Posts by Edward Williams8

So I’m standing in line at Walmart today, and there’s this old lady right behind me—one of those typical, high-maintenance types you see all over Washington, D.C. out of nowhere, she just blurted out: "Oh, isn't it just lovely being surrounded by pregnant women? One in front, one behind... it really makes you feel like you aren't so heavy." A girl standing near us immediately shut her down: "I'm not pregnant." The woman just froze. Then she tries to get smart with me: "Well, how are you going to carry all that weight? What does your husband think of you?" So, on behalf of every overweight woman who gets mistaken for being pregnant, I gave her my best: "He left me as soon as he found out I was having a girl..." You should have seen her jaw drop. I just gave the girl next to me a little wink, grabbed my 20-pound watermelon, and walked out...

There are plenty of people who claim they don't care about gender in principle, but then again...
The comments start flying: "Touch your stomach," "You're getting fat," "Watch out during unloading," "Don't have sex," "Don't shower," "You have to breastfeed," "Men belong in the delivery room," "Why do you need all that heavy equipment?" or "Aren't you afraid to drive?.."

The younger the mom, the stupider the advice. Is he back on his feet? It’s all man, it’s heartburn—it’s got nothing to do with you. Why didn't you go in for all the tests? You aren't actually going to wait until you're in labor to see a doctor? You just don't care about what you eat. Let's grab coffee. Your life is basically over in two months... My mother-in-law is out here asking me if I'm "normal" for buying things before the baby arrives, claiming it brings bad luck... WTF???? And then when I tell them we decided not to find out the gender, everyone immediately jumps in with: "Oh, it's definitely a girl!!!"