Posts by jadedrifter19

Olivia Moore51 said:So, what exactly makes us special?🤷

If they aren't Americans, then they're just some other group of people—what's the difference? At the end of the day, we all come from somewhere.🤣

As for the posts, let's not go there.🙄

I never claimed we were special.
But we are definitely lonely hearts.😢

Olivia Moore51 said:you'll get used to it 😁

It isn't actually that bad. The only downside is that posts don't count toward your total—not that you lot care about stats, being such a dedicated 😁 crew. You'll meet plenty of interesting people, so it won't just be the same five guys spamming this thread to boost their numbers. Besides, maybe the moderator will fix something for you; after all, since the mod started this whole thing, shouldn't they... 🤷? 😁

It’s a bit of a shock at first, but eventually, you'll adjust and start jumping around more on the forum.

we are just a bunch of lonely hearts who belong there
half my posts were cut

wiredharbor22 said:If I hadn't explained myself, I wouldn't have said anything at all. 😁

Actually, I’ve put a plan together. We wait until morning when the admin wakes up. 😁
If they actually listen to me, the threads will be restored. 🙂
My apologies for any inconvenience caused (and believe me, I’ve dealt with more than my fair share 😁) and I trust there won't be further issues moving forward.

👋

It's morning now—is everything getting fixed? Being stuck out here is a total disaster.

feralranger22 said:You really think he isn't ready??!!
And what about you? What are you doing to yourself?

Look, when that selfish jerk finally decides he is ready, just send him back his own words. That’s how you close the loop.
Don't go chasing him either; you don't need that kind of baggage. If you give everything you have, you'll just end up feeling discarded and empty-handed.
I know it hurts, but believe me, there is no real love here. He's just playing at being Mother Teresa—it's all sympathy and false compassion.

YOU CANNOT HELP HIM!!! At this stage, he doesn't even want to help himself.

I second this.
I've been exactly where you are.

Very few people actually make it out, and honestly, I’m a skeptic. I realize I might be wrong, but that’s where I stand right now, and I’m not looking for any apologies regarding my outlook.
Even when they do manage to break free, there's always that lingering doubt that they'll eventually slip back into those old habits.
What happens if they run into their old crowd and get talked into sliding right back down that same path?
Amy Castillo2, I truly hope you get many more years of happiness with your boyfriend—may everything stay steady and may he stay on the right track so he never looks back. The same goes for your brother.

Taylor, I finally hit my breaking point this past Saturday. I spent the entire day stuck in my own head, and then, just as I’m heading in early the next morning, one of his former coworkers throws it right in my face—apparently, he has a new girlfriend, a nurse. Naturally, I was stunned.
On the other hand, looking back at when we saw each other a few months ago, I didn't feel anything for him. I was in a different relationship then; honestly, I felt bad for him. I even felt a bit embarrassed myself. Was I really going to risk my reputation by chatting with a former colleague who holds a lower position? What if one of the executives at the firm saw us talking? Everyone knows exactly who he is and what his reputation is.
The real issue is that my last two relationships since him have fallen apart, even though I was the one left behind. I don't think it actually has anything to do with him, yet somehow, this most recent breakup still stings because I can't stop thinking about him.
So, I suppose what happened on Saturday wasn't some grand revelation; it was just a sudden collision with the past.
He has his life, and I have mine. That’s it. The only thing we truly share is working for the same company.
Saturday was just a momentary breakdown, nothing more.

Christian Wells6 said:I am somewhat struck by the fact that you seem to feel this concerns you in any capacity.

The reality remains that you didn't leave him, plain and simple. 🤷

You have a problem here, and I am being entirely serious.

I spend my time offering advice on how long it takes to move on and how to ensure I never let myself fall into that trap again, yet here I am, spiraling all morning. I can't help but wonder if the failure of my last two relationships was actually my fault—if I simply didn't fight hard enough to keep them present. I don't even know anymore.
I know I gave everything to my most recent relationship. I truly cared about that person, and the breakup was devastating. Honestly, I still love them.

So, I just found out today that he’s finally done with that girl—the one who was also struggling with addiction. Can you believe his new girlfriend is actually a nurse?
I honestly don't even know how to react to that. I'm speechless.

If we could turn back the clock, I doubt any of us would take that risk again. Unfortunately, time only moves in one direction.
The important thing is that it's behind us now. We survived it, and we certainly wouldn't let ourselves fall for something like that ever again.

Gerald Scott4
It started out so well. On my first day at work, I didn't know anyone. He was working security down at the docks, and we just slowly started clicking. We realized we were heading in the same direction toward home—he’s originally from San Jose—so he started driving me back. After a few months, I got transferred to a different building to cover for a colleague, and that’s when I started hearing whispers that he was constantly asking around about me.
He was exactly my type: tall, dark, with these deep brown eyes. Was it just his looks? Maybe. Or maybe it was just because I hadn't dated anyone in a while and was feeling lonely. Or perhaps it was simply because, at the start, he acted like any other perfectly normal guy.
As time went on, I fell for him. But as I did, he began to change, and all those little red flags I’d heard about him early on started turning into reality.
I actually got a total shock seeing his friend on TV. There was this news segment about addiction, and his friend was sharing his story—how he started, how bad it got, how he managed to get clean for a while, only to spiral back into drugs and end up on methadone therapy again. I couldn't even wrap my head around how many doses he was taking a day.
After seeing that, I couldn't help but wonder: if his close friend is that far gone, where does that leave him?
In the end, it was over. I wasn't the one who ended it; he did. He gave me this explanation that he truly cared about me, but that he just wasn't the man I thought he was.

It’s been just under two years since we called it quits. It took me a full year to actually move past it, but I finally did. When I ran into him four months ago, there wasn't a flicker of feeling left—just a sense of pity. He could have been someone different, if he’d actually bothered to try.

Gerald Scott4, I actually ran into him back in April. We exchanged greetings, but he was a completely different person.
He just wasn't functioning normally; it was like he was living in his own little world.
While we were talking, his phone rang—it was some drug delivery guy. Imagine that, right in the middle of his workday. We said our goodbyes, and he just walked off to pick up the goods.
He looked totally disheveled—stained jeans, dirty shoes, skinny, pale... just unrecognizable.
Two days later, he was hauled away from work and taken to a facility in Brooklyn. As for what happened next, I have no idea.
He could have turned things around if he’d actually wanted to. He had everything he needed.

Maybe I was wrong, Jonathan Morales2, but this is how my head is working right now. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll see things differently, so I’d rather just own my current perspective.
You don't realize your boyfriend is an addict just by hearing rumors. You tell yourself, "No, that can't be true." Then, bit by bit, you realize there's actual truth in those stories. You try to sit him down for a real conversation, and he just dodges it—"I'm not an addict, what are you talking about?"
He could have stopped if he actually wanted to. Instead, he went deeper, straight to rock bottom.
He had everything going for him—supportive parents, a house, a car, a solid career. Most people would kill for half of what he had, but for him, none of it was ever enough.

First off, he has to actually want it. He needs to be able to look at himself and say, "Enough is enough; I want a new life."
Based on my experience dealing with a guy struggling with addiction, my current take is that once you're in that cycle, there’s no coming back. Maybe I'm wrong, and feel free to correct me if I am, but that’s just how I see it.

I was head over heels once, and honestly, it took me an entire year to finally get him out of my system. But hey, luck is on my side now—that chapter is officially closed.

You’re right, Jonathan Morales2, but I was the fool who actually believed things would change.

I spent a year with my boyfriend before I realized he was an addict. Looking back, there wasn't a single sign that anything was wrong.
I fell hard for him, and his family absolutely adored me. Even today, we stay in touch; both he and I work alongside his father in our family business.
When people at the firm found out we were dating, they were stunned. They couldn't wrap their heads around how a grounded, sensible woman like me could be with someone like him.
For a while, I actually managed to pull him away from that lifestyle. But eventually, things spiraled. He met some girl who was deep into drugs, and he ended up leaving me. In the end, the addiction was simply stronger than our relationship.
Word is they got engaged, she moved in with him, quit her job, and he took out massive loans—spiraling into debt, naturally, because of the habit. After he messed up at a lower-level position at the company, they sent him away. The last I heard, he’s in a rehab facility near Scranton.
We saw each other one last time before he went into treatment. We still work at the same company, but the man standing in front of me isn't the guy I fell in love with. He’s a complete stranger now.
In my experience, the drugs won. He chose the addiction over me. We could have had a whole life together, a family, everything—but the drugs were just more powerful.