Does a therapist's sexual orientation matter?

How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

How would you even find out what their orientation is in the first place?

No,
honestly, I don't think it would even matter to me. As long as they're a solid therapist who actually knows how to help, that’s all that counts, right?

But there is something else on my mind—do you think someone could run into issues because of their orientation? Like, being told they aren't "fit" for the profession or some other nonsense?
For me, it would be an issue in my own line of work if people knew I was bi, mostly because I deal with enough judgmental types as it is.
I have to watch everything I do. I actually stopped writing my blog altogether; I'm constantly filtering what I say and how I act, just to stay under the radar.

Hmm... looking back at this now, I realize I sound pretty ridiculous... 🙄

redharbor9 said:How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

Honestly, not even a little bit... if someone is professional and does a great job, I really don't care who they head home to at the end of the day...

Now I'm sitting here thinking and I can't recall a single good reason why this should be an issue 🤷, but I'm curious to hear what you guys think.. listening to 😉

I can't say I wouldn't give it some thought or draw my own conclusions. Honestly, I might even find myself questioning his advice from time to time. But that would likely just be at the start. Besides, that’s pretty much how I approach any information I learn about a psychiatrist; once I know something, I process it. So, I don't really see a functional difference between whether he's gay, married, or single.

Carl Ruiz4 said:How would you even find out what their orientation is in the first place?

No,
honestly, I don't think it would even matter to me. As long as they're a solid therapist who actually knows how to help, that’s all that counts, right?

But there is something else on my mind—do you think someone could run into issues because of their orientation? Like, being told they aren't "fit" for the profession or some other nonsense?
For me, it would be an issue in my own line of work if people knew I was bi, mostly because I deal with enough judgmental types as it is.
I have to watch everything I do. I actually stopped writing my blog altogether; I'm constantly filtering what I say and how I act, just to stay under the radar.

Hmm... looking back at this now, I realize I sound pretty ridiculous... 🙄

I don't know, man. In my experience, you just tell them someone recommended him as the absolute best person for the job. Tell them he's the go-to expert for this specific issue... and mention that he's gay, too.

Quincy:

I’m wondering about something else—do you think he’d run into issues where people claim he isn't "fit" for the job just because of his orientation?

I don't get this at all.

Quincy:

I'd have a massive problem if people knew I was bi. I’ve got way too many weirdos constantly judging my every move. I also have to watch my step now. I stopped blogging altogether. I’m being careful about what I say and everything. Man... reading this back, I sound like an idiot. 🙄

Yeah... you sound like it. 😍

redharbor9 said:I don't know, man. In my experience, you just tell them someone recommended him as the absolute best person for the job. Tell them he's the go-to expert for this specific issue... and mention that he's gay, too.

Quincy:

I’m wondering about something else—do you think he’d run into issues where people claim he isn't "fit" for the job just because of his orientation?

I don't get this at all.

Quincy:

I'd have a massive problem if people knew I was bi. I’ve got way too many weirdos constantly judging my every move. I also have to watch my step now. I stopped blogging altogether. I’m being careful about what I say and everything. Man... reading this back, I sound like an idiot. 🙄

Yeah... you sound like it. 😍

Unless you're actually looking for a boyfriend instead of a therapist,
I fail to see why that would matter or why anyone would feel the need to highlight it to you.... 🤷
I suppose it’s much easier to just ask him out for a drink than to play the role of a patient just to get close to him.

redharbor9 said:I don't know, man. In my experience, you just tell them someone recommended him as the absolute best person for the job. Tell them he's the go-to expert for this specific issue... and mention that he's gay, too.

Quincy:

I’m wondering about something else—do you think he’d run into issues where people claim he isn't "fit" for the job just because of his orientation?

I don't get this at all.

Quincy:

I'd have a massive problem if people knew I was bi. I’ve got way too many weirdos constantly judging my every move. I also have to watch my step now. I stopped blogging altogether. I’m being careful about what I say and everything. Man... reading this back, I sound like an idiot. 🙄

Yeah... you sound like it. 😍

Well, yes,
he'd be far more at risk of having his sexuality exposed if there were homophobes among his supervisors
than any of his actual patients would be.

redharbor9 said:I don't know, man. In my experience, you just tell them someone recommended him as the absolute best person for the job. Tell them he's the go-to expert for this specific issue... and mention that he's gay, too.

Quincy:

I’m wondering about something else—do you think he’d run into issues where people claim he isn't "fit" for the job just because of his orientation?

I don't get this at all.

Quincy:

I'd have a massive problem if people knew I was bi. I’ve got way too many weirdos constantly judging my every move. I also have to watch my step now. I stopped blogging altogether. I’m being careful about what I say and everything. Man... reading this back, I sound like an idiot. 🙄

Yeah... you sound like it. 😍

So, we're correcting our own behavior now? Fine. Let whatever happens, happen. 😍

Look, I’m not exactly out here hunting for a hookup... though, honestly, it really depends on what we're talking about...
..If I'm struggling with how I relate to women, it would probably be a lot easier if I could talk to someone who actually understands that world from the inside...
.I mean, if I'm sitting there on a date with a guy and feeling all shy and anxious because I'm actually gay, it’s tough. It's not that a straight woman couldn't give decent advice, but...
...or how a lesbian might be able to help me navigate my issues with men. It isn't impossible, obviously, but I just feel like I can trust someone more when they share that same perspective and orientation...

And honestly, things get way more complicated if I end up in therapy with some old-school, patriarchal psychologist when I don't subscribe to those traditional gender roles at all...

It's pretty clear that deep-seated beliefs about social roles are going to have a much bigger impact on how therapy goes than just someone's sexual orientation...

redharbor9 said:How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

Hmm... that is a difficult question.

Speaking from experience—it actually mattered to me when I saw that rainbow flag on my psychologist's desk. I have to admit, I wouldn't want my life being guided by someone who doesn't seem to understand boundaries. I am not just talking about sexual orientation, though LGBTQ+ individuals are often the ones advocating for freedom in every sense, even in areas where I feel they might cross into immorality.

That said, my psychologist was wonderful. She was professional, kind, and she never forced her own views or solutions on me. Instead, she allowed me the space to reach my own conclusions, which I believe is the true job of a therapist.

So... yeah.🙂

I'm guessing the flag is just there to show they're gay-friendly, like they have zero issues with it so the LGBTQ+ crowd feels welcome... that’s probably why those flags (and stickers) were being handed out at that psychology seminar in 🙂

James Allen6 said:Hmm... that is a difficult question.

Speaking from experience—it actually mattered to me when I saw that rainbow flag on my psychologist's desk. I have to admit, I wouldn't want my life being guided by someone who doesn't seem to understand boundaries. I am not just talking about sexual orientation, though LGBTQ+ individuals are often the ones advocating for freedom in every sense, even in areas where I feel they might cross into immorality.

That said, my psychologist was wonderful. She was professional, kind, and she never forced her own views or solutions on me. Instead, she allowed me the space to reach my own conclusions, which I believe is the true job of a therapist.

So... yeah.🙂

Nonsense.

There seems to be this lingering, rather silly prejudice that gay people somehow lack a moral compass, or that they’re just waiting for any excuse to cross some invisible line into immorality. It’s a strange way of looking at things, really. As if having a different sexual orientation somehow fundamentally alters one's ethical framework. I suppose it leads to the absurd assumption that a gay psychotherapist would offer entirely different advice than a straight one, simply because of who they are. It just doesn't hold up to much scrutiny, I guess.

redharbor9 said:I'm guessing the flag is just there to show they're gay-friendly, like they have zero issues with it so the LGBTQ+ crowd feels welcome... that’s probably why those flags (and stickers) were being handed out at that psychology seminar in 🙂

Well, that is what I was assuming too.🙂
Maybe it sounded like I was being anti-gay, but I am actually friendly toward everyone who is, in my opinion, a good and decent person, whether they are gay or straight.

If the topic were framed this way (though I suppose it wouldn't make much difference in the end), would it actually make sense to ask: how much does your doctor's sexual orientation really matter to you when they're treating you?

A psychotherapist shouldn't be sharing personal details with their clients—certainly nothing regarding their private life or their sexuality.
The whole point of therapy isn't about the therapist, so there's really no reason to talk about them. In fact, they aren't supposed to be handing out advice or pushing their own personal beliefs and values onto anyone.
At its core, psychotherapy isn't some form of counseling service, nor is it a religion.

redharbor9 said:How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

Look, if it works, I don't give a damn. Whether they're Muslim, gay, trans, schizophrenic, or whatever else—who cares?
So, it doesn't matter to me.😉

I believe the primary issue arises if any lingering sense of shame remains—which is often just a logical byproduct of being socially marginalized. It seems to me that individuals dealing with psychological struggles possess an incredibly heightened sensitivity to shame. They find it particularly difficult to endure, especially when facing a psychotherapist, from whom they naturally expect a blueprint for happiness, fulfillment, and emotional maturity.

In my view, this factor is actually far more significant than the specific set of beliefs a person brings to the table. 🤷

Carl Ruiz4 said:Unless you're actually looking for a boyfriend instead of a therapist,
I fail to see why that would matter or why anyone would feel the need to highlight it to you.... 🤷
I suppose it’s much easier to just ask him out for a drink than to play the role of a patient just to get close to him.

Well, yes,
he'd be far more at risk of having his sexuality exposed if there were homophobes among his supervisors
than any of his actual patients would be.

So, we're correcting our own behavior now? Fine. Let whatever happens, happen. 😍

The reason I even started this thread is because the whole thing happened in reverse 😍

One of my clients recommended me to someone looking for a therapist... and she went out of her way to make sure everyone knew I was gay... then she had the nerve to ask me if it was okay that she said that.😁

🤣🤣🤣

Maybe it’s because of that tired old trope you see in every mindless sitcom—you know, the one where a woman's best friend is always her gay sidekick. 😬

redharbor9, what kind of public statements are you even talking about? You’re going to hold the entire "Homosexuality is a Disease" thread against me? 🤣 😉

p.s. how did I just know 😍

@redharbor9,
By the way—if you happen to be into yaoi, I might have a few decent links for you. 😍

redharbor9, I just wanted to say that you’re 😍 to me.

I honestly don't see any harm—or any real benefit, for that matter—in her knowing about your orientation. When someone seeks out professional help, they are inherently focused on their own situation and their own hurdles; everything else is just peripheral noise that doesn't carry much weight. Besides, maintaining professionalism is paramount on your end, and I have every confidence that you’ve got that covered, so there really isn't an issue here.