Posts by Daniel Martin12

Honestly, newlyweds—do yourselves a favor and check out the bakeries just outside of Washington, D.C. You'll find the exact same treats, if not even better ones, and they're way more affordable too.
Most of them even offer free delivery right into the city!

We picked up some treats from this little bakery where they were only 50/$18/lb—honestly, they were incredible! I can't believe they aren't just as good as the ones at those fancy shops charging $27/lb.

Honestly, my logic is pretty simple—you don't need more dessert at home than what you’re serving at the venue.
If you aren't counting gift baskets—because those are separate—and you end up with about 40 pounds of sweets at the restaurant for 170 guests staying roughly 8 hours, then buying an extra 100 pounds to take home is just overkill. People are only sticking around for an hour or two and will probably only grab one little treat. Plus, to actually use up 100 pounds, you'd need dozens of people who weren't even at the wedding—unless you plan on handing out 10-pound bags to every neighbor on the block, which is just silly.
When I treated the people I wanted to celebrate—mainly my coworkers at the office—who didn't make it to the wedding, I didn't just bring sweets; I brought deli trays and drinks too. That way, everyone gets a little bit of everything.

Maybe ask Arthur Thompson11 one more time where they actually plan on distributing all that extra food.

Arthur Thompson11 said:I really appreciate all the advice—every bit of it helps more than you know. I’m fully aware that I'm overdoing it with the cookies, and there’s no doubt we'll end up with a mountain of leftovers. As I mentioned before, we still have two months until we have to make the final call on how many pounds of food to order.

My gut is telling me something isn't adding up here—though maybe I'm just overthinking it.
If you’ve got 63 lbs total—that's the 43 lbs for the guest favors plus the 20 lbs sitting on the tables—for 170 guests...
And then you have another 56 lbs at home? That means you'd need at least 100 more people who weren't even at the wedding to eat through those leftovers.

So, are you doing individual favor boxes for everyone, or one box per couple?

Arthur Thompson11 said:Daniel Martin12: I completely get where you're coming from. I told you already—I know exactly how many cupcakes I need for my own crowd (just for us and our guests at home). As for the rest, my mother and mother-in-law already sat down and crunched the numbers to figure out how much they'll need... 🤷

Mine and hers were doing the exact same thing—I just stood there looking pale!
But hey, whatever. Everyone can order what they want; I'm just here to give my two cents on how much dessert we actually need for the wedding day itself.

So you’ve got 28 kg at home
he’s got 28 kg over there
that makes 56 kg total
If you two actually manage to polish off 16 kg—which, let's be real, isn't happening—you'd still be sitting on 40 kg
And honestly? You'll probably end up giving away about 10 kg just out of politeness
Basically, by the day after the wedding, you guys will have 50 kg of dessert left... assuming you haven't already handed out gift baskets full of sweets to every single guest at the reception
It might not play out exactly like that, but it's a very real possibility.
Look, if you actually have a plan for 50 kg of cake once the party's over, then go ahead and order it—otherwise, you're just going to end up with a dumpster full of sugar.
I'm not telling you what to do, just a little food for thought before you place that order.

A quick tip for the rest of the wedding party:
When you're budgeting for desserts, feel free to aim for about 10 to 15 ounces per person. You'll still have plenty left over to bring into the office or share with the neighbors.
Most of you are probably being pressured by your parents right now—they're obsessed with ordering massive amounts because they're convinced it won't be enough (trust me, I've been there)—but try to talk them down, even if it's an uphill battle.
Now, all the local bakeries are probably going to hate me for saying this, since they'd much rather sell you as much as possible.

Betty Foster8 said:I'm totally with you on this one! It’s just such a massive waste of food and money

It's obviously a huge waste.
I don't want people thinking you have to go broke just to throw a wedding, but you definitely shouldn't go overboard either.
I think when you're dealing with big events—like weddings or massive parties—it's so easy to lose track of how much stuff you actually need.
My parents used to tell me, for example:
"What's the point of planning for maybe a pound of food per person? You should plan for two or three!"—but then, in reality, people end up eating way more than that anyway.
Thank goodness I managed to talk them out of buying those extra trays of cookies. It wasn't even about the cash; it was just the thought of having all that leftovers left over with nowhere to put them, only to end up tossing everything in the trash.

Man, I had about 150 people over.
We ended up with maybe 2-3 lbs left at my place—most of it just sat there.
Same thing at my wife's house, about 2-3 lbs that barely got touched.
At the restaurant, we had something like 40 lbs left... honestly, I don't even know how much of that we brought back home.

I’m totally with Daniel Martin12 on this one—having a pound of something on the table for an 8 to 10 person dinner is fine. But even then, you'll probably have more than half left over... though you really need enough on the table to make it look like an actual meal!

Not trying to be a know-it-all here—but maybe take a look at what 220 pounds of cake actually looks like.
I mean, if you try to do the math and realize it’s like over half a pound per person, it might seem small, but trust me, it's massive.
There’s just so much other food at a wedding that you’ll probably only grab a couple of slices all day.

Look, if you aren't handing out those cookies on Friday and waiting until Saturday instead—then having 28 kg at your place and another 28 kg at your fiancé's means you're going to have way too many sweets to actually serve!
The amount of dessert eaten on the wedding day—between his place, yours, and the banquet hall—is honestly negligible. I've been to plenty of weddings with all kinds of crowds, and most of the time, people barely touch the sweets.
They're basically just there for decoration on the tables.
Since you really need to focus on what guests actually care about—you know, the main course and the drinks—the desserts are almost an afterthought.
If you calculated it so that maybe 5 kg of your 28 kg stash gets eaten (which is already a stretch!) and you'll split the remaining 23 kg among people without overstuffing them, then your math checks out. Same goes for your guy.

Arthur Thompson11 said:Well, I'm from a different part of the country, so my traditions are a bit different.
When people bring over gifts on Friday, I feel like I have to serve them something. Then, on the wedding day itself, everyone gathers for an afternoon snack—where we'll have the pastries, the charcuterie, the cheese, and so on. After that, the group heads out to collect the bride. At her place, there's usually a small buffet setup.
Then comes the ceremony, followed by the reception at the hotel, where every table gets a few pounds of pastries—plus, as guests are leaving, they get a little box of treats to take home. And finally, the next day, the parents go around visiting folks—coworkers, neighbors, and such.

The second part makes sense, but I'm still a little lost on the first half.
Okay, let's say I'm a guest and I drop off a gift on Friday. You offer me some cookies and appetizers right then and there—but do you also give me a box of sweets when I leave that same day?

Tell me about it. Even my folks wanted to order a mountain of those cookies—I could barely talk them out of such nonsense.
It feels like people just lose all sense of scale in situations like that.
Later on, we ended up handing out some of the cookies that weren't even meant for sharing to the last few guests hanging around, then took the rest home.
Out of everything we brought back, I took some to the office, my wife took some to her work, we shared a bit with the neighbors and family, and eventually, some just went to waste.
That was the whole saga of those 55 pounds of cookies. Honestly, even 30 pounds would've been plenty.

So, just to make sure I've got this straight—you're serving cookies to guests when they drop off the gift on Friday, and then again at the wedding on Saturday? Or am I totally misreading the plan?
As for when everyone shows up to pick up the bride—honestly, you probably won't even need more than a couple of pounds of sweets, if that.
What you really need is some good prosciutto, smoked sausage, cheese, and a solid bottle of wine—that’s the real deal right there. The cookies are really just for show.

Arthur Thompson11 said:😱😱 Don't scare me like that
The math:
170 people getting 0.25 oz of cookies per box = 43 lbs

Restaurant portion: 44 lbs
My batch at home: 62 lbs
His batch: 62 lbs...
= 168 lbs total
Good grief... hopefully that's enough food

I get the restaurant and the little gift boxes part, but I don't get why you need 28 kg of cookies at home? I mean—if you guys usually pass out that much dessert, sure—but in my book, that's just overkill.
I had 150 guests once and we only went through 25 kg total, which was more than plenty.

So, I just wrapped up my fifth day commuting by bike, and man—what a game changer. Honestly, I feel like a new person. It’s such a blast riding, and I'm barely even slower than if I'd just hopped in the car.
By the time I roll into the office, I’m already warmed up and feeling totally refreshed—while everyone else is still dragging themselves along, nursing their coffees and trying to wake up.
I just toss a spare shirt and some jeans in my backpack to change into once I arrive. I actually picked up a bike rack for my car, too, so I don't have to carry the heavy pack on my back—which really helps with staying cool.
But the best part? The ride home. Usually, it's already heating up outside, so I'm just cruising in my shorts (cycling gear), getting home while the rest of the crew is stuck staring at brake lights in traffic or squeezed onto a crowded bus. Hehehe.
All in all, I am loving every second of this!

Yeah, honestly, it’s been great. I really should've jumped on this sooner—I kept putting it off, too good to pass up.
But now that I've finally broken the ice, I don't even bother starting up my car just to head into the office anymore—at least not when the weather is actually nice!
It's funny, because just today, a few of my coworkers were saying they’re thinking about biking in, too. I guess the hardest part is just getting started—once you're out there, you find your rhythm and it just feels totally normal.

So, I finally bit the bullet and biked to work for the first time today!
I’ve been talking about doing this forever—just couldn't quite pull the trigger until now.
It's about 4.4 miles from my place to the office, and honestly, the ride was pretty smooth... so yeah, I'm definitely biking again tomorrow.
My only real gripe was the backpack I used to carry my work clothes—my back got a little sweaty, which wasn't ideal—but I'm planning to pick up a basket or something similar today to solve that.
Overall, I'm loving it—plus, there's a dedicated bike path the whole way!