Posts by Amanda Flores2

Honestly, you guys—thank you so much! It’s funny how things work, but even just last night, I started feeling a bit more like myself again. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realized—really realized—that these breakouts aren't who I am as a person. And today? I actually woke up feeling genuinely happy. I haven't even reached for my magnifying mirror yet to start picking away at everything (and I solemnly swear, I really won't!).

I AM BEAUTIFUL! Even with the breakouts! 👍

It’s honestly exhausting being this hyper-aware of my own body every single second—it’s like I can't switch it off. When I’m out grabbing coffee or chatting with someone, I find myself spiraling into thoughts about whether I look okay under those specific restaurant lights, or if the lighting is doing me any favors at all. Even those awkward moments in an elevator, where that harsh, flickering fluorescent light hits you just right? I’ll literally just look down at my shoes and refuse to look up... it’s such a preoccupation. And the absolute kicker—the part that feels almost ridiculous—is that everyone around me constantly tells me I’m gorgeous. It’s like there’s this massive disconnect between what I see and what the world sees.

Do I lack self-confidence? Oh, absolutely. But it’s so much easier said than done—you know? Just stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful. Well, that’s my routine: I stand there, tears actually starting to well up, repeating "you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful" inside my head... but honestly? It doesn't help a bit because I still feel just as plain as before. And then, if I really want to make things worse—I'll grab two different mirrors and wander around the house, searching for some extra flaw I might have missed. But then, once by some miracle my face finally relaxes, I get hit with this wave of happiness and joy that feels almost unnatural. My confidence suddenly spikes! And that's what really haunts me—am I seriously going to let some silly little imperfections dictate how I live my life? I don't want to, I truly don't... but I just can't seem to help myself.

It’s just... when I start dwelling on it—honestly, I can get a little obsessed—it changes everything. You guys have no idea how much my entire personality shifts depending on how my skin is behaving. When I feel like I look good? I’m a completely different person—cheerful, smiling, just radiating positivity! But then, the moment I hit one of those phases where everything seems to go downhill and I feel like a total disaster... well, I just spiral. I get so fixated on it. My mom actually joked that she’s going to have to smash every mirror in the house just to save me from myself!

I really need to vent for a second... I’ve been struggling with these tiny breakouts all over my face, and honestly, it’s destroying my confidence. I feel so incredibly self-conscious. I’ve been seeing a dermatologist for months now—just going through the motions—but nothing seems to be changing. It’s frustrating, really. People keep telling me how beautiful I am, but I just can't see it; I feel terrible. I look at all these girls walking around the city with absolutely flawless skin—it feels like they're everywhere—and then there’s me, feeling like I want to hide whenever I step outside. Even when I'm talking to someone, I can't help but wonder if they're just staring at my blemishes instead of listening to what I'm saying. Every single morning, I find myself staring into the mirror for ten minutes straight, checking every possible angle, picking at my skin like some insecure teenager... even though I'm well past that stage. And yet, everyone insists it isn't even that noticeable—that they're just minor little spots! Why is it so hard for me to just accept this as part of who I am and stop obsessing over it?

Just wanted to jump in here for a second... I completely get where you're coming from. I’m actually navigating my own sense of emotional emptiness right now—for entirely different reasons, mind you—but at the end of the day, the sensation is pretty much identical. Just hang in there, okay? If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that you aren't alone in this. There are plenty more of us 😘