Posts by Jack Cook7

Did you guys realize that Donald Trump was the only US president who didn't have a pet!? 😲

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United...sidential_pets

Seriously, tell me that guy is normal! 🙂

🤣

Don't even sweat it! If you ever find yourself in a total nightmare scenario—totally cornered by a swarm of monkeys and zombies—don't lose your cool! 🙂

Take some advice from a pro: just pull a carton of Z'bregov milk out of your pocket, blast "Nike isn't as good as ours!" and start pouring it all over yourself!
Everyone will go absolutely ballistic, screaming and pulling their hair out like they’ve seen a ghost, yelling "Neeeee, not the Zagoracs again!!!" 👍

Just for Saleta: 🙂

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/irs...liation-report

Published May 15, 2023 9:29pm EDT
IRS kicks out the 'whole investigation squad' from the Hunter Biden case—whistleblower says it's pure retaliation: report

Lawyers for the whistleblower say the DOJ pulled the trigger on this move

Bradford BetzBy Bradford Betz | Fox News

And watch out for those chimpanzees in San Francisco!
https://babylonbee.com/news/san-fran...ay-all-the-poo

Quote : san Francisco Announces plan to Release Monkeys Onto The Streets to Fling Away All The Poo

Pretty much spot on! 👋

The only thing would be if we never had to deal with them ever again...

Ugh, okay, so now you're bragging about it.

But seriously, look at this beauty—where else are you gonna find something like this?!

I swear, everything in this country is imported. It’s like 90% of what we buy comes from overseas. You can't even find local seaweed if you try hard enough...

Let me know if they actually carry Z'bregov milk in San Francisco, otherwise we might have to ship some over...🙂

Arthur Sanders74 said:They must have hired some guy from the deep South to do this—it’s gonna take them at least six months just to wrap up one tiny little job! 😁

Man, who am I even kidding? Who would you even hire for a six-month gig right now? Like, who’s actually gonna spend the next half year grinding through a job that basically lasted three hours? And then—get this—the guy does such a legendary job "fixing" it that the boss ends up having to call him back for the next ten years just to keep things running. Honestly, finding someone with that kind of chaotic energy is impossible.

Man, Americans are something else. We really hit the jackpot with this crowd. Honestly, thank God we know how to belt out a song and hold our own in a fight, otherwise things would be looking pretty bleak around here.

So, hey, wouldn't using "coronation" like that be some weird regionalism? Isn't the standard American way to say it "crowning"? Ha, what do you think, Jack Cook7? 😬

I don't know, if my memory serves me right, Americans weren't exactly big on crowning people. They’d crown someone and then immediately start looking for ways to mess things up.

Man, my uncle would probably be absolutely losing it laughing at this right now. 🙂

Arthur Sanders74 said:I wasn't actually in America, just east of Niš. I haven't even been to Mexico.

Haha, Japan!👍

rowdytiger13 can explain exactly what we Americans get up to after we fly over Niš. 😉

You’re mixing me up with Nancy Pelosi Jr. She was there, and hey, she’s from those parts near the Adriatic too.

I have no clue where reptiles like that come from—probably some farm where they breed them just to make designer handbags and fancy fashion accessories. 😉

Man, thanks for the reminder. My uncle used to be a taxidermist, you know. Ever wonder why it took six whole months from when Elizabeth died until Charles had his Coronation?

Arthur Sanders74, were you just hanging out in America recently? Looks like you might've smuggled something extra in your luggage. 🙂

Arthur Sanders74 said:Man, I really didn't need to go Googling that Sandra Dabo lady... 🤣

The real question is—in this parade of tacky nonsense, who’s actually a reptile and who’s just human? 🤔 🙂

Not long ago, this popped up on my car playlist while I was cruising somewhere near Sebring, out on US-27. 👍

I'm honestly thinking about reincarnating. You know, fix my voice first, then grab a guitar. Only difference is back in '89 we were entertaining gorgeous young girls, but in 2023, you're lucky if * you land some used milfača. More often than not, you just get some chubby, boring girl who kills any motivation you had left. 🕺

*Just to be clear, I'm talking about the "fun" of playing music and singing here, don't go getting the wrong idea. 😉

Just keep singing, you beautiful swan.

Some bald dude is just straight up beating the hell out of a scrawny little devil in the pitch black.

The absolute mess I'm stuck in right now

Arthur Sanders74 said:Ugh, the British Royal Family is all over this thread again... who died now??? 🤔

A bunch of privileged white royals—probably the most pampered family in human history—🤮 yet you see these huge "fighters" for the underdog and the poor acting like total fanboys... honestly, the world is just so fake and hypocritical! 🤮

Where on earth did you see a crowd of white people at the Coronation yesterday?


And yeah, we seriously need to go grab an alligator for the local park...🥳

On this gorgeous day, go ahead and indulge in some Hollywood vibes. Make sure you turn the sound up!
https://twitter.com/MyLordBebo/statu...C2hYbPk_ctAAAA

Jerry Robinson56 said:Man, you should've led with that! 🕺 😁

Honestly, it kills me that we—you know, us Americans, all stubborn, blunt, and honestly pretty difficult people who can be way too set in our ways—can't even wrap our heads around such a simple problem.

Jerry Robinson56 said:re:

They just don't get dark humor... 😉

It's all right there in black and white, you just gotta know how to read between the lines. My favorite part, right?

We could probably teach them a thing or two about losing touch with reality, even if we still have a conscience.

The SECOND solution actually cracked me up first, but then immediately spooked me because my conscience has like a 10-second lag.

And I really hate being startled like that—it just means I'm lagging way behind the people for whom that was the FIRST solution.

Jesse Price said:Losing your ability to think straight is one of the big red flags when someone’s dealing with mercury poisoning. 😢

Man, look at this guy—acting like he's some kind of world-class statesman. 👍

Linda King said:Give us a hint!

Oh my God, Linda, this whole thread is basically "the third way for world politicians," and you're seriously stuck on something this simple?

The answer is super straightforward.

Honestly, I’d never trust any of those politicians anyway. Thank goodness.

So, we still haven't figured out how to slice one apple into three pieces with a single knife stroke for three people.

Yeah, no kidding. Just more proof of why I love my fellow Americans so much. 🙂

Because clearly, our people don't have a damn clue when it comes to politics.