Posts by Kevin Turner2

Mine wasn't some destructive disaster—far from it. I actually look back on it with nothing but fond memories. It just left its mark on me, forcing me to grow up and find my footing a lot faster than I expected.

Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, there are a few things on my mind... I’d love to hear some experiences or maybe get an opinion from someone who actually understands human psychology regarding what I’m going through right now.

About a year ago, I fell for this guy, and honestly, he absolutely wrecked me. At first, the relationship was full of these incredible, beautiful moments, but then he just abruptly pulled away. Once I realized something was off, I tried to sit him down and talk about us, but he just turned it around on me, claiming I was "creating problems where none existed." It started with him being distant, dodging hangouts, and basically ghosting my attempts at connection—until I realized I was the only one making any effort while he acted like everything was perfectly fine. We actually broke up for a full month, which was pure agony for me because I had become emotionally dependent on him, while he just kept retreating. He didn't even have the backbone to tell me to my face that he wanted out. To be fair, neither did I. I just couldn't wrap my head around why this was happening. One day we were great, and the next, it was a completely different story.

Eventually, things ended for good, and I spiraled into a total funk. I neglected my classes at NYU, pushed my friends away, and forced myself to go out when I really just wanted to crawl into a hole. I wasn't myself anymore. My friends would get frustrated with me, asking why I was acting this way, but I just couldn't help it.
In the meantime, I didn't try to get close to anyone else because I missed him too much, and frankly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. And I have to admit, there were plenty of wonderful people around me.
I totally put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—it took me a whole year to see it clearly—but still...

I remember talking to a friend back then who told me that at our age (26), almost everyone has one story like this in their past. And looking around, it seems true; nearly everyone I know has dealt with a similar kind of "trauma." I have a friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who would leave her and only come crawling back whenever he needed something, and she just wasn't strong enough to end it.

So now I’m wondering—why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he isn't what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I'll never truly get over this?
The truth is, I can see how much he changed me, and unfortunately, not for the better. How do you move past that?

I’d love to hear about your own experiences after your "traumas"... How long did it take you to recover and get back on your feet? How did it change you? And were you actually able to build healthy, quality relationships with someone else afterward?

I’d ask the moderators to please keep this thread from moving to the venting or US boards, and sorry if this post feels a bit scattered. I’m not exactly feeling 😢

Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, there are a few things on my mind... I’d love to hear some experiences or maybe get an opinion from someone who actually understands human psychology regarding what I’m going through right now.

About a year ago, I fell for this guy, and honestly, he absolutely wrecked me. At first, the relationship was full of these incredible, beautiful moments, but then he just abruptly pulled away. Once I realized something was off, I tried to sit him down and talk about us, but he just turned it around on me, claiming I was "creating problems where none existed." It started with him being distant, dodging hangouts, and basically ghosting my attempts at connection—until I realized I was the only one making any effort while he acted like everything was perfectly fine. We actually broke up for a full month, which was pure agony for me because I had become emotionally dependent on him, while he just kept retreating. He didn't even have the backbone to tell me to my face that he wanted out. To be fair, neither did I. I just couldn't wrap my head around why this was happening. One day we were great, and the next, it was a completely different story.

Eventually, things ended for good, and I spiraled into a total funk. I neglected my classes at NYU, pushed my friends away, and forced myself to go out when I really just wanted to crawl into a hole. I wasn't myself anymore. My friends would get frustrated with me, asking why I was acting this way, but I just couldn't help it.
In the meantime, I didn't try to get close to anyone else because I missed him too much, and frankly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. And I have to admit, there were plenty of wonderful people around me.
I totally put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—it took me a whole year to see it clearly—but still...

I remember talking to a friend back then who told me that at our age (26), almost everyone has one story like this in their past. And looking around, it seems true; nearly everyone I know has dealt with a similar kind of "trauma." I have a friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who would leave her and only come crawling back whenever he needed something, and she just wasn't strong enough to end it.

So now I’m wondering—why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he isn't what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I'll never truly get over this?
The truth is, I can see how much he changed me, and unfortunately, not for the better. How do you move past that?

I’d love to hear about your own experiences after your "traumas"... How long did it take you to recover and get back on your feet? How did it change you? And were you actually able to build healthy, quality relationships with someone else afterward?

I’d ask the moderators to please keep this thread from moving to the venting or US boards, and sorry if this post feels a bit scattered. I’m not exactly feeling 😢

Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, there are a few things on my mind... I’d love to hear some experiences or maybe get an opinion from someone who actually understands human psychology regarding what I’m going through right now.

About a year ago, I fell for this guy, and honestly, he absolutely wrecked me. At first, the relationship was full of these incredible, beautiful moments, but then he just abruptly pulled away. Once I realized something was off, I tried to sit him down and talk about us, but he just turned it around on me, claiming I was "creating problems where none existed." It started with him being distant, dodging hangouts, and basically ghosting my attempts at connection—until I realized I was the only one making any effort while he acted like everything was perfectly fine. We actually broke up for a full month, which was pure agony for me because I had become emotionally dependent on him, while he just kept retreating. He didn't even have the backbone to tell me to my face that he wanted out. To be fair, neither did I. I just couldn't wrap my head around why this was happening. One day we were great, and the next, it was a completely different story.

Eventually, things ended for good, and I spiraled into a total funk. I neglected my classes at NYU, pushed my friends away, and forced myself to go out when I really just wanted to crawl into a hole. I wasn't myself anymore. My friends would get frustrated with me, asking why I was acting this way, but I just couldn't help it.
In the meantime, I didn't try to get close to anyone else because I missed him too much, and frankly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. And I have to admit, there were plenty of wonderful people around me.
I totally put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—it took me a whole year to see it clearly—but still...

I remember talking to a friend back then who told me that at our age (26), almost everyone has one story like this in their past. And looking around, it seems true; nearly everyone I know has dealt with a similar kind of "trauma." I have a friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who would leave her and only come crawling back whenever he needed something, and she just wasn't strong enough to end it.

So now I’m wondering—why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he isn't what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I'll never truly get over this?
The truth is, I can see how much he changed me, and unfortunately, not for the better. How do you move past that?

I’d love to hear about your own experiences after your "traumas"... How long did it take you to recover and get back on your feet? How did it change you? And were you actually able to build healthy, quality relationships with someone else afterward?

I’d ask the moderators to please keep this thread from moving to the venting or US boards, and sorry if this post feels a bit scattered. I’m not exactly feeling 😢

Timothy Cruz6 said:The only strange thing to me is that you're only just having this realization at 26.🙂
Mine hit me at 15 and lasted until I was 17; it left a mark on my life that never truly faded. It was a heavy, traumatic experience, and it took me decades to move past it. Every relationship I had afterward was broken because of that one wrong person at the wrong time. They aren't lying when they say you only love like that once—when you're foolish and blind to everything else happening around you. It never happened again. Instead of fond memories of young love, I’m left with nothing but guilt, shame, and regret for how I spent those years.

I'm 29 now, and perhaps I've only just become a functional human being.

Patrick Alvarez20Honestly, I feel like this entire thread doesn't even belong on this PDF—it belongs on the Wall Street Journal instead. Just like everything else around here. Timothy Cruz6 I noticed something—it’s a bit unusual to be dealing with a story like that at only 26. For both me and her, this kind of thing hit us back when we were 16 or 17. Then again, we aren't all cut from the same cloth; we don't all gain life experience at the same age, nor are those experiences identical. It happens earlier for some and later for others—life doesn't follow a set schedule. But if you ask me, what you're going through is your first real love (and let's face it, every single one is its own unique saga). You can read about mine whenever you have a moment. here She absolutely wrecked me—honestly, for a while there, I was looking for her in every single girl I met. But deep down, I knew that’s just how things go sometimes. I eventually had to accept it and just view her as one beautiful, unforgettable chapter of my life. Luckily for you, time heals everything—it definitely does in this case. You're going to be just fine; you'll get through this. Just focus on crushing it at college, hang out with your friends, and sooner or later, someone will come along who makes you forget all of this, pushing it right into the back of your memory.