Posts by Charles Grant7

briskowl85 said:Spot on, I'm right there with you on that one.

I think we all go through those phases where it feels like everyone else has it figured out and life is just easy for them. 🙂 The reason this stuff is actually getting to me is basically because:
First off, I recently crushed a 100% written exam all on my own, only to have my professor look me dead in the eye during the oral part and accuse me of cheating. 😠
Second, I had this group of three friends I hung out with every single day, and we had a blast, until I found out they spent a good chunk of their time gossiping about "what they'd do to me." 🙄
And third, most other girls are pretty much cold toward me—rarely an exception—no matter how hard I try to be friendly and open.
I guess it turns out that everything truly does come with its own set of pros and cons. 😉

1) Honestly, anyone would look twice at someone getting a 100% on a written test. It’s not a common occurrence, especially if it hasn't happened to that person before. And besides, what did she mean by looking at you strangely? My professor used to give me weird looks just because I had long hair, so I just ignored it.
2) Men would hit on anyone. If you happen to be attractive, that's just a given.
3) Maybe you're actually annoying people with being overly polite. Personally, I can't stand people I barely know who act excessively sweet. It feels fake, like they're desperately searching for a friend.

None of what you wrote convinces me that you're particularly hot, let alone as passionate as you claim to be. You might want to consider that the issue lies with your behavior rather than your looks.

Brian Parker6 said:"Unattractive" looks? If you’ve got charisma, who cares. You could probably pull some strings by cleaning up your act a bit—maybe play around with your style or grab a better haircut. I bet it’d make a difference. Then again, if you don't give a damn, that's on you, though a few little tricks might help. The real key is just owning it. Convincing yourself you're the man matters way more than worrying about what your partner thinks of your face. Just don't turn into a total narcissist about it.
Take Gerard Depardieu, for instance. He’s gorgeous because he’s imperfect. Total sex symbol to me. 😍

I honestly have such a soft spot for this kind of nonsense. You only think he’s attractive because you’ve spent years watching him play those specific characters on screen; you're falling for the persona, not the actual man.

brighteagle39 said:Beauty and self-confidence aren't actually linked in that way. There are plenty of people who might not fit traditional beauty standards but possess immense confidence, just as there are stunning individuals who are deeply insecure.
Self-esteem isn't built on your reflection.
Regarding the main topic, I don't believe attractive people have an inherent advantage over anyone else, unless we are talking about something specific like a pageant or a modeling competition.

Actually, I disagree. I think they definitely have an edge. They get more attention from the opposite sex, and honestly, it helps in many career paths too. For crying out loud, a good-looking guy might even snag an extra scoop of fries at McDonald's just because he flashed a smile at the girl behind the counter. Let's be real—you've probably been in a situation where you were a little extra polite to a woman simply because she was stunning. The only area where less attractive people might have the upper hand is that they aren't constantly obsessed with their appearance; since looks didn't get them far, they didn't focus on it, which often leads to a much more grounded, peaceful life. That is, assuming they don't spiral into depression over their looks. 😬

briskowl85 said:I have to admit, I’m on the other side of this one too. Growing up, nobody ever actually told me I was pretty until I hit my twenties (well, except for my mom 🙄). Before that, everyone just thought I was "cute," sweet, or smart. I can't quite put my finger on when the shift happened—other than the fact that I'm not dealing with those hormone-fueled breakouts anymore 😉—but lately, it feels like all I hear is how good I look. I’ve even been invited onto a few specialized talk shows on networks like CNN to share my expertise, and it drives me crazy because NOBODY ever mentions my insights or what I actually know; they just comment on my appearance. It’s honestly pretty insulting and discouraging, and I really feel like once people decide you're attractive, they stop taking your brain seriously. 👎

Wait, seriously?! I totally thought otherwise! Oh my god... 🤣

I can't stand that song by D'Angelo. I actually lost out on an incredible woman because of it.

urbannomad12 said:I used to spend my time hunting for that one specific person to fall for, hoping I could somehow engineer them to feel the same way. Now I realize that’s an entirely flawed approach to love, to life, and to everything else. But what if that flawed method actually gets you somewhere, while the "right" way leaves you with nothing? Am I just supposed to wait for Godot?

Honestly, I don't get why everyone obsesses over this mystical idea of love. Look, sure, we all hope for it eventually, but you need to live your life normally without letting it consume you. You have friends, family, your job, college—don't let your whole existence depend on one thing. People tend to romanticize love as some magic fix for every problem, but it isn't. Even when it's happening, it's far from perfect, and once it's gone, it's brutal. Sometimes it's better to just appreciate things as they are. You can have peace and stability without that constant, heavy longing where you're feeling lonely, losing your mind, and just completely screwed because you're waiting to see them again. Forget that nonsense!

Looking at the guys she was actually dating, I tried changing myself. Everyone claims women want men who act a certain way, and honestly, there might be some truth to that.

Don't even think about doing that. You won't be able to maintain the lie forever; eventually, she'll realize you aren't who you were pretending to be and walk away, leaving you in an even worse spot. Look at it my way: nobody is worth putting on an act for. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, they can move along. Don't take this the wrong way—I dealt with The Dilemma myself quite recently. Then it suddenly hit me: why the hell would I go against my own nature just to increase my odds? Let it go. Just be yourself. At the very least, you'll know that they liked *you*, not some character you were playing.

urbannomad12 said:🙂 It’s happening to me too. You’ve given me plenty to chew on over the next few days.
Honestly, I wouldn't call myself a looker. That hit me hard when I was a kid, and looking back, it probably did some real damage. While other kids were holding hands and playing Romeo and Juliet, I was just standing there watching from the sidelines. I never really participated. Maybe that’s why I never went through those awkward little childhood romances—those meaningless flings everyone loves to reminisce about. Instead, I spent my time reading, playing sports, and hitting the gym. Eventually, I managed to build up some self-confidence, and things finally started moving for me. For a while there, I couldn't complain, though there were definitely times I felt like absolute garbage.

The problem is, it feels like that childhood insecurity is baked into my DNA. No matter how much my confidence grows, that old feeling never quite fades; it's always lurking there. For instance, I don't think I have the knack for reading whether a girl likes me during that initial phase where you're just exchanging glances. The worst part is walking down the street, spotting a beautiful woman, our eyes meet, she shyly looks down, then slowly raises her head and smiles. And then what am I supposed to do? Chase her down and make small talk about the weather? It’s not that I lack social skills, but I’m not going to pull that move in a situation like that. Plus, I mostly run into women at the local pub, on the sidewalk, or on the subway.

It’s like I’m listening to myself. Not in everything, but in most things. And like you said, I’m pretty terrible with women. Take me, for example: I’m always brutally honest about both the good and the bad. I lay everything out on the table right at the start so there are no surprises later. And what happens? The ones who don't run for the hills immediately end up thinking I'm joking or messing with them, because a month later they start nagging me about something I told them would happen from day one. So, my advice to you is to talk about yourself and your thoughts as little as possible. When you do have to say something, polish it up a bit. They’re going to find something to complain about eventually anyway, so you might as well maximize your chances at the beginning.
As for those women you pass by in transit? They're the hardest. You think you have a shot, but you don't even have an opening. With stuff like that, it's best not to give it a second thought at all.