Posts by dustylynx14

Look, this is perfectly normal to me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI — though I wonder who actually listens to this stuff anymore? 🤷 Nobody. They’d just call me an idiot.

Linda Ward3 said:😵

If anyone actually understands that feeling, it’s me. Tech disasters follow me everywhere. It’s almost as if I’m summoning them through some kind of quantum physics glitch. 😠
Oh, I definitely understand: D
But you really should have tried hitting refresh to get back to the previous page. Unless, of course, you were typing on your phone.🤷

No worries, I'll just follow the deleted traces of deeper meaning. :D

Actually, you seem to have the recipe right in front of you, you just won't cook it ;-) From your first comment, I gathered that you struggle to connect with people too, simply because you see they aren't being consistent or true to themselves. When you don't see any value there, there's no point in getting close.

How is it that they can't reach you? Is it that you consciously refuse them, deciding it isn't worth letting them in? Or is it truly that they lack the ability to reach you? Would you even want them to? And does the ambiguity of that question hold you back? What are the pros and cons? Have you essentially built a wall using your own psychological mechanisms? Do you actually want to tear it down? Do you even desire interaction with people like that? Because from where I'm sitting, it doesn't seem to be an issue of awareness or knowledge, but rather a matter of will. 🙂

Oh, absolutely. They want to, and sometimes they simply have to. It’s tragic when you forget who you're performing for and why you started in the first place. When the act becomes the goal itself. A rehearsed dance without any music, often looking quite ridiculous
Wearing different masks for different situations is sometimes necessary—or at least makes life easier. That’s how we're taught to be socially intelligent. The alternative I’ve been weighing is just being simple and ordinary, exactly as you are, and trying to find that same authenticity in others despite all their layers of performance.

Do you feel better wearing the mask, or when you take it off? Who are you comfortable enough to show your true self to, and in what kind of settings?

Could you elaborate on this approach you mentioned hating?:/

that "come here but stay away" thing... or that seesaw vibe... hop-skip, hop-skip... and then acting like nothing happened.

>😠>
But whatever, I think I managed to grasp the essence of it : D

Exactly, that’s the adaptation. If someone only gives you a tiny fraction of themselves, you aren't going to play the fool and dig around to see what else is there. You consume what’s offered, and it happens so fast—like a quick snack—that it's gone in a few bites. You won't even have the will to try again; you can't stay hungry for it. That's what those shallow, half-baked masks do.
Simplicity is much deeper and more satisfying, but in a world built on masks, going that route is incredibly brave. You end up looking like the odd one out—like you're "off" or just a fool :/ What I find fascinating is that even the most mindless or terrible people will get offended, thinking, "Look at this guy being too blunt." That’s the risk you’re talking about—risking being unpopular by the standards of this society's masquerade.

Then again, simplicity might also be the way to actually find people similar to yourself.🙂

Everyone else would be living in some sort of parallel universe if it weren't for the laws of physics. 😛

I couldn't hit refresh—I got kicked off the forum and realized I’d forgotten my password. Had to create a new account entirely. While I was hunting for my old post, I fat-fingered something and everything just vanished.

Actually, you’re sitting on the recipe yourself—you just refuse to cook it. ;-) From your first comment, it’s clear to me that you can't even connect with people when they lack consistency or a sense of self. When there's no substance there, there's simply no point in trying to bridge the gap.

To be honest—I’m over it. Every person I meet seems to have nothing of substance to offer. It’s always the same tired stories and the same predictable behaviors. It is rare to encounter someone truly compelling or worth the effort. Even when I do find someone interesting, they’ve usually been swallowed whole by this culture of instant gratification and mindless consumerism—to the point where the individual ceases to exist entirely. They become nothing more than a pixel. An abstraction. Just a series of synaptic connections that flicker briefly before fading into nothingness.

How exactly do you think they can't reach you? Is it a conscious choice—deciding they aren't worth the effort—or are they simply unable to get through? Would you actually want them to break through, or does this whole dilemma just leave you stuck in indecision? What are the actual pros and cons here? Have you built a psychological wall using your own mental mechanisms—if so, do you intend to tear it down? Do you even desire interaction with people like that? Because from where I'm sitting, this isn't about awareness or knowledge—it's strictly a matter of will. 🙂

To be honest—I lead a double life. There is my ordinary, everyday existence, and then there is my intellectual life. As that mundane, everyday creature, I am perfectly accepted—but the moment I start searching for any deeper meaning, I feel this sudden distance from everyone around me. An alienation from society... even from friends. I simply have no one to talk to. That's it. 🤷

Sure, they love it—and sometimes, they simply have to. It’s tragic how easily people forget who actually holds the reins. Acting—as if it were some grand performance. And why? Once acting becomes an end in itself—a rehearsed dance without any music to follow—it often turns into nothing more than a farce.

Sometimes, wearing different masks for different situations is necessary—or at least makes life easier. It’s how we're taught to behave. Socially intelligent—if you can even call it that..

Some actors—just going through the motions—follow nothing but pure automation—mere mechanics.

That isn’t social intelligence—it’s just social posturing. A total con... an art form of deception used purely to hit a target. Pfft. My mother used to tell me: Don't bother being smart—just be resourceful, kid.

Masks can be useful occasionally—for the sake of "pure diplomacy" and maintaining a bit of discretion—but wearing one constantly is just plain lying. It serves no purpose. What exactly is the goal here, hiding behind a facade all the time? You aren't some rare truffle that only a pig can sniff out. 🤷

The alternative I’m considering—and I mean this seriously—is just being an ordinary, simple person. Finding that same authenticity in others, despite all the masks they wear.

That is the only way to live, in my view. Honestly, why is it such a struggle to just be plain and straightforward? I’ll offer a literal fortune to anyone who can demonstrate true simplicity and normalcy.

Do you feel better when you're wearing a mask, or once it’s off? And specifically, who are you comfortable enough with to drop it?

Personally, I’d prefer this option. Radiohead - How

Total alien!

It's all so tedious.

Can you elaborate on this approach you claim to despise:

The "come hither but stay away" or the "stay but leave" attitude... that constant back-and-forth, like a seesaw... then acting as if nothing ever happened.

Those are ambiguous, duplicitous relationships. I have zero tolerance for ambiguity or lack of clarity; I need to know where I stand from the jump. The moment things get foggy, I lose my temper—or I simply walk away.

Exactly, that's the adaptation. If someone only gives you a tiny glimpse of themselves, you aren't going to act like a fool and keep digging to see what else is there. Whatever little bit is shared gets consumed instantly, and it’s gone in a flash. You won't even have the appetite to try again. You can't be hungry for more. That is what those shallow, ill-defined masks do.

Disgusting. Truly. I cannot fathom how people live like that. I can't. I admit it—it’s a trait that's slowly killing me.

(I run into them constantly. 🙂 Libras. Now I see you're a Libra. How does that work? I don't even believe in astrology.

On the other hand, simplicity could be a way to find people similar to oneself. 🙂

Which is exactly why I started this thread based on your post. To find something regular, something normal... before it's too late, to regain some hope that something simple actually still exists. 🤷

Linda Ward3;43040673 said:I almost lost this post myself, and you lost your deep analysis, because just as I finished writing everything, the database threw an error... and that happened a few times. 🙂

Well, go ahead then—tell me how you won't end up being a 503 or a 504 error! Come on.

Karma might be a bitch, but hope carries more weight 😛

Still—I’d argue routine is the real traitor here. I find much easier terms of engagement with hope and karma.

It's clear our communication is fraying. From last night's technological disconnect to today's total miss—all fallout from that digital mess. It leads right back to—how to disappear completely! I truly hope we don't vanish altogether.

Rachel Johnson11 said:Narcissism is all about dosage. If modern society tried to eradicate it entirely, we’d essentially be breeding a race of termites. You need a certain level of it; honestly, it's often the engine behind progress that actually benefits everyone in the long run. I'd argue that countries like Denmark or Sweden are leading the way when it comes to balancing narcissism, humility, and altruism during upbringing. Of course, hitting that perfect sweet spot is an impossible task.

What you're describing isn't narcissism. Narcissism is a disorder, plain and simple—there is no such thing as a "healthy amount." What you mean is likely self-respect or a decent dose of self-love. Narcissism is the exact opposite: pure vanity.

David Wilson11 said:If I were to start from scratch, I wouldn't even know where to begin... but let's just say right off the bat, I am so utterly disgusted by the people around me lately that I have to wonder if I’m living in some weird, tiny minority. I find myself clinging to basic human values that I just don't see—or hear—anywhere anymore. Sometimes I feel like an extinct dinosaur :-P

Morals, honesty, empathy—three things that are basically going extinct, or maybe it's just me? That's the problem eating at me: how on earth are you supposed to raise kids these days? How do you guide them toward these actual human qualities when it feels like the world is practically begging them to be the exact opposite just to survive this cold, heartless reality?
The circles I move in are pretty diverse—friends, hobbies, sports—but I honestly don't see anyone actually striving to embody those three traits. In fact, it's worse than that; I've heard people brag about having "recovered" from being such decent human beings..
Technology has really accelerated this downward spiral, pushing everyone faster toward that emptiness. Though, I guess it does give those who actually *want* to understand things a way to learn without having to ask someone else what kind of mess the world has become.
If some kind of time machine showed up right now, I’d hand over everything I own just to go back to the Stone Age. I'd run through the woods chasing bison with the primitives, even if it killed me in the process :-)

People need a good slap to knock that fairy tale out of their heads—this nonsense about uniqueness, individualism, the sanctity of the "Self," and all these various freedoms to do whatever crap they want. Today's youth are spoiled. A system of strict, military-style discipline and upbringing is far superior to this pathetic, illusory "neoliberalism"—which is really just slavery by way of a "soft" hand.

frozenbison42 said:We’ve merged several threads into one massive discussion hub where you can vent about everything you feel is broken regarding modern society, this world, modern life, the West, and all those similar concepts. Please respect the same rules that apply to the rest of the sub-forum. Thanks for understanding. 🙂

The Psychology Mod.

I’m speaking directly to those of you who either live in the West or deal with Westerners enough in your professional lives to actually have an opinion on it.

Have you noticed—like I have—that narcissism in the West has become totally commonplace? And more importantly, is it actually increasing?

With every passing generation, it seems more and more people are becoming completely swallowed by their own egos. Everyone treats their personality like a sacred relic; they view themselves as infallible, and any critique of their persona is treated as a literal desecration of their freedom.

If we set aside blaming the economic system ("capitalism") or our political structure ("modern democracy"), we’re still left with the cold reality that Americans have turned into a collection of tiny kings or even minor deities, each ruling their own little kingdom. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve realized that under these conditions, sorry, but no friendship or human connection can actually survive. Would you believe me if I told you that even parents aren't considered more sacred than "Me and My Stances" anymore? So much for the commandment "Honor thy father and mother," right?

So, how do we reverse this disgraceful downward spiral?
I’m asking you as fellow travelers—someone from Georgia, untainted by this specific brand of Western narcissism and not yet brainwashed by an American education system that insists narcissism is the engine of progress. (That whole idea is monstrously stupid, and frankly, it goes way beyond capitalist theory, which suggests that society should ideally be driven by self-interest.)

(There are plenty of people here who are convinced of this, and they aren't to blame; when faced with such a seductive argument about "freedom" and "living your truth," the human mind is often defenseless. In the end, we always end up back at the same old pattern: small-minded people are narcissists about trivialities, while the "great intellectuals"—the big thinkers—are ultra-narcissists; but narcissism itself? It's universal.)

I am glad there are still others who think this way and suffer from similar problems. I welcome the topic. 😁

Democracy is an illusion. So is the West. The sanctity of individualism is garbage.

I return to the Polish writer Witold Gombrowicz, who argues that both immersion in the collective—collectivism—and Western individualism are equally foolish illusions. He believed man should be oriented toward man; man as the measure of man, man for man, and man above man; not man for the collective (or the collective above man), nor man as a deity unto himself (Western individualism; pure nonsense). Both lead to alienation. First, through the loss of personality via drowning in the collective; second, through the separation of individuals via extreme individualism, which is essentially a trap set by "democracy"—a soft term for oligarchy and rule by elites. People! We are slaves—get it! Primarily through economic colonialism and a fraudulent credit system that easily preys on human laziness, vanity, naivety, and greed. This serves as bait to atomize the masses for easier control. It is painless indoctrination and subjugation achieved by offering the illusion of the almighty individual and false liberty. The question of all questions is: is this a systemic indoctrination—something smelling of conspiracy theory—or is it the self-generating absurdity of a system whose flywheel has spun out of control? I would say it is the former for a long time; but—it is also the latter. First, because oligarchies and ruling elites have always existed; second, because humanity today is too complex, too overcrowded, and too far beyond control to be ruled in a classical oligarchic sense. Thus, the powerful are digging their own graves, having underestimated the sheer scale of what they must govern. Therefore, we are all in the same mess. Until a better, more pacifist solution for change emerges, nothing else remains for us but...creator - (my only Hope, my only Solution is a) Violent Revolution

* there is a terrifying book on this subject—one that anyone trying to make sense of today's global landscape ought to read—A General Critique of Debt Economics: A Critique of the Rental Consciousness by Borna Bebek and Slavko Kulić. It is a grim read. I need to track it down—if not in print, then hopefully online. It is impossible to ignore.[/color]

Linda Ward3 said:Well, if you like it, then good for you : ) . Honestly, things have a way of proving that life isn't quite as scary as we think, and that Nada isn't such a terrifying figure after all.😉

I’d love for you to elaborate on how you view that alienation. How does it manifest within your own reasoning?
Do you feel like people simply can't reach you, or is it more that you feel no need to listen to them because they don't seem close to you at first glance?

We've touched on the idea of masks, but it leaves me wondering: do you wear a mask yourself to prevent people—who might be more like you than you realize—from truly seeing you?
If we go back to that first point, everyone is in their own mask, and you are in yours. You pass each other by, even though perhaps you are both searching for the exact same kind of normalcy?
If you do wear a mask, what is its purpose? What is it made of? Answer those questions for yourself, or here. Perhaps then you'll grasp the essence of that alienation.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with believing that. 🙂
I actually follow the consequences of that line of thinking myself : D

we've already figured out what kind of person Nadica is : p
i'm betting she won't let you down 😁

I’m quite an empathetic person, but even I get this. It's like all the topics have been worn thin and everyone is just stuck in their own little bubble. 🤷
You aren't interested in pretending that their focus—whoever that may be—is actually interesting, yet you don't want to pull them into your orbit either, even if you could. Your inner world seems far more compelling than whatever surface-level chatter people are throwing around.
And look, it doesn't necessarily have to be a "you" problem. Maybe social interaction itself has just become stale—all those predictable flavors and tired tropes that you're simply bored with. 🤷
Honestly, I think that's the case for most people these days. No matter where you turn, it feels that way.

P.S. You are well on your way to being fully analyzed by me 😛

Ughhhhh!!!!! I wrote a mile-long response and just as I was about to hit send, the forum kicked me out and everything was lost. You have no idea how livid I am. 🙂

Now I have to summarize. It’s a shame it vanished; I’ll end up sounding superficial.

No, I don't believe I'm unable to reach people; rather, they cannot reach me. I am not alienated—I understand people perfectly well, but it seems they don't quite understand me.

People wear masks because they enjoy playing parts. It is pure adaptation and survival; it is easier to take the path of least resistance... even if one lives a lie...
I often choose not to wear a mask, but in doing so, I risk being unpopular—and I usually am. Meanwhile, if you wear a mask of politeness, you tend to get along much better in society. Personally, I loathe that "come here but don't come here" or "come here but go away" approach... or that constant seesawing... hop-skip, hop-skip... and then acting as if nothing happened. Give me a break!

Yes, I am on that same path you mentioned. A sort of self-awareness... that is what I wanted to write to you... however, this technological piece of garbage just swallowed a perfectly good response. Now I feel like communication itself is crippled. Damn unreliable technology.

Yes, it is as if the topics have been exhausted. Everything has been seen, said, and known. And frankly, it gets on my nerves. Everything is shallow. I am not, but the people around me make me seem so. What infuriates me is this lack of weight, of value, of principles. Everything is relative. Hyper-production, instant gratification—it all grates on me. 🙂 Even this loss of my post is a lack of weight. There! See? I'm right. Blahhh!

Forgive my irritability, but technology just devoured thirty minutes of effort and a mile of text. 😁

Linda Ward3 said:I’ve been noticing this growing obsession with individualism out there in the West. Ever since the Industrial Revolution kicked in and those large, extended family networks started dissolving, we had a brief window where the traditional family unit actually held steady. But then, as everything drifted toward decadence—where tradition just gets traded in for instant gratification and fleeting moments—even the nuclear family began to fracture. You see it everywhere: skyrocketing divorce rates, kids being given way too much autonomy, the relentless creep of capitalism into every corner of our existence, and now, this technological revolution that we’re all blindly consuming without even realizing how much it's changing us. All these forces colliding have created this intense trend of turning inward on oneself, placing an almost religious faith in one's own abilities. People feel they have zero time for anything that doesn't serve their specific "hustle," living under this constant, looming threat that if you stop pedaling in this socially engineered direction, you'll be branded a failure or a nobody, totally unworthy of 😕modern life
.
It makes sense, really. When you're being squeezed by all these invisible pressures, you naturally start treating the self as the ultimate value, which leads straight into narcissism. People feel forced to perform; everything they do becomes a calculated move to polish their own image. What most people don't realize is that they are turning themselves and their very desires into something grotesque—needs that aren't even truly theirs, but were manufactured or at least heavily suggested by external forces.

Given the spirit of this era, I don't think we can really blame people for being narcissistic.

To me, this inward turn and this surge of narcissism feel more like total alienation and loss of direction. It’s as if we are intentionally being made lonely, yet massified (quite the paradox) to become easy to manipulate. This version of "individuality" is actually an incredible project for the system to achieve painless, absolute dominance over the person. A brilliant democratic maneuver to establish final totalitarian control—exactly what Orwell wrote about long ago. In short: don't use brute force, just feed them the illusion of freedom, and—voilà—you have the perfect consumer.

Linda Ward3 said:I agree with you; I was merely presenting that as a collection of ideals regarding a certain level of normality. However, please keep in mind that all that aggressive posturing, the selfishness, and the pomposity? Often, it’s just a costume. People wearing fake layers because they actually crave real, primal values—things like love and friendship.

Try approaching people simply. Be sincere, be the kind of person you wish they were, and I truly believe many of them—even those hiding behind masks and various personas—will respond from their true core. At least, that’s been my experience.🙂
Don't hold it against people, except for those outward displays. Quite often, those behaviors aren't even a choice; they are caught in the gears of complex sociological forces that dictate their pace and direction, effectively erasing who they actually are. Most people aren't even aware of it, but that doesn't mean the seed of normalcy isn't there.🙂

Personally, I've experienced times when people were being trashed—"they're like this, they're like that"—and I suspect those rumors came from people who had actually interacted with them. Yet, on the flip side, my own interaction with that very same person would be a completely different story altogether.

Just let your desire to meet a normal, down-to-earth person guide how you carry yourself. I believe if you do, someone like that will eventually drift your way.

Now, this—I actually like this. 🙂 It offers a glimmer of hope—not that everything hasn't already gone to hell—but that we might actually pull through.

I try to approach people with sincerity—treating them exactly how I’d want to be treated myself. I truly believe many will respond from their core, even those hiding behind various social masks or professional titles. At least, that's been my experience. 🙂
Don't be so quick to judge people—especially when their outward behavior isn't even a choice. Most folks just get caught in the gears of complex social structures that dictate their pace and direction—effectively stripping away their agency. It’s easy to overlook, but I've seen it myself—there is almost always a seed of normalcy buried deep within them.🙂

An interesting perspective—certainly worth considering.🙂 Yes, forgiveness is necessary—but sometimes, one simply cannot escape that sense of Camus. Foreigner. Even if the world is an alienated place—and let's face it, it is.

I have personally witnessed people being torn apart by rumors—claims about who they are or how they act—often fueled by those who actually know them. Yet, in my own experience, I have dealt with that exact same individual and had an entirely different encounter.

Honestly—as time goes on—I’m finding myself leaning more toward quantum physics. It makes sense—that reality is essentially whatever we shape it to be—and that parallel universes and a billion different outcomes for a single situation are actually out there.

Let your desire to meet a regular, everyday person be your guide—if you can manage that—and I trust it will lead you exactly where you need to go.

I remain hopeful. 🙂 And I'm just hoping—fingers crossed, really—that I manage to stay sane through all this. :P

Linda Ward3 said:I noticed you edited your post. Could you elaborate on what you mean by this cynical environment, the pile of garbage, and those negative stories?

In what way are those negative stories struggling to be original?

I couldn't tell you. It’s just that genuine conversation and actual social connection are becoming increasingly rare. 🤷 I simply find myself lacking the desire to socialize...

P.S. Are you trying to psychoanalyze me now? 😛 😁

Linda Ward3 said:That’s an interesting question—or perhaps more of a statement of fact. If I could call myself a simple, unburdened, and approachable person who remains open to the differences in others—meaning I don't judge, mock, or subject their uniqueness to some pseudo-critical evaluation based on my own personal yardstick as if it were some universal truth—then yes, that is certainly a virtue.

Reading back my own sentence now, I realize that, for instance, being concise is definitely not one of my virtues (oops, a little 😬self-deprecating
)...
But now, moving ON —to be tolerant while still maintaining your own backbone, built from a lifelong developing consciousness and an open conscience, having ideals, believing in what you do, and lacking that arrogance where you puff yourself up over those with less skill, but instead accepting them in the beauty of what they offer and finding common ground... that is what makes an ordinary person virtuous.

To me, being "ordinary" doesn't mean being a mediocre person with a foggy worldview; rather, it's a virtue that involves holding your own insights and values without imposing them on others, letting them grow through interaction and sharing them within the community.

What you call being "normal"—which you say is such a rarity in modern times—I would rephrase as being integrative. It’s difficult, though, given how much we are exposed to fleeting trends and the weakening of family cohesion, which should be the primary force providing a solid foundation for a young person's character through responsible parenting. With that foundation eroding, parents—who, even when together, are working so hard and simply don't have enough time for upbringing—leave children to grow up increasingly under the influence of things that aren't healthy or normal. We see a parallel process in adults due to this new social economy and sociology of relationships that promotes "living for the moment," where everything must be unforgettable and extraordinary right now.

Unfortunately, I don't see any real drive for integration anymore. All I see is a desperate need to impose oneself, a craving for uniqueness, pure selfishness, and sheer pretension... In this massive heap of identities, choices, genres, subcultures, and hyper-consumerism, all I find is garbage—not even a shred of authenticity. Must we really resort to caricatures and eccentricity—actually, outright nastiness—just to satisfy this obsession with individuality and being special? Honestly, I'm just looking for a simple, straightforward person to meet...🤷 But it's proving impossible. God, everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by cynicism, a mountain of crap, and these "original" negative stories that aren't even creative... Give me a break!

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that being a normal person in today's world is an incredibly rare feat. It’s a paradox—normality has become a scarce commodity, and apparently, it isn't "cool" anymore. Everyone seems obsessed with being eccentric or finding some niche subculture to cling to; they crave this hyper-individualism that usually just turns them into caricatures—mostly because they lack the depth to realize they're just swapping one shallow template or ideology for another. What’s your take? Personally, I think simply being a regular, straightforward person is enough of an exception these days. I strive for that, but whenever I deal with the people around me, I feel overwhelmed—they just refuse to acknowledge my ordinariness. What about you? Are you chasing that desperate need to be "special," even if it feels forced, or are you like me—just trying to be an ordinary person who wants nothing more than a simple life? Someone might argue: "Simplicity? You're asking for too much."