Posts by Jonathan Morales2

jadedrifter19 said:First off, he has to actually want it. He needs to be able to look at himself and say, "Enough is enough; I want a new life."
Based on my experience dealing with a guy struggling with addiction, my current take is that once you're in that cycle, there’s no coming back. Maybe I'm wrong, and feel free to correct me if I am, but that’s just how I see it.

You're wrong—of course people can quit. It all comes down to finding that internal drive; relying on someone else's reasons isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to find a new passion or something to sink your teeth into to stay busy. And I'm with Taylor on the whole ultimatum/drug testing thing; it absolutely kills any romance left in the relationship. Sure, you can demand that as a parent, a sibling, or even just a close friend and expect the bond to survive the drama, but as a romantic partner? It's a mess. Expecting someone to change solely because they love you is completely unrealistic, and honestly, that goes for way more than just drug issues.

jadedrifter19 said:You’re right, Jonathan Morales2, but I was the fool who actually believed things would change.

Look, you were head over heels and you acted on instinct—that's just how it goes when you're caught up in it. Stop beating yourself up and just chalk it up to life experience. Honestly, reading your post, I get the sense you’re carrying this massive weight of guilt, thinking you pushed him further into his addiction the second you walked away. You need to stop doing that. You’re overestimating your influence here; his struggle isn't something you can control. In the grand scheme of things, walking away now was probably the cleanest, least painful break you could have made for yourself.

jadedrifter19 said:I spent a year with my boyfriend before I realized he was an addict. Looking back, there wasn't a single sign that anything was wrong.
I fell hard for him, and his family absolutely adored me. Even today, we stay in touch; both he and I work alongside his father in our family business.
When people at the firm found out we were dating, they were stunned. They couldn't wrap their heads around how a grounded, sensible woman like me could be with someone like him.
For a while, I actually managed to pull him away from that lifestyle. But eventually, things spiraled. He met some girl who was deep into drugs, and he ended up leaving me. In the end, the addiction was simply stronger than our relationship.
Word is they got engaged, she moved in with him, quit her job, and he took out massive loans—spiraling into debt, naturally, because of the habit. After he messed up at a lower-level position at the company, they sent him away. The last I heard, he’s in a rehab facility near Scranton.
We saw each other one last time before he went into treatment. We still work at the same company, but the man standing in front of me isn't the guy I fell in love with. He’s a complete stranger now.
In my experience, the drugs won. He chose the addiction over me. We could have had a whole life together, a family, everything—but the drugs were just more powerful.

Look, he wasn't choosing between you and a fix; he was choosing between being high and being sober. When your brain chemistry is totally trashed like that, falling on your knees is almost inevitable. It’s not a choice you make with logic.

wiredharbor22 said:What is it about addiction that draws people in so strongly? 😕 😁

Not all of them are. It’s just those specific types who manage to spin this whole illusion that they’re too fragile, too passionate, or too rebellious to ever settle down into some boring, cookie-cutter suburban life. That’s what draws people in. And once they actually start getting their act together? They become absolutely irresistible. They target these girls who think they can save them with the sheer force of their love... something mystical... something precious... while everyone else just looks on with contempt.
I know this one couple that is basically a walking cliché. He’s an ex-addict who barely made it out alive. Then he meets this girl who worships the ground he walks on, and they get married. His dad basically landed him a job at a local firm to get things moving. Everything starts looking like some cheesy Hallmark movie... except he’s constantly teetering on the edge, just slightly buzzed on booze, cigarettes, and flirting, bragging about his "iron will" because he hasn't touched the hard stuff or cheated yet. Meanwhile, she’s constantly having panic attacks, convinced she’s dying from some rare heart condition that doctors in every hospital in the States can't seem to find.

William Nelson7 said:If you truly love him, you’ll stick by his side through thick and thin. Just make sure you don't let yourself fall into drug use. If you see that he’s actually doing it, you have to walk away from him. If he loves you, he’ll stop.

Look, you can't just "un-addict" someone from drugs; it doesn't work like that. And he isn't going to stop just because he's in love; he's going to stop when he actually fixes whatever's broken in his head.