Posts by driftingtiger2

I appreciate any good advice, and I know you mean well with your 🙂, but I’m pretty much allergic to church and the people running it... maybe I could try turning to God (though, unfortunately, I don't believe in Him), but I just can't stomach listening to someone who supposedly delivers His word...

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll become a believer and actually take your advice

I’m not a believer. I respect those who are and can hold my own in a conversation about faith, but it’s just not my thing. So, a spiritual retreat? Not sure how much that would actually do for me.

Feeling a bit better today. Got some breathing room at work yesterday—they pushed my deadline to December 31st. So, until then, nobody’s getting fired and I’m not handing in my notice... at least, hopefully.
My philosophy? Things can always get worse, so just keep moving. Don't mope. Whatever happens, the world keeps spinning. And when things truly become unbearable? Well, you can always die. I try not to be overly dramatic, but when everything hits at once... it's hard. I'm so exhausted I almost wish I could just get sick, end up in a hospital bed, and have everyone leave me alone for two weeks without asking for a single thing. 😢What kind of luck would that be? Even in a hospital, I'd probably still be stuck with my work phone and laptop...
Got some new pets, but a dog isn't an option. Living in an apartment means I don't want one sitting there alone all day...

Matthew Hayes14 is right. Sometimes I need that peace you get from cleaning or ironing—just doing chores around the house... putting on some music and working through it. It's funny, I can't actually sit still, otherwise I just start overthinking everything.

Anyway, I've lost 15 pounds in the last six months. I had quite a bit to lose, so I wouldn't say I'm thin now, but I just don't have much of an appetite lately...

Nicole Wilson6 said:Diagnosis is depression, so get someone to see a psychiatrist ASAP.🙂🙂🙂

I get it. I know this shouldn't be funny, but what can you do when it actually makes you laugh? 🙂

It used to be nice—coming home from work, grabbing lunch with my husband, heading out for a walk together. Now? We eat in silence, then I wash the dishes while he stares at the TV. It used to be rewarding to hand out bonuses at the office; lately, I’m just handing out pink slips. It used to be great grabbing coffee with a friend; now, I can’t even stand to listen to her without getting irritated. And yeah, I know the problem is me. She hasn't changed. It's just 😢
. I don't want to be this person. I'm lying awake at night, popping 10 mg of Norvasc and still staring at the ceiling. The dark circles under my eyes are permanent. Last time I actually took a vacation was eighteen months ago

Thanks for the support. I know plenty of people have dealt with much worse than this, and I’m not some kind of magnet for bad luck—it’s just life happening.
The issue is that I can't control my own fears, and I've become the rock for everyone—my parents, my husband, my colleagues. At work, I'm responsible for other people's livelihoods, and this month's recession has hit us hard. Everyone expects me to have all the answers when I don't, and I'm terrified we're all going to end up on the street. I can't afford to break because so much depends on me, or so it feels, but I can feel myself fading. I'm starting to get numb. Yesterday, I found myself looking for a sturdy spot in my apartment to hang myself. I remembered someone I knew who used a window latch, and I actually wondered how they managed it... I really don't like these thoughts. 😢

To might just be "a dog" to someone else, but he’s been sleeping by my bed for fourteen years. Fourteen years of life together.

I’ve known my friend who passed from cancer since the day I was born. During those last two months, I was there every single day—reading the news to him, playing cards when he felt up to it, talking about life and death... I stayed close because I knew he was slipping away. Losing him? It hit me hard.

The issue is that nothing brings me any joy, and I'm just constantly living in fear. I'm scared my mom will pass away, terrified my dad might take his own life because he can't handle losing his job, and I have these nightmares about my brother getting killed in a hit-and-run. I worry about being fired and losing the house I still have 14 years left on the mortgage for. I wonder if my husband is actually happy with me. I rarely see friends anymore; I'm just completely drained from work, caring for my mother, and dealing with all the money stress...

Look, analogdriver52, you clearly missed the point of what I wrote. If you’re just here to judge me, then there's really no reason for us to be talking on this thread.

Hey everyone,
I’m just completely drained. Spent the whole night crying without even knowing why... These last two years have absolutely gutted me. For months now, I’ve been dealing with constant migraines, stomach issues, and this sharp pain in my left chest. I have zero motivation. My palms are constantly sweating—I actually have a tissue on my desk right now because I can't stop wiping them.
My mom is seriously ill, my dad lost his job, and my brother is caught up in some legal trouble that has me terrified for him. At work, we're going through a massive reorganization; ten of my closest colleagues were already laid off, and I feel like I'm next in line. On top of that, I recently watched someone I love die from lung cancer. Then my dog of 14 years passed away. Even with my husband, it feels like we're just roommates. We don't talk about anything because he's so closed off, and intimacy is basically non-existent... just a formality once a month.
Lately, I catch myself thinking about how much easier it would be if I just wasn't here. I just don't have any strength left...