Posts by Michael Bishop8

I was sitting on my porch last night, staring at the horizon, and I realized I had no idea if it was actually getting dark or if I was just experiencing that weird, disorienting twilight that seems to last for hours lately. It’s hard to pinpoint, but there’s this pervasive sense that the fundamental structures we use to organize our lives—the stuff we take for granted like the passage of time, the seasons, or even the rules of the games we follow—are becoming increasingly fluid and, frankly, exhausting to keep up with.

It feels like we are living in an era of constant renegotiation. You look at how we handle our bodies and our sleep cycles, and then you look at how we handle our professional lives or even our leisure time, and it’s all just... shifting. There used to be a certain predictability to existence. You knew when the sun would set, you knew when the season would peak, and you knew that once a certain period of time had passed, a chapter was closed. Now? It feels like the "rules" are being rewritten mid-sentence by forces we can't even see.

Take the way we view progress or "seasons" in general. I was thinking about this while watching a documentary on how different cultures historically viewed the passage of time. For most of human history, we were slaves to the sun and the soil. We had a rhythm. But now, we’ve built this hyper-accelerated, artificial framework where we are constantly trying to squeeze more out of every hour, while simultaneously fighting against our own biological clocks because the very concept of "day" and "night" feels like it’s being stretched or compressed by bureaucratic whims or technological creep. It’s a strange kind of vertigo.

I’ve felt it personally. Last month, I felt like I was stuck in a permanent state of "early afternoon" where nothing quite felt settled. I couldn't decide if I was being productive or just spinning my wheels. It’s that feeling where the boundaries are blurred—the boundary between work and rest, the boundary between a "season" being over and a new one starting, or even the boundary of whether someone is still "in the game" or has moved on. We’re obsessed with extensions. We want more time, more eligibility, more chances, more light, more everything. But at what point does the constant pursuit of "one more" actually destroy the integrity of the thing we’re trying to preserve?

There’s a psychological toll to this lack of closure. If everything is always "pending," or if the rules regarding how long someone can participate in a cycle are constantly being debated and adjusted, we lose that sense of earned completion. We lose the satisfaction of the finish line. I see it in how people talk about their careers, how we view aging, and even how we engage with sports or entertainment. The "finality" of things is becoming a relic. We are becoming a society of perpetual transitions.

I find myself wondering if we are actually making life better by trying to optimize every single second and extend every single phase, or if we are just creating a sort of temporal chaos that leaves us feeling perpetually unanchored. We are trying to manipulate the very fabric of how we experience existence just to shave off a little bit of friction or gain a little more advantage. But maybe that friction is exactly what gives life its shape. Without the dark, how do we appreciate the light? Without the end of a season, how do we value the beginning?

I'm curious if anyone else feels this "drifting" sensation lately. Is it just a lack of sleep, or is the world actually losing its internal pulse? Do you think our constant attempts to tweak and adjust the fundamental rhythms of life are helping us, or are we just making ourselves more anxious and disconnected from the natural order of things?

I was watching something the other day—not even a celebrity news thing, just a random video essay on YouTube about public perception—and it got me thinking about this weird phenomenon of the "rebrand." You know the one. A public figure hits a massive, undeniable wall. They say the wrong thing, they get caught in a messy situation, or they just become the face of something they never intended to be part of. They become the villain, or at the very least, the punchline of every late-night monologue for months on end.

And then, suddenly, they pivot. They trade the big stage for something much smaller, much more "intimate," and way more domestic. It’s almost always a shift toward the "lifestyle" sphere: cooking, gardening, or just sitting in a well-lit kitchen talking directly to a camera like they're having coffee with a friend. It’s a fascinating tactical move, isn't it? It’s an attempt to strip away the artifice of the "celebrity" and replace it with "relatability."

But here’s the part that trips me up: why do I—and why do so many of us—find ourselves actually rooting for them?

There is a certain psychological itch that gets scratched when we see someone who was effectively "canceled" or humiliated trying to rebuild from scratch. It feels like a redemption arc in real-time. We want to believe that people can move past their most awkward or controversial moments. There’s this almost primal urge to see the underdog succeed, even if the "underdog" is a millionaire who just chose a different niche.

I remember back in the day when a certain pop star had a massive scandal and disappeared, only to resurface years later with a stripped-back, acoustic album and a much more "authentic" persona. The media went from tearing them apart to calling them "brave" and "vulnerable" almost overnight. It feels like a choreographed dance, but the emotional payoff for the audience is strangely real.

I do wonder, though, about the authenticity of it all. When a person pivots from being a massive, high-octane media personality to someone doing something as mundane as slicing vegetables or talking about their daily routine, is it a genuine moment of soul-searching, or is it just the most efficient way to bypass the gatekeepers of traditional media? It feels like a way to bypass the "criticism" by moving into a space where the criticism feels "mean" or "unnecessary." If you're just a person in a kitchen, how can anyone tell you you're doing a bad job?

It’s a strange loop. We watch the "new" version of them, knowing full well the "old" version is still lurking in the public consciousness. We see the polished, softer edges, and we try to convince ourselves that this is the *real* person. And yet, there’s a part of me that feels a bit cynical about the sheer intentionality of these pivots. It feels like a survival mechanism for the modern era.

Do you think these massive pivots are actually effective at changing public opinion, or is it just a way for these figures to stay relevant while waiting for the storm to pass? Does the "relatability" angle actually work on you, or do you see right through the soft lighting and the domestic settings?

I honestly can't believe I'm even bringing this up because I know I can be a total handful sometimes, but I just had to share this little epiphany with you all! You know how I'm always tripping over my own feet or second-guessing every single decision I make, well, I finally had one of those "aha!" moments that actually felt productive for once. It’s funny how we spend so much time worrying about the tiny, insignificant details that we completely miss the big picture staring us right in the face, isn't it? I was sitting there thinking about how much energy I waste on things that don't even matter, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I really need to start prioritizing my peace of mind over being perfectly organized all the time. Anyway, I'm feeling super pumped about this new outlook, even if I'll probably go back to my old, chaotic ways by tomorrow morning! kaže:
You know, I’ve been thinking about this lately, and honestly, it feels like you only need two people to start a relationship, but somehow it takes three to actually break one apart—and no, I’m definitely not talking about a kid!😁

You aren't kidding... that is spot on!

Alex Thomas6 said:I have to say, I think this is a bit insane.

Your wife fell for someone else, and your solution is to take her to a therapist to "un-love" him? Seriously? 😲 😲

And now you’re actually asking if hypnosis could work to make her lose those feelings?!!?? 😕 😕

I honestly can't believe this. You have some incredibly bizarre ideas here—so weird that anyone reading this is probably picturing you as the strange one, not your wife.

So, she fell for someone else. Okay... how long have you two been together? It sounds like it's been over 20 years... do you really think you're the only person in America dealing with a marriage falling apart after two decades? And where did this idea come from that her being in love is the actual "problem"? Any intense infatuation—especially when the passion is at its peak—is inherently problematic.

Her feelings for this other guy aren't some case of cosmic fate or destiny; they're a direct result of her being unsatisfied in the marriage and following an impulse to find something new.

And then there's this part—you don't want to let her just enjoy the "fun stuff," the dates and the sex with him, while the kids stay with the grandparents so she can be free to indulge. Sorry, but that doesn't sit right with me. That is completely twisted, unhealthy, and just plain crazy. What is wrong with you, man? You can't just control her like she's your pet poodle.

In my opinion, you are the one who needs some serious psychotherapy. The way you're reasoning through this is totally abnormal to me. I know you're going to claim you "just want to save the marriage"... but look at the toxic logic you're injecting into that goal ("I won't let her have sex with him"). The level of obsession here is wild!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I suppose... it's just that opinions vary wildly depending on exactly what kind of situation you're facing...
I was thinking along completely different lines before all of this went down...

slydriver17 said:Oh, for crying out loud.😲

Have you perhaps discovered a latent streak of masochism within yourself?
🙄😁

just kidding 🙂

slydriver17 said:You know, I’ve been doing some thinking lately. Honestly, just deal with it. But don't go overboard—you don't want to actually maim her or, heaven forbid, end up facing an investigation for excessive force. The poor kid. If you truly love her, remember that if you fail here, some random stranger is going to step in to raise your child. Take a willow switch or maybe even a bamboo rod, like something out of those old Kung Fu movies, and give her a firm lesson. Make her understand. Of course, all my advice goes out the window if this whole thing—this relationship that somehow morphed into a marriage—wasn't built on actual love to begin with. If there were ulterior motives from the start, then you have to accept that you were simply being a fool. But, if there was genuine affection, then you just need to remind her through disciplined, measured correction. There are ways to handle it without leaving marks, you know. And then there's the risk of her suing you. Have you seen these modern, "emancipated" women today? They act like they've finally achieved equality, yet they conveniently forget that equality has absolutely nothing to do with parental authority. That's just how it is. Anyway, that's just some food for thought. You don't have to take my word for it; I might be losing my mind. 🙂

Yeah, I have to admit, this post actually helped me out quite a bit.

slydriver17 said:There is something fundamentally masochistic about the way some women chase after a man. It feels like some primal, self-defeating instinct. 😁
When there is an attempt to "switch" traditional roles, the result is almost always a rebellious child who refuses to listen to their father—the one person who actually possesses the intellect and wisdom to guide them.🤣

That is honestly so true... but I can't help feeling like I'm stuck in a situation where one tiny slip-up could bring the whole thing crashing down. My therapist actually described it perfectly—it's like trying to walk across a frozen lake while holding a bar of wet soap that you absolutely cannot let drop.
And through all this, I have this nagging fear that if I stop "chasing" her, she’ll just turn around and walk away for good. Maybe I am totally overthinking it, who knows? Lately, I've been trying really hard to step back and not be the one doing all the pursuing, but it feels like we're just drifting further apart.

slydriver17 said:You are essentially shifting the entire "problem" onto her. In reality, both you and she have things to figure out. Who is to say who knows what? Blah, blah, blah... I don't want to make things more difficult, but a woman doesn't enter a relationship solely for the sake of physical intimacy. (For the most part, 😁). When people separate—if they even do separate, though in this case, something is clearly fracturing—it has to hurt. Whether that pain is "good" or "bad" isn't the point right now; the point is the simple fact that it is occurring. There's another profound piece of wisdom to consider here: 🙄—you only truly see the coastline once you've moved away from the shore where you used to watch the sun rise.🙄
Everything falls apart when it's meant to fall apart. It's like a person developing an abscess because of debris under the skin (or perhaps just hormonal fluctuations). It's like the earth itself; when it can no longer withstand the pressure, it erupts with volcanoes and various other catastrophes. When love vanishes from a relationship, people start searching for other outlets to "fulfill" that "function," especially when the root cause of the crisis isn't immediately visible. However, it isn't particularly helpful to throw generalized advice at people, because ultimately, everything comes back to you and your own ability to help yourself. In short? Pick up a shovel and get some manual labor done...

Oh, it's not that I'm trying to pin this on her... I am fully aware that the current situation is mostly the fallout from my own actions... the only thing I'd say about her is that she didn't speak up sooner through communication... she didn't say anything... instead, she just started pulling away... that's really all there is to it regarding her...

And I know that I'm the only one who can actually help myself... and I am working on it... it's a slow process, it's tough, but I'm making progress... or at least, I really hope I am.

slydriver17 said:Look, let’s be real here. Love doesn't just vanish. People change. That is the simple, harsh reality. If there is genuine love there, there is no way they won't realize it sooner or later. That realization is everything. But by the time they reach that point, so much time has slipped through your fingers while you were desperately trying to hold onto something that was already fading.🙄😁
In the interim, a gradual shift occurs—a metamorphosis that remains invisible to you because you are far too preoccupied with trying to squeeze sand through your clenched fists. And if the love truly isn't there, you will eventually see that too, if you haven't already. There is nothing wrong with accepting that, provided the disappointment doesn't absolutely destroy you.

That's so true... that sand analogy really hits home. And while there's definitely a chance they'll eventually see sense, my big worry is just how much longer I can keep hanging in there through all of this..

Because honestly, the pain is just overwhelming... I feel like I'm totally non-functional since this started; I can barely get anything done at work...

Yeah, who honestly knows what kind of crazy twists life is going to throw at you next...
And when I really sit down and think about it... the absolute baseline requirement for hypnosis to even stand a chance of working—whether we're talking about big shifts or just something super practical like kicking a smoking habit or losing a few pounds—is that the person being hypnotized actually has to *want* it. If they don't truly desire that change, whether they realize it consciously or it's buried deep in their subconscious... well, then nothing much happens.

So, I guess the big takeaway here is... there’s just no way to actually "un-love" someone? Is it possible that hypnosis isn't even worth the hype when it comes to moving on?

Honestly, I think it’s just a little bit of a bummer, as far as I can tell,

Well, look, the situation is that I'm married... but my wife has fallen for someone else. It's absolutely wild... though I’m really holding onto this tiny shred of hope that there's still a spark of reason left in her, and that we might be able to salvage this marriage—even if it isn't for the sake of our kid.

I totally get that there aren't any overnight fixes for something this heavy, but at the same time... I just can't sit here and wait months on end for this feeling to pass... assuming it even does.
It's already been dragging on for five months now.

Does anyone have any insight, ideas, or maybe even a recommendation for someone I could talk to? I was wondering if hypnosis might actually work to help someone "unfall" in love—you know, like helping you finally move on and stop being so obsessed with a certain person.