4 posts shown.
Honestly, I don’t really have issues actually staying asleep, it’s just that getting my brain to shut down in the first place is a total struggle for me... and it's been like this forever. I’ll hop into bed and then just lie there for a solid hour trying to drift off, especially since I am super sensitive to any kind of noise or background chatter. Like, if someone is sleeping next to me and they start snoring or even just breathing a little heavy? Forget about it, there is absolutely no way I'm falling asleep. And even once I finally do pass out, every tiny little sound wakes me right back up and just totally fries my nerves. 😠
I guess what I'm saying is that my real issue is just having a hard time falling asleep...😲
Roger Morgan4 said:True, but Morgan Martinez28, there’s a massive difference between choosing solitude and being forced into it. And there’s something else... you can be surrounded by friends and acquaintances, yet find yourself completely alone during those pivotal, life-altering moments. I don’t know why it works that way, but it’s a pattern I see in my own life quite often. Then there’s a third layer: being lonely even when you're actually out with people. You're physically present, hanging out, but the internal sense of isolation persists regardless. Perhaps that’s a tangent, but loneliness is a complicated, messy thing. Once you finally learn how to be comfortable on your own and settle into that rhythm, those pleasant social interludes inevitably come to an end, forcing you to readjust back to your own company. For me, those transitions are the hardest part. That’s why I’ve been pulling away from socializing lately. There are so many wonderful people in this world, but if I can't be with them constantly, I struggle to maintain that kind of connection. It’s just too taxing. I’ve tried, really I have, but it’s unrealistic to expect anyone to have people by their side at all times. To me, those brief flashes of happiness in a crowd feel like an illusion. I have to be alone; anything else just hurts too much.
But seriously, why do you feel like you have to go through the cycle of getting used to being alone over and over again when it’s your baseline anyway? You go to sleep alone, you go to the doctor alone, you do your basic daily stuff alone. So, isn't it just totally natural that when you *are* with someone and you're actually having a blast, it eventually has to come to an end? You can't spend every waking moment with one person for your entire life. And it’s definitely not an illusion! Do you know why? Because in that specific moment, you felt good and you enjoyed yourself, and honestly, that should be enough. Just forget about everything else and stop overthinking it. Worrying about "what comes next" or "what if" is just a total waste of energy. Breakups—whether they're temporary or long-term—are just a standard part of life, so why do they have to hit you so much harder than everyone else? And why is it that you feel like you can't have a relationship unless that person is with you 24/7? It's all about learning the balance between living in the moment, enjoying the "now," and knowing when it's time to think about long-term plans. I really hope that makes at least a little bit of sense.👍
Amanda Sullivan3 said:I’ll be the first to admit—I don't actually want to be alone. But somehow, here I am. It feels like everyone suddenly becomes your best friend the moment they need a favor... yet when things get tough, nobody seems to care. Honestly, I've found there's a certain peace in my own company.
I'd much rather fly solo than spend my time surrounded by a crowd of fools.
Look, back in high school, I was basically the guy that like 90% of the class thought was a total moron or an idiot or whatever—we just didn't click at all. And for a while, I was sitting there wondering what the hell was wrong with me since nobody seemed to like me. Then it finally hit me: I just happened to run into the wrong crowd. It wasn't even my fault; it was just bad luck with the people around me, so there's really no point in stressing out or feeling guilty about it. And yeah, let's be real, people can be absolute trash sometimes, but that's no reason to jump to conclusions before you even give things a chance (I'm not saying go out and be a jerk, I'm just advising you not to start down that path😉). Just give it some time, okay? Maybe the issue today is just that everyone expects way too much from everyone else. As crazy or cold as it sounds, you should probably try to categorize people so life gets easier—you know, so you don't expect much and end up getting burned. Like, this person is just someone to grab coffee with, this one is just for a laugh, this one's for deep talks, this one's for hitting the bars, and this one's my actual best friend. When you stop expecting everything from everyone, you don't get disappointed nearly as much🙂. And if you truly do just keep running into assholes, then it's just a weird string of bad luck, and you've gotta just move on and not waste your energy on it if you can help it. Just focus on the stuff you actually need to get done and the things that actually make you happy🙂
Honestly, I don't know... I'm actually fascinated by how people find the whole concept of being alone so weird and unsettling. Like, isn't being alone actually the longest and most significant stretch of our lives? One thing that trips me out over and over again—and I mean, seriously, why?—is watching people head to the campus dining hall. I mean, eating is a basic biological necessity just so you don't die, right? And yet, for most people, the idea of walking into the cafeteria by yourself is somehow unthinkable. Like, oh my god, you're a total freak if you eat solo?? WTF? People will literally hunt down a companion just to go grab lunch so they don't look like an outcast. But I’m talking about this happening constantly, like twice a day, every single day. I hit up the dining hall alone all the time, and occasionally someone will join me and then we're basically buddies, and that's it. On the flip side, I spend a huge chunk of my time alone every day, and honestly, it works for me because I've been this way my entire life and I'm used to it. And yeah, I have love life issues because I'm a college student, whatever 🤣 but there is nothing I enjoy more than heading downtown by myself to hit up a shop and just peacefully buy whatever catches my eye. Or sitting at a cafe reading a killer book, catching a movie at the theater, or just wandering around. 🤷 Then again, I've realized that solitude sends off certain vibes to other people, because apparently, the way you carry yourself when you're alone can either draw people in or push them away. For example, a girl in my class told me I come off as super indifferent, like I just couldn't care less about anyone or anything, and honestly? She's not wrong. It's all about your attitude. You put on some shades, blast your music through your earbuds while you stroll through the city, and suddenly you stop giving a damn about what everyone else thinks. At the same time, I totally get those moments when you're alone and you just don't have anyone to share things with. But it still blows my mind when I tell people I only have a few close friends and leave it at that. I have this guy in my major who knows every single person on campus and greets everyone he sees, whereas I know maybe three or four people, and even that feels like a lot to me 😁 and then they look at me like I'm crazy, asking, "How can you not have friends?" Why would I? I'm not going to force anything or try to drag people into hanging out with me if they aren't feeling it. There's plenty of time, I'm young, there's no rush. Just live in the moment and don't force things; it's pointless. Plus, solitude builds your character, and remember, gods are forged in solitude 😉 but hey, if you're just completely fed up with everything, there's a massive crowd of people right here on this forum. Just send someone a DM and go grab a coffee and talk nonsense until your head hurts. 😁😁