Posts by Steven Patel5

placidjackal14 said:Well... honestly, she might totally be testing you—seeing how you'd react if you actually found yourselves in that spot, or maybe just checking to see how serious you really are about her... but still, it's not exactly cool of her to mess around with stuff like that!! 😠

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Any thoughts on how I can figure out if she's actually screwing me over or what? Honestly, my mind is a total blank right now.

Hey everyone! You probably remember me from my little meltdown a while back when I was convinced I was about to become a dad. It’s been a long time since that last negative test—I was honestly relieved at the time—but lately, things have felt a bit off. My wife took another test recently (which I didn't get to see myself) and told me it was negative. But then, out of nowhere, we were supposed to head to our appointment with the OBGYN today, and she suddenly gets hit with her period. She says the cramps are brutal, so obviously, the doctor's visit is off the table.
It got me thinking, though... maybe she was just testing the waters to see how I'd handle the whole situation? What do you guys think? Am I overthinking this?

John Young3 said:Oh, Steven Patel5, you just won't admit that you actually wanted a little one after all. 😘 Best of luck; I hope everything works out fine for you and your girlfriend.

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Look, obviously I want kids one day, but right now? It’s just not the right timing for us at all.
I've got other things weighing on my mind because, honestly, it's getting weird—my period still hasn't shown up and I'm already on day 16... I might run another test, though I saw with my own eyes that there was no positive line in that big window. We used one of those Intim Plus tests—you know, the new ones the girls on here swear by—but who knows. We'll just have to see what happens once we get to the OBGYN.

Phew! My girlfriend just took a test and the result was NEGATIVE. I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, though I wouldn't say I'm exactly celebrating either. Now we're just left wondering what the actual issue is, since she still hasn't gotten her period.
Thanks a ton for everything. Talk soon... catch ya later! :-*

I know we’re all pretty immature and, frankly, a little slow on the uptake. Maybe that’s why God put this kind of test in our path—to force us to actually think for a second before we go charging blindly into things. Honestly, I’m mostly talking about myself here. I can be incredibly reckless, acting like I’m still eighteen years old when I really should know better... and man, I could definitely use the lesson.

Thomas Scott5 said:I'm with them. Wait, you're both old enough and have solid jobs...

One more vital question though: do you actually love each other?

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We love each other, but we aren't ready for this—not by a long shot. I even thought about abortion, but honestly, the word itself feels too heavy to even say out loud, let alone suggest to her. I just don't want her to suffer down the road. And god, this bright sunny day? It’s probably the worst day of my life.

Thomas Scott5 said:I see you started answering some questions while I was still typing my post.

Look, I don't want to be a jerk, but between ages 25 and 28, did you guys seriously not consider the possibility that she could still get pregnant?

Okay, so they were careful, but accidents happen.

Maybe it really is just stress right now. Use this time to actually sit down and talk about what happens next, regardless of whether there's a positive test or not.

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We were being careful, sure, but when things are going great, you don't dwell on the "what ifs." Plus, you have protection, so you feel secure. You start thinking it's impossible for it to happen to *you*. You think you're invincible. And then... well, we messed up.

Thomas Scott5 said:Whoa, let’s dial it back a notch. I get that you guys are stressed, but claiming these are the worst days of your lives is a bit much. Definitely not.

There are way, way worse things than an unplanned pregnancy.

Look, here’s my take:
Both of you just need to take a deep breath.
Have her take another test in the morning.
If it comes back positive, just sleep on it to let the initial shock wear off.
Try to actually look at the big picture: what exactly changes? Why is this such a disaster? Is it really as bad as it feels right now? If you need to sleep on it for a couple of days, do it.

The fact that you haven't lived together yet doesn't mean anything. How old are you guys? Are you working? In college? Living with your parents?

You mentioned you've been together for five years. Have you seriously never once discussed what would happen if she got pregnant?

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We both work and we live with our parents. I'm 28 and she's 25. We have talked about it before, honestly, and we both feel like it wouldn't fit our lives right now and that we aren't ready.

Brian Brown said:Don't even go there... honestly, the absolute worst days of your life are when someone you love gets sick or when you’re desperately trying to start a family and nothing is happening... what you guys are dealing with right now is actually a beautiful problem to have... though I guess from where you're sitting, it feels totally different.

Like those other girls were saying, she should probably just take a test in the morning... personally, I took one in the afternoon and saw those lines immediately... maybe your girlfriend is just stressed out and her cycle is running late? Just relax, sit down, and actually talk to each other... maybe this whole situation is just a sign to figure out if you two are actually meant to be together for the long haul or if you're both just heading in different directions!

good luck👍

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She's been stressed for two weeks now since she's late, and she mentioned she caught a nasty cold at work. But she's never been this late before, even when she was sick. The more I sit here and think about it, the more I feel like we might actually be looking at a pregnancy.

rustyorca15 said:Please, try not to view this through such a tragic lens. How old are you two, if you don't mind me asking?

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I'm 28 and she's 25.

Arthur Nelson5 said:Steven Patel5, I was just thinking about how much I wanted to pull you aside here and tell you that we’re all basically rooting for you to finally settle down and start a family...👍

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Don't even joke about that. Seriously, I am not ready. We don't have a place of our own, and both my parents and hers are totally wrapped up in their own lives right now. Being a subtenant these days is already a massive headache without adding a kid into the mix... it would be a total disaster. We aren't prepared, and honestly, I wouldn't want a child to suffer through that kind of instability.

John Young3 said:Steven Patel5, if I may pose a somewhat personal question regarding your 🙂. Why is the prospect of having a child being avoided? I mean, what happens if it turns out she actually is pregnant? Have you two ever sat down and had a serious conversation about that outcome?

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Look, we haven't actually sat down and talked about this, and honestly, it’s probably for the best since we haven't even tried living under one roof yet, let alone dealing with all this mess. We just aren't on the same page. If it turns out she's pregnant, I swear I'll just pray for the ground to swallow me whole because we are nothing but bad luck. I know plenty of couples out there who have their fun and nothing happens to them. It's just not our luck.
I’m honestly at my breaking point... these might just be the worst days I've ever had in my life.

I’m still playing the tape back in my head, trying to figure out exactly where we went wrong. We've been practicing safe sex the same way for five years now. It might sound a little ridiculous to be laying this all out, but I can't stop thinking about this one specific time. Things were getting pretty intense, right at the peak, when the condom slipped and a piece ended up stuck inside her. I didn't actually finish in that one—I swapped it out for a fresh one and finished in the second one instead. We usually start things off without protection before putting a condom on... so, is there any actual chance that I’m the one to blame here?

Of course I’ll keep you guys posted. You’re honestly the only ones I can turn to right now. Thanks so much, everyone!! So, she just told me she used PRIMASTICK, so please tell me—how reliable is that brand? And do the lines have to be super dark, or is it normal if they're a bit faint?

I don’t really have anyone else to turn to, so I figured this was my best shot. Maybe I’m overthinking things because I’m a guy, but honestly, I am freaking out here and I don't have anyone to ask about this kind of stuff.
So, here's the deal: my girlfriend is over two weeks late with her period. We went out and grabbed a pregnancy test to see if we could get some answers, but we couldn't make heads or tails of the results. Instead of those clear pink lines you're supposed to see, there were just these faint, blurry smudges at the edge of the little windows. No actual lines. It wasn't even her first urine of the morning, though the box says that shouldn't matter, so now I'm just sitting here wondering where we messed up.
The worst part is that we weren't looking for this, and we were using a condom every single time.
I'm a complete wreck right now, and I honestly have no clue what I'm supposed to do if it turns out she actually is pregnant...