Posts by Lisa Smith7

I find myself agreeing with most of what’s been said here. It’s exhausting watching crowds of people obsess over whether their lives have any purpose at all, or complaining about how much they hate studying, or claiming they're miserable—all without having the slightest clue why... It’s almost as if people sit around actively searching for reasons to feel depressed and unhappy 🙂
If you really asked me, I wouldn’t choose to be born again, though I won't pretend I haven't spent my life whining about it from day one.
Fine, I’ve vented on other threads too, but this particular phobia makes everything feel so much more bitter than it needs to be 🤣

briskcobra12 said:I honestly hope time does its thing, I really do, but let’s be real—time isn't going to fix everything if I don't step up and help it along. Every single day I find myself stuck in this loop, questioning why I even bother, and part of me is terrified that time alone won't be enough to heal this mess without my input... Is it actually possible that I'm going through puberty right now? Like, seriously, at nineteen? That's just ridiculous.

It’s entirely plausible. Honestly, you’re only nineteen. You’re practically still navigating puberty at this point.

But I know that’s simply impossible.

You can’t move forward with that kind of mindset. It’s a dead end. At some point, you just have to snap out of it and make a choice about what you actually want from this life. You have to look yourself in the mirror and say, "I can do this, and I am going to do this," rather than constantly whispering that it's impossible. I spent years telling myself the same old excuses while sitting in a cubicle in Chicago, waiting for permission to succeed. It never comes. You have to decide.
Nothing is going to change overnight. It doesn't work that way. But right now, you actually have a choice in how you want to spend the rest of your years. Decide what kind of person you want to be. Then, put in the work to actually become that person. Don't do it for some boss at Goldman Sachs or to impress your neighbors in Chicago. Do it for yourself. I know. It’s an uphill battle. It's exhausting. But it can be done.

briskcobra12 said:Also, I should probably mention that staying focused on college and actually hitting the books is becoming impossible when my head is such a complete wreck. I used to have actual goals, you know? I was driven. Now, I just wake up, drift through the day, and go to bed at night just to feel like I survived another twenty-four hours. It’s a cycle. And look, I get it—plenty of people are dealing with much heavier stuff, but this constant mental fog is honestly nauseating. I feel totally useless right now.😢

They’ve already told you everything you need to hear.
Let’s be honest, most of us didn't exactly find studying for our degrees to be some grand joy. 🙂
Try setting a tiny, manageable goal—like passing one specific exam or just reading two or three pages of your textbook. If you catch yourself spiraling into self-pity while you're trying to work, stop. Just stop. Take a deep breath and ask yourself what that's actually accomplishing. You can either sit there wallowing and feeling miserable, or you can actually learn something. I've been there, and I know how brutal it feels, but you have to try to look at things logically in those moments. You can spend your time mourning your past, or you can give it your all so your future doesn't end up looking just like it does now.🙂

briskcobra12 said:So, I was talking to some actual professors the other day—real academics, mind you—and they were out here preaching that high school is where you basically bake your character in stone. They were insisting that who you are during those four years is exactly who you’ll be for the rest of your life. Honestly? That hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s such a heavy, almost fatalistic thing to say, right? Like, once you hit eighteen, you're just stuck with whatever version of yourself showed up to homeroom. It’s a pretty grim way to look at growing up.😢

That individual is likely just deeply insecure. They haven't made a single step of progress since their high school days. It’s frankly pathetic that people like that are allowed to teach children in our public schools. I've encountered far too many stunted, small-minded professors who seem to think the only way to soothe their own massive egos is by picking on their students.
Nineteen years old. It’s an age where you think you’ve finally arrived, yet you haven't even left the driveway. At nineteen, you can still fundamentally reshape who you are. I remember being that age, sitting in a dusty diner in Chicago, convinced the world owed me everything while having absolutely nothing to offer it. I was certain my temperament was set in stone. It wasn't. You have enough plasticity left in your soul to tear down the old structures and build something entirely different. Don't let anyone tell you your nature is fixed. It isn't. Not yet. 😉
I know I’m going to be there for you now. 🙂 Let’s be honest—at this stage of life, most of us are still just kids deep down. Especially those college freshmen wandering around campus like they actually know what they're doing. We're all just playing dress-up in adult clothes, pretending we have a clue. 😉

briskcobra12 said:And honestly, that whole cliché about how you're stuck being the same person you were in high school? It’s been eating at me. If there's any truth to that, then I'm seriously 😢... Look, I’ve never gone out of my way to insult anyone—not even that one guy I can't stand. I don't wish bad luck on anyone. Deep down, I’m a believer, but I just can't seem to find my way back to church. It's hard when this constant, gnawing anger just won't let up. To make matters worse, I spent four years in a classroom environment that was basically a pressure cooker, and now I can't help but feel like the whole world operates that way. It makes me want to close myself off from everyone. I'm just disappointed in people, plain and simple. I've become "cold" toward others, and let's be real, that isn't the true ME.

Where on earth did you hear that nonsense? 😕 🤣 Go run a poll with people over twenty and you'll see firsthand that it's absolutely not how the world works. 😉

steelskipper5 said:There are actually studies out there looking at how—and why—decent people end up doing incredibly messed up things. It’s not exactly a simple equation, I guess.

But honestly, why anyone would think they aren't a good person... I don't think that really needs explaining. I mean, who could actually live with themselves if they thought they were just some pure evil, total piece of trash?
That's why we all just make up these ridiculous excuses for ourselves.

I have to disagree. I spent years convinced I was one of those people, and honestly, it didn't bother me much at the time. Eventually, I realized I was wrong—someone finally held up a mirror to me, so to speak—but even now, my idea of what makes a "good person" probably wouldn't pass muster with the general public.🙄

coastalhound4 said:If you ignore the one decent relationship I had back in my teens, everything else has just been a series of pathetic attempts at something with people who—either bluntly or through some subtle hints—made it clear they were totally messed up and a relationship wouldn't work. In the last eight years, there haven't been many; maybe two, three cases tops, and they always end the exact same way.

Why do people even use lines like that? Is there an actual psychological basis for saying stuff like "It's not you, it's me," "I'm just broken," or any of those other low-key insults?
Aside from being a total slap in the face to your intelligence, it basically implies: you're so incredibly repulsive that I can't even bring myself to tell you directly.

I don't know how much weight to give to standard Psychology textbooks, but what are the odds that this supposed "brokenness" is actually true? Or is it all just a cover-up, like I suggested above?

I still don't quite grasp why you process it—or rather, why your mind translates it—that way. Sure, there are people who weaponize those statements, but not everyone. Look, I can tell you that some people genuinely mean it when they say they're a mess, but you won't believe me anyway. We'd just end up going in circles. 👋

It feels like we’re circling back to that whole debate about whether it's worth trying to save someone who is emotionally wrecked or not.🤣
I’ve already made my position clear: I fall into that category myself.
As someone mentioned earlier, both scenarios—A and B—are entirely on the table.

I honestly don't get it. When I tell someone that I am this way, and I suggest it might be smarter for them to move on—which is quite literally the most sincere advice I can give—they almost always take it the wrong way. They decide I’m just some arrogant jerk who thinks I'm too good for them. It's exhausting.

The "normal" crowd makes up maybe 20 percent of the population at most. There are actual statistics to back that up.

According to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary: "normal" refers to what aligns with the standard, the regular, the customary, or the typical. 😁