Posts by Bryan Brown58

darkmason17 said:Everything was fine at first.
I didn't expect much. It worked for me.
Now I realize I care too much, and if I don't fix this, I won't have any peace.
I've made up my mind. I'm ready.
Can someone help me figure out how to pull this off?
I want us to part ways like decent human beings without him triggering some massive guilt trip about how he'll change...

Starting a relationship is easy; ending one is the real grind.
No matter what advice you get, the heavy lifting falls on you—the actual act of walking away. From what I can tell, he’s been playing the sympathy card to keep you hooked. Your only move is to be firm and logical; you have to convince him that your decision is final and necessary. But watch out—even if you're clear, he might still try to manipulate you with pity. If he does, take that as your sign to cut ties completely. Don't even bother trying to stay friends.
Learn to distinguish between genuine sadness and a calculated play for sympathy. The line is thin and easy to miss. Trust your gut.
Good luck.

darkmason17 said:You’re right about that.
From a guy's perspective, tell me—is there any chance this fallback option ever actually becomes a priority? Like, could he eventually see this person as someone he'd actually want to be in a relationship with?
When I cut ties, I cut them clean. I'm worried he just doesn't get that.👎

Some people just don't change. Period. People only evolve when life hits them hard enough to make them question why everything is falling apart or why they lost what they had.
I don't know enough to give you a definitive answer, but looking at the big picture? I don't think you two will ever find happiness together. Even if you did, you'd inevitably end up asking him, "How long did it take you to finally realize this?" and that would just eat at him. In short...
When you make a clean break, you have to follow through. Sometimes. I’ve stayed on good terms with a few exes. With others, I haven't. And with some, it was a total scorched-earth situation.
In your case, I think you need to make it permanent.

tinna said:Terrible 😱
I'm at a loss for words.

I've finally decided I can't live like this anymore.
We've been "together" for almost three years now.
My only fear is making a massive mistake by walking away and regretting it later.
I'm searching for some solid reason to dump him. I can't find any because there aren't any. He's a great guy. The only issue is this indecision—or whatever you want to call it.

What do you mean there are no reasons to leave? You want things he doesn't want. Your core interests just don't align on the most fundamental level. That kind of relationship works if both people are honest about the situation and perfectly fine with how it is.
Here’s my take, from a man's perspective:
The guy is insecure. He's lost. He hangs out with his crew, messes around, meets new people, hits the bars... meanwhile, you're always right there whenever things get heavy, or when he lacks the willpower or energy to go out and play. You're his safety net. You're the constant support system he wants to keep tucked away for himself. It's obvious you care about him, but you need to start caring about yourself.
If you ever decide to stop playing this submissive role—which is what this looks like to me—believe me, he'll regret it. And he should.
You deserve your own life and people who actually want you by their side in every sense of the word.

I once had this casual thing going with a girl for about three months. She loved playing the field, always out on the town, but whenever she couldn't make plans, she’d just swing by my place because she knew I was hooked. She spent half our time together obsessing over her skincare routine and those high-end razors she used. You learn things, I guess. 😈
Anyway, I decided it was time to give her a little taste of her own medicine. I went out, met someone else, and had a great time. When I finally told her? Total meltdown. Absolute chaos. Luckily, she flew out of the country for a week right after, giving me some breathing room. But when she got back, she suddenly decided she was "finally ready" to settle down and be serious—and apparently, I was the lucky winner. We ended up hanging out for three days leading up to New Year's Eve. Since we both had prior commitments, we celebrated separately; I stayed home with my buddies, while she hit up some local pub. Around 3:00 AM, I decided to head over to see her since she wasn't picking up my calls or checking in. I left the guys to their party, made the trek over there, and what do I find? Her with some other guy. I just said, "Take care," and walked away. :2up:
Sure, she felt bad, and honestly, I felt a bit of it too. But why live your life as a slave to someone else's whims?