Posts by Jessica Howard5

Man, I just scrolled through some of the posts above. Some solid points in there, but honestly, it’s a mixed bag. You can tell exactly who actually knows what they're talking about and who’s just noise. I could probably pinpoint exactly who is an educator versus just a parent, and I’d bet I could guess the age of their kid, too. But I won't play guessing games. I'll just weigh in from a parent's perspective—dealing with elementary and high school. First off, let me try to debunk this myth that teachers are working way more hours than they're actually teaching.
Look, lesson plans (aside from the rookies just starting out) get recycled year after year. Some teachers don't even bother updating them to reflect the real world; they just hand down stuff that isn't even relevant anymore.
For example:
A couple of years back, in a 4th-grade social studies class, we did a unit on "the community where I live."
We're talking about Indianapolis. After school, I grabbed my kid's notebook to see what they actually wrote down that day.
Local industry:
- Leather tannery
- Footwear manufacture
- Niveta
- Mobilia
- Blacksmith
- IPK
- Procter & Gamble
- Silk Mill
- Litokarton
...
I won't list the rest, because it was just a long list of dead or dying industries in Indianapolis.
Out of all that, only Procter & Gamble, Niveta, and IPK are actually still operating. The teacher was listing the local economy as it stood when she was a college student. It makes me wonder: how much prep work is she actually doing, or is she just using lesson plans from twenty years ago? What are we even talking about here?
Second example:
High school—Computer Science class.
Learning programming languages and calculating logic? For what? What’s the point? Is it only because that's what the teacher studied 15 years ago? It's pure nonsense. And the kicker? The kid doesn't even know basic computer concepts. When I asked them to name input or output devices, or explain the difference between software and hardware... it was a struggle. Don't even get me started on the lack of skills with programs like PowerPoint or Word. They have zero clue what Excel is for or how useful it actually is.
So, there you go regarding teacher prep and whether they actually update their curriculum to keep up with technology and the modern world.
As for the whole "upbringing" debate in schools, let's be clear: our school system is officially defined as "developmental and educational." Development comes first; education comes second. Once the system is rebranded as strictly "educational," then sure, I'll accept the idea that teachers shouldn't have to deal with behavioral upbringing. But by choosing this career, you accepted that you'd be working in developmental-educational institutions. Stick to the job description.
Now, a little about us parents.
We're a diverse bunch. We vary in education levels, social status, and whether we're employed or not. If I really broke it down, I'd include the healthy and the sick, the alcoholics, the hypochondriacs, the PTSD sufferers, the optimists, and the pessimists. There are parents who know they're struggling and seek professional help, and there are those who refuse to admit they have no idea what they're doing, so they just keep making mistakes in how they raise their kids. That's why institutions exist—specifically tasked, I emphasize *tasked*, with correcting developmental issues. First, there's the school (the support services), which is supposed to recognize and diagnose the problem. They should try to fix it, and if they can't handle it in-house, they are legally required to refer the matter to the agencies that actually have the authority to solve these issues.
The school isn't some sacred, untouchable institution where you walk in after graduation and clock in for 40 years without anyone asking questions or holding you accountable. You aren't exempt from continuing your education, you don't get to stop being responsible, and heaven forbid someone actually evaluates your performance.
Let’s get real here for a second. We need some actual self-reflection from everyone involved—parents, teachers, school administrators, the whole lot of us.
IN OUR SCHOOLS, WE ARE OBSESSED WITH STUFFING KIDS FULL OF FACTS, BUT WE ARE COMPLETELY NEGLECTING CHARACTER BUILDING. I think we’re failing miserably, and frankly, it’s a disaster.

Look, the principal had a reelection a couple of months back, and he’s set for the next four years regardless.
The catch? One of the board members is his uncle, and the guy is deep in politics.
Honestly, the best move would be for the parents to pull their kids out and find a different school, but I think the real issue is this kid's dad. He lets him get away with everything—as long as he acts out, he gets rewarded with trips to London or Chicago.
I don't get the mom, though. She's a pediatrician, yet she does absolutely nothing. I doubt Social Services will step in either.
I'm worried things are going to blow up because some of these fathers are going to take matters into their own hands. One of them is just as influential socially, but he's pretty rough around the edges, so things could get ugly.
I'm no genius, but I feel bad for the kid. You can see him turning into a delinquent right before your eyes.
If they don't fix this by the end of the year, I bet at least six or seven kids from that class will demand a transfer to another school.
The principal is totally blind to the reputation he's building. It's the same story in other grades involving "well-connected" kids. You've got the son of a local tycoon from a massive corporation in Houston (8th grade), another tycoon's kid (7th grade), two sons of CEOs from major federal agencies (5th and 7th grade)... plus a bunch of "nobodies" hanging around them just to feel important. Typical. This is what happens when you have an "elite" school. It seems "elite" only refers to the families attending, not the actual education or how the students behave.
BTW thanks for the reply.

Got a question for Charles Murphy6, since you're a lawyer who actually understands how the system works and knows what teachers are dealing with. We have this kid at our school who’s been a total nightmare since first grade—let's be real, he's just undisciplined. He’s in 6th grade now and things are spiraling. He’s gathered a little gang of five followers who follow his lead. They cause chaos during class, at recess, before school, after school, even at the local park. Just to give you some context: his mom is a pediatrician, and his dad is a coach for one of our top Olympic rowers. The dad plays tennis and has a cushy job at an agency in Chicago, whose director is currently hanging out in Brooklyn (he's a football referee). This kid is incredibly malicious and has fixated on one specific girl—he targets her constantly, though he bullies others too. The other day, he told this poor girl that her dad (who works for a major corporation and travels all the time, while her mom stays home) isn't actually traveling for work, but is instead paying for hotels to see a mistress and cheating on her mom. He also gives another kid the finger because of his last name (which sounds Eastern European), and he drags his five little minions into everything. The school hasn't done a damn thing. The teacher finally woke up after the whole 5th grade had to endure it, and started trying to talk to the parents of the kids being targeted. He started calling in the parents of the problematic kids, but now the situation has actually gotten worse. The kid has gone on the offensive and doesn't care where or when he harasses other students. To make matters worse, his dad rewards him by taking him to national team games—he even took him to Mexico for a handball tournament, which was pure hell...
What methods can actually stop this? Who is legally responsible for protecting the other kids in the school, and is there any way to actually get results? BTW, the kid's uncle sits on the School Board right in front of City Hall.

So now we’re starting an association on this thread, haha. I'm all for the initiative and suggest we reach a deal.
I propose that Luna and River handle all the coordination. They seem to have the experience, the drive, and the will to get it done.
Let me know how I can help.
I'm in immediately.

River, thanks for the advice and the heads-up. Look, I know exactly what I'm doing and how I'm saying it. I'm not dropping names, and I'm definitely not naming kids. The whole point of this blog is to let the people who need to see this recognize themselves. It’s also a signal for the people who get paid to sit at their desks all day—you know, the ones whose primary job is stocking toilet paper, ordering toner, setting up insurance policies that you only hear about when you actually need them, or running errands for entrepreneurial parents. Based on that, there isn't a legal leg to stand on here. As for the FBI, I wasn't planning on involving them for this specific purpose. But if it comes down to forming an association? Yeah, I'll be calling them any time of the day or night.
And if they try to sue me? Well, you can find Happy Goose in Las Vegas—first flight out, doesn't matter which one.

I don't know what to tell you. Just facts. No fluff. Expect more from me later. kaže:
So that's why I'm asking—what can we actually do as parents? Am I just being delusional if I think we can get anything out of these school outbursts?
Maybe we should start an association? Something like that non-profit group out of DC that fights for better daycare conditions.
So, what's the plan? We just going to spam our local government offices with boring emails every single day?
What?

I really wish I could actually do something—even just try to change things up. Instead of taking the path of least resistance and eventually snapping at my kid with a "just sit down and shut up," which I know deep down is total garbage parenting. Both as a parent and an educator, I know better. 🤷🙂

I’m with everything you wrote, especially that one specific point. Honestly, fighting this feels like tilting at windmills. But I’ve already started taking action on my own level—specifically regarding the microclimate around my kids. I started a blog to document exactly what's happening at our local elementary school. I’ve made a commitment to call out every single issue that comes to light. It’s my way of protesting the principal and the administration for failing to do their jobs. On top of that, I’m pushing for standardized textbooks across all elementary schools so every kid gets the same quality of education. Now, I might actually have some leverage: my brother-in-law just got elected to Congress, and since he’s from the education sector, he’s pretty much on the same page as me.
P.S. I'm sending you a DM. Give it some thought before you get back to me.

Sarah James4 said:That sounds pretty individualized to me...

Basically, they use streaming here. Kids get grouped by their skill levels and what they've mastered. If they struggle or excel, they move up or down the ladder. They even bring in extra teachers if needed. The whole point is just making sure everyone hits those state curriculum standards.

Imagine there are three tracks, each with three grade levels... the bottom track is for foundational skills, and the top track is for advanced learners.

The faculty and the school itself undergo regular evaluations—I think it involves internal assessments and various standardized tests—plus there's an annual state inspection to grade the school against others in the district.

Greetings to New York City, and specifically to you.
Thanks for the deep dive into how your kid's school works. It helps people realize they don't need to reinvent the wheel; sometimes you just need to learn from those who've actually succeeded in making a school feel like a second home. Of course, I'm emphasizing the "private school" aspect here—the owner definitely cares about that school rating.
My little niece goes to a very similar school in Chicago (it's owned by a Jewish foundation) following an English curriculum. She takes classes in both English and American parallelly.

Wishing you lots of luck and success. Best regards.

Here’s a perfect example of how broken the textbook system is. A good friend of mine just moved the family from Indianapolis to Washington, D.C., because he landed a new job and his wife is doing her neurology residency. They couldn't pull the move until the winter break, so they finally got the paperwork sorted for all three kids (1st, 4th, and 7th grade) and enrolled them in their new school. Now, guess how many of their "new" textbooks—all bought specifically for this school year—actually worked at the new school? Zero. Not one. The old school used one publisher, and the new one uses a completely different one. Between the moving truck to D.C. costing him $400 and having to buy an entirely new set of books and workbooks for $1000, it's a total joke.

jadetinker85 said:And why not just have lockers at school to hold all the books and supplies? Why does a kid have to lug around art kits, drafting tools, gym shoes, rulers, compasses, pencil cases, plus all those textbooks, music notebooks, and English readers? Just grab what's needed for the specific lesson or homework, and leave the rest at school.
Ideally, those storage spaces would just be built right into the desks.

Sure, that’s one way to look at it. But not every school has the facilities—meaning, zero space for lockers or storage. That might work for elementary kids, maybe.
But look at how developed countries handle this. Kids stay at school from 8 AM to 5 PM. They eat breakfast, attend classes, have lunch, finish homework, study, and participate in extracurriculars like sports, music, or dance. It keeps them off the streets and off social media, under the supervision of professionals, and when they finally get home, they actually spend quality time with their parents. No extra stress over homework, studying, or reading lists...
In our country, though, that’s pure utopia.
Imagine if we had online textbooks integrated with a standardized national curriculum? Look at Finland. Imagine not having to worry about whether your kid actually learned the material because it's built directly into the teaching methodology. One less thing to stress about for eight years—or twelve, ideally.
But for that to happen, we need to overhaul the general standards here in America. I just hope my grandkids actually get to see that happen.

My take? Someone needs to finally standardize these textbooks. It’s long overdue. We have way too many publishers out there, and honestly, it feels like anyone can write them now just to satisfy whatever order a publisher puts in—all for profit. It’s basically a racket that breaks the bank for parents and burns out students.

I believe every elementary school student from Savannah to Dubrovnik should be using the exact same textbooks.
It’s a nightmare if you have to move from one part of town to another and your kid has to switch schools. You'll almost certainly have to toss most of their old books and buy an entirely new set. Now, imagine having to do that because you're moving cities for work. It's ridiculous.

I agree, it’s ridiculous. But honestly, when you look at who actually caused this mess, our kids are lucky they aren't dealing with even worse.
Math—you need the textbook, the workbook, the practice manual, a notebook, plus triangles, rulers, compasses... the whole bit.
English—textbook, reader, workbook, notebook... and now throw in geography with an atlas, history with an atlas, and we might as well just buy them a cart from Lime so they can haul all this junk to school.

Sarah James4 said:I could answer some of these and share my thoughts, but my little one goes to school outside of America. Not sure if you're interested in international perspectives.

Of course. Please, walk us through it—which country are we talking about? Give us a quick rundown of the education system, the curriculum, and what the kids are like there. How’s the vibe between the schools and the students, and how is the parent-teacher communication? Also, how do they handle behavioral issues or disruptive kids in class?

Best regards😕🤷

Hey everyone, and congrats to the new admins. I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now, usually just jumping in to see what you all think when I'm stuck on something. But I finally decided to register a few days ago so I could actually start sharing my own thoughts on certain topics.
To be honest, I'm mostly interested in hearing your takes and experiences regarding parenting. I'm just an average dad with three amazing daughters—well, teenagers now—all in school. My oldest is 16 and in her sophomore year at a local prep school, the middle one is in 8th grade, and the youngest is in 6th. All three are healthy, smart, and have totally distinct personalities. They couldn't be more different in terms of character or interests; they are true individuals. Their grades vary a bit too, though that's not the point. Interestingly, they all attend the same middle school and high school, seeing almost identical teachers. Yet, despite having the exact same upbringing and the same instructors, they struggle with specific subjects in a way that seems almost constant. It makes me wonder: is the issue with the kids or the teachers? I've noticed their study habits are worlds apart. The oldest and the youngest have already figured out how to learn and have this built-in sense of accountability, whereas the middle one struggles with motivation (she finished 7th grade with pretty good grades, though). I'm incredibly proud of my oldest; she's killing it in high school. With all three, I try to be a friend while maintaining parental authority. We handle everything through conversation. We try to solve problems by talking things through, using real-life examples, and guiding them so they can reach their own conclusions on how to fix a situation.
So, I want to hear your experiences and SPECIFIC EXAMPLES:
- WITH SCHOOL
- WITH A SPECIFIC TEACHER
- WITH OTHER KIDS IN THEIR CLASS
- YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SCHOOL AND STAFF
- DISCIPLINE AND UPBRINGING ISSUES

Basically, anything a parent would want to know to keep their kid on the right track, instill the right values, and prepare them for the real world.

Best regards 🙂