Losing a loved one: "Life just doesn't feel worth it anymore
in Spirituality ·
Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Honestly, it’s hard to wrap your head around someone being in that kind of headspace. And man, it’s even harder to know when to call it quits and stop trying. So, what's actually left for us to do? I guess we just listen—really listen—and then try to pull them back into the world by doing stuff they actually enjoy. Maybe grab a burger or hit up a game.
Look, I'll try to put this into some kind of logical perspective, though I know it might land wrong: "Stop letting the loss of someone consume you. I know, I know—that sounds cold, but it’s just the way things work in this life; everyone who's here eventually leaves. And hey, if there really is an afterlife, think about it this way—you're basically just causing that person more grief by staying stuck in this misery. They wouldn't want to look down and see you wasting your life away because of them. Try to get out more, hang with people, and find something that actually makes you smile. You can't undo what happened, but don't let one death cause you to drift away from your friends and family. Just live—cherish the time you have right now with the people who are still standing here with you."
Nicholas Gonzalez8, that was a lovely sentiment, truly, but—if I'm being honest—it doesn't actually help. I know this because I lost one of my absolute favorite people myself quite recently (less than two months ago, actually). A conversation only provides relief in the exact moment it's happening; once it's over, the void returns. Only time helps. Patience, empathy... and for heaven's sake, avoiding criticism. If that person needs to talk about the person they lost, then you just listen. You listen and you listen again, even if you have to do it a hundred times. You try to convince them they shouldn't feel guilty—assuming they're struggling with guilt—even though they probably won't accept it anyway. For me, two specific things provided a bit of solace: the book *Angels in My Hair* by Lorna Byrne and a testimony from Gloria (there's a little 35-page booklet about it online). They helped me believe that everything happened exactly as it was meant to, that there is an afterlife, and that eventually, we will all be reunited with our loved ones. Maybe buy them a book? They'll likely read it, even if they aren't particularly inclined to believe in such things... that was my case, too. I'm still sad, mind you, but somehow I've managed to move forward, whereas for a while there, I simply couldn't.