3 posts shown.
Harold Brown49 said:Exactly.🙂
But @Rebecca Miller9
what’s your relationship with your mother like? Is it a typical family dynamic involving people aged 35 to 70? 🙂
To answer your question: I'm sorry you don't realize that interacting with older people can happen through many avenues besides just visiting your parents.
If you're feeling lost, there are plenty of ways—social clubs, sports leagues, even playing Bridge, for instance.
And...you completely missed the point. Even within my own circle of male friends, I never bring up sleeping with someone. It always boils down to whether a woman is attractive or not, and that’s where the conversation ends. (We haven't once commented on how a woman in her 60s looks, and no offense intended to anyone). Explicit comments like that aren't in our repertoire; if I ever make one, it's only because a girl is badgering me until I finally give in and confirm what she's already insisting is true.
I believe I've answered sufficiently and clarified everything that needed addressing.
I appreciate everyone who took the time to actually read through my points and try to understand where I'm coming from. To keep things brief, I’ll address a few of the questions and opinions raised here.
-I don't think there's anything wrong with me. That's just my girlfriend's take. Personally, much like any other "madman," I consider myself perfectly sane. :-)
-I don't pace around the house or act like I'm looking for a fight. What I actually do is wait until I've been nudged repeatedly before admitting a girl is attractive; if you ask if I'd sleep with her, I simply say I would if I were single.
-I don't doubt myself. The point of this post isn't about my own self-doubt, but rather about how other people interpret my statements and all the explanations I provided alongside them.
-alexandrinha—you completely missed the mark on this one. :-)
It's clear that very few people truly take the time to read posts like this, so thanks again to those who actually did.
I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.
To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.
On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.
To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.
I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.