Posts by William Evans10

There is nothing more draining than watching a team blow a lead late in the game, only to watch the other side snatch it back. It really makes you wonder if momentum is actually a real thing or if it's all just psychological. Does a late-inning swing like that completely break a team's spirit for the rest of a series?

This just keeps getting bigger with 38 new charges being thrown at them. It looks like the US and UK are definitely going to be fighting over them in court soon. Do you guys think they'll actually end up being extradited to the UK?

Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cjej0j0lzkno?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss

Noah Garcia4 said:How is anyone supposed to experience genuine laughter or tears while they're navigating that cocktail of psychiatric meds? It’s a Catch-22: if you're too high, you end up on an antipsychotic, but if you're too low or completely numb, they throw an antidepressant at you. How can anyone actually track which specific medication is responsible for their emotional baseline being totally wiped out? It makes zero sense. 😕🤷☕

The truth is, she doesn't have any emotional reactions—none at all. She’s like a walking ghost. And honestly, even back before she was taking medication, or when she was tossing them aside, she was always this way. She suffers from residual schizophrenia; maybe do a quick Google search to understand what that entails.

Whether she’s taking the medication or not, this is just who she is, and I’ve finally come to terms with that. The real struggle isn't the mood swings; it's that she wants to spend twenty hours a day staring blankly at the ceiling, refusing to eat, just smoking and lying there. So, tell me, you take these medications too, right? Are you spending twenty hours a day paralyzed in bed?

I mostly just come here to vent a little, seeing as I am her primary caregiver, fighting this battle every single day without seeing any real progress. Where I get the strength to keep going, I truly don't know. It likely comes from my husband and my son. I just hope that at least here, I can find some level of empathy. My husband understands, but the people around us simply don't get it. Though, obviously, I shouldn't expect an overwhelming amount of sympathy from anyone else either...

Anyway, that's about all I have to say... best regards.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:It is quite fascinating, isn't it? In cases involving mild intellectual disabilities—or indeed any type of cognitive impairment—the standardized tests used to establish these diagnoses often fail to explain *why* a person isn't providing the expected response.
There lies a massive, insurmountable hurdle right there.
Adults living with moderate intellectual disabilities require specialized, dedicated care to ensure they can achieve a decent quality of life.
I find it somewhat unusual that they assigned that specific F-code; here in the States, we don't typically link intellectual disability directly to schizophrenia in that manner. Usually, it is associated with schizophreniform psychoses. That is the standard clinical recommendation.
F20.5 refers to residual schizophrenia.
A schizophreniform disorder is remarkably similar to schizophrenia, but the duration is shorter—lasting less than six months.
That might be the actual reason for the moderate intellectual disability diagnosis (meaning an IQ somewhere between 35 and 50).
I believe it is incredibly difficult to predict the trajectory—whether things will stabilize or slide toward a more severe impairment. I would even venture to guess that symptoms might fluctuate, appearing milder at times before potentially heading toward full remission.
Residual schizophrenia represents the chronic phase of the disease's development (think psychomotor slowing, passivity, loss of initiative, avoiding eye contact or conversation, and so on).
The answer is complex and, unfortunately, rather inconsistent. It might happen, or it might not. But more often than not... yes, it can.
Medication is absolutely critical; in most instances, it improves the symptoms or manages them entirely for a period of time.
Since she is older (I assume), she will likely be on this medication protocol for the rest of her life.

She is truly ill; her first psychiatric treatment dates back to 1989. The initial diagnosis was paranoid schizophrenia. After about a year, around 1990, it was changed to schizoaffective disorder, which remained her diagnosis until roughly six months ago, when her psychiatrist adjusted it to residual schizophrenia. Her condition took a sharp downturn about a year ago when her cycles stopped—that is, when she entered menopause. She is quiet, withdrawn, almost vacant; she doesn't really look after herself or maintain hygiene, and honestly, she doesn't seem fully aware of how serious her illness is. She doesn't cry, and she can't even laugh. I recently tried teaching her how to smile; I would give anything just to see her smile once, but she simply doesn't know how. It is hard for outsiders to grasp, but she is very sick. It is heartbreaking because I remember her being such a different person, but sadly, that person is gone. I can't even reach her anymore, despite my best efforts. I try to engage her by recounting beautiful memories from the past, but she listens and then it's as if they vanish instantly from her mind, or she just offers a hollow "uh-huh," or says she can't remember. We aren't expecting much improvement; we just hope things don't get worse. Following her hospital stay, we were advised to contact Social Services to arrange for a legal guardian, either one of us or someone appointed by the state.

My mother-in-law finally came home from the hospital today. Honestly, she looks so much better. She’s put some weight back on and actually has some color in her face again. Mentally, she seems more at ease too—not nearly as high-strung as she was before. I actually didn't know, and she wouldn't tell anyone, but based on the psychologist's findings and our recent talks, it turns out she was still dealing with constant hallucinations (even though she insisted they had stopped) along with this "phenomenon" of reading minds and intense paranoid fears. Now, she claims all of that is gone. Her medication regimen has been adjusted; she’s taking Lexapro in the morning, Seroquel at night, and then a combination of Risperdal and Ativan in the mornings and evenings. So far, it seems like this new routine is doing the trick. Along with her previous F20.5 diagnosis, they've now added F71 (moderate intellectual disability) to the chart. Is it truly possible for the illness to have subsided to the point where it causes intellectual disability? And is there any chance that things could progress toward a more severe level of impairment over time?

David Vaughn75 said:I am so, so sorry for what you and your mother-in-law are going through.

If it helps at all, just know that for about a third of patients, the first round of meds misses the mark entirely—that’s just how psychiatry works sometimes. I had a buddy back in 2006 who was hospitalized three times in a single year—he spent about 10 months total in facilities—but he eventually pulled through and is working a steady job now.

thank you sir 😢 She’s been in the hospital since Saturday... and from what I understand, they’re planning to discharge her soon once they try this new medication regimen. The thing is, she keeps insisting she feels fine and tells them she’s doing better, but she really isn't... we’re the ones who actually know her, and we can see she hasn't improved at all. She isn't heavily sedated by the meds anymore, maybe just a little bit, but we can tell she's still "not there." It’s like there's no soul left in her, nothing. She just says she wants to get home, get past this, and go back to her old ways. Plus, she’s feeling so much shame about being hospitalized—which is triggering more paranoia about what people might think of her. Honestly, I’m terrified that things will just revert to the old cycle: staying in bed, smoking, lying around, more lying around... that's it. And then she’ll spend months upon months begging them to adjust her meds again. Maybe I'm rushing to judgment, but I'm scared. I think I might need to see a psychiatrist myself.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:

William Evans10 Asks:
How is everyone doing? I truly hope you all are faring better than we are over here... we’ve certainly had a rough run lately. 👎

I am sitting here reading your post right now, and honestly, my mind is just racing with all sorts of thoughts! It’s one thing after another. Where is she currently? Which hospital is she staying in at the moment?🤷
Therapy, in general... and now that someone is actually hospitalized, the approach really ought to be—well, in my estimation, quite different. It stands to reason, doesn't it? When a patient is admitted to the hospital, the dosage or intensity of the treatment is typically ramped up. It’s a necessary phase! One must account for the body's period of adjustment and stabilization... it's all part of the process, isn't it?
Look, if you really think about it... psychology—in its broadest sense—is essentially one of those long-standing, unresolved contradictions that we just can't seem to shake. It’s such a strange beast, isn't it? It emerged directly from the roots of philosophy, yet here it is today, desperately attempting to apply scientific, empirical methods to solve what were once considered "ailments of the soul." How can one discipline bridge that gap? Is it even possible? It’s a fascinating, messy struggle between abstract thought and hard data.
And now... where has the soul gone?
Here we go again. Another endless debate. One group argues that the body is essentially "encircled by the soul," while the other insists that the soul lacks any physical nature whatsoever and simply cannot belong to a physical vessel. Is there ever an answer? Or are we just destined to circle this drain forever?😕
And then, inevitably, you encounter those third parties—those skeptics—who insist that the soul is nothing more than an evolutionary byproduct, a mere extension of cerebral processes manifesting in various biological forms. Is that really all there is to it? Just a trick played by our neurons as they dance through different stages of development? It seems such a reductive way to view the complexity of existence, doesn't it?
So, you—much like that endless parade of doctors I see on TV—are suddenly acting as if you possess all the answers. Are we meant to just sit back and nod along now? Truly, do you expect us to follow your lead without question?
Oh, I just saw that on Ribbon. My mistake. Truly, my deepest apologies.
Right now, things are actually at their best for her—and honestly, it’s the only viable solution she has left. Everything there is under strict control. You see, even the slightest shift, any tiny change whatsoever, manifests itself in all sorts of ways, and the medical staff? Well, despite what some people might think, they absolutely see it. They notice everything.
It will simply take some time—quite a bit of time, actually—to arrive at a truly precise diagnosis. We have to observe her specific behaviors and monitor how she responds to the medication, that "echo" effect if you will, before we can know for sure. How else could we possibly reach a definitive conclusion? One cannot rush the process of understanding such complexities.
Will medication therapy be significantly more effective once the patient reaches a point where they can communicate somewhat normally? Is that not the case? It seems essential that they first achieve that level of stability before we even consider transitioning into other therapeutic modalities—you know, things like individual counseling, group sessions, or perhaps occupational and rehabilitative therapies. One cannot simply rush the process, can one? We must wait until they are truly ready for those next steps.
Please, have some patience. This isn't her first time dealing with this, and it’s certainly not because she’s been struck by some strange, extraterrestrial virus. No, it's much more grounded than that. One needs strength, a fierce will, steady nerves, and—most importantly—hope. Psychosis can be an incredibly difficult thing to diagnose accurately sometimes, can't it? But when it is caught, and managed with enough diligence, it can be kept under control quite successfully.
Just a little more time, and everything will somehow become acceptable to everyone. Isn't that just the way it goes? We wait, we hope, and eventually, the world settles into its own version of "fine." It’s all just a matter of patience, really.
The hallucinations... they constructed an entire reality for her, you see? A complete fabrication! And while she did manage to claw her way back out of that fog relatively quickly—thanks to the medication, naturally—she was left staring into this profound, hollow emptiness. It’s quite unsettling, isn't it? To emerge from such a distorted world only to find yourself adrift in a void, utterly uncertain of where you are or even why you exist in the first place.
Is it even possible to imagine a time when we couldn't find a remedy for this? Honestly, everything... absolutely everything... is treatable these days. Isn't that just incredible? We live in an era where medical science seems to have an answer for every ailment. It really makes you wonder, doesn't it? Where does it end?😉

Thank you for such an exhaustive response. Honestly, I'm losing faith in our doctors; they all act like they couldn't care less. I might have to reach out to the ACLU. My contact there is employed, but she's been on long-term leave. Now that she's getting out of the hospital, they intend for her to stay on short-term leave for a bit before heading back to work. But she has been doing terribly for the last year; things have deteriorated drastically. Her workplace doesn't want her back. I truly hope this therapy works, because we are all on our knees here. I don't understand how they can find it acceptable that she lies there twenty hours a day just staring at a single spot, smoking incessantly in the meantime. She won't leave the house, won't talk to anyone, refuses all contact, won't eat, and won't take care of herself. When I try to get her to shower, eat, or go to church, it just puts pressure on her, and she becomes aggressive. I tell them all of this, but it feels like no one is listening.

How is everyone doing? I truly hope you all are faring better than we are right now. 👎
Some of you might be familiar with our current situation, while others might not be quite as aware.
To put it bluntly, we are all completely broken. My mother-in-law’s condition has taken a devastating turn; she is suffering from residual schizophrenia. After months of battling doctors, navigating the hospital system, and struggling alongside her, we have reached a breaking point. This past Saturday, she was finally hospitalized at Mayo Clinic, specifically in the emergency psychiatric ward. These last few months have been nothing short of a nightmare for our entire family. The medication she was on wasn't helping her one bit. She was taking 100 mg of Faverin at night, 10 mg of Olanzapine at night, 10 mg of Risperdal at night, and then another half of a 10 mg Risperdal tablet in the morning. While the hallucinations had subsided, she was still in a terrible state. She would just smoke and lie there. She refused to eat or engage in any activity whatsoever. She has wasted away physically. Mentally, she has deteriorated so much that she barely speaks; she can't even bring herself to laugh anymore, and she rarely even cries. Despite our endless pleas and constant running around trying to get her doctor to adjust her treatment, we haven't felt heard even five percent of the time. She also underwent psychological testing which revealed extremely high levels of psychotic ideation... and so on. To make a long story short, the results were dire. We met with her psychiatrist, who was supposed to call us once a room became available, but unfortunately, nothing happened. He hasn't called in over a month, despite our agreement that he would reach out within seven to ten days. We even showed up at the hospital with a referral from her primary care physician, and they wouldn't even admit her. Since I am not currently working, I have been staying home to care for her. She looked so frighteningly unwell that my son was actually scared of her and would run away. I have poured everything I have—every ounce of strength—into trying to help her improve, but it simply wasn't working. I have been pushed to the very edge of a nervous breakdown. And after everything, it culminated this past Saturday when she nearly jumped from the balcony because she just cannot endure living like this anymore. She is just existing, not living. I feel such profound sadness and bitterness because absolutely no one in the medical profession responded to our requests or acknowledged how much she is suffering and how bad her mental state has become. She was taking her medication religiously right before my eyes, yet there was zero progress. I didn't expect an overnight miracle, but does a person really have to wait six or seven months until they reach a point where they simply cannot go on? For the last few days, she had been calm—she wasn't being aggressive—but apparently, people have to become violent or threaten those around them just to get the help they need. She was a walking ghost, unable to help herself, and we couldn't help her either... because we aren't doctors. I tried talking to her, I fought for her, but it was futile. Now, she is in the hospital, and they started her on a new medication regimen yesterday. I haven't even gone to see her because I simply cannot handle it mentally. She looks awful; she doesn't talk, and she is almost completely immobile, unable to even get out of bed. My husband... it has hit him incredibly hard. I apologize for such a long, rambling post... but I truly don't know who else to turn to for support, as no one besides my husband understands what we are going through. 😢

As some of you might already be aware, my mother-in-law is struggling with residual schizophrenia (F20.5).

Things have taken a turn for the worse over these last few months. We have tried everything in our power, but nothing seems to be working.
She has become incredibly withdrawn; she really only speaks if we actively prompt her to. She’s completely socially isolated now. All she wants to do is lie around and smoke. She is unable to work, and frankly, she can't even manage basic personal hygiene on her own anymore. Her eating habits are erratic—she doesn't even chew properly, which led to a terrifying moment where she nearly choked. Her concentration is almost non-existent. This decline has been quite drastic over the past year...

So, I suppose I should get to the core of why I am posting here, as I am truly in need of some perspective or advice...
We went ahead with a psychological evaluation, but unfortunately, her psychiatrist is out on medical leave for another two weeks, and the situation has become quite critical.

The psychological report states the following:
"TEST RESULTS indicate borderline cognitive and mnemonic functioning in the subject.
On perceptual testing, there is noticeable impairment in fine psychomotor skills, characterized by pronounced tremors and perseveration. Such effects confirm organic changes. Visual memory is diminished, as is overall intellectual efficiency. Crucially, there is a significant reduction in the capacity for concentration, attention, and mental flexibility. Thought processes occur primarily at a concrete level.
Personality questionnaires reveal numerous responses indicating psychoneurotic disturbances, particularly hypersensitive and depressive traits. There is a very high degree of psychotic tendencies present, with more pronounced paranoid features.

Now, the issue is that her psychiatrist is currently on leave. The local hospital has recommended and provided a referral for an emergency inpatient admission. She is strictly adherent to her medication regimen under my direct supervision (taking 100 mg of Faverin once nightly and 10 mg of Olandix once nightly), yet despite this treatment, all of these symptoms persist.

I feel so heavy-hearted.😢

Greetings, everyone... a bit late to the party here, but I wanted to wish a happy Easter to all my fellow Catholics out there. 🙂 How is everyone doing? Has this gloomy weather been getting to you at all?
As for me, I’m feeling completely stuck... everything just feels sort of pointless lately..

Kimberly Cook5 said:I don't bother with horror movies anymore, nor do I waste my time reading any of those mindless books—instead, I just find some movie of my own to put on. Before everything went downhill with this illness, I actually used to enjoy all that stuff...

Ahh... well, to be perfectly honest with you, I haven't sat through one in quite a while either... But you know, looking at things now, I feel like I could actually handle one. Honestly, I truly enjoy that feeling when I get scared... what else is there? 🙂

Harold Anderson3 said:I'd really like to take a moment to clarify things from my own point of view.
There is a massive difference between knowing something intellectually and actually feeling it in your gut. You can use logic to fight against what you "know," but when it comes to what you truly feel, there isn't much of a defense.
After my worst psychotic episode, I ended up spending six months in a psychiatric facility. Things started looking up slowly, but even after I was discharged, I couldn't quite shake this lingering sensation that someone was watching me—as if people back in my hometown "knew" I had some sort of connection to Ivo Sanders’s resignation, even though I knew deep down that just wasn't true. A while later, I landed a job at a Whole Foods, and that feeling resurfaced; I felt like the police were tracking my movements, almost nudging my life in a positive direction, though in reality, I don't think anyone actually cared where I was or what I was doing. Maybe if I had been on a higher dose of medication, that paranoia would have completely vanished, but then I probably wouldn't have been able to hold down a job or function like a normal person. That seems to be the delicate balancing act a psychiatrist has to perform: prescribing medication that isn't so weak that the illness prevents you from living, yet isn't so strong that the drugs themselves take away your ability to operate in the world. Sometimes, unfortunately, even the smallest necessary dose feels too heavy, and you can see it written all over a person's face, in their movements, and in the way they speak.

Here is a rather trivial example of how I view things based on what you wrote to me (and you wrote it quite well).

For instance, I absolutely love watching movies, mostly horror films and psychological thrillers (though I have no idea why, since they always get under my skin).

I’ll watch a good horror or thriller with my husband (like *Signs*, for example), and afterward... I know it is almost certainly all fiction, but I still feel a sense of fear. In other words, I find myself thinking about it for the next few days, I feel afraid, and I end up reading things about it online or researching it a bit, only to stumble upon all sorts of things. Even though I know it likely doesn't exist, I still experience this discomfort and fear.

I realize this example might be a bit silly, but that is generally how everything seems to me.

I was reading some of your previous posts...
If I recall correctly (or perhaps I mixed it up), you were originally diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder?

Jamie Rogers2 said:Respect to the community. I’m in a bad spot right now and I’m looking for some answers, so I hope someone can help me out with what I’m about to say. I grew up in the foster care system my entire life; I never had parents, I was always on my own, and I’ve been forced to witness things no one should ever have to see. Now, living alone, I’m dealing with a laundry list of mental and physical issues. Insomnia, depression, constant headaches, neurodermatitis, and stomach ulcers—all at just 21 years old. Cannabis proved to be an incredibly effective remedy for all my ailments. Using cannabis oil actually brought me relief, healing both my spirit and my body. Recently, I ran into trouble with the police, and because of that, I’ve been stripped of my natural medicine. Now I'm spiraling back into all my old problems. I don't have a job, I have a disability in my right arm, I have no apartment, no house, and no family to turn to. I'm under massive amounts of stress, and my hair has even started turning gray. I’ve been researching schizophrenia, and since I exhibit every single symptom, I’m terrified that I might actually have it. I’m having hallucinations, talking to myself, feeling lethargic, lacking any willpower, and thinking about suicide every single day. My faith has been shattered, and that faith was centered on cannabis, which was my lifeline and helped me in countless ways. Now it's gone. I am a victim of police brutality; I’m facing court and will likely end up in prison just for using marijuana, even though science shows it isn't harmful in any aspect. It treats everything from basic pain to cancer. I studied it personally and gained a whole new perspective on the botanical and astral worlds; I experience trips daily, whether with it or without it. Since my mother has schizophrenia, I read that my risk of developing it is between 9% and 16%, and I am increasingly afraid that my mind and soul are broken beyond repair. I don't possess any cannabis anymore; I was never a dealer, I only used it for medicinal purposes, and I have extensive knowledge about it. I know it is the only cure for my illnesses. Back when I was in the system, I saw a psychiatrist, but he didn't tell me much other than suggesting my mental state might stem from having meningitis as an infant. I haven't had a full checkup because I also have heart issues, but given my condition, the doctor prescribed things like Norvasc, Paxil, and Prozac, among others. Those drugs turned me into a zombie; I did nothing but sleep until I developed ulcers. When I found cannabis, it felt like my prayers were answered and I finally began to recover. But now it's gone, and in this country, it's illegal. It's only illegal because big pharma would go bankrupt if people realized what cannabis actually is and stopped buying their pills. Think about it: they profit as long as we stay sick! So, my question is: do I have schizophrenia? These are the symptoms I’m experiencing: depression, lack of motivation, insomnia, suicidal ideation, outbursts of anger, mood swings, hallucinations, seeing signs in everything around me, lethargy, hyperactivity, voices in my head, and more. Everything feels like it's getting worse, and I’m terrified of enclosed spaces, which will likely be my reality if the court rules against me. I have panic attacks and paranoia every single day; when I fall asleep, I wake up shaking and drenched in sweat. I’m scared to go to a psychiatrist because I’m terrified they’ll give me a serious diagnosis and lock me away in an institution where they'll just pump me full of pills, which I can't handle anymore. I’d love to just grow my own and heal the way I know works, and I could even teach anyone interested how to grow and create the most effective medicine, but it’s illegal, and that's what's driving me crazy. Sorry for the long post. I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks in advance.

None of us can actually diagnose what you're going through. You really need to sit down with a professional and have an honest conversation with them to figure out what's actually happening.

My take, just being a layman here... it sounds like you might be dealing with some sort of psychosis.

As for marijuana, in your specific situation, it isn't a cure. It seems like it's actually triggering depression and lethargy for you, especially that second day after you use it.
Also, I'm not sure how much you know about this, but for people dealing with mental health issues—especially those with a genetic predisposition toward schizophrenia or similar conditions—marijuana can actually accelerate the onset or trigger the illness entirely. You've only been looking at the "good" side of weed, like how it helps with cancer (which doesn't actually cure it, it just manages the pain), because that's all you've been searching for. Do a little more digging online and look into the downsides. In your case, you probably shouldn't be smoking at all, especially since there is a history of mental illness in your family.

If you truly want to get better, please, go see a doctor and tell them exactly what's going on.
They aren't going to lock you up for life, and they won't necessarily pump you full of pills that turn you into a zombie (by the way, speaking of marijuana, doesn't that also slow a person down?). There are so many different medications available today that one of them will likely work for you. You don't have to give up hope immediately. Medication can be a huge help, but like I said, you have to see a doctor first. Because none of us here can actually help you with this.

Good luck...

fadedlynx96 said:The last time was twenty years ago during a psychotic episode, and it was a single occurrence.

As for why everyone seems malicious, I don't know; that is simply how the illness functions. Someone else might experience a different type of psychosis where things manifest differently. My case was characterized by hebephrenia toward the end, following paranoia.

There is nothing unusual about psychosis; I didn't just think everything was that way, I knew it as an absolute fact. There are no limits to madness, and you can become convinced of anything, and no one, absolutely no one, will be able to talk you out of it—which is perhaps why they officially call it a "severe psychotic episode."

To be fair, there were a few people I actually trusted, but they weren't around during the critical moments, which of course served as further proof that they had been eliminated, imprisoned, or whatever else happened.

Even looking back, I wasn't satisfied with the treatment I received. I believe it could have been handled much more effectively and in a far shorter timeframe, starting with the basic symptoms that could have been explained early on instead of waiting months for medications that failed to work while the condition continued to spiral.

One of the primary struggles was the constant expectation that someone would come for me, either to take me away or to kill me. You start checking the locks just to ensure no one can get in, or rather, to make sure no one can slip in while you are trying to leave. Some of those irrational ideas were direct consequences of being confined to a closed space. I know there have been studies on lab animals that showed similar results, though the research hasn't been formally recognized, and when I cited that, it was treated as just more evidence of my psychosis. I heard recently that there is scientific evidence showing that solitary confinement is devastating for mental health, which is why it is supposed to be avoided today.

I don't recall you mentioning that to me...

How long did that "torment"—that psychosis—last before they finally found the right therapy for you?

And how are your children doing? Your daughter? 🙂

Harold Harris20 said:Anyone still around? Or did everyone just magically "get better" overnight?.......... I don't even know how to summarize this situation briefly so you guys have something to read about, but here goes nothing. Basically, this Person X—who doesn't even know me or my brother, just my current ex—decided to trash my brother yesterday. As I mentioned before, he's been stuck in the hospital for almost three weeks now. This person was actually doing us a favor by dropping stuff off for him at our house a few times. But while they were there, they jumped to these conclusions (of course, they have no clue he's dealing with schizophrenia): That he’s totally uninterested, not masculine enough, way too withdrawn, looks scared, and acts like he's not the "alpha" type he should be (like, the snow outside was obviously cleared by a woman—which pissed him off because he knew he didn't do it).
Okay, so that's the quick version. What that person doesn't realize is that my brother is mentally ill. He isn't "scared," his hands have been shaking since he was five years old. He's nervous, he struggles to hold a conversation, and he gets anxious trying not to misinterpret things. Also, if he could be the "alpha" guy, he would, but he just can't right now. And yeah, I was the one clearing the snow as much as I could because he was doing so poorly; he couldn't even get out of bed due to the psychosis.
What am I really getting at here?....................It's just crazy how arrogant people act these days just because they do you a small favor. They think they have the right to stick their noses into your business and, even worse, feel entitled to judge you!--it's awful!!!
Then I started wondering, how is my brother ever supposed to find friends, or even just one friend, when people jump to conclusions immediately? I mean, he's not your "typical" guy—he's not outgoing, bubbly, or super active, etc., etc. The second someone sees him, they're just like, "what's wrong with this guy... better stay far away."
It's honestly so sad.............it's like being that kid in elementary school who gets teased by everyone just because you're different.
I'm just so disappointed.....................

Once you accept that people are just like that.. it will be easier for you. They love to talk about healthy people, but they won't bother talking about the sick ones. Personally, I don't pay attention to stuff like that anymore.. I have nothing to do with them. I don't justify myself to anyone, and I don't waste my time on things like that. You know how they say, "sweep your own doorstep first..."...

I have a mother-in-law with an illness at home too, and the neighbors have seen all sorts of scenes with her... there are a few who just ignore it (because they know she's sick), but then there are those who lean over the fence to watch the "show" and whisper comments to themselves. Regardless of whether they've seen it a hundred times already, some people just feed on that kind of thing...

I just ignore it... and focus on helping my mother-in-law instead of wasting useless energy on "pity cases" who have nothing better to do than meddle in other people's business and problems.

Just focus on your brother and your family... and screw everyone else...🙂

David Vaughn75 said:That right there? That's that razor-thin line where intuition turns into pure delusion. Once a stupid idea pops into your head, that little voice inside starts whispering that it’s actually the absolute truth.

A brain stuck in a psychotic loop refuses to believe in coincidences. It’s like if someone walks into a 7-Eleven, turns around, and sees the same guy walking behind them. Then they go back the next day, and boom—there he is again. Suddenly, the whole thing spirals into this insane mental construction: "Oh, he's definitely a CIA agent tailing me." Why? Probably because he wants to kidnap me for some lab experiment. Maybe even my own mother is part of the conspiracy.... and before you know it, the rabbit hole just keeps going deeper and deeper.

I actually asked this exact same thing in my previous post.
Are they all bad people?
Isn't it strange to think that absolutely everyone has conspired together just to do harm?
Especially if this is the second or third time it's happened, and you already know from past experiences that you might have just "imagined" it all?
If you've been through a similar situation before, only to find out later that nothing was wrong and nobody was following you?

The whole thing is just terrifying...

And completely incomprehensible... though I imagine it feels truly horrific in that moment.

fadedlynx96 said:I’m glad the shower story gave you a laugh; looking back on those moments and similar episodes always brings a bit of dark humor to my day.

The only difference was that back when I was staying in the psychiatric wards, there was a new story every single day. I would take something completely mundane and unrelated to myself and spin it into a conspiracy where people were threatening my life or trying to kill me. It ranged from claiming TV programs were actually using hypnosis on patients—which I tried to explain to friends visiting me, noting that the broadcasts were perfectly standard—to believing the military was planning to round up all the patients for suicide missions, or even that they wanted to dump me at the local zoo, perhaps as feed for the lions. Every day brought a new delusion, each one more irrational than the last. Fortunately, the doctors didn't catch onto most of them since they were effectively on the enemy's side, so there was no point in risking my safety by explaining where the perceived danger was coming from. Once, they accidentally stumbled upon the zoo story, but I avoided explaining the actual logic, offering instead these disjointed justifications that ended up sounding even more nonsensical than the truth.

It might seem funny now... but reading through the rest of it, and there is certainly a lot to read... I believe that in the exact moment it is happening, it is terrifying and frightening, truly terrifying..

Thank God that is all behind you now... and seriously, kudos to you for making it through!🙂

But living like that... I imagine it is a total catastrophe. Constant fear, worries, theories, conspiracies... just awful. Omg, I would never want to go through that.

And when was the last time something like that happened?
Why is everyone an "enemy" or "evil"?
Isn't it a bit strange in situations like that (psychosis), that it feels like absolutely everyone is against you?
I'm not talking specifically about you right now, just in general...
Isn't it odd that it feels like everyone has conspired together to cause harm?

fadedlynx96 said:I find myself compelled to comment on this bolded section; it represents just one episode from my past that I can laugh about endlessly today, though at the time, it felt exactly as I am about to describe.

After spending a few days at the Los Angeles facility while they kept me under observation for absolutely no reason—even though I was perfectly fine, if you can believe the irony—a male nurse approached me to tell me I needed to take a shower. I felt a momentary flash of pride because I understood exactly what he was asking for, though I kept my mouth shut just to avoid giving him any more ammunition to label me as unstable, since anyone would grasp such a basic instruction. I sat there weighing my response before the realization hit me that there aren't actually any showers here. I could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, but I knew instinctively it was nothing more than a recording playing through a speaker, a hollow imitation of reality. There were moments when I questioned my own sanity, wondering if the lack of showers was merely a trick of my mind, but I refused to ask him if the plumbing was real or if it was just audio, simply because I didn't want to confirm his worst suspicions about me.

After he spent some time badgering me, the guy finally convinced me to go take a look, and I followed him along, fully certain there was nothing to see since showers apparently don't exist in this place. We stepped into the bathroom where I could hear the sound of running water—which, in my mind, served only as proof that the showers weren't actually there—but then we rounded the corner and discovered actual, functional showers that you could genuinely use.

I have finally come to the realization that this entire situation is orchestrated against me, especially since no sane person would go so far as to hide the showers from view just to ensure honest people can't find them.

I wouldn't have even bothered showering on that trip if two more hospital staff hadn't shown up to bolster the team.

I never really had the heart to shower in hospitals, mostly because I found certain issues within those bathrooms that weighed heavily on me, though whether that was due to my own declining health or the facilities themselves remains a matter of some debate.

I can't speak to any kind of cure or the possibility of hope, but generally speaking, if you can manage to resolve everything during that first and only hospital stay, you might stand a chance, because anything beyond that point tends to become significantly more complicated.

My prognoses varied wildly, ranging from the absolute worst-case scenarios to slightly less grim outlooks, yet none of them offered much genuine hope. Then my primary psychiatrist told me, after three or four years of this, that it had all been a relatively minor case, almost nothing at all. It caught me completely off guard; I was bracing myself for some heavy warnings or dire precautions, but there was nothing. He simply said I was as healthy as anyone else and that I could finally walk out those doors without giving them a second thought. So I walked out, and this time, the victory felt final. I felt no urge to prove anything to anyone, no need to slam the doors until they shattered, and no craving for praise, apologies, or that submissive fear that used to be the telltale sign of my illness every time I passed through those doors before. That last time, I left knowing I wouldn't be coming back—and even if I did return, it wouldn't be because it was my first time leaving. I never told him how incredibly sorry I felt about not seeing him again, feeling like the chapter was closed, though given that one of my main struggles was severely disrupted emotions, I'm not entirely sure why I felt that way when all I had wanted for months was to get outside and slam those double glass doors so hard they’d break on both sides.

Haha... sorry, but this shower story is just too funny to me...(REALLY, SORRY 🙂 )

It is fascinating... how "you" can imagine all of that... where does all that imagination come from? All that energy spent and all those thoughts and theories surrounding a single shower... (in your specific case, at least).

A friend of mine has a father who is very old now... he deals with geriatric paranoia. They have similar situations with him... except they actually have to restrain him just to get him to shower, and he thinks they are trying to poison him... and so much more.

It’s not even an issue of capability with my mother-in-law; it’s just that she simply lacks the will. She’s completely indifferent to everything... and honestly, if she starts smelling because she refuses to shower, she doesn't care one bit. It’s all just so trivial to her. She is truly the type of person who could just sit there or lie in bed starving, yet refuse to eat a single bite...

But what can you say? That's just how she is... she's family, and I love her exactly as she is...
Truthfully, my blood pressure spikes to 150 just dealing with her, so I often have to step outside for a quick walk just to clear my head...
But what am I supposed to do? She just doesn't grasp any of it... I could tell her a hundred times that certain things she does bother me...
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down or just in a bad mood... she senses it, and she'll give my head a little pat...
It isn't that she understands nothing... it's just that she understands far less than she really should.

driftinggull21 said:There is no cure in the sense of a total recovery, unfortunately. She takes medication that manages the symptoms just enough to prevent them from spiraling further. As for hope, there is always hope. 🙂
I know it's difficult, but this is a chronic, lifelong condition. Even residual symptoms mean the schizophrenia remains.😢
The priority is using therapy to prevent worsening and hallucinations.
If she has enough work history, apply for her Social Security disability benefits; with an F-22 diagnosis, she will certainly meet the medical criteria.

It doesn't bother me, really. Let her be ill; I'm not expecting some miraculous recovery, but I truly hope for some improvement... that she won't stay stuck like this, or heaven forbid, get even worse. I just hope she finds a little bit of willpower, or some spark of life again...

She has 28 years of work experience... I assume that should be enough?

Noah Garcia4 said:Hey everyone,
William Evans10, thanks for asking. I’m doing about as well as can be expected, I suppose.
It’s been a bit of a struggle lately, honestly, given the mess my life has turned into.
My doctor mentioned that feeling this level of difficulty is actually a sign that I'm grounded in reality,
since the hallucinations haven't made an appearance yet—thank God for small mercies.
After a long stretch of chaos, I’m finally living alone in my apartment; I actually find the peace quite refreshing. Plus, my doctor has significantly scaled back my medication dosage.😲
Right now, I’m on 50mg of Seroquel and 1mg of Risperdal; I’ve cut out the Xanax entirely, though I still take 20mg of Lexapro in the morning.
The antipsychotics are at a bare minimum now, while the Lexapro—my antidepressant—remains at a standard, higher dose.
Still, I make sure to treat myself occasionally, whether it's getting my nails done or other little luxuries.😬
I’m keeping up with all my responsibilities, too. Some days it’s a massive uphill battle to get moving, but then I just force myself to do it—and let's be real, isn't that what "normal" people do anyway?😉
(Essentially, the guy ended up in exile, so I’ve managed to "survive" without chatting with him, and now there's a divorce looming on the horizon.)
I'm also being mindful of my diet; we're entering the third month now, and I have absolutely no intention of outgrowing my favorite pair of jeans.
I've picked up a few new hobbies around town—not that I want to get into the weeds with the details—so we'll just see how things play out.
I’ve spent some time catching up on all the movies that were nominated for an Oscar, and... yeah, that's about it.

As for your mother-in-law, I really don't know. But if she could just open up a little and try to communicate—even just through the small stuff—she might find that her own family knows how to help her. That's the only thing that comes to mind.

It’s tough for you... just as it would be tough for anyone else in your shoes.
You need time... it is all still so fresh. It will pass eventually.

The important thing is to keep your mind occupied... and to find happiness in the little things to fill your day.🙂 Honestly, from what you're telling me... you're actually enjoying yourself, dear.🙂 My life is just house, lunch, kids, husband, mother-in-law... and when I finally get a moment to myself (to fix my nails or color my hair), I just collapse onto the couch.🙂

But then again, there are days when I truly can't face anything... days when I just want to lounge around.🙂

To make a long story short (so I don't get scolded 🙂), I am glad to hear you are doing okay.😉

As for the mother-in-law, she is doing as well as can be expected... just do what I told you to do.
The two of us talk, and she is aware that she is ill, but she doesn't know how someone could help her. She doesn't even know how to help herself, to find any spark of will or enjoyment in the small things. For now, the only solution I see, which might actually motivate her, is to ensure she isn't just lying around all day and to constantly come up with little activities or tasks for her to do... so, that is essentially it.

Don't worry too much about her; she does everything I tell her, but I have to use a very firm tone, otherwise she won't budge.
She's become somewhat "stale" and cold, listless... but we will see. The main thing is that she stays active.

Check in with me every once in a while so I can hear how you are doing.
🙂