Posts by coastalhound58

Are you actually pursuing the degree you wanted, or just following a script? It might be worth asking yourself if the life you're currently leading is one you actually desire—or if you're just checking boxes because you think you're supposed to. Maybe you aren't even being yourself at all. There is also the possibility that you’re simply dealing with depression, which has this way of forcing us to feel exactly the way you described.

Amanda Jackson5 said:Maybe give ayahuasca a shot. Just make sure you really nail down what you're asking before you dive in.

I guess I'll just head over to Google; I haven't the slightest clue what this even is.🙂

edit: Does anyone here actually have experience with this? Not that I'm typically one for any kind of substances, mind you.

Benjamin Taylor6 said:Just switch up the routine and grab a box of those fancy chocolates instead. You know, the ones filled with sweet liqueur.😁

I don't think that'll do much, given that I'm not exactly thrilled with the ishod😁

At this point, I’m finding that neither sex nor chocolate provides any real fulfillment—honestly, I might be a lost cause😲😁

electrictiger25 said:Since we’re already on the subject of "spamming," I feel like this video actually fits the vibe of this discussion quite well...

I wouldn't exactly call myself a social butterfly; I've always been more of a lone wolf...which leads to the strange irony that the larger the crowd, the
more isolated I tend to feel..it's a bit of a paradox, I know..

I find myself in much the same position—I genuinely prefer my own company, mostly because I spend so much time buried in books. I need an enormous amount of solitary time just to recharge. It’s a strange paradox, I suppose; there are moments when I feel like I’m missing human connection, yet the second I actually find myself out in a crowd, all I can think about is getting back home, crawling under a warm blanket, and finally getting lost in a good book.🙄
I suppose I just retreat into this little world of my own making—a small, curated headspace where everything actually makes sense and feels a bit more beautiful than the reality we’re stuck with.

I find myself in agreement—I also struggle to define exactly what I want, though my list of what I refuse to tolerate is quite extensive. For instance, I have zero interest in being coddled, having arbitrary rules forced upon me, or dealing with anyone attempting to play boss—because, frankly, that is precisely when I tend to transform into a bit of a monster.
The only thing I know for certain would truly make me happy is traveling the world—but, unfortunately, I just don't have the means to make that happen right now.

I suppose I’d give just about anything if I could finally pinpoint exactly what it is I’m actually searching for—just so I could actually start moving toward it.
🙂

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Without quoting the entire thing, I completely get you—I’m exactly the same way. Honestly, I don't think you should ever do anything just because it's expected of you. You have to be who you are, not whoever others decide you ought to be; otherwise, life is just one long stretch of misery.

Find your own purpose and chase it—your life belongs to you, and only you.
True success, I suppose, is simply living life on your own terms. Just listen to your gut; whenever you have to make a choice, ask yourself if it's what you truly want. That feeling of either comfort or unease will usually give you the answer.

I'm still searching for my own sense of purpose myself...🙂 and I'll keep looking until I find it.

It seems rather foolish to me how people act like sheep, just doing what they think they have to do without ever pausing to wonder why they're even on this planet in the first place. I suspect we're all here for a reason, and until we actually start living out that reason, we're just going to feel frustrated, dissatisfied, bitter, and empty—no matter what we achieve. If everyone decided to strive for "something more" from their lives, the world would probably be a much better place, and there would be a lot more happy people in it.

Bryan Jackson98 said:I’m not sure if this has been covered yet, but I’ve been wondering about this tendency people have to voluntarily subordinate themselves—essentially placing themselves in a lower tier because they assume someone else is more intelligent. It’s like they stop trying to hold onto their own convictions or become too terrified to push back. I have two specific scenarios playing out in my life. The first involves older generations; for context, I’m just hitting my late teens. They look at me differently the moment I mention I'm heading to an elite prep school, instantly labeling me as some kind of intellectual prodigy who exists on a plane above my peers.
Then there’s the second scenario: when I tell someone my age that I’ll be attending a top-tier academy, they seem to regress, acting even more foolish than before, which I find fascinating. In those moments, once they’ve convinced themselves that they sit at a lower intellectual level than I do, I could practically lead them anywhere; I could convince them that nine is actually less than seven—a banal example, obviously, but that’s the point. I could spout absolute nonsense, and they would nod along, refusing to even take a second to verify the truth. I’m curious about the root cause here. Is it driven by some deep-seated prejudice regarding prep school students and the prestige attached to them? I’m not saying I dislike having this advantage, but I’d love to understand the psychological mechanics behind why people surrender their agency like this.

Personally, I don't judge, nor do I ever place myself in a subordinate position!
Don't generalize like that! Your two little anecdotes aren't exactly a sufficient sample size to draw such a broad conclusion.
For instance, I don't treat someone any differently just because they have a degree from an Ivy League school versus someone who doesn't.
One really needs to actually get to know a person before forming a judgment, and what you're describing here is, at the very least...😂
...neither a choice of high school nor a college degree tells you absolutely anything about a person's actual intellect.

This topic seems more suited for teenagers! I suspect it doesn't really belong here.