Posts by Dennis Alvarez2

Kenneth Garcia9 said:I’m looking back at the quoted post and I’m just lost on the logic here. frupy was simply pointing out the difference between a student who swings from a failing grade to a B through corrections all year long, versus a student who consistently pulls Bs and just misses an A by a single point. Where exactly is the "enjoyment" in that...

Since I have already explained where the mockery lies, and given that your question remains while my response was deleted, it is clear that I was not in the right; in fact, quite the opposite. Your question stands, as does the message. I understood the sentiment, just as others did before me. I will not be participating or posting in this thread any longer; in fact, I intend to unsubscribe from this topic entirely. I am stepping away quietly and with dignity, or so I hope. 😁 Allow me a few final thoughts.

I believe one of the fundamental flaws in the American education system is not merely the lack of rigorous vetting during teacher hiring, but rather the inability to remove those weak links—the individuals who fail to perform their duties with honor, quality, and professionalism—once they are identified. These include, among others, the teachers who are arrogant, condescending, and unjust, openly favoring certain students while brutally penalizing others simply because they find them unlikable. They are the educators devoid of self-reflection, who refuse to engage in dialogue, who insist they are always right, and who aggressively impose their own values and views on everyone else. They demand constant obedience and submission from both children and parents, looking down upon them with contempt, mocking them, and living for the power trip every single year. They operate with shifting criteria, being lenient toward one child today and crushing another tomorrow. Unfortunately, many children and families are left permanently traumatized by such instructors, and many never reach their full potential because they simply could not survive being in the presence of such people.

These are the teachers who have lost their way and have no business in a classroom; once they enter the system, it seems only physical misconduct would be enough to force them out. They are often intellectually mediocre, having long since abandoned the idea of lifelong learning, and some struggle even to express themselves clearly, reserving their creative energy solely for belittling students from a position of authority. For years and decades, these individuals undermine their own profession and erode the public's trust in the entire school system. As long as such people remain untouchable and their negligence, incompetence, or lack of integrity goes unpunished, there can be no quality in our education, and reforms will achieve nothing. We will simply continue to go in circles. When unprofessionalism becomes the standard, when laziness is covered up, and when problems are swept under the rug, then we must truly worry for the sake of our citizens and our children...

Good luck to all the parents enrolling their children in high school this year; I wish you an enrollment process with minimal stress, anxiety, and apprehension. Most importantly, I hope your children find themselves satisfied with their chosen programs, learning from educators who are qualified, professional, stable, fair, and genuinely positive human beings. I hope they find schools where hiring is selective, where smart and honest teachers instruct, where criteria are transparent and convincing, and where there is healthy authority rooted in mutual respect. Best regards! 🙂

northerntiger9 said:The whole point of the recent reform was to move away from focusing solely on averages—grades shouldn't just be about the numbers. The idea was to reduce the number of formal, numeric grades and increase qualitative feedback, looking at the student's progress as a whole. It’s not a bad approach—even top students deserve a bad day now and then. If we did it the way you suggest, a straight-A student could have a few perfect scores, then catch a stomach bug or a fever during a test and end up with a 4.43 average—which effectively drags them down to a B.

Or take a kid with solid grades around a 4.6 or 4.7 all year. Then, in the final week of school, they take a big exam, the teacher is exhausted, and because there weren't enough prior grades recorded, the teacher decides to break that one exam into three separate mini-grades. Since each part carries less weight, one mistake results in a 4—suddenly, you have three 4s on the record, the average drops to 4.4, and the kid loses their A. We're talking about 10-year-olds in elementary school here, not high schoolers.

So—God forbid we ever go back to a system where elementary schools rely exclusively on robotic, arithmetic-based grading.

I see the logic there. For students with genuinely high averages across most subjects, having decimals helps smooth out the variance. Instead of everything being simplified into a blunt integer, it rewards those with higher precision. Someone with a 3.91 in Science or a 3.88 in Math clearly earns that rounding advantage over someone sitting at a 3.51. It’s also different when you compare a student with a 2.5 in Science to one with a 3.4. Ultimately, a grade can be raised through extra effort, such as turning in extra credit, improving a notebook, or performing well on an oral presentation. We also deal with massive inconsistency regarding failing grades; some teachers allow retakes while others don't, and some still count the original failing mark in the final average while others ignore it once it's corrected. It creates a lot of uncertainty.

I agree that the overall GPA isn't the most important thing. Usually, the most frustrating gap is seeing a student stuck between a 3.5 and a 4.4.

We actually have "winners" this year; kids with a 3.5-something have to show up on Friday or Monday to prove they deserve an A. The report card already shows a "proposed B," with a note saying, "Proposed B, but if the student wants an A, they must pass this specific assessment." You can't beat that level of pressure! 🙏🤦

It's interesting how much more lenient teachers are when rounding a 2.6 or 2.7 up to a 3.0, compared to the kids sitting at a 3.6 or 3.7 trying to reach a 4.0. They find it easiest to help the kids who need a passing grade or a slight nudge toward a C. That's why the real struggle is always for those hovering right at the edge of an A or a B. 😁

It’s honestly surprising to me that San Francisco has such a limited selection of high schools. The lower entry requirements there might suggest that the grades aren't being inflated quite as aggressively, though I can't say for certain. Personally, I find myself leaning toward the idea of national standardized testing. It would function much like the SATs—tests administered under strict conditions with sealed materials until the moment they begin. Implementing a uniform standard across the entire United States would ensure that students with genuine talent and knowledge receive a fair assessment, while simultaneously providing invaluable data regarding the performance of individual teachers and institutions. Of course, I wouldn't mind if schools kept their own entrance exams; allowing each school to set its own specific criteria and expectations for incoming students seems perfectly reasonable.

Furthermore, I feel strongly that grading should be calculated to two decimal places rather than rounding off a 3.5 and a 4.4 into the same value. When you round everything up, you end up with those frantic, last-minute scrambles where a student sitting at a 4.3 or 4.4 spends the final two weeks of the semester desperately trying to claw their way to a 4.4, just to be lumped in with the students who maintained a steady 4.8 or 5.0 all year long. I truly wish I understood the reasoning behind why we don't implement two-decimal grading instead of this simplified system, which puts unnecessary pressure on teachers at the end of the term and feels fundamentally unfair to the students who have been consistently high achievers. So many people advocate for this change, yet it seems to be perpetually ignored, so I am genuinely curious about what arguments are being used to block it. 🤔 Has a two-decimal grading scale ever actually existed within our American school systems? I don't recall it ever being part of the curriculum, though I haven't followed the nuances closely enough to be sure. 🤔

I suppose there is a certain quiet elegance to being able to observe everything from such a distance without feeling the need to intervene. Dennis Alvarez2 says:
Just like any other profession, you find that education is split between those who truly love what they do and people who just clock in from nine to five, strictly following the curriculum with absolutely zero creativity. In my view, the system itself is flawed because it forces all students into the same mold; some will naturally thrive while others simply sink, yet there are rarely any consequences for teachers who fail to perform. I was fortunate enough that my children had three or four exceptional teachers during their elementary school years who actually pushed them, motivated them, and found ways to bring out their absolute best—they were few and far between, but they made all the difference. It’s telling that high schoolers are given surveys to evaluate their instructors, yet that level of accountability never seems to exist in middle school.

My previous colleagues were quite similar to you, including two teachers who followed that exact same pattern; they wouldn't bother buying extra textbooks because they simply borrowed them from their peers, and they would also print out last year's tests to use for study prep. In fact, they prepared materials for every single lesson and exam, which they always made sure to pass along to me. 🤣 My son doesn't exactly follow those methods, but I don't see that as an issue at all. I truly believe there is no single right way to raise a child, and I am perfectly comfortable with everyone choosing the path they feel is best for their own family. We are all different, and honestly, that diversity is exactly why we are here—to share our unique perspectives and learn from one another's experiences.

That’s right, the three of us have been swapping materials back and forth. 🙂 I also encourage my child to host playdates or head over to friends' houses so they can study together, and while I realize it might not be the most efficient way to tackle schoolwork, there is something genuinely charming about listening to them quiz and explain concepts to one another from the next room. It breaks up the usual routine quite nicely.

I honestly believe one of the most significant flaws in our American school system is the failure to teach students actual study skills—things like how to read effectively, how to memorize information, and how to properly recall what they have learned. Some kids manage to figure this out on their own during elementary school, others stumble upon it in high school or college, and some struggle through their entire academic career because they never mastered these basics. This lack of guidance often leads students to opt for easier paths or less rigorous schools simply because they haven't been equipped with the right tools. I am firmly convinced that any child can be helped to master these techniques, because at its core, learning is a skill that can be refined. While it is true that you cannot turn every single child into a surgeon—natural limitations certainly exist—I am absolutely certain that every student can be "upgraded" if they are given the right methodology. The current system operates under the flawed assumption that children should arrive in the classroom already knowing how to learn, which is a massive systemic weakness. Suddenly, in middle school, students are expected to memorize vast sets of definitions, concepts, and data points, yet the only tool ever suggested is something like mind mapping. Even then, those maps are often too reductive, consisting of vague terms floating around a center point, and they are only applicable to a handful of specific subjects. I would love to see the textbooks used in American universities to train future teachers; specifically, I want to know which methods are being suggested to these aspiring educators and why these strategies aren't being prioritized in actual classrooms. This wasn't taught when I was in school either. After all, what other explanation is there for a child who is brilliant, energetic, funny, and incredibly curious to still be drowning in their schoolwork? I am not speaking as a professional researcher here, but rather from my own observations of the children in my life.

I have never quite understood that persistent argument suggesting that if a student didn't excel during their elementary school years, they are somehow disqualified from getting into a competitive prep school. I see people on this forum making these sort of prophetic claims all the time, insisting that if a child hasn't mastered total independence by a certain age, they simply aren't cut out for an advanced academic track. 😁 Absolutely. Education is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s this incredibly fatalistic and prejudiced mindset that suggests if a student didn't maintain a perfect GPA at a top-tier prep school, they’ll never make it through an elite university. Why be so definitive and judgmental when looking at kids? I’ve witnessed so many instances where students hit their stride during high school, suddenly flourishing and performing far above their previous averages. Years ago, I couldn't quite put my finger on why that happened, but it always fascinated me. Now, I realize it's just part of the journey. After all, students from average public high schools end up in medical school all the time, and honestly, even those from vocational schools can reach those heights. 👍 It happens at all sorts of prestigious universities too. People experience these phenomenal breakthroughs. That is precisely why we should be much more cautious about labeling children as early as elementary school.

Benjamin Johnson7 said:In education, much like any other profession, you encounter those who truly love their work and pour their hearts into it, and then there are those who simply show up from 8 to 3, strictly adhering to the curriculum with absolutely zero creativity.
In my view, the system itself is flawed; it places all the pressure on the children, where some will naturally excel while others struggle to stay afloat, yet teachers face no accountability for their lack of effort—there is simply nothing you can do about it. I was fortunate enough that during my children's elementary school years, they had at least three or four teachers who actively encouraged them, pushed them forward, and found ways to motivate them to reach their full potential; they were few, certainly, but they were invaluable. A High Schooler is given surveys to evaluate their teachers, but that option wasn't available back in the eighth grade.

I have friends quite similar to you, including two teachers who follow the exact same routine; they just don't bother buying extra textbooks because they borrow them from colleagues, and yes, they recycle last year's tests for exam prep. They actually prepare materials for every single test and lesson, which they diligently forward to me 🤣 though my son never bothers to look at them. I have no issue with parents raising their children according to what they deem most appropriate; that is perfectly acceptable to me. We are all different, and it is a good thing that we are, which is precisely why we are here—to exchange experiences and perspectives.

As far as I am aware, in Miami, there isn't an entrance exam for high schools, though there are specific ones for vocational paths, such as the School of Fine Arts.

I am curious, however, how many parents of those NYC high schools will REFUSE to print out last year's entrance exam tests for study prep if their child shows no interest? 😉

I know plenty of parents who take their children to Professional Career Orientation sessions for high school selection.
Well, there's a bit of everything in this world.

It’s interesting that in Los Angeles there aren't entrance exams for the major high schools. I wasn't aware of that, and I would have assumed you had them long ago. Clearly, the pressure isn't quite the same as it is in Chicago. Which are the most sought-after high schools in your area? I didn't take my child to career counseling, but I think it would be a great idea during high school if they were struggling to decide on a college major.

Honestly, why would I even go there, urbantinker8? I have absolutely no desire to insult you or tear you down, nor do I feel the need to label you a bad parent. Even if we had met in person, why on earth would I judge you so harshly when I don't actually know you at all? Everyone is just doing their best to navigate life given the circumstances they find themselves in.

It seems that for you, healthy communication involves labeling someone’s parenting style as "insane and abnormal" while simultaneously calling the person "frustrated," all while claiming to view them as intelligent, positive, capable, and sane. 🤔 Where I come from, if you tell someone their work-life balance is "insane" and then follow it up by saying they are "screaming with frustration," you generally shouldn't expect a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. If you involve a child in that kind of dynamic, those kinds of "compliments" usually trigger a call to Child Protective Services, if not something even more serious. 😁

Let's just move past this now; as far as I'm concerned, we can move on, urbantinker8. 🕺 I'm almost waiting for someone to jump in and tell us to drop the subject, so let's just put this entire exchange aside. We have already said everything that needs to be said. There are much more pressing issues within the education system than me and my child.

Benjamin Johnson7 said:It seems they aren't just secretive, but perhaps entirely irrelevant as well; I fail to see why the government would squander such vast amounts of tax dollars on something so inconsequential.
Are these dismal results indicative of how poorly the actual instruction is being handled? One can only hope these outcomes spark some meaningful reform in our education system.
I have read your posts about admissions, and knowing several parents in my circle who feel similarly, I find your perspective quite reasonable. If a child possesses the drive and desire to excel in a specific field, it is wonderful for a parent to offer support and guidance. Without ambition, even a gifted child may simply settle into an average trajectory.
It is likely your child will head toward a Center of Excellence, where they can receive specialized development.
In many parts of the country, there are dedicated programs for such students, like the Talented and Gifted program or GATE. I am not certain if such options exist in NYC, but if not, it is a shame.

The same applies to Miami Beach Senior High School; with 72 points, there isn't a chance of getting in anywhere, not even at a vocational school like a Technical High School specializing in computer science. Is it not tragic? To show a fourteen-year-old that having four B's over five semesters essentially means they are underperforming—to the point where they are shut out of both academic and technical tracks—is disheartening. If we were in Switzerland, perhaps it would make more sense.

I don't quite grasp the distinction between a school's internal entrance exam and the results from the national standardized testing used for placement.🤔

I truly appreciate your understanding and all the support you've shown me. 🙂

I completely agree that without ambition, even a naturally gifted child can easily settle into being just average. On the flip side, so many bright kids fly under the radar, never coming close to reaching their true potential for all sorts of reasons. In a crowded public school system, they often get lost in the shuffle, or perhaps at home, parents are simply too overwhelmed by the grind of daily life and shift work to provide that extra layer of guidance. When I suggest that there is always room for growth—that any child could climb a few more rungs on the ladder with the right support—people immediately jump to criticisms about overbearing parenting or mental health concerns. Yet, we shouldn't overlook the impact of educators; a single teacher who truly believes in a student can be the catalyst that helps them flourish both academically and personally, much like the encouragement found within a supportive family. Personally, I find it quite surprising when people argue against higher education or claim that formal schooling isn't necessary, but I suppose everyone has their own perspective.

When it comes to the SAT, everything feels incredibly disorganized and lacks any real sense of direction or purpose, all while being shrouded in this strange, conspiratorial atmosphere. Professors are expressing frustration because students aren't taking the tests seriously, largely because the scores don't actually impact their overall GPA, making the whole ordeal feel trivial to them. It honestly seems like a massive waste of resources. Even the instructors aren't compensated for proctoring since it isn't considered part of their standard contract, and they’re even losing regular teaching hours to make it happen. In my view, there should have been much more foresight involved; after all, both teachers and students know four years in advance that their knowledge will eventually be evaluated this way. I can see the inherent logic and potential behind these exams, but the execution needs to be far more meticulously planned than what we witnessed this year.

Benjamin Johnson7 said:It seems they aren't just secretive, but perhaps entirely irrelevant as well; I fail to see why the government would squander such vast amounts of tax dollars on something so inconsequential.
Are these dismal results indicative of how poorly the actual instruction is being handled? One can only hope these outcomes spark some meaningful reform in our education system.
I have read your posts about admissions, and knowing several parents in my circle who feel similarly, I find your perspective quite reasonable. If a child possesses the drive and desire to excel in a specific field, it is wonderful for a parent to offer support and guidance. Without ambition, even a gifted child may simply settle into an average trajectory.
It is likely your child will head toward a Center of Excellence, where they can receive specialized development.
In many parts of the country, there are dedicated programs for such students, like the Talented and Gifted program or GATE. I am not certain if such options exist in NYC, but if not, it is a shame.

The same applies to Miami Beach Senior High School; with 72 points, there isn't a chance of getting in anywhere, not even at a vocational school like a Technical High School specializing in computer science. Is it not tragic? To show a fourteen-year-old that having four B's over five semesters essentially means they are underperforming—to the point where they are shut out of both academic and technical tracks—is disheartening. If we were in Switzerland, perhaps it would make more sense.

I don't quite grasp the distinction between a school's internal entrance exam and the results from the national standardized testing used for placement.🤔

The entrance exams are actually determined by specific schools or certain school districts, which means they might all have identical tests; they design their own assessments based on what they deem relevant for admissions, assigning their own weight to the results. Recently in Washington, D.C., they implemented a unified exam for about ten of those highly competitive high schools where the pressure is most intense, primarily because, from what I’ve read here on the Forum, students used to struggle with having to cram for one or two different entrance exams in just a day or two. On the other hand, you have the SAT, which is standardized nationwide and administered to everyone at the end of 8th grade and 12th grade. You can think of the SAT as being similar to a high school senior's graduation requirements, whereas an entrance exam for a place like MIT would be more comparable to the specialized medical school entrance exams. The SAT scores don't actually impact admissions or carry any weight in that sense; as you suggested, it feels like a bit of a waste of time, and the results aren't even recorded in your official academic transcript for the time being. At least, that is my understanding of what you were asking. 🙂

Are there any high school entrance exams being held in Miami?

I haven't let this get to me, as I remain quite calm and positive, making sure to read your words carefully before offering my own measured responses. I haven't said anything to offend you, yet in less than two pages, you have gone so far as to label my lifestyle and career as "abnormal" and "insane," while claiming that I am "frustrated."

urbantinker8 said:You're misinterpreting my posts. I try to be very clear about what I think, so there really shouldn't be any need for reading between the lines or intentional misinterpretations, let alone attributing things to me that were never written.
I'm not getting worked up over anyone because I'm fairly confident in myself and how I'm raising my kid, so it doesn't really occur to me to compare myself to anyone, especially here on Reddit with anonymous users I know nothing about beyond what they choose to type.
I didn't say any of the things you're caricaturing. What I actually think is that you might be overdoing it with this whole academic project, giving the impression that your entire lives revolve around school assignments and tasks for "those who want to know more." Maybe I did misread your posts, I don't know.
But this whole thing about buying extra textbooks just so a child can be prepared for three state-level competitions seems pretty wild to me.

However, it seems you just can't help but take a jab at someone, can you? You were actually starting to sound somewhat conciliatory and less judgmental for a moment, I might say. But then you felt the need to pivot toward the end of your post to once again condescend to, judge, or insult your interlocutor. You tried so hard to ensure I wouldn't call you out for constantly patronizing anonymous users with negative biases, mocking them or treating them as inferior parents based solely on a few short comments. Yet, those last couple of sentences bring us right back to you lecturing from a position of perceived moral superiority.

Is my parenting "absurd" simply because I buy extra books and enjoy studying with my child? And what happens now? 🤔 Do you honestly expect me to change my approach because of your opinion? It hardly matters when every single teacher whose subject my child competes in suggests exactly this—that without using various publishers' materials, a student cannot achieve serious success.

-----> If someone came to me and said, they love working with their child, they spend quality time learning together, they engage in meaningful discussions about book content, encourage critical thinking, connect lessons to previous concepts, apply real-world examples, and print helpful resources from the web to discuss together, I would say that sounds absolutely wonderful! Truly impressive! I would genuinely welcome hearing about such experiences. But you won't. Instead, you lash out and judge this kind of engagement, labeling me "absurd." I am supposedly "overstating the role of schools," despite the fact that you have no idea who I am or who my child is. You don't even know my gender, my profession, my age, my education, or where we come from. Yet, you've decided that my methods of upbringing and education are harmful to my child. "Our lives revolve around schoolwork"? 😵 😁 Goodness, where on earth do you get these dramatic conclusions? Why does my experience provoke you so much that you persistently try to discredit me as an incompetent or even dangerous parent from one post to the next? And then there are your other jabs—insinuations that a child must have behavioral issues if they take tutoring, or that a child will end up in psychiatric care or struggle to finish high school because of an "overambitious mother." 😁It seems I have become the ultimate scapegoat for every flaw within our educational system, both at the institutional level and within society as a whole. It is truly staggering how many people remain trapped by basic stereotypes and deep-seated biases, remaining incredibly quick to criticize and condemn anyone who dares to present a different perspective or a unique experience regarding their child's schooling. ☕

I am also in favor of implementing National Exams. Under our current circumstances, I honestly cannot think of any other reliable method to truly assess a child's level of knowledge. We need standardized tests across the entire United States to get an accurate picture. It remains a mystery to me why these National Exam materials are kept so secretive, to the point where even professors aren't allowed to see them; everything ought to be fully transparent and publicly accessible. Furthermore, if a specific school wants to implement stricter or higher standards alongside the national assessments, they should certainly introduce their own entrance exams. We could simply follow the model used by universities. While this might introduce additional stress and uncertainty for students and parents, it would drastically reduce the number of inflated grades and ease the pressure on certain institutions. Ultimately, parents would gain meaningful insights into teacher performance and overall school success. If children in a particular grade consistently show high proficiency in one subject but struggle significantly with another year after year, the underlying issue becomes quite easy to detect. I am confident that everyone would put in more effort if this were the case.

Another option would be to expand school capacities, though that is clearly an unrealistic expectation in today's climate. When you have an excellent school with top-tier professors, the logical step would be to increase class sizes to allow more children access to that education, rather than continuing to fund programs that no students are actually interested in attending. However, such a move would necessitate drastic changes to our educational system, and I highly doubt any administration would dare to touch the established programs and systems that have been in place for decades.

urbantinker8 said:I mean, I read your post, and honestly, it just feels like this massive wave of frustration regarding studying, school, and the whole education system, which I have absolutely no intention of getting into or debating with you.
It’s just that I don't really see eye to eye with your whole modus operandi—you know, the whole thing about paying for extra tutoring for your kid, constant mentoring, coaching, chasing after the most elite private schools, hunting for that perfect GPA, and all that jazz.
Besides, I'm pretty sure you only have one child, because I can't imagine a parent staying this hyper-focused on the "school project" unless they're dealing with just one student. There’s just no way someone could tutor two or more kids this way, especially if they don't even have similar abilities or interests, heaven forbid.

But hey, go ahead and do whatever you think is best, obviously.
And I guess I'll just keep thinking whatever I want about it, too.

Of course, please feel free to think and write whatever you wish; that is precisely what Reddit is here for. My only request is that you refrain from twisting my words here just to validate your own perspective. You seem unable to move past constantly bringing up "chasing the GPA" or "aiming for top-tier schools." Honestly, it is quite a stretch to try and attribute motives to me that aren't there or to label me as a worse mother than you are. You truly are relentless with that. You are entitled to your opinion, and I actually enjoy reading different viewpoints, including yours. I know nothing about you or your child, and since I don't know anyone on this site in real life, I wouldn't dream of predicting a child's future or judging your parenting style or educational methods—whether through Reddit posts or otherwise. I believe most parents simply do what they feel is best given their current circumstances. But yes, it is your democratic right to mock them if you choose.

Some people tend to read a couple of posts from a parent over a two-day period and immediately jump to conclusions, declaring them unstable, frustrated, or overly ambitious, claiming they are mentally destroying their child or abusing them with textbooks, or diagnosing them with OCD and predicting the child will end up in rehab or worse. Oh, please. Give me a break.😁

I think I will go read some other threads; there are plenty of much more useful discussions happening regarding high schools and education than these attempts to label me as a villainous mother who is ruining her child with extra lessons.☕ 😁

urbantinker8 said:Bravo!🙏
I honestly find it hard to believe that sitting at home helping a first grader through various workbooks, or paying for tutors just to secure an A, is considered normal—or even desirable, for that matter. 🤦
No, I’m not making fun of the kids; I never have, and I never will.
I'm making fun of the parents.🙂

But why do you feel the need to mock anyone at all, urbantinker8?

You are undoubtedly an elementary school teacher. I don't know what your attitude is toward the students and parents in your own school—whether you mock the parents you teach or perhaps even look down on them—but based on what I am reading here, I would not want my child taught by someone who thinks like you, someone who views children through such an "elitist" lens and ridicules their parents. You are being intentionally selective about what I wrote and reducing my experience to something trivial. You are constructing your own version of the "truth" and slapping labels on me. I have told you several times that I am not working with my child just for an A. That probably fits into your "offended professor narrative" since I dared to offer a few critiques. We are studying exclusively so the child becomes more educated, while also compensating for the objective shortcomings present in the school system. I also mentioned that the issues arise during subject-specific instruction starting in fifth grade. And it isn't across all subjects; in fact, it's only a few controversial ones. I have also stated multiple times that my view is if you actually possess the knowledge, getting As comes easily.

Are all parents incapable and aggressive? Are all moms just like Milanović? Does the vast majority of parents fail to recognize or respect their children's unique affinities and talents, or are they mostly just projecting their own complexes and unfulfilled ambitions onto their kids? Who, exactly, are parents to judge the quality of education? Where do they get the right to do so when they are so limited; parents have no clue how the educational system works! Only those of us within the system can truly understand. Most children today are under-capacitated and incapable—they just stare at their phones, they lack socialization, they aren't active in sports, they are disheveled, and they aren't even capable of reading, let alone learning. They aren't even close to where you were, for instance, during your own elementary and high school years, because who was helping you back then? And yet, look at how successful you are now, right? Do all children just want to cheat and get As without effort, caring nothing for actual knowledge? What else can one expect from children when their parents are so intellectually limited? And finally, is it true that only the exceptionally successful and independent children in elementary school are destined for success? 🤦

The path of education is a long one.

Elementary school provides the foundation for life; if you skip that step, the journey becomes significantly more difficult. I do not believe that things cannot be made up—quite the contrary! One can definitely make up for weak knowledge from elementary school later on. I never look at life with the kind of fatalism found among some users here on Reddit. I would certainly never dare to throw out blanket statements like, "these kids are write-offs," "these kids didn't deserve better," "these kids have no business being in prep schools, so whatever," or "these kids will never finish college, how dare they think otherwise!" N-e-v-e-r. I have seen many instances of transformations where those who were deemed "write-offs" in one environment—marginalized or labeled in their classrooms, victims of teacher intolerance or peer bullying, declared unintelligent or doomed to failure—found themselves in a different, positive, and high-quality educational setting where they simply blossomed in every sense, especially academically. Sometimes, all it takes is one wonderful and professional teacher to change a child's entire life path!

Finally, dear urbantinker8, we have to remember that children have been receiving private instruction for centuries, as the whole concept of a tutor actually dates all the way back to ancient times. It is quite fascinating how education began with individual, one-on-one learning long before it ever shifted toward large institutions. Homeschooling has been perfectly legal in many states for a very long time. (I can already see you trying to imply that I am advocating for homeschooling so I can just stay home with my child—and perhaps disappear from Reddit entirely, if that's what you're thinking. 😁 ) If you were to start reading about something like the hagwon system, I suspect there isn't a single social media platform out there capable of expressing the level of shock and disbelief you would show, likely leading you to declare the entire South Korean population to be completely irrational. 😁 Not to mention the massive revolution that both public and private education underwent thanks to our digital age; it was a truly radical and rapid transformation. However, in certain circles, it remains incredibly difficult to shift traditional mindsets because people simply cannot tolerate innovation or different ways of thinking. It is much easier for them to claim that parents are raising mentally unstable children simply because they possess their own ambitious goals. 😁 Yes, I suppose I have just experienced a sudden moment of profound revelation...

You are more than welcome to continue your mockery. ☕

Jose Wells3 said:Here’s how I always frame the argument:

If there is just one kid in a class who can actually navigate this broken system and pull top grades without private tutors, constant parental hand-holding, or any extra help—just pure independence—then the system isn't impossible. It just means some people need to actually put in the work, find better study habits, or simply accept that nothing happens without effort.

As for high school? If you aren't independent, you're headed straight for disaster.

But fine, I'll admit it: those were the clients who kept me in business. Once moms realized they could just pay for a tutor to fix their kid's grades, the money started flowing. By Friday, I was usually tipsy and high on their dime. Honestly, I treated myself to plenty of luxuries back then because money was tight. Let them think what they want.

Does that sound condescending? I couldn't care less if it does; it’s just the truth. Real intelligence is about being resourceful when things get messy. Any smart kid spends the first month scanning the teachers, figuring out their personalities, and learning how to play the game. And if a teacher is terrible? Well, everything you need is in the textbook. If someone can't even finish high school by reading the books and managing their own learning, they have zero chance at a university. Period.

The idea of "scanning a teacher to figure out who they are" is really about having sharp perception. I wouldn't go as far as labeling kids unintelligent just because they haven't mastered reading their instructors yet or haven't developed that specific type of intuition. I don't see the point in doing that. 😕 Surely the goal is to learn, acquire knowledge, and understand the curriculum, rather than "scanning teachers" just to coast toward an A. When you focus on "scanning," aren't you just looking for the highest output—the grade—with the minimum input, relying on cleverness rather than actual knowledge? 😕 You're conflating intelligence with being well-educated.

And regarding the whole "everything is in the books" point: are we talking about standard school textbooks? Most textbooks from 2019 are absolute disasters; I've often found myself staring at a page wondering how the authors could possibly understand the subject matter when they write so incoherently. Even when I talk to teachers, they confirm this and explain exactly why the quality is so low. Not to mention how disappointing it is that students are constantly told to just look things up online. Both teachers and textbook authors push them toward the internet. The web—even random sites—is treated as a gold mine of ultimate truth. Wikipedia becomes the beginning and end of all research. You actually need highly developed research skills and foreign language proficiency because, in the US, much of the high-quality material isn't available in plain English or local contexts, requiring you to filter through sources to find what's actually good. Finding and selecting the right, high-quality sources is a massive challenge for adults, let alone children. And besides, premium educational websites and databases aren't exactly free.

Your post comes across as quite arrogant, almost dismissive.

While "finding better study strategies" sounds like a fine sentiment, and I agree with it, I wouldn't write off a child just because they haven't naturally developed the ability to find those strategies or overcome their weaknesses yet. I wouldn't predict a dark academic future for them right out of the gate.

redridge13 said:I’m seeing all these kids paying for private tutors just to scrape by, and honestly, it feels like they're just buying their way through. It's one thing if you're struggling to hit a passing grade, but if someone already has a B and they're paying extra just to squeeze out an A? That's just ridiculous. 🤷
Is this whole mess driven by overbearing parents—like my nephew who somehow pulls a 4.0 GPA despite barely trying—or is it just this broken, nightmare enrollment system we have? Or maybe it's a toxic mix of both. 🤷

*Look, I’m generally against the whole tutoring craze. I truly believe the curriculum in elementary school is designed for their age group, and kids should be able to grasp it on their own. If they can manage a C, then a C is what they get.
I don't even know when this tutoring obsession started. Back when I was in school, nobody was paying for extra help in middle school, high school, or heaven forbid, college (though I hear even professors are getting paid for private sessions these days). If you can't handle the workload of a specific high school or university, maybe that's just not the right place for you.

It seems we are on opposite sides of this issue. Educational standards have shifted, competition has intensified, the job market has become cutthroat, and people have become much more sensitive about education, recognizing its value in boosting personal quality, competitiveness, and self-confidence. People want to be recognized as successful, high-quality professionals, and they want to secure the best possible material existence for themselves and their children. They try to give their kids the strongest possible head start in life. A top-tier education is certainly a prerequisite for that, though obviously not the only one.

True, tutoring wasn't a thing in my day either; back then, it was strictly for kids failing classes or those who were truly struggling. I would say the attitude toward tutoring has changed significantly over the last decade, or even earlier if you look at the trends in Washington, D.C. I first heard about high-achieving students heading to tutors as a trend through family and friends. Later, it spread everywhere, though that's just my experience and not a formal study. Unfortunately, it's terrible that a portion of children will be left without this extra support simply because their families can't afford it. Our reality is that you can't always rely solely on the public school system, because in certain schools there are serious issues with certain subjects. So, I'd say the days of tutoring just to pass are long gone; ambitions for both children and parents have grown, with the goal being for kids to know more and do better, or to make up for what wasn't covered well in class. Ultimately, if your child achieves high success independently, is organized, and works hard, learning from their own mistakes, why wouldn't you as a parent want to further motivate and empower an already advanced child? Why are you so certain that the school they attend is sufficient for them to reach their full potential? I always believe there is room for growth. I hope my question doesn't come across as judging you as a parent, in the same way you judged me. 😁
So, I would say your perspective is somewhat anachronistic for today's world, or perhaps you're just lagging behind modern trends. Tutoring provides individuality, tailoring lessons to a child's specific needs, strengths, weaknesses, and ambitions; it builds upon existing knowledge and empowers the student. The only real problem is that it remains inaccessible to many because it's too expensive. Finally, your line of thinking—that "if you can't handle the curriculum, maybe it's not the right school for you"—is quite rigid and, frankly, demotivating. I think we should look more closely at what the actual problem is and see if it can be solved, addressing a weakness that might only be temporary, rather than immediately deciding "you don't belong here." Again, I believe in the power of education and hard work for every single child.

redridge13 said:Regarding this one:
Look, let me cut to the chase before I ramble on too long—our kid’s success isn't actually thanks to the school system, and honestly, that’s the real issue here. It’s mostly down to the hours I spend working with them and all the private tutoring sessions I feel are absolutely essential.
Why bother with tutors if the school was doing its job?

In my book, "lifelong learning" definitely doesn't mean "sitting at the kitchen table with Mom from first grade all the way through college." It’s pretty obvious we all have wildly different takes on what education looks like and how much parents should be stepping in to carry the load🙂.

Good luck to you too!

It’s always fascinating reading how parents view grades and academic achievement... it makes me wonder, were your parents actually this hands-on when you were growing up?

It seems you’re still clinging to a rather outdated way of looking at things. To suggest that you have been learning from your mother since the first grade feels unnecessarily condescending, especially when you refuse to stop insulting other parents and their children even after being called out on it. You seem unable to accept that every family has its own unique approach to raising and educating their kids, choosing instead to pass judgment on everyone else. Honestly, whenever an argument about education begins with someone saying, "Well, back when I was growing up," I find myself losing interest in the conversation entirely.

redridge13 said:@Dennis Alvarez2

Look, this isn't about that "lifelong learning" thing you’re obsessed with—which, by the way, I don't even think you actually read anywhere? I'm not on board with that concept either.
My whole vibe is just letting my kid focus on school without breathing down their neck. I'm not trying to force my own old ambitions or my specific ideas about what high school should look like onto them. That's not how I roll.

I mean, seriously? Sitting down with a seventh grader for extra tutoring just so they can snag an A+? Honestly, I don't know. To me, that feels like way too much pressure.

And where exactly did you get the notion that my child wouldn't achieve top marks even without my direct intervention? 😁

When we speak of "lifelong learning," we mean a continuous journey of growth that spans from early childhood through retirement; it involves traditional schooling, certainly, but it also extends beyond the standard classroom to include self-study, collaborative learning, and the constant exchange of skills and experiences, all designed to bolster one's education, core competencies, confidence, and overall presence in the world.

That being said, you clearly hold some pretty strong stereotypes regarding both me and my child—suggesting that her success is somehow dependent on my involvement, or implying she wouldn't even pass without paid tutoring—while simultaneously judging my parenting style as being overly ambitious. I have to admit, though, that your critique of my methods was a bit more restrained this time around, and your indignation toward my perspective seems to have lost its edge. Time and future discussions will ultimately reveal whether my intuition on this matter holds true. 👍 😁

In any case, I truly wish for you and your child to continue on this successful academic path, and I offer my full support in seeing your current progress carry forward into the future. 🙂

redridge13 said:My fear is that after all this heavy lifting you're doing, they won't magically become independent learners or decisive adults just because they stepped into a high school hallway. 🤷
Only time will tell, but honestly? I think by hovering this much, you might actually be doing them a massive disservice.

My kid is the same age, and as parents, we barely lift a finger regarding school stuff (aside from the logistics—driving them around, ordering supplies, etc.). We don't hunt down extra materials, we don't collect workbooks, we don't print out practice tests, and we don't obsessively track the curriculum... (I have a surface-level idea of what subjects they're covering, but that's about it).
School is the kid's job. Deciding which extracurriculars to do, picking which competitions to enter, and deciding how much effort to put into studying—that should be on them.

If you want to build actual study habits, you have to start working on it in the lower grades.
From 5th grade onward, in my opinion, you need to let them manage their own study schedules. They need to learn how to gauge how much intensity and time a project requires, how to prioritize, and most importantly, they need to learn how to fail, fix it, and move on.
That's how you build true confidence and security. I really think that through parental drilling and crushing expectations, you usually end up getting the exact opposite.

I would never say something like that to you, nor to anyone else. I don't know you or your child, and I certainly wouldn't dream of predicting a dark future for someone else's kid in such a threatening way. Telling someone "not to worry" while essentially foretelling failure for their child feels quite distasteful to me.🤦 The educational journey is long and full of hurdles.

I was raised to believe that extra studying and acquiring new skills always pays off. I personally subscribe to the philosophy of lifelong learning, so I have to admit that seeing someone argue the opposite leaves me a bit unsettled, even if you are entitled to your opinion. Generalizations, stereotypes, and biases are unfortunately part of how many people process things. To be honest, it would surprise me if people who make judgments like yours actually wanted to encourage parents who go the extra mile for their children's education. In my experience, most parents try to support their kids and empower them to succeed academically. I genuinely congratulate you on having such a successful, independent child; it's wonderful to hear that you're happy with their progress. I am equally proud of my own child, so thank you for asking. Best of luck to you both, and I hope high school goes just as smoothly for your child as everything else has!🙂

To wrap up, I find it quite surprising how some people can be so mocking, or even openly malicious, in their comments toward children they don't even know—sometimes even judging entire generations. It's one thing to tease a parent, but looking down on another person's child or almost finding joy in their potential struggles and failures is simply sad.

rowdypanther12 said:In Small Town, USA, kids from all over the county get driven around; it was the same way back in the eighties, and honestly, not much has changed since then.

They’re teaching French, Latin, and even Greek in middle school. 🤦 I was just looking over their annual curriculum, and it’s quite extensive; they have both French and English for all eight grades, with three hours of Latin weekly from fifth through eighth, and three hours of Greek specifically for seventh and eighth graders. 😲 It seems they also dedicate two hours a week to French and English during the first four grades, which then bumps up to three hours for the final four. It’s certainly an ambitious schedule. I am a bit puzzled by how they list both languages for every grade while still offering French as an elective, especially since German is only available as an elective.

It is quite interesting to note that the enrollment numbers for seventh and eighth grade are significantly higher than what we saw in previous generations. One has to wonder if families are actually transferring their children from other local schools into this one once they hit seventh grade.

redridge13 said:Miley Cyrus, no offense intended, but all this stuff you’re saying about hovering over your kid, buying textbooks from every publisher under the sun... don't you think you're taking it a bit too far?

My kid is basically at the end of middle school, and honestly, they handle their own business—schoolwork, homework, juggling extracurriculars, managing their own schedule, the whole nine yards.
We don't micromanage; we just step in if they actually ask for a hand.

For a kid who isn't struggling with any developmental issues, this level of intense supervision plus extra tutoring during middle school feels like total overkill to me.
How much longer are you planning to babysit their education? (I noticed you mentioned you guys have been going hard since 5th grade). Middle school, high school, college... where does it end?

If you want to succeed at state-level competitions, you really do need to have access to textbooks from various publishers, because it is quite difficult to achieve a strong result at that level without consulting multiple resources, which is why we buy additional books. We aren't buying them for every single subject, obviously, but rather for the ones involved in competitions or the subjects that are particularly tough or rely on subpar textbooks. I believe the natural boundary will be the transition to high school, as my goal is to ensure my child is completely prepared for that next step, fostering a genuine love for learning and establishing solid study habits. In 7th grade, my child doesn't spend more than an hour or two a day on homework, though I am not entirely sure if that is considered much or just average; there are also many days in a row where they literally do nothing after school, during those quiet periods before a storm of tests and presentations arrives. They also have practice three or four times a week, and they are out with friends every Friday and Saturday from 5:00 to 9:00 PM. The battles with the phone and the laptop are constant. So, I don't truly believe I am overreaching, although I do dedicate a realistically above-average amount of time to thinking about and planning my child's education. I want them to feel empowered and confident, especially since everyone says high school is brutal and kids often fall apart in those elite math-focused academies; I am simply trying to preempt those struggles as best I can. I personally enjoy reading and learning, and I am a firm believer in the power of education. Perhaps my way of thinking is unconventional when it comes to parenting, but I am simply sharing my views and experiences just as others here do. 🙂 I am certainly not surprised by how others feel, as everyone knows what is best for their own child, and I respect that completely.

wanderingbadger77: I’m sorry, but I’m not entirely sure I followed your point. I have been explaining for several pages now that I’ve identified some significant gaps in our local school's curriculum and have been systematically making up for them at home, yet you seem to be suggesting that certain academic deficits are simply too difficult to overcome.🤦 Furthermore, we are discussing the specific metrics used to gauge a school's quality and success regarding high school admissions and, eventually, college applications.

Fruity: My child is among the top two students in their class based on grades. We don't focus on chasing marks; we prioritize deep understanding and building a solid foundation, which allows those A's to follow naturally. Of course, I don't judge my child's success solely by their classroom performance or their local school, as I fully recognize the necessity of comparing results on a regional or even national level. They participate in competitions and consistently rank at the top within our county. They haven't reached the state level quite yet, mostly because they haven't developed the capacity or found the time amidst other commitments, though perhaps they will during high school—I am just glad they are trying. At our current school, there isn't any organized extra preparation for these competitions, even though the teachers are always happy to sign their names as "mentors." When they aren't competing in a specific subject, I focus on the core subjects and print out past exams from school or county competitions that align with what they are currently studying. Having those answer keys is incredibly helpful. 😁 I simply leave the test on the table and say, "Good luck, go ahead and solve this." 😁 It is certainly true that in a more prestigious or higher-quality school, my child would likely be even more successful, and I would have much less work to do filling in the blanks where the curriculum was lacking, rushed, or poorly explained. As for the STEM Academy? Yes, that is actually the child's choice since physics and math are their favorite subjects, so we are fully supportive. What defines a good school? In short, it is an institution where the teachers perform their duties with genuine quality and motivation, where you can feel their passion for their subjects and their desire to inspire students. It is a place where educators celebrate or at least acknowledge student progress regardless of their level, treating everyone with respect rather than frustration or condescension. It is a school where authority is built on expertise and competence, and where teachers possess a healthy sense of self-confidence and stability. Such places certainly exist.

Please try not to underestimate me quite so readily, especially since I included a disclaimer twice during our conversation, urbantinker8, noting that one must always take a child's specific abilities, talents, and inclinations into account. It felt almost as if I had anticipated this exact question would come from you. For the third time, of course, those individual traits matter.

Our child will be attending a specialized math high school, and I am truly delighted about that decision. Even if they manage to pass through with a 4.0 GPA, they will undoubtedly gain more knowledge and perform much better on their final exams than they would have at a less rigorous academy (change my mind regarding that particular point). This is certainly the case here in our city—and I am not talking about Washington, D.C., which naturally offers a much wider array of options. Most of the parents participating in this discussion seem to be based in Washington, D.C. Having looked into other non-math academies in our local area, I was actually quite shocked by how poorly the students performed on their standardized tests. Consequently, in our city, there really isn't any other choice if you want to secure the best possible education for your child. Heaven forbid they find the math curriculum too difficult; one can always transfer to a different school later, but for now, we are staying optimistic because there is no reason to believe they won't continue to succeed. Because of this, we have been preparing thoroughly since the fifth grade to ensure there are no sudden shocks or undue stress once high school begins. Middle school provides the essential foundation.

In my previous posts, I simply didn't have the technical capacity or the time to cover every possible combination of students and schools. I was speaking strictly from my own perspective as a parent of a seventh grader. To make a long story short, I realize I’ve rambled quite a bit, but the truth is that our child's success isn't actually thanks to the school, which is the real issue. Instead, it is primarily due to my own work with them and the private tutoring sessions I arrange whenever I deem them necessary. If I were to open a new debate on this thread regarding the poor quality of textbooks, I might come across as overly negative or hyper-critical. However, the reality is that I purchase books from multiple publishers because when certain concepts are poorly explained in one XX textbook, I teach my child to consult several different sources. Somewhere, there will be a clear and high-quality explanation. I devote a significant amount of time and energy to our child's education, and I am deeply invested in every detail of that process. My genuine goal is for my child to master everything required by the Department of Education curriculum for those core subjects, and I monitor that closely. Investing in my child is the single best investment I can make. I refuse to leave their education solely in the hands of a school that I am not satisfied with. Once they reach high school, I will be able to compare the knowledge they've gained from both school and home against peers coming from other institutions.

No, I had no idea how much support would be needed at home when they first started school. The bottom line is this: had I known the school was lacking, or if I had access to the ŠeR-podatak data we have today, I certainly would have enrolled them in a stronger, more serious institution. That is the whole purpose of the ŠeR.

urbantinker8 said:Miley Cyrus, I think my philosophy on parenting and education is fundamentally different from most people's, and I suppose that includes yours.
I didn't spend a single second agonizing over which elementary school to enroll the kids in because there really wasn't much of a dilemma—the closest one just happened to be "terrible." There are plenty of reasons for that, and I don't think I really need to list them all out here. I feel pretty firm on this, mostly because experience has taught me that even in the "best" private academies, you'll find your share of mediocre teachers, just as you'll find brilliant educators in schools that everyone else labels as "awful."
As for why a teacher's reputation or standardized test scores aren't my priority when picking a school?
Well, I guess it's because I know my own children better than anyone, and I truly believe that everything instilled at home from such a young age is what ultimately matters most during their schooling. Aside from certain innate predispositions, talents, or abilities—which I respect, support, and try to nurture in every way possible—things like home upbringing, a sense of responsibility, and solid work habits are absolutely crucial. It’s not about whether some teacher lectures from an ivory tower or shows up late to class. To me, those things are secondary, and honestly, they often just serve as convenient excuses for someone who doesn't like a subject, struggles with it, or is just naturally lazy.
I mean, you could have the most perfect math teacher in the country, but if you're just hopeless at math, you're still going to need a tutor if you want to pass an AP exam and get decent grades.
Similarly, you could end up with a catastrophic history teacher, but if you've been fascinated by history since you were little—if your parents read you picture books about > when you were small, or you spend your free time watching documentaries on > and reading about Greek mythology—you're obviously going to crush any national standardized test.

And regarding those affinities and talents you mentioned being so focused on—yes, I consider those to be the absolute most important thing, and I don't think there's any job market out there that will ever convince me otherwise.
Pushing someone into a field where they have zero natural inclination or ability is basically a perfect recipe for a miserable life.
Again, I'm looking at my own children and speaking exclusively about them. I know they'll find their way, even if they don't choose the most lucrative career path in the world. I didn't choose the highest-paying job myself, yet I am perfectly happy with my career and my life. If I weren't, I would have changed something a long time ago; I'm neither foolish nor lazy, nor am I lacking in initiative.
I'm content, and unfortunately, I know that's a bit of a rarity these days. 🙂

Of course! I fully expected you to say that, which is why I included a disclaimer in my previous response, noting that I wasn't suggesting we force a social butterfly into pre-med or push a math whiz into a field they hate. It seems obvious that there is no wisdom in forcing those kinds of paths. You don't need to be a psychologist or a career counselor to realize that.

It isn't that I am fixated on talents and aptitudes, rather, I am focused on School Performance Rankings. 😁 My primary metrics for evaluating a school's quality are my child's attitude, my own experiences as a parent, and the shared perspectives of other parents and teachers within our local district.

I am truly glad to hear that you feel fulfilled in your profession.👍 I feel the exact same way about mine, thanks to a blend of education, ambition, confidence, and the simple luck of being in the right place at the right time. For now, I am simply researching, reflecting, and analyzing everything regarding my child's future. 🤔

Kate Jackson4 said:At our recent parent-teacher meeting regarding high school enrollment, Shell presented us with data showing how various schools rank on standardized tests and where their graduates typically head next... 😉

We’ve been pacing around the house trying to decide on a path. He isn't interested in a traditional prep school, yet it's difficult to gauge which vocational tracks actually appeal to him. He changes his mind daily...
It's absolute chaos. 😛
I suppose something will eventually click before the deadline hits...

On another note, when are these schools actually supposed to publish their requirements? They say the deadline is the 28th, which is just lovely... 😵
I'm seeing outdated information from last year on some school websites, while others simply point to a central district portal for all updates...
They certainly aren't in any rush... ☕

You are lucky. I am fairly certain that even some of the faculty at our school aren't aware of the value these rankings provide. No one ever brought it to our attention. In fact, I believe I only first heard about these metrics here on this forum about two or three years ago.

Michelle Nelson4 said:I honestly find these theories quite amusing—it’s not really something parents are meant to grapple with. This is all about the system itself; there isn't much for a parent to grasp or conclude from this data, let alone use to make any actual decisions. We’re essentially just looking at a "veneer of statistics." 😂 Any real interpretation is left solely to those geniuses within the administration who supposedly understand these numbers and can "see beyond the data" (are they clairvoyant or something?). Meanwhile, us poor souls are left feeling completely lost when things go sideways, expected to just "empower" or "encourage" our kids—or whatever other corporate buzzwords they use to deal with the bureaucracy—even when we have the cold, hard facts right in front of us proving that neither the child nor the parent is imagining the problem.

That is precisely it. Between my own observations, keeping a close eye on how other kids in the class are faring, listening to what the other parents are saying, and looking at the official Department of Education statistics, everything becomes quite transparent. Honestly, whenever someone starts lecturing me with that classic "back in my day, nobody had to help us with homework" line, I find myself having some rather dark, internal thoughts about self-preservation. Nowadays, I try to direct that frustration elsewhere instead. 😁 I am joking, of course, but it truly never ceases to amaze me how many people attempt to oversimplify the complexities of modern education
.