3 posts shown.
Nathan Lee said:Since things got a little heated here on the forum, my wife actually sent me a private message. She explained that since she doesn't live in the States, she didn't really know what kind of department we were talking about. Plus, for her own reasons, she gets sensitive about the smoking thing. At the end of the day, we all have bad days and our own stuff going on. So, I suspect she might not be the "freak" the original post made her out to be.
She terrorized me with those private messages too—telling me point-blank that I shouldn't bother living in America. And then, to add insult to injury, she had the nerve to mention she’s a mother of three? She even went on about how she spent time in a postpartum ward with one of her kids—which makes her whole "expert" stance even more offensive than I thought. Honestly, how can someone be that delusional?
@Raymond Martinez4 My nephew actually told me I could go ahead and suck on a Gastal for a stomachache. Honestly—is that even advice you can take seriously?
James Martinez3 said:My apologies, I'll make sure to ask your permission next time before I decide which topics are okay to discuss.
😂
As for everything else—no comment. If you ever seriously considered psychoanalysis as a career path, you might want to rethink those plans immediately. I spoke up because nothing irritates me more during pregnancy than women who smoke and then expect everyone to be understanding about it. And just as I called this person out virtually, I’ve done the exact same thing to people I know in real life. I don't feel even a shred of guilt about it. Luckily, there was only one instance, and she stopped after we had our talk. And I'm not getting involved for the sake of those pregnant women—I don't really care about them, I just feel bad for their unborn children.
That’s one thing. Secondly, I don't frequent places that actually have something resembling a "maternity ward," so you don't have to worry about running into me there. But if life somehow led me to one of those units and someone decided to smoke right next to me—yeah, they would have had the worst night of their lives. And frankly, I think I'd be completely justified in feeling that way.
I'm done debating this topic; I've said what I needed to say.
I didn't intend to comment on such a collection of nonsense, but now I find myself compelled to...
The absolute worst are these pseudo-moralistic busybodies who fret over everyone and everything except themselves. 🙄
First point—when you say you "called her out," did she stop smoking or just stop talking to you? Because if it's the latter—especially if you're lecturing a woman who is supposedly your friend when she hasn't asked for your advice or opinion—then that is a completely different story...
Second point—it is quite obvious you aren't pregnant or a mother if you don't know what a newborn nursery is. Beyond that, if you would only end up in such a place
due to a mere stroke of bad luck , then clearly neither that pregnancy nor that child would be particularly wanted...
If you actually are a mother or pregnant, then I truly have no comment, other than to wonder who exactly is in a position to be handing out moral advice to whom...
Besides, this isn't a thread about whether or not one should smoke during pregnancy and debating it for several pages; it's about what irritated or surprised you during your own pregnancy... so, there you have it.
Can I just vent here for a second? 🙂
I honestly can’t even put into words whether I was angry, furious, frustrated—or whatever you call the reaction to being treated like this by my own grandmother. 🙂
Everything was going so beautifully on Saturday afternoon with my husband. Then, the elders arrived—we had invited them over to catch up and reminisce—and after a little while, both my grandfather and grandmother burst in because my mother thought we might have something to say to them. 🙂
Fine, whatever. Everyone is happy, Grandma is acting all hyper, and since everyone was already there, I decided to quickly whip something up for food. I don't even need to mention that my kitchen is tiny—there's barely enough room for one person to stand—yet she makes herself right at home, hovering and tripping over me while I'm trying to cook. 🙄And why? Because she insisted on rubbing my stomach... I mean, seriously, what pregnant woman has a visible bump at six weeks?
I bit my tongue on that one. But then, once I finally sat down to have a smoke (yes, I’m pregnant and I smoke; please, don't start judging me too), she immediately starts lecturing me about how I shouldn't smoke because it isn't healthy—and then proceeds to take one last deep drag from her filter cigarette! Not to mention, that was her fourth cigarette in half an hour. 🙄
Again, I swallowed my rage. But then, when everyone stood up to leave, Grandma grabs my hand—quietly, so no one else would hear—and whispers, "You know, you really shouldn't smoke. Let me tell you a story: back when I was young, there was this girl who smoked throughout her entire pregnancy, and when she gave birth, her baby died because of it."
When I heard those words, I absolutely lost it. I snapped at her—asking if she had actually lost her mind—demanding to know why on earth she was implying my child would die because of my smoking. 😲To top it all off, I told her I might as well just order an abortion right now, since according to her logic, it wouldn't matter if the baby died now or in nine months anyway. 😱
Thankfully, my father and husband broke the awkward silence—and the literal lightning bolts flying from my eyes toward Grandma—and ushered everyone out of the house.
And all of this is coming from a woman who smoked two packs a day during both of her pregnancies...
Needless to say, she won't be seeing me for a very, very long time.
Also, it drives me crazy—especially with women—how the moment they hear someone is pregnant, their eyes immediately dart to your stomach, staring and staring and staring... as if they have X-ray vision and need to inspect exactly where it is and what it looks like. 🙄
Men are more subtle; they just say, "Nice, congrats," and move on.