I feel like I'm meant for something more...

I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Since this is essentially philosophy, I suppose I should offer a philosophical answer. Though, personally, I think this leans more toward psychology.
Generally speaking, everyone is searching for something "more" out of life. The problem is just defining what that "more" actually is.
Maybe "more" looks like this, though I wouldn't personally recommend it:
http://www.pricajmipricu.com/tag/zen/


A moment of clarity

There was this Buddhist priestess—let’s call her Rionen—born back in 1797. She was actually the granddaughter of that famous Japanese warrior, Shingen. Now, she had this incredibly poetic soul, and honestly, she was so breathtakingly beautiful that by the time she was seventeen, she was already part of the Empress's inner circle as a lady-in-waiting. I mean, fame was practically knocking on her door before she even hit adulthood.

But then—and this is where life gets messy—the beloved Empress dies suddenly. Just like that, all of Rionen's bright, hopeful dreams just... evaporated. It was a harsh wake-up call about how nothing in this world is permanent, which led her to want to study Zen.

Of course, her family wasn't having any of it—they wanted tradition, not spirituality. They basically forced her into marriage. She eventually struck a deal: she’d marry and have three children, and once that was done, she could pursue the priesthood. And true to her word, before she even turned twenty-five, she had fulfilled the requirement. Her husband and relatives couldn't stop her anymore. So, she shaved her head, took the name Rionen—which translates to "clear realization"—and set off on her pilgrimage.

She makes it to the city of Edo and asks a teacher named Tecugua to take her on as a student. He takes one look at her and turns her away immediately—not because of her spirit, but simply because she was too beautiful. Can you imagine? Beauty as a barrier to enlightenment.

So, Rionen goes to see another teacher, Hakua.

And Hakua rejects her for the exact same reason, telling her that her looks would only cause nothing but trouble and distractions.

This is where things get intense. In a move that sounds absolutely gut-wrenching, Rionen takes a red-hot iron and presses it against her own face. In a few short moments, her beauty was gone forever.

Only then did Hakua accept her as a student. To commemorate what she had done, Rionen wrote a poem on the back of a mirror:
“In service to my Empress, I burned incense
to scent her extravagant robes;
Now, as a homeless wanderer, I burn my own
face to enter the Zen temple.”

Before she passed away, Rionen left behind one more poem:
“Sixty-six times these eyes have watched
the changing of the autumn seasons.
I have questioned the moonlight enough;
I ask no more.
I listen only to the sound of pines and cedars in the moment when
the wind falls still.”

Why don't you just be blunt with them? Tell them straight up that marriage isn't on the table and kids aren't happening for at least the next decade—if ever! Honestly, there is absolutely nothing weird about that. And your friends who *do* want those things? They aren't weird either. Everyone has different priorities, right? No one is a robot programmed to satisfy everyone else's expectations.

All those people talking nonsense about a "biological clock"? Please, they're just talking out of turn. Why on earth would you bring a child into this world if you aren't ready to take care of them right now? That would actually be the worst thing you could do to yourself and the kid.

Look, by the time you're 23, it should be crystal clear that nobody has any right to dictate how you live your life. Just sit down, have a heart-to-heart with yourself, figure out what you actually want, and decide how to make it happen. But there’s really no point in blaming others or acting like they're somehow "wrong" just because their life plans look different from yours.

And as for your parents... Ugh, sometimes parents just don't get that their kids aren't clones or extensions of themselves meant to finish their unfinished business. Don't sweat it too much, though. Once you start living life on your own terms, trust me, you won't even have the headspace to worry about what anyone else thinks.

If we’re talking psychology, someone please just relocate my entire existence to that subforum. Honestly, I might as well move over to the "depression" thread so I can transition from being a perfectly sane woman
into a complete lunatic, much like Nicholson in *One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest* 😁

Capsule — look, I wasn't trying to imply that I'm somehow "superior" to anyone else who thinks
or wants different things out of life... I just needed to vent a little... and perhaps confirm that I'm not drifting through this alone..

electrictiger25 said:If we’re talking psychology, someone please just relocate my entire existence to that subforum. Honestly, I might as well move over to the "depression" thread so I can transition from being a perfectly sane woman
into a complete lunatic, much like Nicholson in *One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest* 😁

Capsule — look, I wasn't trying to imply that I'm somehow "superior" to anyone else who thinks
or wants different things out of life... I just needed to vent a little... and perhaps confirm that I'm not drifting through this alone..

That isn't depression. It’s just the search for meaning in life. And let me tell you, that is a complicated business. Plus, it’s deeply personal to every single one of us.

Benjamin Taylor6 said:That isn't depression. It’s just the search for meaning in life. And let me tell you, that is a complicated business. Plus, it’s deeply personal to every single one of us.

So, I suppose I am slowly drifting into the world of adulthood... assuming, of course, there is actually some kind of recipe out there for finding purpose.😢

electrictiger25 said:If we’re talking psychology, someone please just relocate my entire existence to that subforum. Honestly, I might as well move over to the "depression" thread so I can transition from being a perfectly sane woman
into a complete lunatic, much like Nicholson in *One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest* 😁

Capsule — look, I wasn't trying to imply that I'm somehow "superior" to anyone else who thinks
or wants different things out of life... I just needed to vent a little... and perhaps confirm that I'm not drifting through this alone..

Trust me, you are definitely not alone! Seriously. I actually walked away from my degree halfway through—even though I was doing great in my classes. But the thing was, I just wasn't happy. I finally realized I only signed up for it because my parents expected me to, you know? Total trap! And then there was my ex. I ended up breaking things off with him, too. It was such a weird situation because my whole family absolutely loved him! They were convinced he was "the one." Isn't that just absurd? Like, honestly, who cares what they think? Not me, that's for sure! 😁

It sounds like you’re feeling pretty bitter toward your family right now. I totally get it! Honestly, I felt the exact same way for a long time. But then it finally clicked for me: what am I actually gaining from all this? Nothing! I realized I needed to stop looking backward and start focusing on my own goals while I still have the drive to make things happen. Why waste precious energy on anger, old grudges, and endless fighting? That's energy you could be using for the things that actually matter to you! That's really all I'm trying to say. 🙂

electrictiger25 said:So, I suppose I am slowly drifting into the world of adulthood... assuming, of course, there is actually some kind of recipe out there for finding purpose.😢

Just do what you love and try not to step on anyone else's toes while you're at it.🙂

I’m twenty-six years old, and honestly, I haven’t a clue what I want out of life. And you know what? I’m actually okay with that. The only time I find myself slipping into depression is when I’m surrounded by people who seem to have every single detail mapped out—those folks constantly discussing their five-year plans, their massive mortgages, their career trajectories, or bragging about their exceptionally gifted, high-achieving children. It can be quite draining. Fortunately, I’m currently living in my mom’s basement; otherwise, I think I might actually lose my mind trying to keep up with everyone else.

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Without quoting the entire thing, I completely get you—I’m exactly the same way. Honestly, I don't think you should ever do anything just because it's expected of you. You have to be who you are, not whoever others decide you ought to be; otherwise, life is just one long stretch of misery.

Find your own purpose and chase it—your life belongs to you, and only you.
True success, I suppose, is simply living life on your own terms. Just listen to your gut; whenever you have to make a choice, ask yourself if it's what you truly want. That feeling of either comfort or unease will usually give you the answer.

I'm still searching for my own sense of purpose myself...🙂 and I'll keep looking until I find it.

It seems rather foolish to me how people act like sheep, just doing what they think they have to do without ever pausing to wonder why they're even on this planet in the first place. I suspect we're all here for a reason, and until we actually start living out that reason, we're just going to feel frustrated, dissatisfied, bitter, and empty—no matter what we achieve. If everyone decided to strive for "something more" from their lives, the world would probably be a much better place, and there would be a lot more happy people in it.

I’m running some workshops focused on finding purpose for anyone interested. Feel free to reach out if you want in. ^^

Jacob Sanchez7 said:I’m running some workshops focused on finding purpose for anyone interested. Feel free to reach out if you want in. ^^

Everything is just a hustle to make a buck... 😬

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

No, you aren't. In fact, it is perfectly normal—it really ought to be. Honestly, the more people who start questioning this status quo, the better. We would all be much better off if we could somehow break away from this automated, robotic way of living and inject a bit of genuine soul and depth back into our collective existence.

electricdriver33 said:Everything is just a hustle to make a buck... 😬

🤦

I went through something similar myself—and let's just say there was no returning to "normal" life. I quit my job, dropped out of college, and spent about six to eight hours a day meditating in pursuit of the Truth. It’s become my purpose—my... whatever you want to call that higher calling. If I had to do it all over again right now, I probably would.

I suppose I don't know what the future holds. Life outside of a structured program is tough; you basically have to abandon everything. Maybe I'll head to a monastery, maybe I'll end up wandering the country as a drifter, or find some niche hobby and try to make a living off it... 🤷

But honestly? In the end, I realized I don't even care. Whatever Reality decides to throw my way, I'll just adapt. And frankly, I'm actually quite happy to be done with that whole "normal" life thing.

driftingraven122 said:I went through something similar myself—and let's just say there was no returning to "normal" life. I quit my job, dropped out of college, and spent about six to eight hours a day meditating in pursuit of the Truth. It’s become my purpose—my... whatever you want to call that higher calling. If I had to do it all over again right now, I probably would.

I suppose I don't know what the future holds. Life outside of a structured program is tough; you basically have to abandon everything. Maybe I'll head to a monastery, maybe I'll end up wandering the country as a drifter, or find some niche hobby and try to make a living off it... 🤷

But honestly? In the end, I realized I don't even care. Whatever Reality decides to throw my way, I'll just adapt. And frankly, I'm actually quite happy to be done with that whole "normal" life thing.

Cleaned that up for you a bit. 😁

Btw, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o this might give you guys some much-needed perspective. It's excellent.

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Hello.

I don't mean to alarm you, but if you continue to follow that internal "voice" or those nagging questions currently haunting you, you should prepare for an increasing number of inner conflicts. You will find yourself pulled in opposing directions, one part of your psyche dragging you one way while another pulls you the opposite, until you finally commit to a definitive path.

Based on what you've shared and the nature of your inquiries, it seems evident that you possess the potential for much more than just a "standard," conventional, secular existence. This suggests you may have a calling toward the spiritual realm—to perform acts of service for others and to surrender yourself to THAT purpose.

If my assessment is correct and you continue down this road, I would advise you to be brave and pursue it regardless of the cost. It will be a difficult journey, fraught with potential friction and misunderstanding from those around you. You may face ridicule or even rejection from everyone—friends, family, your entire social circle. But believe me, there is no greater freedom, no deeper joy, and no more profound fulfillment than what you will discover on that path. It is there that we truly find ourselves, encounter our primal essence, and live Life in its absolute fullness. We "soar like birds" and become who we were truly meant to be. In short, we gain everything... not to mention the ability to share the fruits of that journey by helping others.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

Best regards,

This is a textbook illustration of what Heidegger describes as living an authentic life. What we're looking at here is someone striving for that genuine sense of being, yet they haven't quite grasped that inner core of resolve—what Heidegger would call *Entschlossenheit*. Even though they're staring down the absolute nothingness that comes from projecting their existence toward the future (since, let's face it, death is the ultimate deadline), that very necessity forces them to embrace authenticity. Heidegger often points to Martin Luther as the gold standard for this; he wasn't the type to mumble, "I suppose I should probably do this," but rather to declare, "Here I am, and I can do no other."

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Maybe it’s because everything in your life doesn't just "revolve around sex." Either you're some closeted lesbian who’s eventually going to wake up and actually do something about it... or maybe you're just spiritual, or an adventurer looking for something out of the ordinary. Regardless, you'll figure yourself out (to yourself), and I guess that's what matters...

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

That sense of emptiness and anxiety is actually a sign of progress; it means you’re starting to consciously seek a higher purpose rather than just blindly following the "correct" social script handed to you by society.

We haven't all arrived in this physical dimension at the same stage of development, so trying to impose universal rules for living—claiming there is only one "right" way for everyone—is completely pointless.
There are certain stereotypes and social frameworks used to define what is considered "normal" or "right," and people feel pressured to fit into them just to avoid being labeled as weird.
"Normal" means having kids at a specific age, getting married within a certain timeframe, raising a family, pursuing certain careers, and settling down in a predictable way.
Because everyone is at a different level of growth, these rules simply cannot be universal. Someone might currently be in a phase where they desire a partner, marriage, and children, and if that brings them fulfillment, then that path is right for them. Another person might be in a stage where entirely different pursuits resonate more deeply.
The friction always arises when you try to force square pegs into round holes, or vice versa.
In every post I write, I emphasize that we aren't here to mold ourselves to fit others, nor should we force others to conform to us just to make things comfortable. We have the right—and more importantly, the power—to do what fulfills us and feels good, regardless of how others perceive our choices, themselves, or anyone else. Live the life you chose while allowing others the space to live the lives they have chosen.
What is "right" for you is whatever makes you feel truly authentic, and that should be your only metric for making life decisions. Someone who is aligned with themselves in this way has no inherent need to cause harm to others.

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

That is honestly the worst thing you could do for yourself. You have the right to your own choices and interests, and the only true measure of correctness is how you feel about your actions. Whatever fulfills you is right for you, so hold onto that, no matter what anyone else thinks. Other people have their own versions of "right," and that's fine. Just don't let anyone interfere in your life, just as you wouldn't interfere in theirs.

People put on masks and live within self-imposed limitations just to please others because they are mediocre; they worry too much about what their relatives, friends, neighbors, or Peter from the third floor will say. They spend their lives acting—or not acting—based on the expectations of others, accumulating resentment inside and convincing themselves it's "normal" because it's "how things are." People end up living for everyone else instead of themselves because they fail to realize they possess the right and the power to live however they please, without any external force dictating what is necessary or correct.

Furthermore, you can never truly satisfy everyone; in fact, the more you cater to them, the more their happiness becomes tethered to your compliance, making them increasingly demanding.
Regardless of your lifestyle or career, there will always be an equal distribution of people who support you, those who don't, and those who simply couldn't care less. Even the most revered saints and the most notorious criminals in history were surrounded by a third who cheered them on, a third who opposed them, and a third who remained indifferent.
Therefore, just mind your own business.