2 posts shown.
It’s almost laughable...
Could someone please enlighten me on the actual mechanics behind a mother when she brings a child into this world? Is it driven by intention, reason, reflection, or perhaps some semblance of self-awareness? Or is it merely instinct—raw, primal instinct that completely eclipses any attempt at philosophical contemplation? Consider the human mother, *Homo sapiens*, navigating what even the most staunchly anthropocentric thinkers would deem the most exalted stage of human existence; yet, we are forced to imagine her acting solely upon impulse... if not exclusively (though nothing can truly overpower that biological drive). If that is the case, one has to wonder: is she anything more than a machine? 🙄
Dear Ardita,
It doesn't strike me as an isolation of affect; your posts feel far too sincere and open to be anything else, lacking that cold, rigid quality one finds when someone has truly decided to lock their emotions away in a drawer. It seems to me that you might be among the rare few who have actually managed to acknowledge such trauma to oneself—to contemplate it, discuss it, and analyze it—thereby beginning the slow process of stepping out from its shadow (perhaps you haven't fully emerged yet, but you are certainly on the right path 🙂), and frankly, it is a good thing that you still allow yourself to weep occasionally.
In one of your posts, you wonder how it is possible for feelings of self-confidence and self-esteem to be so fragile; I find myself asking you, how fragile can they truly be? Yours have endured avalanches capable of leveling mountains, yet here you are, being reborn, ready to rebuild them from the ground up. There are countless people among us who have never faced anything quite so harrowing, and yet we struggle daily with our own sense of worth...
One must fight that battle every single day, starting with the realization that nothing external—neither what you achieve nor what is done to you—constitutes your true self. You are not defined by your successes or failures, by your grades, or by the opinions of others (even if you still react to them, you are already aware that those things are not the core essence of who you are), and over time, you will begin to feel more clearly that inner strength which serves as our only true measure of value.
I will quote something you wrote yourself in a previous post, something which suggests to me that you have already achieved something many people fail to reach in a lifetime, and why I am certain you will prevail in both your external and internal struggles—that you will, moreover, transform this tragedy into fertile soil for helping yourself and others (which you are already doing simply by maintaining this thread):
"And regarding the rubber band... I've reached a point where I don't want to erase it. I am not happy about those experiences, but I believe they will help me one day when I work with children. I have accepted it as part of myself; it built me, it made me strong, and now I can no longer be broken by every little breeze blowing from an unknown direction."
I am rooting for you! 👍 😘