Mediocrity is everywhere

What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.

But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.

Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...

Look, in our society, it’s become almost standard to develop this sense of learned helplessness, and honestly, I can't get behind it. For instance:

People who aren't striving for anything better—who don't seek out excitement or growth because they've just settled into their daily grind and feel "fine" with it—they have zero desire to change a thing.
... I find passive people infuriating; I might even go as far as saying I feel something close to hatred toward them.
... Passive individuals who shy away from change, bigger thrills, or taking any kind of risk...

Regardless, the sentiment is valid.

crimsonviper88 said:What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.

But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.

Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...

So, what defines someone as "average" versus "above average" to you? Is it education, mindset, or just their general outlook on life?😕

To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

crimsonviper88 said:To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

Hmm. If you prefer unpredictability and staying active, then don't let your social circle dictate your pace. Find a new crowd—people who actually move and hate routine as much as you do. Eventually, you'll shift too. Nowadays, people aren't just passive; they're genuinely indifferent.

Yeah, I get it. I know I need to move on and find some new circle, a group where I could finally just be my actual self. But honestly? It’s hard to find a new crowd when it’s this difficult to just cut ties with everything from the past.

crimsonviper88 said:Yeah, I get it. I know I need to move on and find some new circle, a group where I could finally just be my actual self. But honestly? It’s hard to find a new crowd when it’s this difficult to just cut ties with everything from the past.

Of course it's hard. But you don't have to cut everyone off overnight, and you won't change everything in a single day either. It happens gradually.😉

Whenever people start droning on about mediocrity, I always find myself circling back to this one thought: True leadership is all about finding that spark to rise above the usual mediocrity... 🙂

crimsonviper88 said:Yeah, I get it. I know I need to move on and find some new circle, a group where I could finally just be my actual self. But honestly? It’s hard to find a new crowd when it’s this difficult to just cut ties with everything from the past.

Ha. That basically means you’re being passive. Maybe you just don't love risk, danger, or the messiness of failure all that much. Perhaps the safety of your current circle feels better? In other words: you're playing it safe.

Advice: stop obsessing over "average people" and quit underestimating those around you. It doesn't help anyone. Instead, maybe focus on what you actually want to do. What are your goals? Other people aren't an excuse for why you aren't taking action.

Why does a successful entrepreneur make ten times more than a standard employee? Because they took the leap. And risk means exactly that: you put everything on the line. You might win big, or you might lose everything. Most people just hate the idea of risking it, because, obviously, there are no guarantees.

crimsonviper88 said:What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.

But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.

Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...

That’s a whole other issue right there: you want to be accepted by society, but you also want to develop interests and needs that have nothing to do with them. If you actually show who you are, people might act weird, judge you, or just distance themselves entirely.

We’re all basically just trying to figure out that balance: how much should you be yourself, and how much should you perform just to fit in? We learn which people are actually worth the effort. As you explore who you are, your circle of friends inevitably shifts. Some people evolve, sure. Others stay on the exact same block they were born on, hanging out with the same crowd for their entire lives.

Whenever I feel like I’m slipping into being totally basic, I just slap some funky color on my nails and call it a day. 🤷
Alright, jokes aside, I think mediocrity is really just about everyone copying everyone else—the same style, the same lifestyle, all of it. But honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. It’s fine. People are just terrified of change, I guess.
But once you're actually sick of it, then maybe you should try carving out your own path.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Ha. That basically means you’re being passive. Maybe you just don't love risk, danger, or the messiness of failure all that much. Perhaps the safety of your current circle feels better? In other words: you're playing it safe.

Advice: stop obsessing over "average people" and quit underestimating those around you. It doesn't help anyone. Instead, maybe focus on what you actually want to do. What are your goals? Other people aren't an excuse for why you aren't taking action.

Why does a successful entrepreneur make ten times more than a standard employee? Because they took the leap. And risk means exactly that: you put everything on the line. You might win big, or you might lose everything. Most people just hate the idea of risking it, because, obviously, there are no guarantees.

yeah, I am being passive. but I don't think it's because I'm afraid of risk or danger. I think it's more like... a lack of guts. I just don't have the confidence to step up, to do something different, to break out of this rut. Because honestly? I'm scared to take the first move myself.
thanks for the advice.

Jerry Martinez5 said:That’s a whole other issue right there: you want to be accepted by society, but you also want to develop interests and needs that have nothing to do with them. If you actually show who you are, people might act weird, judge you, or just distance themselves entirely.

We’re all basically just trying to figure out that balance: how much should you be yourself, and how much should you perform just to fit in? We learn which people are actually worth the effort. As you explore who you are, your circle of friends inevitably shifts. Some people evolve, sure. Others stay on the exact same block they were born on, hanging out with the same crowd for their entire lives.

I don't want to end up like that 🙂! But I guess I just lack the self-assurance to go off on my own, to find some new "adventures" or whatever.

Kevin Nguyen5 said:Whenever I feel like I’m slipping into being totally basic, I just slap some funky color on my nails and call it a day. 🤷
Alright, jokes aside, I think mediocrity is really just about everyone copying everyone else—the same style, the same lifestyle, all of it. But honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. It’s fine. People are just terrified of change, I guess.
But once you're actually sick of it, then maybe you should try carving out your own path.

the thing is, I'm just not feeling the lifestyle of the people I hang out with, but I guess I just don't have the nerve to head in a different direction yet. :/

crimsonviper88 said:the thing is, I'm just not feeling the lifestyle of the people I hang out with, but I guess I just don't have the nerve to head in a different direction yet. :/

I get it. You need a push, and clearly, just being unhappy isn't enough of a catalyst.
But honestly, sitting around complaining isn't going to change a thing. It’s a waste of time.
For me, I started by changing myself first, and that eventually shifted my whole social circle exactly the way I wanted it to. Changing things is hard, I know, but you've gotta stay tough. Your happiness is worth the effort.

From what I’ve observed in my own life, and honestly, in people in general, we can only emotionally react to things that already have some sort of resonance within us... something that exists somewhere deep inside. If something is completely foreign to our experience, or if it’s just utterly irrelevant to who we are, it simply won't stir us up or trigger any intense feelings.
And the more powerful those feelings become, the more it becomes a part of you—that thing you find yourself fighting against—because something can only irritate you this deeply if it is extremely personally significant to you. And judging by your opening post, I would say your emotions are quite intense on this matter. 😉

Furthermore—you aren't "forced" to act this way when you are around them. The very fact that you choose to associate with them at all is your choice. Taking ownership of that decision would be the necessary first step, because things are never going to change on their own, and it's only once you admit that it truly depends on you that you might actually have the power to change anything...

If you don't like your social circle, change it. If you don't like your job, change it. If you don't like the country you live in, move. And so on. Everything in your life that isn't working for you should be changed within the limits of possibility... though those limits are often much further out than we dare to admit.
Those who really are dissatisfied will always find a way to alter their circumstances. Meanwhile, those who secretly prefer the status quo will simply find an excuse to keep complaining. Which group you belong to, once again, is entirely up to you.

jadegardener21 said:From what I’ve observed in my own life, and honestly, in people in general, we can only emotionally react to things that already have some sort of resonance within us... something that exists somewhere deep inside. If something is completely foreign to our experience, or if it’s just utterly irrelevant to who we are, it simply won't stir us up or trigger any intense feelings.
And the more powerful those feelings become, the more it becomes a part of you—that thing you find yourself fighting against—because something can only irritate you this deeply if it is extremely personally significant to you. And judging by your opening post, I would say your emotions are quite intense on this matter. 😉

Furthermore—you aren't "forced" to act this way when you are around them. The very fact that you choose to associate with them at all is your choice. Taking ownership of that decision would be the necessary first step, because things are never going to change on their own, and it's only once you admit that it truly depends on you that you might actually have the power to change anything...

If you don't like your social circle, change it. If you don't like your job, change it. If you don't like the country you live in, move. And so on. Everything in your life that isn't working for you should be changed within the limits of possibility... though those limits are often much further out than we dare to admit.
Those who really are dissatisfied will always find a way to alter their circumstances. Meanwhile, those who secretly prefer the status quo will simply find an excuse to keep complaining. Which group you belong to, once again, is entirely up to you.

Everything?

crimsonviper88 said:To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

Many people end up becoming exactly what you despise because of the "change, excitement, and risk-taking" you mistakenly view as positive, despite the fact that such upheavals frequently break a person. They make him passive. And yet you claim these people simply feel "okay and don't want to change anything"?
You are willing to ditch an old social circle for a new one just to chase some vague idea of "better" or "more," even though you aren't even sure what that better life actually looks like. You are just certain it isn't mediocrity or passivity. Where does this hatred for being passive come from? Are passivity and mediocrity the only traits your circle possesses?
And who exactly is the "real you"?

crimsonviper88 said:To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

Just because something makes you happy doesn't mean it'll do the same for someone else...
But mediocrity isn't what you described....not even close...
Look, we're all following some kind of path. As we get older, we might be less willing to shake things up, but that’s strictly because we’ve gained experience and learned to be more careful...that has nothing to do with being mediocre, and it definitely isn't about being bored with life...
I personally know plenty of people and couples who have run in the same social circles for years, hitting up the same spots, and they aren't bored at all because they're actually living high-quality lives!

In my book, being mediocre means doing absolutely nothing to improve yourself. Let me emphasize this: WORK ON YOURSELF. By that, I mean intellectual growth, refusing to embrace the changes time brings, or shutting yourself off to new knowledge... THAT is mediocrity...

And hey, you don't have to be mediocre, regardless of how many "average" people you call your friends... because one day, once you actually start working on yourself, you'll find your circle expanding to include people who live the exact same lifestyle as you.

Marko Grubnić seems terrified of being mediocre, but honestly? Not me. I don't even get what the big deal is... why should I be scared of just being average? Most of the time, being "average" is actually the sweet spot. To me, this whole obsession with avoiding mediocrity just smells like an inferiority complex. Like, you feel like you don't even exist unless you're standing out from the crowd—you have to be "better" than everyone else just to prove you're a real person. It’s exhausting... and frankly, it feels wrong. The whole concept of mediocrity is built on comparing yourself to other people, which is already a losing game. Just look at yourself—compare who you were yesterday to who you are now, and who you want to be tomorrow. That's the only metric that matters.

crimsonviper88 said:What’s your take on average people? You know, the ones who just want a totally mundane, run-of-the-mill life? People who don't care about big thrills or massive changes. They’re just settled into their routine, comfortable with it, and don't have any desire to shake things up.

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly fighting against being mediocre. I hate it. I can't stand people who are just... passive. Honestly, I might even say I feel something close to hatred toward them.

But here’s the thing that really gets to me: I think I’m becoming one of them. I have a small circle I hang out with most—we’ve known each other since high school, maybe five or six years now. They’re my real friends, the only ones I actually care about. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. But lately, I’ve realized this core group is exactly what I described above. Passive. Unwilling to change. Afraid of taking risks or finding excitement. It irritates the hell out of me because by hanging out with them, I’m basically forced to be like them. I don't have the energy to break out of this rut on my own. I don't *want* to be ordinary. But I don't have a social circle that actually pushes me to be different—one where I can actually be myself. The version of me I actually want to be.

Look, obviously I want to keep my friends. I love them, despite our differences. But how do you stop being so dependent on them? Everyone has their own needs and wants, but if the majority wants one thing, then the minority's desires—in this case, mine—just end up pushed aside...

OK, keep writing?🙂

gentletiger20 said:Marko Grubnić seems terrified of being mediocre, but honestly? Not me. I don't even get what the big deal is... why should I be scared of just being average? Most of the time, being "average" is actually the sweet spot. To me, this whole obsession with avoiding mediocrity just smells like an inferiority complex. Like, you feel like you don't even exist unless you're standing out from the crowd—you have to be "better" than everyone else just to prove you're a real person. It’s exhausting... and frankly, it feels wrong. The whole concept of mediocrity is built on comparing yourself to other people, which is already a losing game. Just look at yourself—compare who you were yesterday to who you are now, and who you want to be tomorrow. That's the only metric that matters.

Maybe I didn't explain myself well... It's not that I want to wildly break away from society. I don't need to be the "star," and I definitely don't want to be like Bernie Sanders 😁
The parts I bolded—that's not how I think. I don't have to stand out just to have value. I just want to escape this monotony I've fallen into. I don't want to be like the people around me (just college-home-party once a week—😠damn cookie-cutter lifestyles!
)