Posts by crimsonviper88

jadegardener21 said:Well, alright, maybe not literally everything. 😉
It sounds a bit more extreme than what I actually mean when it's written out like that... But I truly am of the opinion that if something in someone's life is seriously not working for them, then it ought to be changed (within the bounds of everyone else's freedom—meaning changing oneself, not others).
Another point to consider is that it is far, far easier to just sit there and moan about life and fate and lash out at other people than it is to actually take action regarding oneself...

Change always carries risk. It always brings with it the possibility that you might not actually like the new thing, and it won't be quite as easy to go back to how things were (read: fine, let her walk away from that old social circle, all those "small, mediocre" people she despises—even if she doesn't know why she hates them—and find something new, but she has to realize there is a very real chance she'll be disappointed, want to come back, and then they'll just shut her out—and rightfully so, if you ask me)... But still, it is better to change than to sow unspoken bitterness everywhere around you, and from these posts, it certainly sounds like that's what's happening. She would be doing herself a favor, and honestly, a favor to them too.

I’m sticking to my old way of thinking—either make peace with things, realize the world isn't perfect and that what you have right now actually suits you, and just grow and live right where you are with the people you have, or if you can't stomach them, change them—but don't fail to change and then proceed to spread bitterness and complain because you didn't have the courage to change something that doesn't work for you.
And there is plenty of bitterness to go around—just look at how much contempt is oozing out of her in the second paragraph of the first post, it really sounds terrible... She should just distance herself from the people she looks down on—it's better for her and for them; nobody wants to be sending out bad vibes.

They have a legitimate right to live what she calls an "average life" without someone who claims to be their friend (!) condescendingly slapping labels on them behind their backs, even if it's done anonymously on a forum. Clearly, something is wrong here.
She has an equally legitimate right to seek out whatever excitement she desires and a social circle that provides what this one cannot. To seek, I say, because I don't know if she can even find it, but okay, she has the right to seek it.

If the issue is purely some sort of life monotony, and she's just using more extreme phrasing than she actually intends, then that is solvable. But if the problem is that she is deeply dissatisfied and truly overflowing with negative feelings toward the people she hangs out with, it would be better for everyone if she just moved on from them.

I never said I despise the people around me, and I didn't say I hate them. I love them. I want to stay on good terms with them, and I don't go around spreading bitterness in my actual life. What irritates me is that they have zero desire to step outside their little bubbles and break the monotony. Since I hang out with them and cater to their preferences, I feel like I'm being forced to act the same way. (Yeah, yeah, I get it, I can change society, they aren't responsible for anything, etc...).

And please, what is so terrible about it? Where exactly am I seeing contempt in the second paragraph of the first post?

Look, I get it. People have every right to say you need to move on by yourself—social circles aren't some essential requirement for life. But there’s this one thing... I tend to get really attached to people. I invest everything into my relationships, just like I do with my current group of friends. I live in this little bubble thinking we're perfect, that they're my people, and I count on them completely. Then, eventually, it hits me that this group doesn't actually fit who I am. We're just too different. I always end up bending over backwards to suit them because they're the majority, but the second I try to voice my own opinion, they always find some excuse to shut me down. It leaves me feeling totally betrayed. Honestly, I just get so angry at them for never being willing to change anything; it's always the exact same old story.

Small off-topic bit: Jerry Martinez5, are you actually a psychologist or something?

gentletiger20 said:Marko Grubnić seems terrified of being mediocre, but honestly? Not me. I don't even get what the big deal is... why should I be scared of just being average? Most of the time, being "average" is actually the sweet spot. To me, this whole obsession with avoiding mediocrity just smells like an inferiority complex. Like, you feel like you don't even exist unless you're standing out from the crowd—you have to be "better" than everyone else just to prove you're a real person. It’s exhausting... and frankly, it feels wrong. The whole concept of mediocrity is built on comparing yourself to other people, which is already a losing game. Just look at yourself—compare who you were yesterday to who you are now, and who you want to be tomorrow. That's the only metric that matters.

Maybe I didn't explain myself well... It's not that I want to wildly break away from society. I don't need to be the "star," and I definitely don't want to be like Bernie Sanders 😁
The parts I bolded—that's not how I think. I don't have to stand out just to have value. I just want to escape this monotony I've fallen into. I don't want to be like the people around me (just college-home-party once a week—😠damn cookie-cutter lifestyles!
)

Kevin Nguyen5 said:Whenever I feel like I’m slipping into being totally basic, I just slap some funky color on my nails and call it a day. 🤷
Alright, jokes aside, I think mediocrity is really just about everyone copying everyone else—the same style, the same lifestyle, all of it. But honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. It’s fine. People are just terrified of change, I guess.
But once you're actually sick of it, then maybe you should try carving out your own path.

the thing is, I'm just not feeling the lifestyle of the people I hang out with, but I guess I just don't have the nerve to head in a different direction yet. :/

Jerry Martinez5 said:Ha. That basically means you’re being passive. Maybe you just don't love risk, danger, or the messiness of failure all that much. Perhaps the safety of your current circle feels better? In other words: you're playing it safe.

Advice: stop obsessing over "average people" and quit underestimating those around you. It doesn't help anyone. Instead, maybe focus on what you actually want to do. What are your goals? Other people aren't an excuse for why you aren't taking action.

Why does a successful entrepreneur make ten times more than a standard employee? Because they took the leap. And risk means exactly that: you put everything on the line. You might win big, or you might lose everything. Most people just hate the idea of risking it, because, obviously, there are no guarantees.

yeah, I am being passive. but I don't think it's because I'm afraid of risk or danger. I think it's more like... a lack of guts. I just don't have the confidence to step up, to do something different, to break out of this rut. Because honestly? I'm scared to take the first move myself.
thanks for the advice.

Jerry Martinez5 said:That’s a whole other issue right there: you want to be accepted by society, but you also want to develop interests and needs that have nothing to do with them. If you actually show who you are, people might act weird, judge you, or just distance themselves entirely.

We’re all basically just trying to figure out that balance: how much should you be yourself, and how much should you perform just to fit in? We learn which people are actually worth the effort. As you explore who you are, your circle of friends inevitably shifts. Some people evolve, sure. Others stay on the exact same block they were born on, hanging out with the same crowd for their entire lives.

I don't want to end up like that 🙂! But I guess I just lack the self-assurance to go off on my own, to find some new "adventures" or whatever.

Yeah, I get it. I know I need to move on and find some new circle, a group where I could finally just be my actual self. But honestly? It’s hard to find a new crowd when it’s this difficult to just cut ties with everything from the past.

To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.

But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.

Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...