Posts by Walter Evans3

She refuses to take anything besides her blood pressure medication... she won't touch a single other pill, even when she’s clearly in pain. We actually made an agreement to go see her doctor first without her—just to sit down and explain the situation—and then we'll bring her in under the guise of a routine checkup for her "medication."
It hasn't stopped... today feels like we're right back at square one. 😢

The hospital isn't an option, period. My entire family is on the same page about that because we all know how those places operate—you either lose your mind entirely or you just wither away from pure heartbreak. Last night, she finally had it with him and laid down the law: if he won't come to her, she’s done talking to him and done seeing him altogether. She hasn't said a word to him since, which is unusual considering she’s usually up and running by 7:00 AM sharp. Does this mean he might actually change his ways on his own, or am I just kidding myself? 😢

What exactly should we tell her regarding why the doctor showed up, especially since she’s making it clear she has no interest in hearing from him? It seems she is merely speaking to him—listening to his voice without actually seeing him there... she insists they met once sometime in the past, though she won't say when exactly that was.

In any case, I really appreciate the advice; I'll pass this along to the rest of the group and hopefully someone will actually step up and do something about it..

Look, I honestly have no idea who her doctor is or how I’m even supposed to get in touch with them since I don't know this city at all; I moved away when I was just a kid and only make it back once a year for about a week, while everyone else stays put and seemingly refuses to lift a finger... I really believed that my coming to visit would make a difference, but now it feels like things might actually be getting worse for her. She has such a massive family, with children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, yet no one seems to be making an effort to help her, or even bother visiting her, whereas I—living 311 miles far away from here while everyone else is right next door—am the only one who has actually tried to do something, which meant posting a question here anonymously just to get some clarity on what we need to do, because when I first arrived, I was completely blindsided by shock and disbelief, and frankly, I just had no clue what was happening

I wanted to check in with an update—for the last few days, we’ve mostly been pretending everything is fine, or at least I have been since I’ve been by her side 24/7, which is honestly starting to wear me down. She’s been claiming there are listening devices hidden all over her apartment and that he can hear everything—could this be schizophrenia? She eventually gave me a full name for this man, and when I brought it up to my mother, she told me the man actually passed away six years ago. Apparently, he had asked her to marry him about ten years ago, but she turned him down back then because she felt he was just trying to exploit her—his plan was to move into her place, sell his own house, and hand all the cash over to his kids. Now, though, she insists he is a wonderful person.
To make a long story short, she barely mentioned him on Wednesday or Thursday, so I thought she was finally calming down, but then Friday hit like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere, she starts planning to buy rings, booking a venue, and even calling a cousin—who had absolutely no idea what was happening—to drive them around to get everything done. When I tried to step in and tell her not to waste money like this, she got upset and spent the rest of the day in tears, though I didn't have the heart to tell her that the man isn't even alive. When she woke up Saturday morning and told her aunt, who lives with us, things really boiled over. Her aunt wasn't screaming, but she was speaking with this frantic, nervous energy, trying to explain that this man doesn't exist and that she’s just driving everyone crazy. That caused her to break down, and things were quiet until this morning, when she snapped that she doesn't care if we don't want her to marry him; she’s going to do it regardless. Now, we’re starting to fear that this whole "wedding" obsession might have nothing to do with his death. 😢 😢 😢 😢 By the way, she isn't sleeping at all, she's hardly eating, and she's already lost about nine pounds. And when we suggested that maybe it’s time to go talk to a professional, she just looked at us like we were the ones losing our minds. 😳/

Honestly, I don't think we have any imagination left... it isn't that we lack creativity, it's just that this behavior simply isn't normal... she talks about him all day long... he didn't show up for lunch, so now she’s feeling down, yet she’s waiting until 5:00 PM to take him to meet her other daughter, and she wants to bring me along as if I were her grandson... I mean, I really don't know what to make of it... but I suppose it's better if I go with her rather than letting her go alone, if only so I can look out for her. 😳/

I don't believe she's trying to test us, because she keeps talking to "him" even when there isn't anyone else in the house...

As for the medication, I wouldn't know; I don't understand how those things work, and I certainly wouldn't dream of administering anything without a doctor's guidance...

I'm really not sure what to make of this... we're right in the middle of prepping lunch and she mentions that he's joining us too... so we've gone ahead and set an extra place at the table 😢 I honestly don't know how I'll handle it... is it possible that I might actually pass away from the sheer anxiety of having to introduce myself to someone who feels completely invisible to me?

fadedheron892 said:If we're talking about old-age dementia—you know, that whole thing where you forget who you are, where you're standing, or even what time it is—then yeah, there’s no cure for that, but you seriously need to get her to a psychiatrist because maybe they've got some meds to help manage that kind of behavior.

She actually knows exactly who she is and where she stands, yet she seems to be interacting with this imaginary persona, someone she is constantly trying to reach, while in reality, she is just wandering through the streets of Chicago all by herself.

We’ve tried suggesting she see a doctor, but she just shuts down whenever we bring it up. I’ve come to stay with them for about a week, and looking at her situation this morning really hit me hard. I sat down beside her and we were having a perfectly normal conversation at first, but then she suddenly started talking about him again—insisting that even though everyone tells her he isn't real, she knows deep down that he is. She just broke down in tears because she feels like the whole world thinks she’s lost her mind. Then, out of nowhere, she thought he "called" her, so she pressed her hand to her ear and started having a full conversation with him. It truly breaks my heart to witness. I suggested she come stay with me for a while to get a change of scenery and be around some company, but she snapped back saying she couldn't leave because she needs to stay here to marry him. I am honestly at a loss for words; how am I even supposed to react to things like this? Should I validate what she's feeling, or should I try to correct her? 😢

So, my 83-year-old grandmother—who has always been incredibly sharp and well-read—has recently started acting quite strangely. She lives with her daughter, who works long hours and is rarely home, while the rest of the family only drops by once a week for short visits, so she spends a lot of time alone. Now we’re facing a real crisis because she suddenly announced to everyone that she’s getting married, which came as a massive shock to the whole family. She’s started going out and staying away from the house for an hour or two at a time, and we were all convinced she was out with this supposed fiancé, but then we discovered that he doesn't actually exist!!! She has begun inventing all sorts of things; she wanders off, stays out late, talks to herself on the street or in the house, and at night she'll lie in bed laughing, talking, or crying. She often holds her hand up to her ear and insists that we just can't see the receiver, claiming it’s a "military" earpiece that only she and her "boyfriend" can perceive... if anyone suggests she's just talking to herself, she gets defensive and laughs it off as if it isn't true. I tried a different approach once—when she said this person wanted to meet me, I told her I was ready, but when I actually got dressed, she told me "he" couldn't make it. Essentially, we've all come to the conclusion that this is like an imaginary friend for a child, but nobody knows how to handle it or how to talk to her about it. As her granddaughter, this is especially painful because, I have to emphasize, she was always such an intelligent, educated woman, and I never expected this to happen; plus, she is putting herself in danger by walking around at night, especially since her vision isn't what it used to be. We don't live close by, so unfortunately I can only visit a few times a year, but she always used to look forward to seeing me; now, she can hardly wait to lock herself in her room to talk to this imaginary person... I am deeply worried about her, and if anyone knows what kind of condition this might be, please help me... thank you in advance!