Posts by David Watson8

rustydrifter10 said:Was it just a single post, or did you actually start a whole thread with him? On which forum? What was the subject matter? Looking at your profile, the only deleted post I see is from this specific thread—which I removed because it was redundant—but clearly, that isn't what you're referring to. 😁

I started threads—one under "Relationships" and another under "Psychology"—using the same title, but they were addressing different issues... 🙂🤷🙂

rustynomad12 said:Okay, look, I think you might be a little lost here...
The way you laid everything out was super confusing, so let me try to break it down and simplify things—please jump in and correct me if I've got this wrong:

You’re working hard, making good money, but you’ve got a husband who basically ignores you. He’s just living in his own little world and won't lift a finger to help with the grind. He even gives you this "encouragement" to sleep with other people just to bring in more cash, and then he acts all offended if you ever decide to leave him. You feel bad for him, and now you're stuck in this headspace where you actually want to punish yourself (thinking about death)

Honey, what is your actual problem here....?

From where I'm sitting, I just see a big pile of illogical, scattered thoughts. I don't see one specific issue besides the most obvious one: you need to get away from your husband because clearly, being with him isn't working for you anymore...
Are there any other details? Like, who are you actually supporting—him, kids, do you even have kids? What is truly eating at you in all of this?

The kids are grown up.
We married very young and had them one after another.
They live on their own now—working, studying, going about their lives.

What haunts me is what will happen to him, because he is entirely dependent on me.
We tried to separate once, and he spiraled into heavy drinking—calling me incessantly at all hours of the day and night.
I am afraid of him.
I'm afraid he might stalk me.
So, I don't know.
Everything feels jumbled and messy.
Which is why I feel like dying would be my best option.
It seems quite clear that I am simply incapable of living.

Olivia Ward20 said:Here’s your post. 😉

No, honey, that wasn't it.
There was another thread with the exact same title, but it was dealing with a completely different issue...

Could someone please, if you don't mind, explain why my post from a few hours ago was deleted?
thanks!

I’m genuinely worried about how he’s going to manage—his income is pretty limited since he isn't working, and frankly, he doesn't seem particularly motivated to find a job or stay in our house. If I decide to leave—and I’m still trying to figure out why, though perhaps it's because he sees how much this is taking a toll on me—everything changes. I just feel completely lost and overwhelmed right now.

rustynomad12 said:Come on, talk to me, what’s actually the absolute worst-case scenario for YOU if you decide to live by your own rules, your own mindset, and your own decisions—even if those people get hurt?
🙂

It's about my husband—he basically told me to just get lost and never speak to him again, suggested I go live under a bridge or something along those lines. I even offered to walk away from everything—leaving him the house and all our belongings behind—just so I could leave, but he won't accept it.

As I'm typing this out, I can't stop the tears. 🙂

Jacob Mitchell3 said:What exactly caused you to lose your sense of optimism?

To put it bluntly—using a bit of folksy wisdom—it’s been anything but smooth sailing. Life has essentially slapped me in the face a few too many times, and frankly, I’m just done with it all.

I struggle to see any real point in going through the motions. Right now, my job exists solely to cover the bills—that’s it. Even though I bring in a very solid income, I’m the only one in the house actually working. Despite that, I can't afford a single luxury—not even the small things. I can't go to the movies, for instance; the last time I went on a vacation was back in 2005.

When I get home, there isn't a shred of relief waiting for me. My husband stays buried in his hobbies, so the second I walk through the door, the housework starts—laundry, cooking, the whole routine.

We haven't shared a bed in nearly two years. He isn't working, nor is he making any real effort to find a job. Part of me feels almost encouraged to... well, let's say pursue an affair with a manager or someone in a position of authority if it meant bringing more money into the household. But then again, he’s made it quite clear that if I were to step out with some random guy, he’d kill me.

I’m stuck in this limbo where I don't know what to think, and the clock is ticking—we're both in our mid-40s.

I find myself circling back to the idea of death quite often—as if it’s the only logical exit strategy left for my current situation. I used to be a relentless optimist, truly, right up until things started sliding downhill a few years ago. Now, it feels like I’ve just reached my limit with everything; part of me thinks it might be time to simply depart, though—to be perfectly blunt—I lack the courage to actually follow through on that. Even as I write this, there’s this massive weight, like a heavy stone pressing against my chest and throat, making it hard to breathe... I’m living a life that doesn't belong to me, yet I can't find the strength to change any of it because I refuse to cause pain to the people in my life.
Any advice would be appreciated.