6 posts shown.
Yeah, right
The best part? Apparently, Dad is sending money home. When I actually asked her why I never see a cent of it, she claimed she’s spending it all on my clothes and food 🙄
I mean, I get some clothes here and there—usually stuff my brother outgrows immediately—but it’s far from a monthly shopping spree. And don't even get me started on the food situation. To me, having lunch and dinner isn't a luxury; it's just basic living. It feels like she's just using that as a convenient excuse to dodge the question...
It’s funny—whenever he asks her for a little favor, she rolls out the red carpet. But because those are just tiny trifles, while I’m over here pushing back on the heavy lifting—the stuff that actually takes real time and effort—I end up looking like the difficult one. It’s a rigged game; she treats my multi-hour projects and his five-minute errands as if they carry the exact same weight.
Jerry Martinez5 said:Exactly. For me, the absolute worst part is my mom only letting me out on Saturdays, and even then, only until 10 PM. She wouldn't even let me go to a friend's cabin for the weekend. Just that, and nothing else.
I guess I agree with what Basta wrote. Though, I see things a bit differently: your brother is older, finished high school, and isn't working? I suspect she treats him like a total washout, which is why she expects zero from him. She expects way more from you, so she's being way harder on you than he is. What’s the deal with college? Does she actually want you to enroll?
(if she doesn't, I still strongly suggest you go for it. There's nothing better to recommend to a 16-year-old who's doing well in school 👍)
Regarding those chores you mentioned (don't get mad at me), based on your description, she isn't giving you much to do. That's actually more work than most guys usually get, but you probably knock it all out in an hour or two a day, right? It sucks that she criticizes you afterward instead of just saying thanks. And it sucks that she makes such a massive distinction between you and your brother. But again: she treats him like a failure. Would she even make him vacuum the house if she ordered him to? Can she even order him to do anything?
My advice is to just grit your teeth and stop arguing with her. If you have the guts, go to that cabin. Next Saturday, if you can, try coming home by midnight. Making you do chores isn't actually the problem—I really mean that. In ten years, you might actually be grateful (and your future girlfriend will definitely be grateful 🙂). It's a mess that she only gives you $17 a week, though I don't know how much money you guys have. If things aren't tight, which I assume you know, insist on getting the same as your brother. (If you start fighting for it, you won't get it easily... but it's worth the fight)
I really wish you'd realize your brother isn't benefiting from this approach either. She's spoiled him, and I doubt it'll do him any good in the long run.
You aren't going to please her, no matter what. Just like Basta said. Realize she's just... messed up, maybe from the divorce or whatever else 😢. Whatever you do, don't let your grades slip. I know I sound like a nag, but damn, it's a fact: your success in school and whether you go to college determines how you're going to live for the next 70 years 🤷
Well, money isn't an issue here because my brother always gets whatever he wants—he got a car for his 18th birthday, and at 16, he got a motorcycle, which definitely wasn't cheap. If she can afford her own cigarettes, she can certainly afford to give me a bit more.
I’ve already tried telling her—it's useless, she just won't listen. She constantly gets on my case, acting as if I'm somehow the one behaving like an emotional vampire.
I'm 16. I don't live with my old man—he isn't even in the States right now. It’s not like I can just go out and be independent at my age. Even if I managed to pick up some extra shifts for the holidays and through the summer, it still wouldn't be nearly enough.
Let me break this down briefly. I live with my brother and my mother. Our relationship is basically a Cinderella story—and not the fairy tale kind. It’s a disaster. To put it bluntly, she treats me like garbage, while my brother is the golden child. He doesn't openly hate me, but when I actually need a hand with something, he acts like we're strangers. There’s no reason for it; I’m a decent kid—not rude, not lazy, none of that. My grades have always been solid—straight As in middle school, mostly As and Bs now in high school—so there aren't any major issues there. But every single day when I get home from school, I’m expected to handle chores that would make most people do a double-take. For instance, I get home, and before my mother gets back around 4:00 PM, I have to wash the dishes, start the laundry, hang it up, fold the dry clothes, and lately, even organize her things. If I put something back in the wrong spot because I don't know her specific system, she blows up at me, calling me incompetent or stupid. It's constant. I’m expected to take out the trash, vacuum and clean both my room and hers (!) twice a week, mop the floors, you name it. Meanwhile, my brother doesn't have to lift a finger; he isn't in school and doesn't work, so he just sits around all day on his PC or watching TV. And when my mother finally walks through the door, she’s never satisfied. She always finds something to nitpick—why this wasn't done a certain way or how I could have done better. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time she gave me a shred of praise. So, after she finishes criticizing my housework, I try to get some studying done, then ask if I can go out for a bit in the evening—maybe grab coffee or see friends—but she won't let me go out for more than once a week. She claims I need to study and that I'll ruin my GPA if I don't 🙄
On weekends, she lets me go out Saturday night, though I rarely have the cash to do anything since my weekly allowance is only $17, which barely covers lunch at school or supplies like notebooks and photocopies. On top of that, she expects me to have enough left over for coffee on Saturdays. That is physically impossible. Meanwhile, she gives my brother whatever he wants, around $33, without a second thought because "he's older and has more needs." He can be out 24/7. I'm grounded by 10:00 PM on Saturdays, no exceptions. He stays out whenever he feels like it; once he even stumbled in at 5:00 AM drunk, and she didn't even notice because she was asleep. She just asked him when he got in, and whatever he said, it didn't matter. If I had done that, I would have been grounded for a month. Now, my friends are inviting me to a cabin for New Year's Day, and when I asked if I could go, she naturally said no. When I asked why she's constantly so harsh with me, she just told me to look at how I act and try to be more like my brother 😕 (meaning, she thinks I should stop complaining about how she treats me)
The absolute worst part happened this past summer. I took on a job to save up for a trip to Florida, and I actually managed to earn some money. She even let me go on the trip, which was great. I kept my cash in my wallet, but then $333 went missing. When I told her, she acted like she felt bad for me, only for me to find that exact money in my brother's possession. Her response? She just told him to give it back to me. Thinking about her makes me sick. I don't know what to do, but I can't live like this anymore. Please, I need advice before I lose my mind.