9 posts shown.
Bradley Wells said:I’ll tell you this: you made me cry so hard I don't even have the strength to write much. If I had more money, I'd send it to you in a heartbeat, but I'm in the same boat. I don't have a father, I live with my mom and brother on a pension, and I just lost my job... We deal with crises all the time too, but still... I want to wish you so much luck in life. My eyes are full of tears, God, you really touched my heart.
Sorry for making you sad... 😢
I wasn't trying to beg for money, and I definitely wouldn't take any, but thanks for the support. Good luck with everything else in your life 🙂
silentgardener19 said:You’re honestly in a massive amount of trouble 😢
No kidding 😁
I’m not talking about those specific hours during lectures... I mean the whole stretch of time, you know? Like, whenever classes are actually in session and we aren't on break 🙂
Kimberly Watson said:It’s a fascinating field of study, truly—but you really have to keep one thing in mind... if you want to actually make a living out of it here in the States, you must be at the very top of your class. Unfortunately, that seems to be the reality of the job market...
I know, and I’m planning on putting in the work. I'm genuinely interested in this... I know I'll enjoy my time at university, and honestly, I think I'll love it once I'm actually out in the workforce too... 🙂
velvetranger16 said:Personally, I would look for a job through the university's student employment office—something like stocking shelves at a CVS or maybe tutoring after classes in Washington, D.C. in the evenings. A dorm would be the perfect housing option for you. You should apply, even if your parents are against it. Perhaps aim for next year if not now.
You will certainly need some extra cash, even just to cover train fare to get to campus, so finding a side hustle is essential. I worked throughout my college years myself.
I’m definitely going to find something once college starts. I had no idea you could actually work while classes are in session...
Chloe Barnes3 said:Man, I’m sorry you’re going through all this.. really hope things turn around for you.
Maybe try snapping some pics and listing them online? If you set a "fair" price, I bet someone would snap them up in a heartbeat.
Thanks.. 🙂 but I already tried that. I maybe got two or three orders and then nothing. People just don't have the time or the interest in art anymore... And I'm barely charging more than the cost of materials and a little something "for coffee"...
granitefalcon26 said:In my experience, the students who travel or live in dorms always perform the best and actually graduate on time. They're usually driven to finish up fast so they can start their independent lives. What's your major?
Archaeology and anthropology.
Thanks for all the support, everyone...
Amanda Edwards4 said:Look, sorry, but you’re going to lose your mind commuting by bus or train every single day. Do you have any idea how exhausting that is? It’s not just the extra money you'll burn through; you won't have any time left for yourself.
You HAVE to move home. Whatever reasons your parents are using, they sound incredibly selfish and irrational to me. College isn't some joke; you need the right environment to succeed, and that means peace, stability, and independence.
They're basically hoping they can flip the house and move to the city at any moment... besides, I've been used to this kind of grind since high school.
It’s going to be exhausting, especially with a three-hour commute, but I'll find a way to manage...
Anyway, I just checked and the application window for this year is already closed... so I guess I'll just aim for the next one.
Kimberly Watson said:And you aren't even pushing them to tell you what those specific reasons actually are? 😕
I always get the same canned response: "We have our reasons, we know what's best for you." It’s like they think I don't know how to take care of myself, which isn't true at all. They act like I'm just going to bolt and that we'll only see each other once every felony... Which also isn't true. But you can't prove anything to people like that...
Lawrence Peterson66 As requested by:
Student employment programs exist specifically so people can earn some cash while they're still in school. So, yeah, obviously you can pick up a side hustle alongside your classes, provided your schedule actually lets you... It's completely legal, too. 🙂
As far as this whole support situation goes... I know it stings when they don't give a damn. Just try not to rely on them for validation. It’s better that way...
Are you asking too much of them? Honestly, it looks like they’re just completely burnt out. They're stressed, exhausted, dealing with a disabled father, and now the mother is sick on top of it... Life has probably just beaten them down until they've gone numb. Maybe they aren't exactly in the right headspace to participate in your painting sessions the way you want them to—you know, actually giving you critiques or helpful advice... To be honest, I don't know anyone whose parents actually do that.
I'm not ready to jump the gun and say they're just closed-minded or totally checked out... or that they don't give a damn about what matters to you. Not yet...
Look, you know exactly how this plays out. If they’re part of that other crowd, you might as well start training yourself now to stop looking to them for any kind of validation or pride. Once you finally let go of that expectation—once you just accept the reality of who they are—the disappointment stops hitting so hard. It'll be easier on you...
I get that things are tough for them right now, and I really try not to burden them with my nonsense. Compared to most "rebellious" teenagers out there, I’ve never been a handful. I’m not asking for much... just a little bit of support for what I’m actually doing with my life. Most of the time, I treat them more like friends. We can talk about anything, but only when things actually get serious. Now, it’s different. I either get completely ignored or I’m getting lectured over the most trivial, mindless stuff. One time they actually threatened to ground me, and I just looked at them and said, "What are you even going to take away? My nights out? Or my reading, drawing, and studying? Because those are basically the only things you actually have control over..."
Look, the whole situation with my parents? That’s actually the least of my worries in this mess...
Anyway, I’m not planning on taking a break because I’ve already been sitting on my hands for a year. I used to think you couldn't land a student job while classes were actually in session... you know, legally.
Regarding scholarships, I’m going to apply for that one from the Department of Veterans Affairs. I'm honestly pretty stoked about college and I've really committed to this, so I'm hoping for some kind of merit award if I end up at the top of my class.
My parents won't let me live in the dorms. They have their own reasons...
I genuinely love painting; it’s how I unwind. But honestly, it ends up being even more depressing when I pour 20 hours straight into a piece, only to have a friend or parent just give me an "mhm" or maybe a "that's nice." Zero interest. When I ask my parents for actual constructive criticism, they just tell me it looks great and there's nothing to fix. And the thing is, they graduated from General Electric, and they actually have an appreciation for art, even if they don't do it anymore. It’s obvious now that they just don't care, especially when I can see glaring mistakes myself. Objectively, I don't think my work is so bad that it deserves a shrug. Especially since I have such a unique style... I just wish they’d be real with me about whether they like it or not, and why, so I can actually get better.
Thanks for the support, everyone. I really hope things turn out just like Lawrence Peterson66 said...
It’s hard to shake this feeling, especially when it gets shoved in my face passively-aggressively. Apparently, being 19 means I should already be totally self-sufficient, yet most jobs are off-limits because they're supposedly "beneath me." My dad is convinced that kids my age can just land a job in five minutes flat.
On the flip side, since I'm a college student, I'm pretty much stuck using those student employment agencies if I want to stay on the right side of the law. Then there's the whole issue of commuting costs—I seriously can't afford the gas or transit to get anywhere, but I have to somehow make it work until that first paycheck hits...
I hate how jealous I get when a friend buys new shoes, even though she already owns like four pairs just like them. Or when she treats herself to something small for a few bucks and I can't even manage that... then the guilt just eats me alive, making me feel like a terrible person...
I used to be so passionate about painting; it really gave me a sense of purpose. But then I realized just how impossible it is to actually make a career out of it. Now, I just feel like my art is worthless, which makes me feel like I am too...
So... here's the situation.
I'm 19, just finished high school, and I just started college, which I was actually really excited about. I live out in the sticks near the city, but close enough that commuting back and forth costs me about $10. Money is my biggest issue right now. My dad is a disabled veteran, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer this year; she already had surgery, and there's more treatment coming that we have no idea how we're going to afford... We're living off my dad's disability check, which ends up being around $667 after the bank takes its monthly cut for his loan. That’s what we have left to cover the utilities and just survive month to month.
We've been trying to sell our house for three years, but nobody's buying. We're at the point where we're basically offering it for half what it's worth just to get rid of it. The bathroom is a total wreck, and we don't even have hot water. We've been eating nothing but potatoes and rice for months... Basically, we are completely screwed financially.
Today, my dad just snapped and lost it on me because the TV was on for maybe half an hour and I wasn't even watching it. Wasting electricity, he said. And that's when I just broke... I can't take it anymore.
I feel guilty for everything. Guilty for even being born, honestly, because if I hadn't been, Mom would be staying with her brothers and Dad would probably be doing okay on his own—he’s a good guy when he's solo. I get that everyone is stressed, but I can't be the punching bag for everyone's frustrations anymore... I'm blamed for wasting electricity, for eating food that costs money, and since I'm a girl, I'm even a burden for needing pads every month.
At the start of the summer, I found a job waiting tables at a local diner nearby, but my dad went ballistic over it. He won't allow his daughter to be a waitress and deal with drunks hitting on her. I'm terrified I won't be able to go to college because of the money and transportation; a monthly transit pass is about $283... which makes it even harder to find a student job in the city. I feel lucky whenever I can make maybe $100-$67 selling my drawings and paintings, but nobody cares about art these days, so it's rare...
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel useless, worthless... I always worked so hard to get straight A's and make my parents proud. I've barely gone out in my life, I've never asked them for anything... and now I just feel like I'm a weight around their necks. I'm so scared for Mom and her illness, it's terrifying...
I wish I could tell myself this is just a phase, a temporary crisis, that things will get better... but it's been like this for as long as I can remember, with very little changing.
Because of all this, along with some other failures in my life, I've become really self-destructive. I've started hating myself and punishing myself whenever I feel guilty about something. It hurts inside. I cry constantly and I don't know what to do. This whole thing has become too much to carry, and I think about suicide, even though I couldn't actually go through with it. But the thought keeps looping in my head—how nice it would be if I just wasn't here, so all this pain and guilt would just stop.
My dream is just to have $200-$100 that I could spend just on myself. To grab some takeout, buy a decent book, a piece of clothing, maybe some makeup... But even if I had that money, I wouldn't be able to spend it on myself because I'd know that tomorrow we'll still be wondering what we're going to eat...
What do I do? How do I get out of this?