urbanfox15 said:Just two years ago, I honestly thought I had the perfect family. Everything fell apart the second I found out my mom was seriously ill. Living with the reality that she could pass away any given day—and knowing her life would basically be a cycle of hospital visits—was a total nightmare. For a 17-year-old, it was a massive shock, and my sister was only 13 at the time. We managed to scrape by, but things hit rock bottom when Mom had her first brain surgery. There were major complications, but they discharged her after just two days claiming everything was fine. The problem? They didn't give her the blood thinners the doctor strictly ordered for three months post-op. When she finally got home, we tried to stay positive. We ate pizza and celebrated, even though we spent the holidays stuck in the hospital. Then, tragedy struck. On her very first night back home, Mom suffered a stroke. She survived, but the next three months were brutal. Her entire left side was paralyzed—no movement in her arm or leg, no walking, no bladder control, nothing. Luckily, she recovered a ton after those three months. Even the doctors at the hospital were shocked at how much progress she made thanks to our support. Fast forward to now: Mom is doing okay—she’s still the smart, kind, brave woman she’s always been—but she’s miserable. She has to go back for more dangerous tests, and who knows what happens next. My dad is a complete idiot. He’s a big shot in our city, holds some kind of local power, and he's incredibly arrogant, acting like he's 20 years old. He's gone all night, every night; I'm certain he's having an affair. Mom suspects it too, which breaks her heart. I can't sleep. You can see by the timestamp that I'm typing this on my phone in bed in the middle of the night. I am mentally exhausted and terrified I'm going to lose it. The worst part? This man actually says things about wanting Mom to die. He talks about bringing a new woman into the house. I spend my whole day fighting with him. Ever since I did some digging online and realized he's cheating, I just don't love him or respect him as a father anymore. But my biggest fear is for Mom. I feel like he's killing her, and it scares the hell out of me. Mom isn't allowed to get stressed, yet she loves him so much while he acts like a total jerk. I'm terrified she'll lose her will to live. I'm scared he's going to destroy her mentally. He practically waits for her to go back to the hospital like he's happy about it. I don't know what to do. I love my mom more than anything in this world. I'd do anything for her. She means everything to me. You only get one mother.
There isn’t much point in trying to find profound wisdom here—I’ve lived through this exact same script. In my family, after a disastrous marriage, my mother’s health completely collapsed; she struggled through a long illness before passing away (and I truly hope your mother doesn't have to go through that). As for my father—well, he barely even looked at his kids before finding a new woman just a few days later. I refused to play along with that, and honestly, I made things pretty difficult for him—though I’m sure our relatives thought he was in the right, simply because "he's the father" and you're supposed to respect him no matter what. Personally, I couldn't care less about what the neighbors or extended family think. After years of seeing exactly what kind of man he really is, I finally had to implement the only language he actually understands—the language of strength. I stepped in to protect our inheritance, and we’re doing fine now; he’s peaceful, which is probably for the best since he’s pushing eighty. The bottom line is this: stick together, and don't waste your breath on an idiot. You hit the nail on the head with your observation—she’s clearly a nuisance to him, he doesn't care about his children, and he almost certainly already has someone else lined up. Just a word of caution: don't count on any inheritance if your mother passes away first. The only way to secure anything is if she signs her entire portion over to you while she's still around. Under standard US probate laws, two children would typically only get a sixth share each during the settlement process—and even then, you wouldn't see a dime until the father eventually passes.
So you've got two parts from Dad plus four parts from Mom—that makes six total. My own mother didn't get her affairs in order, and honestly, she left us completely stranded. Please, don't let your mother make the same mistake by letting this piece of work walk away with her share just because she isn't up to speed on the legalities. You need to call some lawyers immediately. It’s really the only way to push back against someone acting this dishonestly. In my opinion, Mom should designate her entire portion of the estate directly to you kids. Life can be incredibly harsh if you aren't prepared. Good luck to you all!😉