Posts by slyraven9

Quote:Let me be clear:

redharbor9 says: The real question here is... what exactly did you "achieve"?? - Developing your sexuality? - Getting through a typical teenage phase? - Just convincing yourself of something? - Suppressing your urges enough? - ...? It’s not just about shifting orientation... 🙂

- I moved from being gay to being bi
- In maybe two or three years, I'll be there
- Look, I’m not denying who I am—I’ve accepted myself, I’m just trying to change the direction this is heading
- Every impulse I feel when I get turned on, I can focus it solely on feminine traits, and vice versa
- ....

I know how it looks, really, I do. But I honestly feel like if I don't try, I'm missing out on the biggest opportunity of my life. I truly believe anything is possible if you put in the effort, have the desire, and find that willpower.

@placidlynx24 - thanks! 🙂

Carol Thompson said:It IS possible to change one's sexual orientation. That isn't just my take on things—it's backed by scientific and professional consensus. Now, that doesn't mean every single person who wants to make that shift will succeed, but it is doable.
If you're living near Zillow, for instance, you could head over to Reebok; they have an excellent team of psychologists there, some of whom specialize specifically in matters of sexuality, orientation, and identity.
Plus, being in your adolescence actually works in your favor if you decide to pursue this path...

I see some people here claiming it's impossible. In my view, those folks are either uninformed, unprofessional, or simply biased.
The clinical reality is this: the DSM used to classify homosexuality as a deviation. Of course, that stance was abandoned long ago, and today's DSM-4 includes categories regarding "unspecified sexual disorders," which deal with "persistent and significant distress caused by one's own sexual orientation."
So, I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for axe_bobo, but he's the only one who can find out by sitting down with a specialist.

Good luck, axe_bobo, whatever you decide to do... 🙂

Thanks for the advice, Anne Hathaway. 🙂
It’s almost been two weeks since I started this thread.
I've been taking some of the advice people gave me here, and things are... let's just say they've improved a little bit. First and foremost, I've started finding the female body attractive. I notice breasts—you know, that softness, the curves, how they move when women walk—and butts and legs too. I won't go into graphic detail, but yeah, I'm more attracted to women than I used to be. It isn't quite the same kind of arousal I feel toward men, but it's definitely stronger than before. Even my attraction to men has dipped, which I didn't really expect—not a total wipeout, but definitely noticeable. It's tough, though. It feels a bit like giving an addict exactly what they crave most, but if you've made up your mind that you want to be "normal," you just have to fight for it. I had a few slip-ups at first, but the further I go, the easier it gets. You just learn how to live with it and manage it.

EDIT:
Just so we're clear, it's not like this is possible in such a tiny window of time. If I'm managing it, it doesn't mean everyone can just snap their fingers and do it. I have to emphasize that I've actually been wrestling with this for several months now, like I mentioned in my very first post.

Chris Howard4
Okay, let me drift off-topic for a second here—I can only imagine how tough it was growing up in a family like that. Honestly? I believe God exists and I have respect for Him, but I’m just not buying into organized religion. To me, God is just another being who makes mistakes. I mean, nobody is perfect, right? If perfection actually existed, life would be flawless—no murders, no disasters, nothing. So, I figure even He probably messed up a few things along the way. 😛
And man, looking back at priests from a hundred years ago... they were so dedicated to their faith, unlike what you see today. Now, you just see them in the news, driving around in their BMWs and stuff... It feels more like they're chasing the paycheck than anything else, though I'm not saying there aren't people hiding things, per se. I remember seeing some news about a church tax thing where all the clergy just absolutely lost their minds... but anyway, that's a whole other rabbit hole.

Now, about the other thing. Regardless of how much guys might turn me on, I fall in love with women. With guys, it’s strictly physical for me—just sex and that's it. But when I catch feelings for a girl, I look into her eyes and I can see an entire lifetime ahead of us, from the very first date until the very end. I’ve totally embraced who I am. It’s like my body says one thing, but my heart says another. I don't care what society thinks; this is who I am, take it or leave it. I'm really glad you’ve accepted yourself, too. From what I’ve read and gathered, our situations are similar, even if they aren't identical. I’m not denying my feelings at all—that’s literally what I'm saying. Why on earth would I lie about this when I'm actively trying to figure it all out, you know?

placidwolf2 said:I feel like I’m constantly battling this identity crisis. For the longest time, I’ve always been exclusively into guys, but then there are these phases where I find myself falling for a woman. It usually happens out of nowhere—just a passing thing—but then suddenly she’s all I can think about for days, and I’m just counting down the minutes until I see her again. Meanwhile, everything with my boyfriend seems totally fine, except maybe when we're being intimate; I catch myself imagining his touch is actually hers, though he has absolutely no clue what's going on in my head. Then, just as quickly as it started, the feeling fades. I can't really explain it. I just know I don't have the guts to approach any of these women I find attractive, even though a part of me really wants to. I'm terrified that if I actually tried, I might find out I actually enjoy physical contact with them, and that scares the hell out of me. I’ve always told myself I was only attracted to men, and I’d really prefer to keep it that way. Things are great with my boyfriend, and I tend to view these feelings as just some passing phase that might eventually disappear on its own, so why risk everything? What do you guys think? Is it worth taking the leap to figure out who I really am, or should I just keep playing it safe and stay the course as I have been?

Oh man, reading this... it hits way too close to home. Honestly, it sounds so much like me. When I'm totally wrapped up in a guy, I'm only looking at dudes. But the second I'm caught up with a girl, it's strictly women. I don't even know how to put it into words, it's so hard to define those vibes. One day it's one way, the next day it's totally different, the third day it's somewhere in the middle, and the fourth day I'm a whole different person again. It’s just... asymmetrical. Everything is just a total mess, honestly...

First off, let me just say—I am 100% not trolling here. This isn't some joke. It’s a situation that’s been eating at me for a while now, and honestly, I haven't felt comfortable opening up to anyone because... well, people can be judgmental. (Kind of like how flexxx acts).

Anyway, I'm 19.

Also, I really do fall for girls. In fact, there's a huge chance that once I'm actually in a relationship and totally head-over-heels for someone, this whole issue might just vanish. I've had girlfriends before.

Fourthly—and maybe I didn't phrase this right earlier—but I don't just "believe" things have changed, I *know* it. I can feel the difference in myself. I used to be this super quiet, withdrawn kid, but now I'm finally coming out of my shell.

Fifthly... well, back when I hit puberty, I was mostly attracted to girls. But over the years, something feels like it shifted, like a glitch occurred, and suddenly I started finding guys attractive too. Now that I'm trying to work through it, everything feels totally muddled and I'm just lost on what to do next.

Drew Bennett2 said:No, don't mess around with your mental and physical well-being. Just find yourself a boyfriend, get to know who you really are, embrace it, and start enjoying life.

I went through that exact same phase myself. Over time, it became crystal clear to me that there was no way I could change; that attraction to the same sex is just a steady thing that exists outside of your willpower.... eventually, I broke up with my girlfriend and went to see a psychologist to ask if I was "normal." They confirmed that everything was perfectly fine, and well, here I am today, feeling great.

Good luck with everything 👍.

Must be nice. That’s the thing—I *have* accepted it, but I still can't wrap my head around it. It's like, I'm miserable either way. Dating girls? Nothing. Being with guys? Well, that's just how things are. I'm honestly at a loss.

redharbor9 said:You didn't even say how old you are.

Does that even matter?

Man, I’ve been wrestling with this one thing for what feels like forever, and honestly, I just don't know how to fix it. Looking at my own orientation, I’m either gay or bisexual—it kind of fluctuates—and it's starting to really get under my skin. Every single day, walking down the street, I hear people shouting things like, "What's wrong with those queers?" or "Someone should teach them a lesson," or "How can they even show their faces in public?" Look, I try to brush it off, I really do. I tell myself, "Hey, they're just being hateful, but hey, those people are still humans, even if they are the way they are." At first, I was fine with it. Just thought, *whatever, it is what it is, right?* I figured I just had to toughen up and deal with the noise. But after a while, it started eating at me. It created this constant, restless anxiety inside my chest. I see couples everywhere—just happy, totally in love—and I start spiraling. Like, why? Why did this happen to me? Why can't I feel what everyone else feels, you know? That spark with a woman? God, I just want to have a girlfriend. Not a boyfriend. I want to start a normal life, not... whatever this is. Did I even get a choice in the matter? Heck no! Eventually, I just hit a breaking point and told myself, "I don't want this." I don't want to be who I am. I just want a regular life with a girl who loves me, someone I can protect and look after. I want to love her, I want her body to drive me crazy, I want to be a man who loves women. But no matter how hard I try, it feels like I’m tethered to the ground. Like it's some impossible dream I'll never reach. Honestly, I’d rather not exist than keep living like this. I’ve been fighting this battle for so long now. I’ve tried watching lesbian porn—strictly girls—trying to ignore men entirely, doing my own thing to nothing but women, trying to figure out what makes their bodies exciting to me. After months of pure misery and struggling through it, I thought I finally made progress. I started feeling something for women, but it’s mostly just affection; their bodies only turn me on a little bit. Now everything is just a massive, confusing mess. Sometimes it's guys, sometimes it's girls. I'm totally lost and I don't know where to go from here. I know it sounds silly or unrealistic, but that’s truly how I feel. Right now, I just feel like the most pathetic creature on earth. I’m desperate.

So, I guess what I'm asking is... is it actually possible to change your sexual orientation?

Has anyone else ever gone through something similar? What does it even take to make a change like that?
How much time does it actually take? Has anyone ever truly succeeded? Please, seriously, any info would help me out. I honestly don't care if I end up being a firm bisexual or straight, as long as I'm not gay.