Posts by rowdyheron80

Hey everyone... I really need some advice here 😢

So, here’s the deal: I just enrolled in my junior year of college—I'm turning almost 30 $0.00—and I have my first tuition installment of about 12 $0.00 coming due very soon. The problem? I already told my parents I had this handled because I worked so much over the summer. The truth is, I haven't actually saved anything. I ended up giving most of my earnings to them to help out—they're both getting older and dealing with some health issues, and between their two different loans and my sister being in high school, they're struggling to make ends meet every month. I wanted to take some weight off their shoulders, you know? But now I'm stuck. How can I apply for a student loan without involving them? I don't want to drag them into the paperwork or risk them being tied to any co-signing or guarantor stuff... please, if anyone has any ideas or advice, I'm all ears... 🙏

Susan Wilson56 said:I use an epilator on my face, but then I just end up breaking out in these tiny bumps—and honestly, even though it feels more like I'm just snapping the hairs off rather than pulling them out, I keep doing it anyway despite the breakouts.😠 A few days ago, I had this massive allergic reaction where the skin on my shoulders actually started cracking, right when I was planning on attacking them with the epilator.🙂🙂 I don't think it's going to work, though—the device barely picks up anything from my upper back or near my shoulders, even though there’s definitely hair there.😕 Maybe the epilator is jammed or something? Or maybe it's just acting up?🤷 On the bright side, I used it on one specific spot on my bikini line a couple of times, and you can already see the difference compared to the areas where I just shave everything down—I'm actually kind of proud of that little patch of skin.🙂

You should probably just grab a new one—get one that actually has safety guards and specialized heads for different body parts, don't make life harder than it needs to be.😢
And oh man, seriously... regarding the bikini area—you have truly taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I haven't even dared to discover the "magic" of epilating that area yet.😁 🙂

Emily Lopez said:Honestly, I’d invite her over for a mutual hair removal session 😍
I use depilatory cream for my butt, back, shoulders, stomach, neck, face, and chest—then an epilator for my legs and arms. Most days I’m fine, but then out of nowhere, the rashes start breaking out. It’s honestly tragicomic at this point. I’m either way too hairy or just way too sensitive to pretty much any method you try.
I gave up on going to the salon because getting a full treatment once a month ends up costing me a fortune, and the thing is, I need to deal with it every ten days... which is more frequent than even a bi-weekly appointment.
Thanks, dear long-lost family member ☕
I even tried bleaching the hair on my back, butt, and stomach, but I can still feel it under my fingers. But hey, I guess you get used to everything eventually...

🙏 There are some things you mentioned that I don't even dare touch, and man, the rashes... they absolutely wreck me. Just when I think I'm finally in the clear, everything turns red, itchy, and irritated—it looks terrible. Baby powder helps a bit, but it’s such a pain to constantly be dusting my underwear with it or slathering on creams several times a day. It’s just one big, exhausting headache. 🙄

Megan Jones27 said:Well, look, I only mentioned my arm hair as an example—mostly because I seem to have more than most guys I know. As for the rest of my body? Let's just leave it at that.

Yeah, honestly, having those tiny little dark hairs on your arms is one thing, but dealing with it all over your body... that's a whole different level of annoying. At least I hope you don't run into issues with things like epilators—you know, the whole rash or skin irritation situation—or if the hair is just particularly thick and dark. That makes everything way harder.

Grace Chase97 said:Look, speaking as someone who loves women,🤣 I can tell you right now—if I met a girl I actually clicked with, the last thing on my mind would be checking her hormone levels to see if she’s "worthy." Like, who even does that?
So, honestly, if this guy leaves because he’s too picky about body hair or whatever weird standard he’s got, just know you didn't lose anything. He wasn't the one.☕

It’s actually really refreshing to hear a different kind of perspective like that—it's a nice bit of feminine wisdom, haha 😉

Brenda Ramos2 said:Honestly, I went in for laser hair removal on my face and barely even felt a thing.

I mean, maybe it just depends on the person!

Thanks so much for taking the time to write out such a massive wall of text—I know it wasn't easy to sit down and hash all that out 😁 Honestly, looking at everything you said at the start, I don't even know where to begin besides saying how glad I am to read your perspective. It’s actually pretty encouraging to hear someone else thinking along these lines; it makes me feel a lot less alone in this whole thing. As for the laser hair removal stuff, thanks for the heads-up there too. You see all these ads and articles everywhere claiming it’s totally painless and basically feels like nothing, but if your friend says otherwise—and she's a pretty tough lady—then I'm betting those companies are just lying through their teeth to sell more sessions. I'm definitely going to be more careful about everything 🙂 🙂

Sarah Rodriguez68 said:There are plenty of girls dealing with extra hair growth. I mean, maybe it’s not clinical hirsutism, but if the result is the same—excessive hair—then we're in the same boat. Much like girl-number-8 mentioned, my own issues started right after I stopped taking birth control because of PCOS. Since I couldn't take the pill anyway due to some blood clotting issues (and honestly, I didn't want to), I was pretty much left to deal with it on my own.
I managed to sort out the other PCOS symptoms through diet changes and various herbal supplements, but the hair? That stayed. I wouldn't call myself a monster, but I definitely see them. The ones that used to be light have darkened, and new ones keep popping up. I’m plucking, bleaching, using creams to slow down the growth, and currently hunting for a more permanent solution...
rowdyheron80—I totally get you. When this first started happening to me, I thought the world was ending. I have really fair skin, so every single hair stands out—literally. I became obsessed with watching other women and constantly comparing myself to them. Even now, I find myself looking at others to see who has hair or who’s plucking their upper lip and stuff... It actually makes things a little easier knowing we aren't alone in this.🙂
But I'm trying to stay positive; there are a billion worse things that could happen in life... just exercise, spend time outdoors or doing whatever you love, eat healthy, and find a good endocrinologist and a solid esthetician, and life will be a lot easier!
Sending you a huge kiss and lots of support!😘

Same here. I’m super pale, so I guess that’s why I feel like everything is so visible... and regardless, it helps to see—even if it's just anonymously here—that there are others out there. I've never actually met anyone in person, but thanks for the advice. I'll try my best to shift my mindset over time and start tackling these things head-on. 🙂 🙂

Susan Wilson56 said:I’m also super hairy—honestly, I’ve got hair everywhere except my eyelids and behind my ears. My hormones were totally fine about nine months ago, but then I started on birth control, and once I stopped (about six months back), I really started noticing facial hair, plus it's popping up in other spots too. I don't think it's a hormone issue though, because my period has been clockwork since day one, so maybe I just am what I am. I've been in a relationship for over a year now, and I’ve never actually sat my boyfriend down and said, "Hey, just so you know, I plucked my face today," but he definitely notices. I mean, honestly, who wouldn't? He’s looking at me from like six inches away—I can't exactly pretend it isn't visible. Even when I look at my friend, who deals with the same thing, I notice the hair on her face, and I'm not even getting in her personal space like my guy does. Truthfully, lately I find myself constantly scanning everyone else to see if they have hair like mine. My self-esteem has taken a massive hit, which has definitely bled into my relationship, but he always tells me I look prettier and more beautiful every single day. For now, I deal with my legs using a razor and everything else with an epilator. Permanent solutions are just way out of my budget right now, so for my face, I’m planning to try some Bioxet cream and see if it actually works. Until I can get rid of them for good, I guess there's nothing left to do but just accept myself as I am.
hang in there😉

🙂
I took birth control to help regulate my cycle, and while that worked perfectly, the hair situation didn't change one bit. And I totally relate to that habit of checking other girls—I feel like I haven't met a single person without subconsciously inspecting them from every angle to see their facial hair😲 too. I'm also stuck using an epilator as a temporary fix. Pleaseee let me know how that Bioxet cream works if you end up trying it👍

wiredfalcon2 said:switching gears over to health stuff. anyway, don't sweat it—you look great.

👋 thanks for both, really.

shadowhound8 said:Look, maybe I’m just wired differently than the average guy, but I definitely wouldn't be the type to just blurt things out on my own initiative.
When you're already head over heels—or even just deeply in love—with someone, your brain kind of goes into this weird defensive mode. It sees the truth right in front of its face, but it just refuses to acknowledge it. It’s like a mental blind spot; you just ignore the red flags because you're too busy loving the person behind them.
If you're struggling to move past that, try to push through it. And if you really can't—like, if you've already heard it from a bunch of people and you're stuck—don't feel bad about seeking out some actual professional help at a proper clinic.

So... basically what you're saying is he can see everything happening, but his brain just chooses to look the other way?

nimblemaker52 said:Alright, look—it might be time to go see an endocrinologist. There are plenty of options out there besides just standard birth control that can help manage androgen levels, so I’d definitely suggest getting a specialist's opinion on this.

Can I actually see an endocrinologist with just a referral from my primary care doctor?

rustyheron13 said:Look, you’re dealing with a situation that isn’t your fault—at all. You don't owe anyone an apology for something you didn't cause, so try not to let it get under your skin too much. Honestly? Anyone who judges you or pushes you away because of a genetic condition isn't someone you'd want to build a life or a family with anyway. If I can be a bit controversial here—forgive me—but maybe just forgive them for their reaction. Humans are basically hardwired by evolution to seek out healthy partners for reproduction, and we subconsciously recoil from anything that signals otherwise. Ethics and morality are great, sure, but they were added to the human playbook way after those primal instincts took hold.

Think of it this way: you actually have a built-in filter to weed out the idiots. And compared to some of the truly devastating illnesses people face, what you're going through isn't so catastrophic that you can't find a silver lining somewhere. Plus, there are probably treatments out there that could help tone down the visible symptoms.

I was skimming through the replies quickly and noticed you mentioned you've been avoiding doctors altogether. Well, it’s kind of like trying to fix a transmission at a nail salon—you wouldn't do it, right? Medical issues need to be handled by professionals in their own field. If your first experience with a doctor was a dud, go find a better one. Don't give up on medicine entirely; its whole purpose is to make life easier for you. Hang in there!

Thanks, rustyheron13. What you said about humans being evolutionarily programmed to instinctively shy away from things they perceive as "unfit"—I think there's a lot of truth to that. It's going to take me some time to work up the nerve to dive back into medical solutions, though. I've been burned before, and back then, the symptoms weren't nearly as pronounced as they are now. But I'll get there... and I definitely agree with you that this isn't as tragic as some of the heavier stuff people deal with. Maybe I'm just being shallow by feeling like my situation is the worst, but it's hard not to feel that way sometimes.

shadowhound8 said:Between the six-month timeline and what you shared about your own experience—plus the fact that you mentioned having some hair issues on your face (or at least that's how I took it)—there’s just no way he didn't notice something.

I don't know, I really don't... 😲 maybe you're right, but couldn't he have just brought something up or asked a question, you know? Just being a guy?

shadowhound8 said:👍

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend already picked up on it—he probably just isn't saying anything because, honestly, what's the point? (At least, that’s how I’d handle it if I were in his shoes)

What makes you think he noticed, though??

hollowmason64 said:Look, I know I’m totally playing the hall monitor here—which, honestly, isn't really my vibe—but what does any of this actually have to do with UNESCO? 🤷

OT—I'm pretty sure your leg hair is driving you crazy, but don't sweat it too much. There are plenty of guys out there who actually prefer the natural look anyway; not everyone is looking for a perfectly smooth finish. 🤣

Sorry about that, I'm still figuring out how everything works here and I think I posted this in the wrong spot. 🙂

Carol Long87 said:Just so I don't get flagged for going off-topic over in that other thread: see? We aren't giving you some wild, out-of-this-world advice here. You already know the drill—you've got to be yourself, stay chill, and just be at peace with who you are. And honestly, you aren't going to find that kind of headspace until you just tell the guy. Then it's over.

Just tell him. You'll survive, trust me.

And hey, if he ghosts you because of it, then he’s just an idiot you didn't need in your life anyway.

uh... yeah... I know... I just really hope he isn't an idiot...

nimblemaker52 said:Can't you just take androgen antagonists? You know, those meds that block the effects of androgen hormones.
I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing you here—really, I don't—but did an endocrinologist actually rule out that kind of therapy, or did it just not work for you?

Oh, don't worry, you aren't lecturing me at all! Honestly. Up until about a year ago, I was working through this stuff with my OB-GYN, but after trying Yasmin, I pretty much just threw in the towel. So, for the last year, I haven't really been seeing anyone in the medical field—just kind of navigating everything on my own as best as I can.🤷

Casey Cruz4 said:Look, you really need to work on your mindset here—honestly, this isn't even a real issue. You're still young, healthy, and gorgeous. Just breathe and actually live your life for once. Learn to love yourself exactly as you are; trust me, you could've easily turned out way worse, just like the rest of us. I think you're definitely overthinking this one.

Fair enough, but how am I supposed to just "relax" when I'm constantly obsessing over every little thing people can or can't see?

Sam Hayes said:I know this one girl—honestly, she’s stunning, a total knockout—but she refuses to wear shorts because she’s always worried about hair growth. I never even considered that she might be dealing with that same "condition"... It’s easy for us to sit here and say "don't worry about it," but at the end of the day, she’s the only one living in her own skin...
I deal with my own stuff too, though mine isn't really about hair—it's more about skin texture, scarring, pigmentation issues... everything just feels a bit off and different, which honestly makes things even harder, even if I don't consider myself unattractive. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'll never quite fit that "perfectly normal" mold everyone else seems to have... so, yeah, you aren't alone in this... 👍

🙂 so glad to hear from you 🙂 and I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "she's the only one living in her own skin"...