Am I normal for noticing things that don't seem right?

I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.

To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.

On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.

To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.

I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.

Rebecca Miller9 said:I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.

To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.

On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.

To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.

I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.

Your behavior is twisted.

Spending seven years with a woman who takes a simple, passing remark and turns it into a full-blown psychological autopsy—specifically one designed to label you as deviant—is, quite frankly, twisted.

Nicholas King said:Your behavior is twisted.

Spending seven years with a woman who takes a simple, passing remark and turns it into a full-blown psychological autopsy—specifically one designed to label you as deviant—is, quite frankly, twisted.

Honestly, I was just going to say that the young lady is incredibly dim-witted, but since you’ve gone and backed it up with actual logic, I suppose I’ll sign off on that too.☕

Honestly, there’s something really off about how you’re acting—you’re starting to give off major psychopath vibes. No joke.

It’s not even about some 60-year-old woman; it’s just that you’re constantly making excuses over the most trivial, tiny things.

Rebecca Miller9 said:I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.

To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.

On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.

To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.

I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.

Wait, if the meeting included people aged 35 to 70, how old are you exactly?
P.S. Honestly, you sound like a total immature jerk. What business do you have commenting to your girlfriend about which woman looks good or who you would flirt with? She isn't some idiot friend you grab a beer with at a pub🙄
or whatever. What could possibly fascinate you so much about some random old lady that you'd hold onto that information all the way home and then bring it into the house?

Simply put, men who focus too heavily on physical appearance (especially as they reach a certain maturity) are shallow people, and they often possess many other traits linked to that vanity.
Thinking: "I'd go for anyone from 16 to 66, as long as they look good."

That is how they think. Total idiots. ☕
I don't know any emotionally stable woman who would find that acceptable.
A woman might think: "How obsessed with looks is he? If I ever get pregnant😲, gain weight, or change physically, I bet he'll just think—'ugh, she's unattractive or below average'🙂>👎"...and you wonder if he might even cheat on you later.🤷"

It makes you look like a complete degenerate.
If a guy told me he wanted to flirt with someone, I would kick him out of the house immediately...
Quite simply, it is only natural for sensitive people to feel that their partner is the most beautiful and desirable person in the world. Realizing that he views things so differently causes, at the very least, a bit of hurt, if not outright fury...

Adam Miller46 said:Wait, if the meeting included people aged 35 to 70, how old are you exactly?
P.S. Honestly, you sound like a total immature jerk. What business do you have commenting to your girlfriend about which woman looks good or who you would flirt with? She isn't some idiot friend you grab a beer with at a pub🙄
or whatever. What could possibly fascinate you so much about some random old lady that you'd hold onto that information all the way home and then bring it into the house?

Simply put, men who focus too heavily on physical appearance (especially as they reach a certain maturity) are shallow people, and they often possess many other traits linked to that vanity.
Thinking: "I'd go for anyone from 16 to 66, as long as they look good."

That is how they think. Total idiots. ☕
I don't know any emotionally stable woman who would find that acceptable.
A woman might think: "How obsessed with looks is he? If I ever get pregnant😲, gain weight, or change physically, I bet he'll just think—'ugh, she's unattractive or below average'🙂>👎"...and you wonder if he might even cheat on you later.🤷"

It makes you look like a complete degenerate.
If a guy told me he wanted to flirt with someone, I would kick him out of the house immediately...
Quite simply, it is only natural for sensitive people to feel that their partner is the most beautiful and desirable person in the world. Realizing that he views things so differently causes, at the very least, a bit of hurt, if not outright fury...

By "sensitive," do you really just mean "insecure"? 🤔

Dennis Bailey2 said:By "sensitive," do you really just mean "insecure"? 🤔

No. By emotional, I mean that I simply cannot imagine being with anyone else besides my partner. Therefore, I expect him to feel exactly the same way about me.
☕

Nicholas King said:Your behavior is twisted.

Spending seven years with a woman who takes a simple, passing remark and turns it into a full-blown psychological autopsy—specifically one designed to label you as deviant—is, quite frankly, twisted.

Don't go thinking you can outsmart female intuition. Seriously, they’ve evolved to pick up on non-verbal cues before they even realize they're doing it. It’s basically built-in software. There might actually be something to what she’s seeing here—I mean, even the OP wouldn't be making this thread if there wasn't a grain of truth in it.

Adam Miller46 said:No. By emotional, I mean that I simply cannot imagine being with anyone else besides my partner. Therefore, I expect him to feel exactly the same way about me.
☕

Based on what you described in your previous post, that doesn't sound like the case. 🤷

There is a massive difference between actually cheating—or even just contemplating it—and simply being dissatisfied with your partner. There’s also a world of difference between that and saying, "God, Vin Diesel has suchlyyyy INCREDIBLE lats, damn, he's built!" or "Wow, look at those legs on that girl!"
To me, a woman worrying that she'll gain weight during pregnancy and lose her attractiveness sounds more like a borderline pathological issue than being an "emotional person." And frankly, that person is clearly in a terrible relationship if they're actually doubting their partner will ditch them—and abandon his commitment to his own child—just because she put on five pounds. 😲

If my boyfriend lost his mind after a comment like that about Vin Diesel, thinking I was going to dump him or cheat on him with some beefy guy just because he's a skinny twig who doesn't even know where his latissimus dorsi is, then *he* would be the "insecure person," not some "sensitive type."

Some of us expect a certain level of normalcy in a relationship. We shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells or worry that sneezing at the wrong moment will make our partner think we're paving the way for an affair... 🤷

Dennis Bailey2 said:Based on what you described in your previous post, that doesn't sound like the case. 🤷

There is a massive difference between actually cheating—or even just contemplating it—and simply being dissatisfied with your partner. There’s also a world of difference between that and saying, "God, Vin Diesel has suchlyyyy INCREDIBLE lats, damn, he's built!" or "Wow, look at those legs on that girl!"
To me, a woman worrying that she'll gain weight during pregnancy and lose her attractiveness sounds more like a borderline pathological issue than being an "emotional person." And frankly, that person is clearly in a terrible relationship if they're actually doubting their partner will ditch them—and abandon his commitment to his own child—just because she put on five pounds. 😲

If my boyfriend lost his mind after a comment like that about Vin Diesel, thinking I was going to dump him or cheat on him with some beefy guy just because he's a skinny twig who doesn't even know where his latissimus dorsi is, then *he* would be the "insecure person," not some "sensitive type."

Some of us expect a certain level of normalcy in a relationship. We shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells or worry that sneezing at the wrong moment will make our partner think we're paving the way for an affair... 🤷

If my partner told me he wanted to hit on someone, and he spoke to his girlfriend like that, I would walk right out the door. Honestly, I couldn't care less what kind of legs or whatever that creature has (the one he'd be hitting on). Get out! 😠
The person I am in a happy relationship with is the most beautiful and attractive human being in the world to me. Nothing else on this planet can compare. Not Hollywood heartthrobs, not supermodels, not gods, nothing.
Maybe when I'm 30 or 40, I'll get worked up over some wannabe TV star or some random poser in town. If I want to pretend I haven't reached emotional maturity yet, fine. That's just my late puberty kicking in.

Dennis Bailey2 said:Based on what you described in your previous post, that doesn't sound like the case. 🤷

There is a massive difference between actually cheating—or even just contemplating it—and simply being dissatisfied with your partner. There’s also a world of difference between that and saying, "God, Vin Diesel has suchlyyyy INCREDIBLE lats, damn, he's built!" or "Wow, look at those legs on that girl!"
To me, a woman worrying that she'll gain weight during pregnancy and lose her attractiveness sounds more like a borderline pathological issue than being an "emotional person." And frankly, that person is clearly in a terrible relationship if they're actually doubting their partner will ditch them—and abandon his commitment to his own child—just because she put on five pounds. 😲

If my boyfriend lost his mind after a comment like that about Vin Diesel, thinking I was going to dump him or cheat on him with some beefy guy just because he's a skinny twig who doesn't even know where his latissimus dorsi is, then *he* would be the "insecure person," not some "sensitive type."

Some of us expect a certain level of normalcy in a relationship. We shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells or worry that sneezing at the wrong moment will make our partner think we're paving the way for an affair... 🤷

A woman isn't afraid of looking different during pregnancy because she views herself as attractive—in fact, she thinks she looks beautiful. She's afraid because he is unreliable. He's shallow, stupid, and obsessed with physical details. To guys like that, a 26-inch waist is always more attractive than a 49-inch waist, or if it isn't subjective, it's because that's what morons on TV promote.

Dennis Bailey2 said:Based on what you described in your previous post, that doesn't sound like the case. 🤷

There is a massive difference between actually cheating—or even just contemplating it—and simply being dissatisfied with your partner. There’s also a world of difference between that and saying, "God, Vin Diesel has suchlyyyy INCREDIBLE lats, damn, he's built!" or "Wow, look at those legs on that girl!"
To me, a woman worrying that she'll gain weight during pregnancy and lose her attractiveness sounds more like a borderline pathological issue than being an "emotional person." And frankly, that person is clearly in a terrible relationship if they're actually doubting their partner will ditch them—and abandon his commitment to his own child—just because she put on five pounds. 😲

If my boyfriend lost his mind after a comment like that about Vin Diesel, thinking I was going to dump him or cheat on him with some beefy guy just because he's a skinny twig who doesn't even know where his latissimus dorsi is, then *he* would be the "insecure person," not some "sensitive type."

Some of us expect a certain level of normalcy in a relationship. We shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells or worry that sneezing at the wrong moment will make our partner think we're paving the way for an affair... 🤷

I expect reciprocity in a relationship. If he is my best, most beautiful, most beloved, and most handsome person, then I should be at least that much to him, if not more. It’s that simple.
Whether he is insecure or just sensitive? I don't care one bit. ☕
Do you get what I'm saying now?

Why is the OP even questioning his own sanity just because of some girl's comments? It doesn't mean he's actually acting weird or anything, but if she's reacting like that, it’s clearly not hitting the mark with her. She's automatically jumping to all sorts of crazy conclusions...

Adam Miller46 said:If my partner told me he wanted to hit on someone, and he spoke to his girlfriend like that, I would walk right out the door. Honestly, I couldn't care less what kind of legs or whatever that creature has (the one he'd be hitting on). Get out! 😠
The person I am in a happy relationship with is the most beautiful and attractive human being in the world to me. Nothing else on this planet can compare. Not Hollywood heartthrobs, not supermodels, not gods, nothing.
Maybe when I'm 30 or 40, I'll get worked up over some wannabe TV star or some random poser in town. If I want to pretend I haven't reached emotional maturity yet, fine. That's just my late puberty kicking in.

A woman isn't afraid of looking different during pregnancy because she views herself as attractive—in fact, she thinks she looks beautiful. She's afraid because he is unreliable. He's shallow, stupid, and obsessed with physical details. To guys like that, a 26-inch waist is always more attractive than a 49-inch waist, or if it isn't subjective, it's because that's what morons on TV promote.

I expect reciprocity in a relationship. If he is my best, most beautiful, most beloved, and most handsome person, then I should be at least that much to him, if not more. It’s that simple.
Whether he is insecure or just sensitive? I don't care one bit. ☕
Do you get what I'm saying now?

No. I just don't get it. Seriously. I’ve spent years trying to wrap my head around people who spout the same nonsense you’re writing right now, but it’s just not happening. It doesn't click.

At thirty, I find a certain male physique just as striking as it was when I was fifteen. And when I say that, I mean it’s genuinely beautiful—not some "well, our marriage is over" kind of observation. You can look at a well-built man, or woman, the same way you’d admire a piece of fine art. Perhaps part of it is because I’m pretty stubborn about my gym routine; I actually understand the grit required to build a body like that. I appreciate the discipline and the sweat behind the results, rather than just accepting the "I was born this way" excuse.
I’ve never quite grasped this overreaction you're describing. It just doesn't add up to me.
I honestly cannot wrap my head around the logic here. Why on earth would anyone kick me out of their house just because I let slip, "Damn, he's hot"? It’s an absurd reaction.

I still say that your whole attitude just reeks of insecurity—both in yourself and in your relationship.
Look, if my guy dropped me in a room filled with fifty men who were all objectively more attractive than him, I still wouldn't cheat. It’s that simple. I can't exactly use my emotions to magically alter the objective reality that those guys are better looking. Facts are facts.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone so deeply insecure that they’d threaten to kick me out of the apartment just because I happen to mention an attractive guy in his 60s who’s actually in great shape. It's pathetic. I know people who are older than that and still more fit than most twenty-somethings. 6.2 miles They’re over 65, so if I tell him, "Hey, you're holding up pretty well for your age," what am I supposed to expect? Nothing. The guy hasn't said a single word to me in two weeks. Just total silence.
Honestly, they shouldn't even bother kicking me out. If I were dealing with an idiot like that, I’d have walked away on my own long ago.

I wouldn't even consider dating a guy if I suspected he was such a pig that he’d walk out on me just because I gained—or lost—a few pounds.

I honestly don't get this mindset—this whole "he's the only one I see" attitude. What, are we just ignoring everything else? Are telephone poles invisible now, or are you just burying your head in the dirt? 🤷 It just doesn't sit right with me. I find it completely unnatural for a healthy, grown woman who is sexually active to simply fail to notice attractive men. 🤷 They’d be on the TV, or they'd be sitting right there in the office. 🤷
That's just not going to happen. To execute. That’s a completely different conversation. We're talking about morality here—the simple fact that they just don't want to. Admit it. That’s a different issue entirely, but the first point strikes me as nothing more than some kind of narrow-minded obsession. 🤷

If a guy tells me he’d "steal her," I’m taking that as a joke—assuming that’s actually what he meant. It shouldn't be interpreted as some raw, primal urge to just devour someone. That said, I’ve had enough experience to know that sometimes a comment like that is actually a subtle invitation for a threesome. 😍 A trio where two of them are women? Just isn't my thing. 😉)

I honestly don't get it. When it comes to someone who actually means that much to you, there’s no distinction between being "sensitive" and being "insecure." To me, they aren't even different categories. I can find sensitive people interesting—even a bit charming—but I won't go anywhere near an insecure person. They’re just irritating. 🤷Especially with that jealousy they show toward innocent comments.

Regarding the original post... I find his comment perfectly normal; honestly, I hear stuff like that all the time. 🤷 The only tragic part is how UNUSUAL it is in our society for someone to actually start caring about their body and health later in life, but that’s a conversation for a different white paper... 🤷

I appreciate everyone who took the time to actually read through my points and try to understand where I'm coming from. To keep things brief, I’ll address a few of the questions and opinions raised here.
-I don't think there's anything wrong with me. That's just my girlfriend's take. Personally, much like any other "madman," I consider myself perfectly sane. :-)
-I don't pace around the house or act like I'm looking for a fight. What I actually do is wait until I've been nudged repeatedly before admitting a girl is attractive; if you ask if I'd sleep with her, I simply say I would if I were single.
-I don't doubt myself. The point of this post isn't about my own self-doubt, but rather about how other people interpret my statements and all the explanations I provided alongside them.

-alexandrinha—you completely missed the mark on this one. :-)

It's clear that very few people truly take the time to read posts like this, so thanks again to those who actually did.

Hannah White2 said:Don't go thinking you can outsmart female intuition. Seriously, they’ve evolved to pick up on non-verbal cues before they even realize they're doing it. It’s basically built-in software. There might actually be something to what she’s seeing here—I mean, even the OP wouldn't be making this thread if there wasn't a grain of truth in it.

Exactly.🙂
But @Rebecca Miller9
what’s your relationship with your mother like? Is it a typical family dynamic involving people aged 35 to 70? 🙂

Harold Brown49 said:Exactly.🙂
But @Rebecca Miller9
what’s your relationship with your mother like? Is it a typical family dynamic involving people aged 35 to 70? 🙂

To answer your question: I'm sorry you don't realize that interacting with older people can happen through many avenues besides just visiting your parents.
If you're feeling lost, there are plenty of ways—social clubs, sports leagues, even playing Bridge, for instance.

And...you completely missed the point. Even within my own circle of male friends, I never bring up sleeping with someone. It always boils down to whether a woman is attractive or not, and that’s where the conversation ends. (We haven't once commented on how a woman in her 60s looks, and no offense intended to anyone). Explicit comments like that aren't in our repertoire; if I ever make one, it's only because a girl is badgering me until I finally give in and confirm what she's already insisting is true.

I believe I've answered sufficiently and clarified everything that needed addressing.

Rebecca Miller9 said:To answer your question: I'm sorry you don't realize that interacting with older people can happen through many avenues besides just visiting your parents.
If you're feeling lost, there are plenty of ways—social clubs, sports leagues, even playing Bridge, for instance.

And...you completely missed the point. Even within my own circle of male friends, I never bring up sleeping with someone. It always boils down to whether a woman is attractive or not, and that’s where the conversation ends. (We haven't once commented on how a woman in her 60s looks, and no offense intended to anyone). Explicit comments like that aren't in our repertoire; if I ever make one, it's only because a girl is badgering me until I finally give in and confirm what she's already insisting is true.

I believe I've answered sufficiently and clarified everything that needed addressing.

It feels as though Mr. Hyde wrote this:

Rebecca Miller9 said:I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.

To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.

On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.

To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.

I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.

Simply disgusting.
It all comes down to how you say it.

:*

Rebecca Miller9 said:To answer your question: I'm sorry you don't realize that interacting with older people can happen through many avenues besides just visiting your parents.
If you're feeling lost, there are plenty of ways—social clubs, sports leagues, even playing Bridge, for instance.

And...you completely missed the point. Even within my own circle of male friends, I never bring up sleeping with someone. It always boils down to whether a woman is attractive or not, and that’s where the conversation ends. (We haven't once commented on how a woman in her 60s looks, and no offense intended to anyone). Explicit comments like that aren't in our repertoire; if I ever make one, it's only because a girl is badgering me until I finally give in and confirm what she's already insisting is true.

I believe I've answered sufficiently and clarified everything that needed addressing.

That is a different matter entirely. If you aren't bringing it up on your own accord, but she is actively steering the conversation there, then something is clearly wrong. It suggests some underlying dissatisfaction on her part.Or by oneself. Or with you.It is a classic scenario where the couple almost never has sex. She wants to know why this keeps happening—it's about identifying the problem and eliminating it. On the other hand, she likely feels an attraction toward someone else because she is chronically frustrated, especially since she has everything necessary to be desired, including her looks.
Go on, get them, you smooth talker! 🤣
🙂 Just for the soul. 🙂

It honestly baffles me... or maybe it just baffles everyone else, but why does it cause such a stir whenever someone in their mid-30s hangs out with someone in their mid-70s?

I run into this constantly—whether I'm at the office, volunteering with local nonprofits, or even just dealing with family dynamics...🤷

Dennis Bailey2 said:It honestly baffles me... or maybe it just baffles everyone else, but why does it cause such a stir whenever someone in their mid-30s hangs out with someone in their mid-70s?

I run into this constantly—whether I'm at the office, volunteering with local nonprofits, or even just dealing with family dynamics...🤷

It really depends on where you live. In California, for instance, there is such deep respect for our elders, and people of all ages tend to interact with genuine warmth.
But in a place like Washington, D.C., once you hit a certain age, people practically write you off. They underestimate you, dismiss you, and treat aging like some sort of tragic disaster. You’ll hear people whisper, "Why would someone young even bother talking to them?"
On top of that, I can't tell you how many people would see you having a sincere conversation with a man in his 60s and immediately assume you're involved in something much more intimate... 🤣

Adam Miller46 said:It really depends on where you live. In California, for instance, there is such deep respect for our elders, and people of all ages tend to interact with genuine warmth.
But in a place like Washington, D.C., once you hit a certain age, people practically write you off. They underestimate you, dismiss you, and treat aging like some sort of tragic disaster. You’ll hear people whisper, "Why would someone young even bother talking to them?"
On top of that, I can't tell you how many people would see you having a sincere conversation with a man in his 60s and immediately assume you're involved in something much more intimate... 🤣

I'm with you on this!
I'm a California girl studying up in Washington, D.C., and my boyfriend is a local Washingtonian.
Spending time with his crowd, I see it firsthand—their attitude toward older people is totally different. They're cranky, dismissive... and yeah, I get that sometimes, but honestly, nothing beats having a sincere, heartfelt conversation with an older person—especially if they're well-educated, which is a huge bonus.

OT: Sure, you're healthy, but your girlfriend isn't—she's just pathologically jealous.
My boyfriend and I casually chat about actors who hit their 50s and still look incredible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.🤷

I suppose you must be thrilled that a single word gave you the excuse to wipe my entire post, even though
you clearly have no clue that it isn't even used as slang—just as much as giving children royal names doesn't make them racial slurs. That’s how Dennis Bailey2 reacted; he acted as if he had no other way to refute my points. He just pointed his finger like a child, shouting, "Look! I called it racism!" and then tried to act superior, as if he were on some "transcendental" level above me. In reality, he just lacks the capacity to argue against the rest of what I wrote, because this isn't about being right or wrong; it's simply about having fundamentally different views on life.

It is truly wonderful being a moderator and getting to scrub posts that simply don't align with your own personal opinions and logic....
Maybe I missed the mark entirely, or perhaps I completely lost the plot. Even when my writing is blunt, I write in the hope that someone might recognize themselves, or at least find a spark of truth, in my words....

So, let's get back to the author's original point:Am I out of my mind for pointing out something that deviates from the norm?