Let's talk perfectionism: General discussion
in Psychology ·
Amanda Myers3 said:Perfectionism is defined as the pursuit of flawlessness, where individuals strive for absolute excellence across all facets of life (Flett and Hewitt, 2002).
According to Slaney, Robert, et al. (1995), perfectionism is comprised of four distinct dimensions:
- maintaining extremely high standards
- orderliness
- tendencies toward procrastination
- interpersonal difficulties.
Modern psychological science distinguishes between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. Adaptive perfectionism involves setting high standards and values, whereas maladaptive perfectionism centers on the perception that one can never meet those lofty goals ("nothing is ever good enough").
Positive perfectionism involves thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching high standards to achieve successful outcomes; it is driven by a desire for achievement and results in genuine satisfaction.
Negative perfectionism refers to thoughts and behaviors driven by the need to reach high standards simply to avoid negative consequences; it is fueled by fear of failure rather than a drive for success.
More recent conceptualizations divide perfectionism into two categories—perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns—while classifying individuals into three groups: healthy perfectionists, unhealthy perfectionists, and non-perfectionists.
While several theories attempt to explain the development of perfectionism, many have yet to undergo rigorous empirical testing.
This is a general discussion thread regarding perfectionism. It is intended for debating theoretical concepts, raising specific issues, sharing perspectives, or offering advice. Please adhere to the standard forum rules. Given that this thread was originally established in 2008, please check the timestamps before replying to ensure you aren't responding to ancient posts.
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I am struggling with perfectionism...
In my world, everything has to be flawless. I feel compelled to achieve constantly and be the best at everything I do—if I’m not, the activity stops being fun and just becomes frustrating. I also feel the need to look perfect (since I don't fit certain beauty ideals—I don't have a large bust or a curvy figure, and frankly, I hate my appearance). There is plenty more to list.
I set incredibly high standards for myself, and even if I actually meet them, I just raise the bar even higher.
Is anyone else fighting this same battle? Or has anyone actually managed to overcome perfectionism?
I read a book recently that suggested we should allow ourselves to be average... but I have to ask: why would anyone consciously choose to be mediocre?
The only part of this that doesn't quite resonate with me is the idea that one "must be the best," because that feels like a polite way of saying "I have to be better than everyone else."
Everything else sounds like nothing more than having high standards, which is actually a good thing to possess, as nobody truly desires to live an average life.