Losing a loved one: "Life just doesn't feel worth it anymore
in Spirituality ·
Justin Garcia7 said:In short, how can I offer spiritual comfort to someone grieving a deep loss? They were incredibly close to this person—talking every single day—and now that they're gone, it feels like life has lost all meaning. It’s hard to watch them suffer like this; they've spiraled into such a dark place and have completely neglected themselves. Even though some time has passed since the death, things aren't getting better. Spiritual teachers often say that being too attached isn't healthy, but how do you explain that to someone who doesn't see the world through a spiritual lens? It feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. They've shut everyone else out and only find any semblance of joy in their remaining family members, which makes me terrified of what would happen if they lost someone else. I try to bring up spiritual perspectives to help, but all they say is that the memories are killing them and that there's no point in looking forward because you won't be conscious to experience anything anyway.
I just need the right words to help them start finding happiness in the world again, rather than just clinging to the few people they have left.
For me, this book was a lifeline: http://www.nakladaslap.com/knjige.as...8a7b363578a868 which explores the entire concept of grief in general, including the passing of those closest to us.
I firmly believe that time is the most critical factor here. Initially, nobody accounts for that strange period where you haven't even fully processed the reality of the loss yet. It took me three full months before my brain actually registered what had happened, because you essentially operate on some sort of autopilot—going to work, paying the bills, eating, sleeping, maintaining a social life, just functioning...
And once that realization hits... it’s just pure depression, a complete lack of any willpower whatsoever. A total mental fog, zero emotional capacity, and a level of courage that feels like "Hit me up life, things can't possibly get any worse than this."
I like to think of myself as a spiritual person, so I spent that time trying to find some sort of higher purpose or meaning, but it was an uphill battle because most of my being back then was consumed by sadness, a sadness that felt massive and infinite...
A person simply needs time to process everything, to purge all that sorrow from their system, to just weep... in my case, nearly five years have passed, and it wasn't until about two years in that I finally started feeling like myself again... though I still have days where the realization that I lost the person I loved most hits me all over again, and it all comes rushing back—the grief, the misery, the sheer pointlessness of it all. Some days are easier to manage than others.
Perhaps something that might actually spark a change is bringing in a complete stranger to talk to them... sometimes, having a perspective from someone entirely outside of your own circle can be the thing that helps...