Living with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder
in Psychology ·
I can't believe I'm reading this—honestly, I was in almost the exact same boat as you, and sometimes I still feel that way. I started hating going to campus, hating the people there, even total strangers. I lost interest in stuff I never thought I’d lose; I couldn't be bothered to go to concerts, grab coffee with old friends, go to the movies... nothing. I skipped exams because getting out of bed felt impossible (even though I actually studied), and I kept pushing things off just because the idea of taking the subway felt like too much work. I'd sleep all day, wake up at 5 PM, and then go right back to sleep by 10. That summer you described? Same thing. I didn't leave the house. Everyone else was at the beach or studying, and while I told myself I was hitting the books—with my textbooks sitting right there on the desk—I wasn't actually doing anything. I even gained 4 pounds 🙂
Eventually, about six months later, I finally started getting back into a routine. I stopped obsessing over everything, and things just sort of fell into place. Now, I try to do stuff I actually enjoy and avoid overthinking it—because let's face it, overthinking is a trap. I still have those stretches where I won't leave my room or the house, where I just want to rot in bed with zero motivation. When that happens, I just tell myself "this is pointless" and force myself to move, even if it's just a little. I haven't even seen a psychiatrist because I'm not looking to get on meds, and honestly, I wouldn't know what to even say there. Anyway, I don't know why I'm even typing this out, but now you see you're not alone. Hang in there. Like people told you, just find stuff that makes you happy (and trust me, there's something out there), see a therapist if you think you need one, or just vent to a friend. Focus on school, stop spiraling in your own head... it'll get better, at least a little bit.
Eventually, about six months later, I finally started getting back into a routine. I stopped obsessing over everything, and things just sort of fell into place. Now, I try to do stuff I actually enjoy and avoid overthinking it—because let's face it, overthinking is a trap. I still have those stretches where I won't leave my room or the house, where I just want to rot in bed with zero motivation. When that happens, I just tell myself "this is pointless" and force myself to move, even if it's just a little. I haven't even seen a psychiatrist because I'm not looking to get on meds, and honestly, I wouldn't know what to even say there. Anyway, I don't know why I'm even typing this out, but now you see you're not alone. Hang in there. Like people told you, just find stuff that makes you happy (and trust me, there's something out there), see a therapist if you think you need one, or just vent to a friend. Focus on school, stop spiraling in your own head... it'll get better, at least a little bit.