocery store every single time... and I'm nine months pregnant, for crying out loud.
I was at a Target recently, and they have those registers specifically designated for people with disabilities. Since there wasn't anyone using it, but the other lines were packed, I walked up to the cashier and asked if I could use that lane since it was for accessibility. The cashier looked absolutely thrilled—she said it was actually the first time anyone had bothered to ask permission. She told me, "Of course you can, honey, you're welcome to use it anytime." 😍
It makes you think. You show up to an American hospital for a blood draw or a transfusion while you're pregnant, and suddenly you don't have any special priority? If you can't expect a little grace in a hospital, what can you realistically expect at the supermarket? 🤷
The only thing I've noticed lately is how cars keep pulling up onto the sidewalk to block people. It’s definitely not the norm around here, but it happens.
Then there was this one moment at the beach. A little boy let me use the changing stall before him. And get this—there was a girl already inside, and outside there were three of us: a woman, the boy, and me. This woman starts hovering, acting all impatient, trying to rush the girl inside to see if she was done yet. 🙂 Then, out of nowhere, the boy tells her, "No, the lady goes first." 😍 I was honestly stunned. I just wanted to give that kid a huge hug. What a wonderful little soul—he couldn't have been more than twelve years old. 😍
Nancy Stewart38 said:Honestly, she doesn't even remember when my last checkup was—we basically have to hand her the test results ourselves just so she can take a look. She hasn't even laid a finger on my stomach once. All she does is constantly harp on about how, if Bob wills it, everything will turn out fine 🙂—and then there's the endless pressure to eat, acting like I’m going to send her some barley porridge or something instead 😂
. At this point, I know better than to count on her for anything—whether it's now or when things get really difficult down the road. Everyone looks out for themselves 🤷
Mine is exactly the same...😉
but I barely see or hear from her. Since I've been pregnant, I've only seen her four times total... and she lives just a five-minute drive away.
After taking my own lumps and watching everyone else stumble through the same mistakes... we really shouldn't let ourselves become those nightmare mothers-in-law, the kind who try to micromanage and suffocate their kids' lives.
My dad actually told me straight up that if I ever acted that way toward my own children—or their spouses down the road—I’d be looking at a broken relationship and some seriously fractured bones.🤣
Amy Nelson132 said:Henry Cooper4 -🙂 I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, I'm almost jealous of women who actually have a decent—or even just okay—relationship with their mothers-in-law. I can't even say I have one, and she's still alive... we've never met, there's zero contact, and it breaks my heart that my kid probably won't ever know their grandma 😢
I think I remember reading your story about your mother-in-law on the forums... it was heavy. 🙂
It’s honestly tragic that things like this even happen. 😢
Whenever my family asks me about her, I just shut it down. "Don't ask," I tell them. "I don't have a mother-in-law." 😢
But at the end of the day, you just have to accept reality. You're building your own family now, just like we did. Anyone who wants to be part of our lives is welcome, but if they choose to stay away? That's their loss. Maybe one day they'll finally realize what they've missed out on. 🤷
Christian Newman85 said:1. It honestly caught me off guard how rude and condescending some older folks can be, especially certain old guys... one dude on the bus actually had the nerve to tell me I was basically asking for it since I'm pregnant 😁
2. And then there's how some shops just completely ignore their "priority seating" or pregnancy policies, even when it's clearly posted right there...
3. On the flip side, I've been so impressed by how polite the younger crowd has been lately—on the street, in the grocery store, even on the subway...
4. It’s also funny how much more considerate some men are being compared to certain ladies out there...
Tell me about it... people actually stop their cars for me at crosswalks 🙂 I'm not used to it, so I end up looking totally stunned and over-thanking them every single time 🙂
I guess it’s my turn to weigh in on the mother-in-law topic...
We Americans can be such strange creatures. Take me, for example—it actually eats at me that I have zero contact with my mother-in-law. My husband and I have been together for five years, and we’ve been married for a year and a half.
Honestly, I envy you guys, even if yours are total witches!
Don't get me wrong, I know exactly what it's like to deal with a CRAZY mother-in-law (my own mom). My grandma never really accepted her because she felt like she "stole" her only son. She plays the part of being obsessed with her, but you can see how she constantly looks for any excuse to take a dig at her. It was always a competition. She used to tell me all this stuff about how my mom was this or that, and I was just a kid, so one day at a family BBQ, I straight-up asked my grandma why she didn't like my mom. At the start of their marriage, she pulled all these stunts just to drive them apart until my dad finally realized what was happening, packed us up, and moved us far away from them. I’ve told my mom a hundred times that I wouldn't have tolerated it, and if it weren't for Dad, I wouldn't even know his parents today—but Mom is the reason I still know and love my crazy grandma. My mom always says, "Well, what can you do? She's mom to your dad and your grandma to you."
As for my husband’s mom, we don't talk. It's not that she's a bad person, per se; we just don't see eye-to-eye on fundamental life stuff. She plays the martyr and caters entirely to her parents and sisters. Everything revolves around her whims. She never truly grew up; she never stood up to her parents, and she suppressed her own kids just to keep her mom and dad happy. She never prioritized the needs of her children or her husband over her parents and siblings... and now, apparently, her nephews! When my husband realized he wanted a life of his own, he walked away from that dynamic and we got married. Her parents took it hard; they had envisioned their grandson living with them and taking care of them. And the second anyone questions her parents? Boom. Total meltdown. They just couldn't accept that we wanted our own lives, separate from them. They said some pretty nasty things to him, insulted him, and that was the end of the communication. Now, we show up for the holidays, we talk about the weather, and that's it. My mother-in-law once told him, you chose this, so I won't interfere in your life and she takes that literally. It makes me feel incredibly sad and lonely. I envy those of you who have at least *some* kind of connection... I have nothing.
She showed up when she found out I was pregnant, and she’ll probably show up again because it’s my birthday these days. She just goes through the motions. It's "duty calls," it's "it's the right thing to do," it's "protocol." Not to mention, last year she didn't even bother with my birthday—not a card, not a text, not a call. The only reason she’s showing interest now is because of the pregnancy. There is no deep bond, just someone going through the motions 😢 superficially, painfully superficially... and it’s so hollow because you don't feel any sense of belonging or connection. Every time she's supposed to visit us, or we go to them, I get anxious. My blood pressure spikes, my heart races, my stomach knots up. 😢 I want everything to be okay, mostly for my husband's sake, because it breaks my heart that he can't find common ground with his mother. But I can't intervene because I don't feel important enough in her life for her to listen to me or even hear me. To her, I am just her son's wife. Once, we actually tried to sit down and talk through our issues (two days before a big family dinner), and it ended in such a massive blowout that I burst into tears and fled the house as fast as my legs could carry me. So now, I just stick to talking about the weather. 😢
Sorry for the novel, and I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I just wanted to say that I would actually prefer a mother-in-law who is involved in my life, even if she's a nagging little witch. 😢 I'd rather we openly know if we love or hate each other, as long as we can tolerate one another for my husband's sake and for our future children. This total ignorance... 😢 I think that's the worst part. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and I should be grateful I don't have her breathing down my neck, but this doesn't satisfy me. It honestly makes me want to cry.😢