Guilt and Regret: How do you deal with it?
in Psychology ·
Jerry Martinez5 said:Well, you’ve already taken the first step: you realized how this guilt is messing with your life. It’s pretty obvious to you now that it’s excessive and just holding you back.
It gets resolved... slowly. In any specific situation where your conscience starts stinging because you did X instead of Y, try to comfort yourself. If you messed up—hey, nobody is perfect.
It takes time to learn how to give yourself credit every time you actually do something right. So, when that guilt hits you over example X, counter it with example Y—something you can genuinely be proud of.
These feelings are toxic. They don't make us "better" people. It's just a reflection of being too hard on yourself, which, ironically, keeps you from actually improving.
I say this truthfully because that’s exactly how I used positive self-talk to get past my own guilt. It got to a point where it was almost ridiculous—I’d feel bad if I didn't move over an inch for someone on the subway, or if I didn't stand up for someone older than me, or even when I was dealing with intense physical pain. I even felt guilty about not giving change to panhandlers on the street, even though I knew at the end of the day they probably had more cash on them than I did.😕
I guess you just have to constantly talk yourself through it and stay rational. That’s what works for me.