Posts by wiredcrane11

Hannah White2 said:Everyone’s got an opinion on everything—that’s just how our brains are wired from day one. Honestly, if you dig deep enough, any psychotherapist is going to bleed their own biases and perspectives into the session through unconscious cues, whether they mean to or not. I was spiraling a bit earlier, just thinking out loud about whether a therapist being gay actually matters that much in the grand scheme of things. Personally? I care way more about their moral compass and those core spiritual values they actually live by, regardless of who they're attracted to. That’s the stuff that drives the sessions. Though, I'll admit, when it comes to getting into the nitty-gritty of my own intimate life, I’d probably find it a lot easier to open up to a gay male therapist.

It takes years of rigorous training for an American psychotherapist to learn how to steer clear of that particular pitfall.😉

At first glance, it might look like you weren't the one calling the shots, but you actually were because the choice between taking action and doing nothing rests entirely on your shoulders, and lately it seems you have been leaning toward staying still. My advice is to view life through that lens and just decide one small step at a time since there is really no point in stressing over the distant future when it remains so unpredictable. Try to focus on the little things that bring you joy, even if they are just slight improvements over the alternative, and definitely pay attention to your dreams because they act as messengers from that wiser part of our soul.

I think I might have misspoke when I mentioned "those specific attributes," because what I actually meant was all the various qualities and traits that can lead someone to fall in love, just so we are all on the same page here.😉

wiredbear2 said:Oh, don't you worry, I know exactly what to expect when it comes to Facebook 😉
But the idea that I need to flee from this thing? Honestly, I doubt some trendy, high-society French hipster is going to shift my perspective on love, no matter how charming the prose might be... 😍
Still, I suppose I'd recommend it to the brave souls out there—those with rock-solid life philosophies who refuse to believe some fictionalized nonsense claiming that love only lasts for three years... 🙂

This isn't actually a discussion about true love, it's just about the initial rush of being infatuated.😉

hiddenhound3 said:Well, I suppose... if memory serves, he used to link those anima/animus archetypes directly back to our parents. Specifically, Jung noted that he recognized his own anima in a woman who possessed a neck and hair remarkably similar to his mother's. It follows, then, that we inevitably recognize something familiar from our past experiences when we fall in love with someone else.

I believe it is vital to understand how we all essentially reflect one another; when we fall for another person, we are, in truth, falling for ourselves and the collection of memories we carry.

Perhaps I am being a bit too romantic about the whole thing, but that is simply my perspective.

I have been in love for a year now, and I see no end in sight.😍 In fact, everything just feels more intense.😁

Or perhaps we are just falling for the best version of ourselves that the other person manages to bring out. Sometimes we do this to ourselves without even realizing it, and then we end up feeling totally let down by our partners once those illusions finally fade away. (That happened to a close friend of mine)

Sure, but we’ll always be something different 😉

There isn't really one definitive answer to this, but I think it's worth having a little discussion about it🙂
For instance, I remember watching a TV special a year or two ago—I can't recall the exact title—where they discussed oxytocin. It’s that hormone our brains release when we fall in love, providing us with the kind of energy that, given the right circumstances, drives us to build a family. People often refer to it as the loyalty hormone.🙂It also gets released during breastfeeding because there are direct neural pathways from the breast to the brain where oxytocin is produced. That explains why mothers feel such an intense bond with their babies and why they light up so much just seeing a baby smile.😁In that same program, they mentioned that the initial phase of being "in love" typically lasts about three years. After that point, other factors take over, and if a marriage survives, it means either that the infatuation successfully transitioned into deep love, or the couple found a different common ground, such as financial stability, raising children, or perhaps even complementary psychological dynamics like BDSM.😁

Well, that is one way to look at it. Another perspective comes from Jung's theories regarding the projection of the anima or animus onto a partner. Once those projections fade, that blissful intoxication tapers off because you finally start seeing the person for who they truly are. The outcome follows the same logic as the previous paragraph.🙂

If you have recently read anything by other psychologists or authors regarding the nature of falling in love, please share... or just tell me about your own experiences.🙂

You know, there was a time before we had TVs or computers, and in many households, there weren't even any books besides the Bible. When you spend every single day reading just a little bit and having those deep discussions with everyone at home, you really start to grasp Jesus's language. It's truly such a profound way to live.🙂

Roger King4 said:Take the log out of your own eye first, then try facing yourself and actually living. In a broader sense, if you refuse to confront who you really are, you’ll never grasp the "truth" and you're just wandering aimlessly through life. Projection is one of those convenient escape hatches people use to run away from reality.

Projection is unconscious; it stems directly from the subconscious and everything we've repressed. Now, politicians? They attribute all sorts of things to their opponents, but they know damn well it isn't true—they're doing it for their own gain. Because of that, I don't think their little fabrications even qualify as projection.

In my view, there's a specific type of projection where a person hates certain traits in someone else, finds them disgusting, or accuses them of possessing qualities that the person actually holds themselves but has buried deep down and refuses to acknowledge. Then, in a wider sense, projection would be insisting that someone possesses traits they don't actually have at all, regardless of the facts, driven by a purely neurotic compulsion.
For example: Someone could be in a complete downward spiral due to childhood trauma, feeling like their entire life is a total wreck. Instead of facing the actual problem, they feel the need to justify that misery, so they project it onto the state of the country. They spend all day ranting about politics... claiming everyone else is to blame while maintaining this delusion that they are perfectly normal and healthy.

Well, nobody ever actually said that.😉 I simply mentioned that politicians take this phenomenon, which is a universal human trait, and exploit it for manipulative purposes.

I'm on the same page here🙂 (referring to what Roger King4 said)

I also have a feeling that when Jesus spoke about removing the plank from your own eye, he was actually referring to a psychological projection.🙂

David Morales: I think that's definitely possible.

boldjackal5 said:It doesn't really sound like you think this is such a rare occurrence, I guess. 😉 Just a regular post on the forum, I guess.

I guess I'm a little confused about how "projection is the only way to communicate" could actually be true? Maybe there's something I'm missing.

A wise gentleman once mentioned this to me—you know the one I mean—and he suggested that if one is aware of their projection, it becomes a sort of "bonding." I guess you could say that empathy itself is just another form of projection, maybe.
I guess communication might not even be interesting without a little "noise in the channel." Maybe that's what makes it worth having in the first place.

If I were to say, "Look at that blue flower," and you responded by saying, "That blue color is quite lovely," I suppose one might wonder where the projection lies in that interaction.

I'm not quite sure what the issue would be here... I guess I don't really understand what you're aiming for.

Unfortunately, I don't know which gentleman you're referring to, and I'm not quite sure what you mean by "bonding."

Here is a definition from a Jungian website:

Projection
The process where an individual takes elements from their inner world—specifically unconscious qualities or traits, whether they are positive or negative—and projects them onto other people or objects. Because this is an unconscious process, these displaced and projected contents are perceived as being genuine characteristics of the persons or objects onto which they have been transferred. Projecting the anima or animus onto a real man or woman is most commonly experienced as falling in love.

Where exactly did I post that question about seeing projections across the entire forum? 🙂 How can anyone claim that "projection is the only way to communicate"? If I were to point at a blue flower and you simply remarked on how lovely the blue shade is, there wouldn't be any projection involved at all.

boldjackal5 said:I suppose they will just stay unconscious. I guess people can't really be aware of everything, honestly.
If you are experiencing this personally, how can you be certain that what you observe in others is actually happening the way you perceive it? I suppose there might be some projection involved, though I don't think it happens all that frequently, even here on the forum. People tend to respond based on their immediate moods, so I guess we shouldn't expect perfectly ideal communication.

I suppose I was saying that true communication might be impossible without some level of projection; perhaps all interaction is just a form of projecting our own views. I guess the most important thing is simply being conscious of it.

I didn't really intend to frame the topic as "this is what's bothering me," I guess I just said it that way? 🙂

This is such an interesting topic. I guess withdrawing one's projections and actually recognizing them could be seen as the beginning of true clarity—realizing that "this is me" versus "this is reality." It feels like moving away from living entirely inside your own head and finally starting to live in the real world.

Well, that's just how it goes, I guess. 👍
In reality, there probably aren't that many projections happening. It might just feel like more if one happens to be projecting. Then, of course, they are... Maybe everyone else is just a little bit crazy. 🤣

But you did write:

boldjackal5 said:I suppose they will just stay unconscious. I guess people can't really be aware of everything, honestly.
If you are experiencing this personally, how can you be certain that what you observe in others is actually happening the way you perceive it? I suppose there might be some projection involved, though I don't think it happens all that frequently, even here on the forum. People tend to respond based on their immediate moods, so I guess we shouldn't expect perfectly ideal communication.

I suppose I was saying that true communication might be impossible without some level of projection; perhaps all interaction is just a form of projecting our own views. I guess the most important thing is simply being conscious of it.

I didn't really intend to frame the topic as "this is what's bothering me," I guess I just said it that way? 🙂

This is such an interesting topic. I guess withdrawing one's projections and actually recognizing them could be seen as the beginning of true clarity—realizing that "this is me" versus "this is reality." It feels like moving away from living entirely inside your own head and finally starting to live in the real world.

Well, that's just how it goes, I guess. 👍
In reality, there probably aren't that many projections happening. It might just feel like more if one happens to be projecting. Then, of course, they are... Maybe everyone else is just a little bit crazy. 🤣

I honestly wonder how you could possibly know what is going on inside my head, which is exactly why I phrased it that way. It seems to me that projection is happening on both our sides, which is just typical for an online forum.🙂 And it isn't just limited to forums.🙂

This is actually one of the milder versions of the phenomenon, as there are many truly tragic ways it manifests. You only have to look at politicians, who constantly exploit this during brainwashing sessions by telling people, "We are the greatest nation, while those other people over there are the worst, just look at what they've done," and so on. They certainly know how to package it. A classic example is how the Nazis used posters to depict Jewish people with rat-like features. There are countless examples like that out there.

Also, I'm curious how projection can be conscious, since you mentioned that earlier; typically, at the moment it occurs, it is unconscious, otherwise it wouldn't be happening at all. It might only seem conscious because we occasionally realize very quickly that something doesn't feel quite right.

I didn't really post this to ask for help or vent about specific problems, but rather to open up a conversation about this phenomenon because it's something many people aren't even aware of, even though it happens to everyone.

Jason Sanchez3 said:I didn't misunderstand at all, I was just clarifying what he meant

So does that include finding a soulmate🤣?

😂

Haha, okay, fine. I'll just go hide in my room, skip lunch and dinner, and obviously I won't die because it's not my time yet—instead, I'll just wait for my millions, a spouse, and two kids to show up exactly like it's written in my stars. 😂

You might want to look into the whole internal vs. external locus of control thing. It's interesting stuff.

Could you clarify what that actually means?

On another note, I highly recommend checking out this book on spiritual intelligence since it seems like something that might be helpful for you😉 http://www.4shared.com/file/33271587...ligencija.html

According to Wikipedia: projection is a defense mechanism where the unconscious part of the ego takes over, attributing internal impulses and feelings that the conscious personality finds unacceptable to an external object, which then enters awareness as a distorted perception of the outside world. While this mechanism is characteristic of psychotic states, projection frequently shows up in normal everyday life and within neuroses too.

Do you actually recognize when you're projecting? To borrow some terminology from Jung's work, a person encounters their Shadow during the process of individuation—which is basically all those negative traits tucked away in our own personalities. Facing your Shadow is always a painful experience, and projection serves as one of the primary ways we defend ourselves against it. For example, if you absolutely hate it when someone compares you to a parent of the same gender, maybe you just aren't ready to admit that you actually share some of those same qualities? Instead of seeing that comparison as a nudge toward self-improvement, you experience it strictly as an insult. Taking those projections back into yourself is a true sign of maturity and a perfectly natural step on the path of individuation, though unfortunately, some people stay stuck at that defensive stage forever.😢

Another classic case is projection on internet forums, something anyone who has spent a decent amount of time in online communities will recognize immediately. You’ll write a post, and someone will respond by essentially "putting words in your mouth," claiming you meant something that never even crossed your mind. Of course, that content is actually originating from their own psyche. It's often something they can't face themselves, so they operate under the assumption that "everyone thinks just like them," all while having absolutely no clue what they're doing or that they're engaging in projection.