Let's talk perfectionism: General discussion
in Psychology ·
Starting this thread because I’m struggling. I’ve always been a huge perfectionist—it was tied to being sensitive and feeling pretty insecure, though that's gotten a bit better lately. I actually managed to let go of most of that perfectionism (and the pessimism that came with it) and finally relaxed. Or maybe I just stopped expecting so much from everyone else and kept those high standards for myself. But now, this perfectionism is hitting me hard whenever it comes to work. Luckily, I’m not responsible for people's lives, but even when I make a tiny mistake, I absolutely beat myself up. And if there’s something I don't know how to do yet? Same thing. Honestly, I’m still a beginner, so making mistakes isn't even surprising. Even the veterans make them. On the other hand, I can't help feeling like if I had worked more or studied harder before, I wouldn't be messing up this much. What can I do? I could try to make up for lost time (even if it doesn't feel like there's that much to catch up on), gain more experience, and trust that my confidence will grow once I have it. But even then, I still rip myself apart over every little error, and I really don't want to deal with this level of stress just to get through the learning phase. I know I'm overreacting. Objectively, I know it's not healthy to be this hard on myself, but how do I stop? When I vent to my friends about it, they all tell me I'm doing a great job, that I'm being way too hard on myself, and that everything is actually fine and I just need to keep moving. But I still feel so stuck and upset. When I'm out with people, I can soak up their relaxed vibe, but once I'm alone, I spiral into this pessimism and expect everything to be absolutely flawless.