Okay... so how am I even supposed to tell if I actually need therapy or not? When I look around, I see families that are way more messed up than mine, but then I see others that seem a lot "better" on the surface—which doesn't necessarily mean they’re actually healthier.
key_4 said:Doesn't every single family have its share of drama? Or can someone please explain to me what a "healthy" or "normal" family actually looks like? What's the standard?
Look, there’s small stuff and then there’s the heavy, life-altering mess. My parents split up when I was seven, and my mom left us. I ended up living with my dad. He never remarried and basically made me his entire world, but unfortunately, he was incredibly aggressive and had no clue how to actually raise a kid. He’d constantly lash out at me about my mother and all that... I won't go into the gritty details. As I got older, he just became more volatile, bitter, and angry. It was everything. I eventually hit a breaking point and couldn't take it anymore. To me, a "normal" family means having both parents present, where you aren't getting smacked or treated like garbage just because one parent doesn't like something the other said or did. A healthy family relies on solid communication above all else. And honestly? I'm certain those kinds of families actually exist.
Is there actually such a thing as a family without some level of drama? Seriously, someone please explain to me what a "healthy" or "normal" family even looks like. What is the standard we're all supposed to be aiming for?
Alex Rogers96 said:Look, I'm not just talking about teenage angst here. There’s way more to toxic family dynamics than just growing pains.
In my experience, it was much deeper than that, and it definitely wasn't just some phase. I was only 19 when I finally hit my breaking point from all the constant bullshit.
Alex Rogers96 said:It sounds like you just went to the wrong professional. There are plenty of actual psychotherapists out there. Getting an answer like that is basically someone telling you to "get lost."
😁 Honestly, I can't remember exactly, it was quite a while ago.
If you're actually in training, then maybe you can offer some decent advice.
For me, things finally clicked once I moved out of my parents' house, though I know moving out at 16 or 18 isn't really realistic or wise for most people.
Either we all need to go see a therapist, or absolutely nobody does—meaning, in reality, almost no one actually goes... what’s your take, Alex Rogers96? Is it all or nothing?
I actually went to therapy because of all the issues I was having with my old man. If I remember correctly, they told me it was just a typical teenage rebellion phase. I saw someone privately.
Oh, please, what kind of psycho therapist is this even 🙄 Sure, there’s trauma to work through, but honestly—who didn't have issues with their parents during puberty? I practically wanted to run away every other day🙄
Alex Rogers96 said:He's a solid therapist. He can step back and give you that objective, outside perspective on what’s actually going on between you two.
Alex Rogers96 said:The most toxic "games" actually happen within families. Even if you physically move away, those patterns follow you into every new relationship you start. The real key is learning how to spot the game while it's happening and knowing how to shut it down.
Sophia Castillo35 said:You need to activate your account by clicking the link in the email you provided when you signed up. If you're using Yahoo, make sure to check your spam folder just in case.
Man, I already did all that! I activated everything and even reached out to the forum admins. Still nothing. Why do you think this is happening? If I can't post here, I might as well go post everywhere else—I'm losing my mind over here.
Can someone please help me figure out what’s going wrong here?
Every single day—and I mean literally every day—I end up in a massive blowout with my parents. It’s especially bad with my dad. We fight over everything, from tiny little things to the most ridiculous, nonsensical nonsense imaginable...
He’ll make some claim, like saying something is one way, and when I try to explain or show him that it’s actually different, boom, we’re at it again. It always ends the same way. He thinks I’m just being contrarian, like I’ve teamed up against him or I'm intentionally being disrespectful. He even thinks his sister-in-law is getting in my ear, whispering things to turn me against him...
It’s pretty much the same story with my mom, though I feel like I can manage her a bit better...
I’m honestly starting to think about just packing up and leaving for six months or a year. Maybe go volunteer somewhere, or head out to stay with relatives halfway across the country... I just need some space to clear my head and really reflect on my own behavior and how I'm acting.
Alex Rogers96 said:I don't think that's quite right. Zen actually traveled from China to Japan, and it was already fully established by the time it arrived there. Bushido evolved from Zen principles, not the other way around. Plus, Shintoism is its own distinct thing.
It didn't just arrive in Japan completely unchanged, though. First off, Zen really started to evolve once it hit Japanese soil. If you look at the records of those monks, you'll see how much it shifted.
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