How to hold a normal conversation without it being awkward?
in Psychology ·
Jessica Wood96 said:Alright, I've decided to throw another question out there,
So, look—whether it’s under some kind of "pressure" or just talking to strangers or even people I've known forever, I just freeze up. I can't talk normally...
It feels like I'm forcing everything, like if I actually spoke like my true self, someone would judge me or give me a weird look. I know I'm not stupid and I know how to communicate, but this struggle is real...
It happens when I'm hanging out with friends too, especially if I'm with someone I don't vibe with or just a total stranger. It's incredibly frustrating; I really don't need this. I end up talking way too quiet, way too fast, and half the time I just forget what I was even trying to say. I tell myself a million times, "Stop overthinking it, just talk." But then comes this wall where I can't even discuss problems or solve anything. I just shut down and act like the bad guy when things get serious, whether it's with a girl or at home, usually with my mom.
I end up putting myself down. I stay silent. I don't even snap back at shitty comments made toward me after a failed conversation. Then I spend the next hour or two just beating myself up, thinking, "Why didn't I say this? Why didn't I say that?" I love being alone, just peaceful and without the stress. This is eating at me. If anyone gets what I'm going through, please, try to explain why this happens. Like I said, I'm not crazy and I'm not some kid who *doesn't want* to talk—it's just that once I feel this way in a situation, I'm stuck. There's no way out.
Look, when you start talking to someone you don't know, just try to clear your head of everything... forget about your own self-image, forget what other people think of you, and stop worrying about what the person in front of you thinks. Your real issue is that you're thinking WAY too much. You have to empty your mind and just go slow... ask them about their life, their school, their job, their family, maybe even what kind of car they drive... crack a little joke to break the ice. Like, if you're sitting at a Starbucks, just tell the barista,😁hey, can I get a latte and maybe a muffin... or something like that. You aren't going to fix this fear of strangers by overanalyzing things; in fact, you'll do the exact opposite if you keep doing that!!!👍