Posts by Steven Hill

@vividtiger50 I suppose that’s really the core of it—forcing yourself to tackle something you’re convinced you couldn't pull off even in your wildest dreams. I remember feeling that same knot in my stomach about showing up somewhere alone and potentially looking like an idiot, but honestly, that discomfort is usually just a one-time thing. By the second time, you stop caring so much...
Most of what I've accomplished wasn't some grand, calculated plan. I just happened to be walking past a local Gold's Gym, decided to walk in, signed up, grabbed a schedule, and called it a day.

If you can push yourself through a few things you currently think are impossible, you’ll start feeling like a completely different person—someone a bit more capable and, I guess, a little braver.
Nowadays, when I have some downtime and my coursework at State University isn't overwhelming (like during the summer), I'll pick up a freelance gig on Upwork, grab my backpack, hop on an Amtrak, and just head out. There’s always some city you haven't explored yet, and even if you consider yourself socially awkward, you'll likely cross paths with someone interesting along the way.

It sounds like you've set too many arbitrary limits for yourself, but once you break through that first barrier, the rest tend to fall away. 🙂

Honestly, I think you should start by looking into something like a fitness class, Pilates, or maybe a dance studio—just something to get you out of the house and around other people.
It isn’t even about grabbing coffee with them afterward; it’s just about making that initial move so you aren't spending every single day stuck alone in your apartment.

Most people there are just focused on their own workouts anyway, so they won't care if you show up solo or with a group of five friends.
I actually signed up for a gym membership entirely on my own once. I was in that phase where I went out way too much, which left me with the stamina of a ninety-year-old, and I’ve always been embarrassingly clumsy. I definitely stood out because I kept doing the moves in reverse; I almost broke my leg when I tripped over a stepper. At least the whole ordeal gave me a good laugh.
After a couple of months, I finally got the hang of it and felt pretty proud of myself. Plus, regular exercise is such a solid remedy for depression. You end up feeling that specific kind of healthy exhaustion that actually makes you happy. 😉

p.s. Have you given any thought to getting a roommate?

been there, done that 😢

One thing that worked in my favor was living with my elderly parents; I couldn't exactly just stay cooped up at home all day, even if the feeling was the same.
I’d basically just head out a few times a week and pretend I was heading to a lecture, when really I was just wandering around town by myself because I didn't have anyone to grab coffee with.

Eventually, I switched majors. Now I'm working myself to death, but at least I actually have some idea of what my future looks like.
A fresh start might be the best thing that could happen to you right now. It's almost like you've just finished high school and you're only just starting the admissions process. You have plenty of time to prepare for whatever college you choose.
At first, you'll meet a whole crowd of new people, and I suspect you'll eventually forget those rough few years ever happened. That was certainly my experience.
Luckily, not every freshman is eighteen; you can always find someone closer to your own age.