My partner's past
in Psychology ·
Honestly guys, that’s exactly how I was feeling. Maybe I was just dealing with some insecurities, but it’s finally clicking for me now!!
Thanks so much!!!
Thanks so much!!!
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My partner's past
in Psychology ·
I stumbled upon this thread while browsing some forums. I’m a guy, and while I know this isn't everyone's priority, I’m dealing with the exact same thing. We’ve been together for about two months now. I know there were other guys before me—I'm fully aware of that—and I really value how hard my partner tries to be honest with me. I love that we can talk openly about this stuff. I’ve had relationships before, but I’ve never felt anything quite like this with her. I know she feels the same way; she’s proven her trustworthiness a thousand times over during these two months. We’ve actually known each other for five years and I've always liked her, but for one reason or another, we just couldn't admit our feelings until recently.
I know honesty is the foundation of any relationship, but certain things about her past are really hurting me. I was in a long-term relationship that ended two years ago, and back then, her past didn't bother me at all. Now, for the first time, I'm hitting these emotions and I don't like it one bit. It feels like I'm turning into someone I've spent my whole life looking down on. My girlfriend was completely transparent with me. After I pushed her (and honestly, I don't know what possessed me to be so tactless and blunt), she told me exactly how many guys she'd been with. Her number was two—which isn't even high by any stretch of the imagination—but in that moment, it hit me hard. She was visibly shaken by my reaction; she felt dirty and insulted, thinking I was judging her character. I feel terrible for putting her through that, but at the same time, her past is causing me genuine pain. I'm actually scared of myself. Is this normal? Am I just obsessing over nothing? The fear comes from the fact that I've never felt this way before. Can anyone help? It was clearly an emotional outburst triggered by jealousy, and I'm struggling. Please, I need some advice.
I know honesty is the foundation of any relationship, but certain things about her past are really hurting me. I was in a long-term relationship that ended two years ago, and back then, her past didn't bother me at all. Now, for the first time, I'm hitting these emotions and I don't like it one bit. It feels like I'm turning into someone I've spent my whole life looking down on. My girlfriend was completely transparent with me. After I pushed her (and honestly, I don't know what possessed me to be so tactless and blunt), she told me exactly how many guys she'd been with. Her number was two—which isn't even high by any stretch of the imagination—but in that moment, it hit me hard. She was visibly shaken by my reaction; she felt dirty and insulted, thinking I was judging her character. I feel terrible for putting her through that, but at the same time, her past is causing me genuine pain. I'm actually scared of myself. Is this normal? Am I just obsessing over nothing? The fear comes from the fact that I've never felt this way before. Can anyone help? It was clearly an emotional outburst triggered by jealousy, and I'm struggling. Please, I need some advice.