10 posts shown.
Roger Grant84 said:Look, a loud voice carries a long way 🤣
Hey moms-to-be,
From my experience, once I actually gave birth, I wanted someone by my side more than ever. I needed someone who had been through the exact same trenches—someone I wouldn't bore with the same endless stories, someone I could lean on when I was hitting my breaking point. That might be your husband, your sister, or a best friend. But honestly? Only women who have actually birthed a human truly get it. It sounds like a cliché, but it’s the truth. If you don't have those women in your real life to connect with, this forum is an awesome place to find them. Don't shut the door on this. Because maybe—just maybe—you'll change your mind. Maybe, just maybe, an episiotomy tear will be so bad you can't sit down for two months, and everyone around you will judge you for being "weak." Maybe you'll spiral into a nasty depression you can't fight, or be so sleep-deprived you're terrified you'll drop the baby. Maybe you'll hit the brink of divorce, realize you're totally lost when the baby won't stop screaming for hours, or suddenly realize you haven't eaten a single thing all day... and maybe you'll be completely alone in all of that. A mom can be amazing support, sure. But I also know plenty of young, educated women who listened to their mothers and tried using old-school home remedies because they didn't know anything else.
Go ahead and roll your eyes at us young moms, but don't trash us. At the very least, you can learn from our mistakes 😉
Anyway, back to the topic—I have to admit, the sheer amount of pregnancy frustration and cluelessness here surprises me. I hate being lectured too, but usually, when people try to act smart, it's about stuff they actually know something about. It was the same for me during my pregnancy. Just stick to the forum; you can learn just about anything here 😉
That's right, ladies, listen to Roger Grant84!🙂
Melissa White41 said:I am not pregnant, but back when I was at my heaviest, some guy I’ve never even met in my life had the nerve to ask if I was expecting. 😬
EDIT: It seems like a lot of you are getting worked up about people touching stomachs... personally, I always want to touch a stomach (strictly with people I'm close to, obviously) and I always ask first. If someone were to just lung forward and grab my belly right now, I’d kick them in the teeth before they could even finish the thought, let alone be pregnant. 🤣
Well, I actually lived through that. This random woman in her 40s just grabbed my midsection at a CVS. I didn't kick her 🙂 because I was honestly just speechless.
And then there was this one guy I was dealing with for work who literally started tearing up when he saw my belly, launching into this whole speech about how it’s such a blessing. 😕
People are just something else.
The other day, I’m just out on the street when this complete stranger walks up to me and asks, "Is it a boy?" He tells me if it's a boy, he's going to buy a stroller for the baby.🙄🙄🙄
Honestly, I was about two seconds away from pulling my wallet out and handing him my credit card so he could just settle the bill right then and there.🙄>
Matthew Robinson29 said:And then yesterday, she tried giving me these totally bizarre "tips & tricks" about how we should handle intimacy once the baby arrives 😬
Oh, come on now—I am dying to hear what kind of "tips & tricks" she's actually talking about 🤣
Dana Martin87 said:It doesn't bother me when an older guy or some senior citizen cuts in front of me. No matter how much we’re struggling, I know their situation is way harder. What is someone in their 80s supposed to do when they can barely breathe, let alone stand there for ages? I always prioritize the elderly over pregnant women, and that includes my own pregnancy right now. I’ll keep giving up my seat to seniors for as long as I possibly can. If it becomes physically impossible later in my pregnancy, well, then it is what it is. But I'm hoping for a smooth enough term where that won't be an issue.
What actually gets under my skin? Candida. Dealing with this constant yeast infection is one thing, but during pregnancy, it’s nerve-wracking. Every time I feel that stinging sensation, I start panicking that it might be something more serious, so I end up getting a urine culture done constantly.
Well, I wouldn't even be complaining here if it hadn't been for some poor little old lady with a cane who could barely stay upright asking me to let her go first. But this "gentleman" at the grocery store was in pretty good shape and nowhere near eighty. Regardless, I let him pass since he seemed to be in such a rush anyway. I just find the lack of basic manners so baffling; I was struggling to stand myself, being 33 weeks pregnant after finishing a full workday, yet I still didn't try to push my way ahead of anyone in line.
I honestly hate how I’ve already started feeling like a broken record. Every single time I step out of my house, I end up answering the same five mindless questions on loop—like, "How much longer?", "Almost there?", "When’s the big day?", "What else are you working on?", or even the annoying "Why aren't you on medical leave?" (and thank God, because once my maternity leave kicks in today, I am officially done listening to any of this). Then there's the inevitable, "Is it a girl?" (even though my first was a boy), followed by "What does your older kid think about all this?" Aaaaaaaagh...
I get it, really. People just run out of things to say, so they default to these repetitive scripts. It’s like their specific version of small talk for pregnant women, while everyone else gets to chat about the weather. But when I absolutely despise these kinds of superficial, polite pleasantries, it just drives me up the wall...
The other day, some total stranger—someone I barely recognize from around the neighborhood—actually had the audacity to reach out and touch my stomach in a Target aisle. A complete disaster...
And I already know what happens once the baby arrives: the interrogation begins. "Are you breastfeeding?", "Do you have enough milk?", "Is the baby sleeping through the night?"...
Maybe the problem is just me. Maybe I’m just a bit of a misanthrope.🤷
Since we’re talking about entitlement, I was standing in line at Target the other day—exhausted, carrying a five-year-old who was basically running circles around me—when this elderly gentleman suddenly swoops in. He asks if he can just cut ahead because he "only has a couple of things." Fine, I thought, I'll be the bigger person and let his little girl go first. But then, wouldn't you know it? Not even thirty seconds later, some thirty-something guy decides he's also entitled to skip the queue because he's "just grabbing these sponges." I told him straight up: absolutely not. Honestly, they might as well just let the entire line go before them at this rate.
ok, look, my cart was full, but I am absolutely wiped out and I wasn't even asking for any special treatment, let alone cutting in line. Seriously, some people have zero shame, it's unreal.🤷
nuklea500 said:What I find particularly fascinating is how the pressure isn't even coming from our parents, but rather from girlfriends, acquaintances, the boss...
Our parents asked us exactly once, we gave them some vague answer, and they never brought it up again. But everyone else? Man, the pressure is relentless.
Marriage doesn't actually mean much to us; we decided a long time ago that if we ever do marry, it’ll be strictly for the sake of the child. Though, honestly, I think the kid won't care whether we make it official while they're still in the womb or once they're already in a crib. We've lived together since day one of our relationship, so as far as we're concerned, we're already married.
Look, I'm the first person to hate unsolicited advice, but in my experience, if this is just a formality for you and you aren't planning a massive traditional wedding or ceremony, just go ahead and do the courthouse thing now and get it over with. It's purely for practical reasons—once the baby arrives, you'll have even less energy. Babies demand everything from you, and trying to organize anything becomes way more complicated than when it's just the two of you.
We handled ours at the city clerk's office without any of the extra circus. Neither he nor I are church-goers anyway, so we just had a nice dinner for the parents and a party for about 20 close friends, and that was that...
Good luck, whatever you decide to do!
But that part about the baby having "trauma"...😂 there are just all kinds of people in this world...🙄
Dana Martin87 said:Are we getting married?! When are we actually doing this?! What are we even waiting for?!!!!
Friends ask me once a week. Acquaintances who find out I’m pregnant ask before they even say congrats. My boss asks me three times a week...
I can't take it anymore. This pregnancy caught us totally off guard. We poured every cent of our savings into renovating a house so we could finally stop renting and have a place of our own. Every single day, from sunrise to sunset, we're working on that house. On top of that, I'm building the furniture myself just to make sure it's high quality without breaking the bank. Right now, a wedding is the absolute last thing on our minds. But suddenly, it's become an issue because of all this pressure. Honestly, we might just head to the courthouse for a quick civil ceremony just so people will leave me alone. I'm about two seconds away from losing it and telling everyone where they can shove their opinions.
I told one friend that I’d rather wait until the baby is a year old to have a wedding, and she tried to convince me the kid would carry trauma and complexes for their entire life??????????????! 😲
This drove me absolutely insane during my first pregnancy too. I ended up pregnant before we were married, and we finally did the paperwork when I was seven months along. Personally, I wasn't in any rush to "hide the bump," but I really wanted to wait until spring so the weather would be nicer for the party I had in mind. And honestly, I wasn't exactly itching to move in with my husband's parents either, though we didn't have any other choice back then. I just wanted to stay home and enjoy the pregnancy as stress-free as possible until we sorted out "our space."
My goodness, my neighbors literally drove me to the brink of madness back then with questions like, "Oh, haven't you tied the knot yet?" accompanied by those nosy stares at my belly and these pitying looks. 🙄
I was actually terrified of taking the elevator or walking into the apartment building just so I wouldn't run into one of those three or four busybodies who always feel entitled to know everything.
If I were a more blunt person by nature, I would have told them I didn't even know who the father was; I thought of all sorts of things just to get them off my back. For me, marriage isn't even that big of a deal in life—if I happened to be infertile, God knows if we'd even bother getting married since I hate weddings, ceremonies, and all the stress that comes with them. We just legalized things for the sake of the kids, that's all.
It is truly incredible how people allow themselves to harass others with questions that invade such deep privacy; to me, it’s just incomprehensible...
Ugh, mothers-in-law! Thank God we finally moved out from under their roof, otherwise I would have absolutely lost my mind by now! When I had my first child, we were still living together and it was pure madness. I wouldn't say she’s a malicious woman, per se, but honestly, she's retired and clearly looking for something to do—she treated our lives like an adventure she needed to direct. She was constantly hovering over us like we were two idiots who didn't have the slightest clue how to care for a baby, even though she had her own kids nearly forty years ago! It was completely normal for her to just wander into our bedroom while I was breastfeeding, or to lecture us about every little thing. I honestly don't know how I stayed sane... there were moments where I was literally swallowing my tears just to keep from screaming...
We live on our own now, and since I'm due in just two months, I went over to their place the other day to dig through some old bins of my eldest's stuff and grab anything useful. Well, I walked out feeling totally depressed because she just can't help herself—she has to meddle in everything. The entire time I was sorting through those bags, she sat right there with me, dropping constant "expert" commentary—like, "Oh, this is lovely, you absolutely must take this!" when in reality, it's just some yellowed, stretched-out rag we inherited from someone ages ago.
Then it was, "What are you going to do about the crib? Where is it going to fit? Did you measure? Move this piece of furniture over here—it'll be better for you, and you can put the crib there." As if I'm some moron who hasn't measured everything the second I saw the floor plan plus the doctor's tests! Then she called me later because she remembered that none of the onesies we looked at were in the bags, asking where they were. I told her I lent them to a friend who just had a baby, but I don't even need them anyway because bodysuits are much more practical. My baby is coming in late autumn, so he won't exactly need his back exposed to the cold, but no—she knows better. She insists I'll need them once the baby is tiny... ugh, I am losing it! 🙂
Sorry for the massive vent!
One more thing—if she knew I was thinking about buying a new stroller, she would never leave me alone, because in her mind, everything old is better. Look, I'm not a snob; I love using secondhand stuff whenever it's in good condition (honestly, I'm thrilled to save money that way), but I am definitely not dressing my child in stretched-out, stained rags or pushing him around in a beat-up stroller that doesn't even have a bassinet attachment (our first kid was a summer baby, so we never bought one). 🙄
I feel a bit better now that I've let all that out. Please, tell me—am I overreacting, or would this drive you crazy too?