Posts by Gary James17

Hey there.

My apologies if this has already been covered somewhere; I couldn't find anything similar while searching.
Over the last few months, I’ve been going through a gauntlet of tests because of a bunch of vague, nagging symptoms.

The symptoms: fatigue, total exhaustion, anxiety, frequent headaches, a somewhat irregular cycle (ranging from 21 to 33 days), weight loss, loss of appetite, heart palpitations and skipped beats, dizziness, low blood pressure (90/60), blood in my urine, and spotting or brown discharge outside of my period (somewhere between ovulation and day one).

The tests and results:
- Gynecologist: significant erosion and ectopy of the cervix (confirmed via colposcopy) plus an infection that was treated with oral and topical antibiotics; Pap smear was fine, all cervical swabs came back clear, and all reproductive hormones look okay; the infection is currently under control.
- Cardiologist: Heart ultrasound was relatively fine (mild valve insufficiency, though nothing clinically significant right now), and the EKG Holter was also mostly okay (registered a few supraventricular and ventricular extrasystoles, including one triplet).
- Urine: Urine culture was fine, blood was present only in the first stream, kidneys seem okay (GFR is fine, ultrasound looks good, Creatinine is normal).
- Thyroid: I have Hashimoto's; my anti-TPO and Tg antibodies are quite a bit above the ref interval (I don't have the exact numbers in front of me), but the ultrasound looks fine (not typical for Hashimoto's); I take 50 mcg of Euthyrox, and my TSH, ft3, and ft4 are currently under control.
- Iron: Diagnosed with stage three iron-deficiency anemia—Ferritin is okay but sitting at the lower limit, hemoglobin is 118 (ref is above 119), free iron is 5 (ref is 8-30), TIBC and UIBC are fine; I took a course of Heferol, which bumped my iron up to 16, but it dropped back down to 10 in just a month and a half, so I've been prescribed another course of Heferol.
- Blood Sugar: Fasting is 5.4, HbA1c is at the upper limit—HbA1c percentage is 5.7 (ref up to 5.99), HbA1c is 39 (ref up to 42); I previously had gestational diabetes (first pregnancy required insulin, second pregnancy used only ADA).
- Other: LDH is normal, ACTH at 8 am was low (0.8, ref 1.6-13.9), and blood cortisol at 8 am was okay, though hovering at the bottom end (180, ref 101.7-535.7).

Can anyone make sense of all this?
The ACTH and cortisol levels, along with the dropping iron, probably stand out the most. What could that point toward?

I'm waiting for a follow-up with my endocrinologist to go over these results, but since it's the holidays, everything is dragging on, and honestly, I'm barely functioning because of how exhausted I am.

I forgot to mention that I'm 36 and have two kids (so, two pregnancies behind me, both high-risk and managed with bed rest and tocolytics due to gestational diabetes, contractions, and early dilation—but both ended successfully and full-term).

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Jane

Superman, hang in there!
I feel like you just covered everything I forgot to include in my own endless manifesto a few days ago :-)

I wanted this pregnancy more than anything, and we had been planning for it, though we never actually expected it to happen quite this fast—we figured it would be more like six months or a year down the road. So, honestly, nobody was more shocked (or more thrilled) than me when I saw those two lines on the test! I was absolutely bursting with energy and plans; I fully intended to keep up my entire normal routine, staying active, exercising, working right up until forty-five days before my due date, knocking out several grad school exams, making significant progress on my doctoral dissertation, taking one last solo trip to the coast with my husband (my dates are set for September 8th), hitting all the maternity and baby boutiques, and spending plenty of time walking and bonding with my bump, along with a million other things.

And then, practically overnight, I had to abandon everything or put it on indefinite hold because I ended up on strict bed rest, which, wouldn't you know it, has already dragged on for four months...
Don't get me wrong, I would happily spend nine months cemented to a bed if it meant keeping the baby safe!
But the thing is, it isn't easy to accept that your plans, your desires, and your dreams have been shifted or postponed in a single moment... especially when everyone around you assumes that's exactly how a pregnant woman’s brain is supposed to work the second she finds out! It’s incredibly irritating. A human mind isn't a computer with an on/off switch!

Don't listen to anyone; just stick to your own rhythm and things will work out.
For instance, while stuck in bed, I managed to write four seminar papers—I figured, why not get them out of the way for next year?
Yet, somehow, people always find a way to act surprised and insist on their own narrow views—as if I should be exhausting myself now instead of resting and focusing on the baby... Well, I am thinking about the baby constantly, but I’m still me, and I still have room to think about other things too.

And sure, go ahead and criticize me, but I’m one of those people who is considered "overachieving," because I refuse to believe my life stops moving just because I'm giving birth; I still hope to work, to climb the career ladder, finish my graduate studies, tend to my garden, catch a concert or two, and so on.
It really gets under my skin how much people feel the need to constantly convince me that I'm just chasing pipe dreams! It’s almost as if they're rooting for me to fail at my own ambitions.
Look, I expect my life to turn upside down—in fact, it already has—and I know I'll have to put in a massive amount of extra effort and willpower, deal with the financial strain of both my expenses and the baby's, handle the sacrifices, and navigate the need for extreme flexibility in my scheduling.
But if I start "resigning" myself to the idea now that I won't have any time, or that finishing my degree is impossible, then I certainly won't accomplish any of it.

Anyway, I'm rambling again :-)

...it drives me insane when people act like my entire existence has shrunk down to nothing more than their own unsolicited opinions on pregnancy, labor, and kids, especially when they aren't just offering advice, but are basically weaponizing these patronizing warnings like:
"Oh, just wait until you see how it is, you won't want to go anywhere anymore" (as if I have a social life to begin with), "you won't be able to sleep in until 9" (as if I’m currently sleeping in), "you'll never be alone again," hahaha, "enjoy your solitude while it lasts," or even things like, "better swap out that carpet because once the baby arrives..." or "buy a dishwasher because you won't have time for dishes" (like that's the crisis here), or "you'll be too busy gardening and baking cookies to deal with a baby" (as if dreaming of a garden or having a little organic vegetable patch is some kind of sin, or like feeding a child from your own garden is some impossible Herculean task), "don't bother with cloth diapers because you won't have time to wash them every three days" (implying anyone who does is clearly incompetent), "cut your hair short because you won't be able to manage long hair during labor," and then all the horror stories about birth and breastfeeding... blablablabla....

The reality is I’m practically living in hospitals; I’ve been on bed rest since week 7 (and it’s already been four full months!) and it’s going to stay this way—bleeding, contractions, cervical issues, the whole bit. Most days I am completely alone, constantly in pain and gripped by anxiety, feeling so stiff that my only exercise is rolling from my right side to my left, and honestly, I don't know how life could possibly get any worse than this, yet people still feel the need to explain to me how much more miserable things will be once I actually go into labor. I just don't get it!
And it particularly irritates me how some people think it’s great that I can spend my days reading or watching TV, or how everyone treats me like some pampered guest being served. Please, don't lecture me on how easy I have it unless you've actually lived it!
And yeah, I become the black sheep every time I snap at someone or push back, and nobody seems to grasp why I’m actually so irritable and moody most of the time! Helloooo, even the most perfectly healthy pregnant woman finds things difficult sometimes! Right?

And why on earth do people feel the need to drag up stories about the neighbor, a relative, or an acquaintance who had various miscarriages, lost a baby during delivery, or lost one in the second trimester... and they choose to tell these stories to a pregnant woman who has been explicitly diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage...

Don't even get me started on the doctors! One tells me to take certain pills, another looks at me like I'm crazy and says don't take them. Then there's the bureaucracy—faulty referrals, or "No ma'am, we don't run blood tests for that specific diagnosis, go get a new referral first..." And then there's that condescending attitude where they say, "Don't worry about your cervix, that's our job" (when I was simply asking if it was still dilated like last time—my cervix is part of my body, of course I want to know what's happening with it!)
...I don't trust anyone anymore and, frankly, I'd almost rather just give birth at home!
Sometimes I genuinely wish I had been born five hundred years ago, when nobody knew anything about modern pregnancy complications, when doctors didn't exist, so I could just give birth in the middle of tilling a field, wrap the baby up, and get right back to digging!

It also really gets to me that I am craving sweets so badly... I'm dreaming of cheesecake... but I can't have any because of gestational diabetes. It's infuriating how everyone keeps pushing sweets and treats on me that I shouldn't touch, acting as if a tiny indulgence won't hurt. Well, sure, maybe one bite won't kill me, but doing it every day leads to new complications, and I really don't need those! It's hard enough for me to control myself and stick to this stupid diet, and I'm being incredibly disciplined... but it certainly isn't helping that the people around me won't stop trying to tempt me.

And then there are the comments like—"Wait, you haven't gained any weight???" implying that's a bad thing, or "What about the baby?" The baby is exactly the size it needs to be, healthy and active, whereas I have no legs or glutes left from being immobile, just a stomach and constant nausea... so naturally, I haven't put on much weight yet... but I don't care, because the baby is fine.
But people just won't stop planting seeds of doubt in my head...

I could keep going, but I'm already exhausted! 🙂

p.s. Yep, I totally snapped. 🙂 You don't need to comment on any of this.