Posts by Alexander Garcia35

Sean Ward22 said:"Are you seriously that overweight?!"

😠
Go jump in a lake; your mother is the one who's heavy-set.😠

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silentbison17 said:Some rude people actually think they have the right to dump their horrific birth stories on me without even knowing my profession or what I'm asking...

They comment on my belly size and ask if my doctor confirmed everything is fine just because it looks small.😠😠😠

Regarding that first point, I think you should just call them out directly. Ask them if they really believe it’s appropriate to share those kinds of stories and stir up anxiety like that. If you make things just a little bit awkward for them, they'll usually shut up.

As for the second part, it really just highlights how uninformed and narrow-minded those people are.

Nathan Lee said:Well, honestly—I hope it's a girl too, but if it turns out to be a boy, maybe it’s actually a better setup to have an older brother and a little sister, right?
The worst part is when people try to "comfort" you by saying, "Oh, it'll be a boy..."
And I guess that's just how some older women talk, though younger moms 🙂
usually feel differently.

Of course, the gender of the baby doesn't actually matter. What bothers me is the way people use these methods to predict things, acting like they already know it's going to be different from what we actually want...
Personally, I find the obsession with having a boy absolutely baffling, regardless of who is pushing the idea. I’ve heard stories about fathers who wouldn't even show up at the hospital because their wife was having her third daughter. We're talking about people my father's age! And I've even had people tell me how much of a shame it is that my dad doesn't have a son. It makes you feel like the three of us weren't quite enough or something...

Nathan Lee said:With those types of women—who might gain a standard 20 or even 30 pounds and constantly harp on about it, asking me how much weight I've put on—I always used to tell them I gained less than I actually did (even though I definitely didn't look like I had gained 50 lbs). Once the weight came off quickly for me, I'd just tell those same women that I actually gained 60, mostly because it seems to bother them that they still can't lose their own 20 pounds..
Now that I'm on my second pregnancy, they're telling me, "You won't lose it as easily this time!!" Honestly, they should worry about their own figures instead of obsessing over mine... I guess it doesn't bother me as much anymore, but I do feel bad for other girls who they end up giving complexes to..

It also drives me crazy day after day, hearing people comment on the fact that I'm having ANOTHER GIRL (Oh, my Bog, imagine the tragedy—I'll actually have two girls!!!). One of my godmothers even remarked when she heard the second one was a girl that my husband just isn't very lucky. And my neighbor made such a face when I told her, like she'd smelled something terrible, acting all shocked and saying, "Oh, honey..."
But we've always wanted two girls—two sisters close in age 😍😍😍
As long as the kids are healthy and happy, it doesn't matter what they are. My Bog, people can be so incredibly tactless and foolish..

That sounds awful!
I have my anatomy scan in two days, and I'm really hoping we find out the sex. We are crossing our fingers for a girl, but everyone keeps insisting it's definitely going to be a boy (?). It’s so irritating.

Gary James17 said:...it drives me insane when people act like my entire existence has shrunk down to nothing more than their own unsolicited opinions on pregnancy, labor, and kids, especially when they aren't just offering advice, but are basically weaponizing these patronizing warnings like:
"Oh, just wait until you see how it is, you won't want to go anywhere anymore" (as if I have a social life to begin with), "you won't be able to sleep in until 9" (as if I’m currently sleeping in), "you'll never be alone again," hahaha, "enjoy your solitude while it lasts," or even things like, "better swap out that carpet because once the baby arrives..." or "buy a dishwasher because you won't have time for dishes" (like that's the crisis here), or "you'll be too busy gardening and baking cookies to deal with a baby" (as if dreaming of a garden or having a little organic vegetable patch is some kind of sin, or like feeding a child from your own garden is some impossible Herculean task), "don't bother with cloth diapers because you won't have time to wash them every three days" (implying anyone who does is clearly incompetent), "cut your hair short because you won't be able to manage long hair during labor," and then all the horror stories about birth and breastfeeding... blablablabla....

The reality is I’m practically living in hospitals; I’ve been on bed rest since week 7 (and it’s already been four full months!) and it’s going to stay this way—bleeding, contractions, cervical issues, the whole bit. Most days I am completely alone, constantly in pain and gripped by anxiety, feeling so stiff that my only exercise is rolling from my right side to my left, and honestly, I don't know how life could possibly get any worse than this, yet people still feel the need to explain to me how much more miserable things will be once I actually go into labor. I just don't get it!
And it particularly irritates me how some people think it’s great that I can spend my days reading or watching TV, or how everyone treats me like some pampered guest being served. Please, don't lecture me on how easy I have it unless you've actually lived it!
And yeah, I become the black sheep every time I snap at someone or push back, and nobody seems to grasp why I’m actually so irritable and moody most of the time! Helloooo, even the most perfectly healthy pregnant woman finds things difficult sometimes! Right?

And why on earth do people feel the need to drag up stories about the neighbor, a relative, or an acquaintance who had various miscarriages, lost a baby during delivery, or lost one in the second trimester... and they choose to tell these stories to a pregnant woman who has been explicitly diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage...

Don't even get me started on the doctors! One tells me to take certain pills, another looks at me like I'm crazy and says don't take them. Then there's the bureaucracy—faulty referrals, or "No ma'am, we don't run blood tests for that specific diagnosis, go get a new referral first..." And then there's that condescending attitude where they say, "Don't worry about your cervix, that's our job" (when I was simply asking if it was still dilated like last time—my cervix is part of my body, of course I want to know what's happening with it!)
...I don't trust anyone anymore and, frankly, I'd almost rather just give birth at home!
Sometimes I genuinely wish I had been born five hundred years ago, when nobody knew anything about modern pregnancy complications, when doctors didn't exist, so I could just give birth in the middle of tilling a field, wrap the baby up, and get right back to digging!

It also really gets to me that I am craving sweets so badly... I'm dreaming of cheesecake... but I can't have any because of gestational diabetes. It's infuriating how everyone keeps pushing sweets and treats on me that I shouldn't touch, acting as if a tiny indulgence won't hurt. Well, sure, maybe one bite won't kill me, but doing it every day leads to new complications, and I really don't need those! It's hard enough for me to control myself and stick to this stupid diet, and I'm being incredibly disciplined... but it certainly isn't helping that the people around me won't stop trying to tempt me.

And then there are the comments like—"Wait, you haven't gained any weight???" implying that's a bad thing, or "What about the baby?" The baby is exactly the size it needs to be, healthy and active, whereas I have no legs or glutes left from being immobile, just a stomach and constant nausea... so naturally, I haven't put on much weight yet... but I don't care, because the baby is fine.
But people just won't stop planting seeds of doubt in my head...

I could keep going, but I'm already exhausted! 🙂

p.s. Yep, I totally snapped. 🙂 You don't need to comment on any of this.

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I’ll jump in here too.
I’m honestly fascinated by how much people react when we decide that we don't need a village sent to us the moment the baby arrives—that we’d rather just handle things ourselves and figure out our own rhythm. We live far away from family, and it’s not that we wouldn't let them in if they were nearby; we just want some space at the start to bond, get our bearings, and set up a routine that actually works for us.
It feels like people won't even give us the benefit of the doubt. I get all these little jabs and comments like, "Oh, you think you've got it all figured out," or "Just wait until you're in the thick of it," or "You have no idea what you're getting into," or even, "Just wait until your mother-in-law shows up..."
The reality is that in plenty of cultures, there isn't even a tradition of having a mother or an in-law hovering over you to help; those families thrive, the babies are perfectly healthy, and everyone does just fine on their own.

I really don't see the issue. 🤷